Monday, July 6, 2015

The Rise of the Space Neocons, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet was recruited to join PwnySquad, a highsec PvE corp led by koiso Phoenix. Lured by the promise of an expertly managed ore buyback program, koiso promoted TheInternet to director and began showering him with free money and ships. TheInternet returned the favor by introducing koiso to some friends from Pandemic Legion.

The PL recruiters agreed to make PwnySquad into a PL feeder corp and give them free space in nullsec. After koiso transferred all of her assets to TheInternet to be shipped out to nullsec, it turned out the whole thing was a scam engineered by CODE. koiso lost everything.


The next day, koiso had a new bio. Apparently she had done some reading on the New Order and its Code. Did koiso also read about TheInternet's past adventures on MinerBumping?
koiso Phoenix > TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet you alive
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > o/ hey man
koiso Phoenix > you in rens
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > havent come back from Jita yet, why?
koiso Phoenix > well make your way back this way ok
As soon as TheInternet got online, koiso wanted to meet with him. He got a bad vibe from koiso; it felt like he was being summoned to the principal's office.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > alright on my way
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > uhm did you change my roles in corp
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > i was trying to look up a price of one of my transactions and I couldnt see the corp wallet
koiso hadn't bothered doing a background check on TheInternet during the recruitment process, but now koiso was suspicious. She'd be crazy not to, after having lost all of her assets in the "PL" scam.
koiso Phoenix > no why
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > i can see it now, weird
koiso Phoenix > can you fly a mining barge?
koiso Phoenix > or exhummer
...Or not. It was just another ordinary day in PwnySquad.
koiso Phoenix > can you fly the orca
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > l'm still training for it on this char but I can on my other char
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I can fly all freigghters though
koiso Phoenix > well give me the orca back then
koiso Phoenix > but that should get you some of your shit back
Out of nowhere, koiso gave TheInternet an Orca, a Bowhead, and two billion isk. After all, TheInternet claimed he'd lost his assets during the PL scam, too. But where did koiso get all the money she was throwing around now?
koiso Phoenix > i would like to start mining again
koiso Phoenix > need to start making ships and stuff so we can get a pos up and running
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > we will need to get another POS bought. ugh
koiso Phoenix > i will be mining
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > kk I think I'm going to head back to Jita and buy a frieghter
koiso Phoenix > dont spend it all in one place... still need to collect pos stuff and BPC
TheInternet was afraid koiso had gotten herself a PLEX addiction. For now, though, he put those fears aside. In the wake of the PL debacle, PwnySquad needed to be rebuilt from scratch.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > We can't exactly deploy the POS without a freighter at this point
koiso Phoenix > you back anchor a pos from a frieghter?
koiso Phoenix > has to be hual out in a bualer or orca
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > nah freighter will do it
koiso Phoenix > trust me you cant do it from a freighter
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > we need the freighter for ore buyback too
koiso Phoenix > ok its your money do with it what you will
TheInternet convinced koiso that he needed to buy yet another freighter using PwnySquad funds.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > hmm I'm thinking that it might be a good idea to be just a bit closer to Jita
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Where I originally had set up my buyback in my last corp was a prime location
koiso Phoenix > no i want it out here for a reason
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > why?
koiso Phoenix > safer then jita space thats highly patroled by the CODE ASSHOLES
koiso generally took all of TheInternet's advice, but there were some things koiso felt strongly about now. She'd developed a phobia of New Order Agents. TheInternet could only cringe when hearing the slur against CODEdot's brave Knights.
koiso Phoenix > ok can you buy a months worth of fuel
koiso Phoenix > what about guns and refinarys silos maintance bay meduim ships assimbly
koiso Phoenix > do you have the fund to get all that and fuel ?
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > if you want anything else bought just list the items for me?
koiso Phoenix > just need bpc
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > okay I can cover the fuel, but I'll need ISK for the POS and starbase charters
Since TheInternet had bought himself another freighter instead of POS materials, he needed additional corp funds.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > about 400m, the site's estimate might be a bit off
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I'm talking to a potential recruit btw
koiso Phoenix > ok
koiso Phoenix > im going to bed when you finish buy pos stuffhual it to Osoggur and hold on to it dont put anything in space untill tomarrow ok
Another busy day for koiso came to a close. TheInternet, however, would stay up late to do some recruiting.
Kleptain > wow
Kleptain > what a cool corp
Kleptain > I cant wait to mine all the rockjs
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Mining is the best way to make income
koiso Phoenix > Kleptain o/
koiso Phoenix > Kurisa Ongrard o/
koiso Phoenix > welcome to the pwnys
When koiso awoke the next morning, she was delighted to see that TheInternet's efforts had paid off. Two new pilots joined the corp. TheInternet was able to vouch for both of these gentlemen, so no background checks or APIs were needed.
Kurisa Ongrard > hi guys
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > did you say you can fly an Orca?
Kurisa Ongrard > Ive been around the block a few times
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > nice we need some help getting the POS anchored tonight
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > alright cool I think the Orca is in Rens iirc
koiso Phoenix > yes if you can fly an ocra the corp will provide one for you to use
Even better, the new recruits were able to fly expensive industrial ships! Sadly, they didn't possess any ships of their own. They would need to rely on the corp to provide them.
Kurisa Ongrard > great - I can fly one I just dont have a lot of isk right now
koiso Phoenix > we will also provide iskies for the fitting
Kurisa Ongrard > I can put 30m up on collatoral if you want
koiso Phoenix > lol it no worry if you steal it i'll have another one :) i try to trust ppl
Kurisa Ongrard > haha, cool
koiso Phoenix > this corp is going to need strong leadership and good ppl so everything will work out :P

koiso began transferring ships and isk to the newest members of PwnySquad. And it wouldn't be long before they proved their worth.

To be continued...

72 comments:

  1. THE CODE ALWAYS WINS!!! ALWAYS!!!!

    inb4 butthurt miner pens another essay

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. His last post was amazing. After the 12th paragraph, I started getting light-headed, and had to stop and set up a base camp to rest while the Sherpas went ahead to scout out the rest of the post. But after a long nap and some serious re-hydration, I was able to push through and finish my ascent. I don’t know that I’ve ever been more proud of myself.

      Delete
    2. I feel like I never came back down from that mountain. Like I'm still up there, my only company the whistling of the wind.

      Can you hear it?

      Delete
  2. Boring. Bored to tears. Who cares. Mining is boring. Code participating in mining ops and moving and buying stuff. oooooooooo. not!

    BORING.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. children don't have any attention span

      Delete
    2. @Anon11:03
      I would beg to differ. This "child" that keeps on complaining that it is "bored" certainly seems like it's right on point! It can't stop paying attention to the New Order!

      Delete
  3. I have a good feeling about those new recruits. Especially that 'Kleptain' one. Kleptain.

    I might call it 'mounting excitement', were it not for the explosion of ribaldry that would probably ensue in the comments section.

    So instead I'll call it 'glorious anticipation'. There, that fixed it.

    Well done, Saviour, a masterfully scripted narrative!

    ReplyDelete
  4. CODE should be in jail... this is pure scamming which is illegal in every country in the world

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You again?!? Extra boring.

      Delete
    2. i can't tell if that is fake veers or butthurt veers.

      Delete
    3. Both equal parts boring.

      Delete
  5. Be a reflection of what you would like to receive.
    If you give love, you will get love.
    If you give truth, you will get truth.
    What you give out will always return.
    Course, if you do like code, well you will get hate, distrust, and dislike.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well said, and the stupid code monkeys wonder why they run into it...or mabye it is just an act to get people more upset when the code monkeys cerebrally anally invert themselves in local...I guess that is why the code monkeys seem to be so cerebrally challenged...they are anally inverted...

      Delete
    2. Miners, please calm down. We still have Mining Permits. They are not sold out.

      Would you like to buy a Mining Permit™?

      Delete
    3. Cerebral-anal implant +3.I think that can be bought in Jita.

      Delete
    4. Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.

      Robot Robot

      Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.

      Robot Robot

      Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down.

      Delete
    5. NIghttime Video, please stop being boring.

      Delete
    6. @ 10:48 @1:16

      Miners I'm going to have to ask you to please calm down.

      Delete
    7. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

      Delete
    8. @10:18PM

      your post....it needs.... more ellipsis.... to connect..... your thoughts..... in some type of.... logical order......

      Delete
  6. Is it just me or is this the worst minerbumping story ever. It's just boring.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perfect example of a bot ^^^
      Take note code, the bots are within your group

      Delete
  7. What does this story and the Gallente Federation have in common?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Miner, I really need you to calm down.

      Delete
    2. You ruined a perfectly good joke.

      Boring!

      Delete
  8. They both DRONE on and on...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Miner, this will go better for all of us if you just calm down.

      Delete
    2. Hehe. I support your comedic aspirations.

      Delete
    3. Thank you. :)

      Delete
  9. Someone please gank the author for bot-aspirancy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Miner, Would you like to buy a Mining Permit™ to help you calm down?

      Delete
    2. Nitetime Video, your killing me here. Ganking is far more fun. Now you've gone too far!

      Death by Boring!!!

      Delete
  10. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down.

    Code bot. Must gank. ha ha ha ha.

    Miners, please calm down.Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down. Miners, please calm down..

    Code bot Code bot

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hello, would you like to take a moment to talk about Jesus Christ?

      Delete
    2. Holy reverend, please calm down.

      Delete
    3. Calm down, boring.

      Delete
    4. Thank you for your support of the New Order and this site, and for reminding the miners to calm down.

      Also miner, we're really going to have to ask you to just take a second and calm down.

      Delete
  11. I'm calm. And this story is still boring.

    ReplyDelete
  12. sigh. this koiso guy just seems to be to nice for the world he plays in.
    i hardly feel any sympathy with the stupid, but this dude just makes it very hard for me to stay rational.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Dearest lord of High Sec, James 315, sacred be thy ganks. Forgive us our trespasses lord with thy holy permits, or with thy cleansing fire of Void S, oh lord.

    We ask that you bless our unfortunate cousins the Brave Newbies that they might find there way to your ranks or to the ranks of our brothers in Karma Fleet, which as we all know, is recruiting.

    We ask that you bless thine enemies the anti-gankers that they might follow the path of the Gorila into thy shiny bosom. He was lost lord, but now he has been found.

    Help AG to remember that the Code always wins, always. And that they are failing 24 - 7 and raging lord. Yeah raging in their top secret channel. Help them lord unlock the code in their hearts.

    Bless the miners lord that they might remain calm. Forgive them father for they know not that they are AFK.

    We, your followers, come to you today lord, hand in hand, with a special prayer, that you might bless us with patience and with understanding. Help us lord be patient in our times of trial and tribulation. We know not why you try us lord but we know it is for our own good.

    Help us lord, but most especially, bless part 5 of this story that it might be less...

    boring.

    For thine is the glory in High Sec Forever.

    Amen

    ReplyDelete
  14. Knock, knock...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ok, dude, seriously. Are you trying to troll or what? We can at least understand the logic of "Meh, seems made up."

      But this? What's the point?

      Delete
    2. I know right. It's gotten boring. Just like this story.

      Scratch my eyes out, head banging my keyboard, boring.

      Delete
    3. Please keep scratching your eyes, out and banging your head against your keyboard. Maybe when it starts to hurt, you will buy a permit like we've been telling you to do all along. Then maybe you'd understand the greatness that is CODE.

      But we also understand that you will probably keep banging your head on your keyboard like, well, a miner. At least banging your head on your keyboard will prevent you from playing, only to waste your life.

      Delete
    4. Ming does not seem to know where to put his comas when he writes.
      Read the first line above and see his misplaced comas.
      A true sign of a lazy carebear.

      Delete
    5. @Anon6:03
      Yawn. This Anon is literally putting me into a coma with its stupid critiques of things that don't matter.

      Delete
  15. A very sad day. I used to come here and read talented inspired narrative. I was visiting daily for good reads to entertain. Sadly that seems to have faded away. I now come on once a week or so and HOPE to get some talented narrative. It is a fading venture here and sad to say guys I think you have rode a good horse to the ground. Makes me a sad panda, but hopefully J3 will come up with something soon so that this whole thing will not just implode from the sheer boredom and predictability of all of the Code activities now that the new has worn off.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You could just write your own blog if you are bored with ours. You could even try *gasp* creating your own content.

      Delete
    2. Nitetime Video, this is your story I assume. Hope you don't mind the constructive criticism. This story IS boring. Please meet with your fellow writers and come up with some better ideas.

      Delete
  16. All they seem to do is gank freighter in Uedama and Niarja, there seems to be a lot of Isk in that...they have succumbed to the greed that they vilify the Carebear for...kind of ironic, isn't it???

    ReplyDelete
  17. Even more ironic is the fact that in order to post anonymously I have to prove to Blogger that I am not a robot.

    Could the author do the same? I swear I read this same article 2 weeks ago.

    Old content isn't content. It's time to brainstorm and come up with something new guys.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Something new??? Saving highsec from carebears via awox or antimatter will NEVER go out of style!

      Delete
    2. Shooting barges, exhumers, industrials and freighters like the new order does takes no skill and is for lazy people, code monkeys fit that bill to a T...

      Delete
    3. Revis. You look boring. And you never stick around and fight, just go running with your tail between your legs. You're a scrugg. Even compared to your fellow Code monkeys. A fanboy if there ever was one.

      Maybe YOU could do something. That would be new. Then maybe his hole-iness might write an article about you!

      Gosh, you even LOOK boring.

      Delete
    4. Did I mention that you look boring?

      Delete
    5. Has it mentioned to you that miners, such as yourself, regularly try very hard to push a certain type of narrative?

      For example, take "Code Monkey," and "Buffoon," which are two of the regular insults that one particularly butthurt anon continues to attempt to force on the regular Minerbumping.com reading community like some kind of sick rapist.

      "Boring" is another attempt to discredit the saviour, and yes, it comes across as heavy handed, desperate, and "rapey."

      Maybe it should throw some elipses in there for good measure.

      Delete
    6. if you're bored why keep reading and commenting? Oh that's right, because it's just another lame troll. keep trying guys!

      Delete
    7. Ming, please point at at the doll where the Anti-Ganker hurt you.... ... ... :D

      Delete
    8. ming, go back to sleep...

      Delete
  18. lol at people who are bored with legend-tier scamming as though they:

    1) never thought of the possibility of making a big EVE heist of their own one day, and
    2) are able to come up with their own effective scams and properly execute them for untold of immediate profits that would make even the most noble incursion runner pee just a little bit.

    I can't wait to read interesting stories in EVE about people other than me!

    ReplyDelete

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