Monday, July 13, 2015

Space Lawyer: The Next Generation, Part 1

Another blissful day in the Gamis system. And why shouldn't it be? Gamis had the Code, after all. But the peace and tranquility of Gamis was rudely interrupted by an unlicensed Iteron V screeching through the system without so much as a "praise James". Agent Kalorned decided it was time to pump the brakes on whatever the heck was going on there. He began bumping the industrial ship away from the gate and initiated a convo with the pilot.


Thanks to Kalorned's elite bumping technique, he'd successfully pulled Allesdair Crendraven's Iteron V over to the side of the road. Allesdair seemed impatient, which is always a red flag. Where was he off to in such a hurry?


Kalorned was taken aback. From the dawn of the New Order, space lawyers have been with us. They are becoming less common, though. Was Allesdair really going to space-lawyer in Gamis, of all places?


It was confirmed. Allesdair was a space lawyer. He questioned Kalorned's interpretation of the Code and then immediately brought CCP's rules into the equation, too. This is sometimes referred to as "space-lawyering from both ends".


As Allesdair confidently barked into the private chat channel, Kalorned went silent. Allesdair wondered why. Apparently he wasn't paying very close attention...


...Because at that very moment, Kalorned's alts were busy ganking Allesdair's octuple-anti-tanked Iteron V.


The carebear's claims about not being a miner held less weight once Kalorned sifted through the cargo section of the killmail. Sure enough, there were two Retrievers and some mining equipment. Maybe Allesdair was "just holding them for a friend"?


With the destruction of Allesdair's 376 million isk ship and cargo out of the way, our hero was free to continue the conversation.


It was true. Years ago, CCP politely threatened to ban me if I didn't remove the legendary chat logs in which a GM helped me develop the idea of the New Order. Given the historic nature of the logs, I sent in a request for an exception, but my request was denied.


Allesdair was a new breed of space lawyer for a new generation of EVE players. Over the past three years, many EVE players have grown up with the Code, you might say. It is integral to the highsec experience. Perhaps that is why it felt natural for Allesdair to blend the Code and CCP's rules together. When he accused Kalorned of being in violation of "the rules", he referred to both the EULA and the Code. Could this new evolution, this hybrid space law, bring Allesdair the success that eluded so many space lawyers of the past?


Then Allesdair questioned Kalorned's authority to enforce the Code. Big mistake.


It was a disaster. Allesdair, who had claimed to be so well-versed in MinerBumping, couldn't think of any posts where Kalorned was mentioned. All things considered, visiting Gamis probably wasn't Allesdair's smartest move.


When all else fails, the space lawyer reaches for the nuclear option.

To be continued...

46 comments:

  1. Ooooh... this carebear is going to call CCP, and not the "real police." Let's see what this miner finds out about who CCP says the "real" authorities are! :smug:

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    Replies
    1. Well to start with, the real authorities don't lie about their authority like the new order does, because the new order has no authority, it is a lie...

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    2. @Anon8:52
      We don't lie about our authority either. Try flying through Uedama in a non-compliant Freighter without a permit, and you'll figure out that the Code is a very real set of laws.

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    3. That is not authority, ming, that is simply a gang of criminals doing their criminal thing, remember the new haliama code of code is so full of lies and deceit that it is a lie...

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    4. Its strange that ming uses words like "We" "our" and "Us" when he...err it is never involved in any activities that the real code agents are involved in.

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    5. EverReady BunnieJuly 14, 2015 at 7:43 AM

      Authority is just your ability to impose your will on other people. The Army is an example of authority. The CODE can enforce their authority on people by using antimatter.

      Delete
    6. EverReady BunnieJuly 14, 2015 at 7:45 AM

      Actually while I think. Concord imposes its authority by killing ships when you go criminal. CCP impose their authority on us by using the EULA to ban chars if they break it. Its all the same.

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    7. Remember the code is a lie, it may have some support that can apply force, but that force is by no means authority...

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    8. The code is truth

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  2. It's just an 'I'm going to tell on you' reaction from Mr Crendraven.

    That's Maestro Kalorned for you; awakening the carebear's inner child with a consistency that defies imitation.

    Roll on part two!



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  3. Allesdair Crendraven is no match for Agent Kalorned. The latter graduated with highest honors from our New Order School of Space Law in Halaima.

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    1. It seems that Allesdair went to one of the weaker space academies of law. He would have been better off taking space correspondence courses with Babatunde B Babatunde, a foremost expert in space litigation and the man who came closest to snuffing out the New Order via a procedural loophole.

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  4. Allesdair was caught in a lie! He claimed Kalorned didn't tell him how much a permit cost, and screen shots confirm he did mention 10M a year for a permit.
    I was about to give him credit for not raging over his loss, but at the last minute, he threatened to petition. :(

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  5. Replies
    1. ... and when it dies, The New Order will declare Highsec saved. And then we will go out and spread the word of James 315 to another game that is in desperate need of His Holy Word.

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    2. The problem is that there is no other game, that I'm aware of, where you can pull off the same kind of stunts that you can in EvE. So when the game dies, James 315 (character), the new order, and the damned code will die with it.

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    3. @ Butthurt Miner,
      That is where code will really cry, since they will get banned SO fast from other games. I really hope james keeps this site running after EvE dies, that way we can watch the flood of tears, rants, and tantrums that code will throw.
      I personally will fit in nicely with other games, as i don't know of any games that dislike kind people who help one another.

      -=M=-

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    4. @Butthurt Miner
      There is always Elite Dangerous.

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    5. If/When EvE dies, I can always go back to WoW. On a PvE server, you can't gank someone if they are not pvp flagged. So, that makes WoW code free. I'll have to look up Elite Dangerous.

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    6. Elite Dangerous was so deathly boring.

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    7. There are plenty of games out there that a New Order would work wonders in. Off the top of my head? Elite Dangerous, Crowfall and Albion (both not out yet, but I know you can early access for Albion), and that's just off the top of my head.

      Also, one must remember that the CODE itself is a living and breathing document. If CCP decided to close down EVE tomorrow, the New Haliama CODE of conduct can be adapted to help save other games.

      Remember, "Eve Is Dying" obsessed miners. It's not our fault. According to CCP itself, we improve player subscription rates by what we do. Funny part is, they didn't mention that anti-social miners seem to do much for the community.

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    8. The carebears already destroyed Albion with their tears for more safety. PvP is almost death in that game because everything is stacked in favour of the carebear, even in red zones, which should be a 0.0 equivalent. And that game is still in alpha...

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    9. I did read elsewhere (?TMC comments ?Reddit) of a game called 'Wurm'.

      I did a quick check. Game is so-so, but when I looked at the forum - O my word, the tears from carebears! Felt quite at home really.

      There's a Warning To Newcomers thread:(http://forum.wurmonline.com/index.php?/topic/126845-warning-to-newcomers-in-hots/)

      a Should Theft Be Allowed? thread:
      http://forum.wurmonline.com/index.php?/topic/126128-should-theft-be-allowed/

      And even a 'Not Having Pure PVE Hurts Wurm thread:
      http://forum.wurmonline.com/index.php?/topic/126631-not-having-pure-pve-hurts-wurm/

      Go on, have a giggle...

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    10. Lol, looks like they even have PvE and PvP servers separated and one of them cries about it even he chose the PvP server. This is what always happens. I experienced it in another MMO, where they had two PvP servers and tons of PvE, yet the carebears still came to the PvP server, cried and demanded safety until the publisher changed the game and basically killed open world PvP. That game still has some players left, but it essentially died a long time ago because of the bears and their silly demands to remove every last challenge from the game.

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    11. Clearly those complaining are envious of others, guilty of a deadly sin. Whereas those such as CODE give freely of themselves to better others.
      I think the bears need to walk more in the light of Jesus.

      Delete
    12. @Sasha
      Thanks for those links!

      Yes, it appears that the Saviour's diagnosis of the pattern of bot-aspirancy that appears in PvE games was staggeringly clairvoyant and ahead of its time. Bot-aspirancy is everywhere, and if EVE ever falters, we will take the Code and preach it in other games. Bot-aspirancy must not only be defeated in New Eden, but EVERYWHERE.

      Only when ALL are singing the praises of James 315 in all games will our work ever truly be done.

      Delete
    13. So, then your work, as you call it will never be done, what a shame that you picked an impossible to reach goal to champion...

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    14. I'm going to bring the love of the Code to Minesweeper.

      Delete
  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  7. Since we are talking about space lawyering, why not just go for real life lawyering? I am actually surprised considering how much loss that code has inflicted on the innocent citizens of New Eden, that nobody has sued CCP over the losses (after all, ISK = Real Money since the market value of plex can be used to gauge the ISK to RM exchange ratio) and probably sue the character James 315 in court for emotional distress. Since CCP has offices in the U.S.A., when they get a subpoena, they have three choices:

    1. Comply and release the personal details of the person behind the character James 315.
    2. File a motion to quash.
    3. Be held in contempt of court.

    So, if you really want to get back at these code idiots, sue them, in a real court. That will put a stop the new order, code, and the suicide ganking faster than anything CCP can do.

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    Replies
    1. haha jesus christ how do you manage to breath with your amount of brianpower?

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    2. @Butthurt Miner
      What you are suggesting is criminal and immoral on many levels.

      First of all, you are suggesting that someone dox James 315. This makes it inherently more likely that someone may compile and release details on you, given that you know thatJames 315 has friends that could easily find out who you are without much effort.

      Secondly, you are assuming that James 315 lives in the United States. I remember, once you wrote a post (before it got moderated, lol) saying that you thought James 315 lived in Ireland. Under your suggestion, you could not file for relief, since the place you think James 315 lives is in Ireland, which are outside of the purview of US courts.

      Finally, it states specifically in the EULA that ISK and other electronic ingame items contain no real world monetary value and that CCP can add and take away these items, pretty much at their discretion- and the rating system tells us that the game isn't rated, so therefore no claims of emotional distress can be filed against CCP.

      So thanks for outing yourself as a dick who promotes doxxing to get back at their in-game enemies. I hope someone tells us who you really are so that the people who would supposedly come after James 315 come after you instead.

      Delete
    3. Cant believe im going to mostly agree with ming here, but the only likely way that butthurt miner could sue james 315, is likely only if both butthurt miner and james 315 lived in the same country. Add to that they would likely both have to be in iceland, for ccp to be summoned to the court hearings to even let butthurt miner have a clue who james 315 is in real life.

      On where James 315 lives, i personally would venture England would be the place, based on the spellings he uses when he writes long posts. I have friends in both Ireland and England, and James fits England much better.

      Lastly, on the part that ming says James has friends who could find out who butthurt miner is, doubtful for the same reasons that BM cant find out who james is. Besides, 'if' such a thing where plausible, and james had those types of friends, he would have given up my main character by now, and he has not.

      Lots of love,
      -=M=-

      Delete
    4. "Since we are talking about space lawyering, why not just go for real life lawyering? I am actually surprised considering how much loss that code has inflicted on the innocent citizens of New Eden, that nobody has sued CCP over the losses (after all, ISK = Real Money since the market value of plex can be used to gauge the ISK to RM exchange ratio) and probably sue the character James 315 in court for emotional distress. Since CCP has offices in the U.S.A., when they get a subpoena, they have three choices:

      1. Comply and release the personal details of the person behind the character James 315.
      2. File a motion to quash.
      3. Be held in contempt of court.

      So, if you really want to get back at these code idiots, sue them, in a real court. That will put a stop the new order, code, and the suicide ganking faster than anything CCP can do."

      Wow. Any slight respect I might've had for BM, I have now lost.

      Delete
    5. Apparently someone hasn't read the TOS and EULA >.>

      I'll give you a hint.All In-game assets including plex and isk has no IRL monetary value and is the property of CCP and can be taken away with or without cause at CCP discretion.

      Do tell me how your lawsuit comes out though if it somehow survives being laughed out of the court room by a judge...

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    6. Lol, Alana,
      Replace BM with Ming and that is what i usually say to myself.

      -=M=-

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    7. Wow, that's low effort even for you. Be careful not to cut yourself on those witty and sharp edges you got going on there, Butthurt.

      Delete
    8. Doxxing huh?

      I actually had to look that one up. No, really. I never heard of it before. Oh well, a screwed up troll post is still a troll post. Especially since I still got a bunch of juicy posts from you guys. Besides, this is about the closest to an apology that you will get out of me.

      Delete
    9. Butthurt Miner fails again!!

      Delete
    10. never heard of doxxing? sorry, are you new to the internet or something?

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    11. Look i'm a lawyer both in game and RL... In Fact, I don't distinguish between the two. That's why I favor buffing Concord to become exactly like the police state that is the USA. The only people that should run the USA is the Tea Party and Scott Walker and we need exactly the same political movement in Eve, one that ignores the facts and teaches God in school.

      Delete
  8. His prior loss to this was i awoxed his orca and alts mack and pods. Over 1.4 billion isk. Lol the idiot was at war with FA at the time too. Total idiot

    Orca
    https://zkillboard.com/kill/47460860/

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    Replies
    1. Lol :)
      He had Command Processor fitted; on Orca; with only two actual links :)

      You did good by erasing this monstrosity from existence.

      Delete
  9. Allesdair Crendraven: i only asked you to demonstrate your authority
    Kalorned: https://zkillboard.com/kill/47562613/

    Remember, wannabe space-lawyers, your rights end in optimal + 2*falloff.

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  10. Allesdair knew about CODE but not who Kalorned was...that sounds rather unbelievable.

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