Friday, July 3, 2015

The Rise of the Space Neocons, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet became a director of PwnySquad, a highsec PvE corp. Its leader, koiso Phoenix, was subjected to a series of secret tests by TheInternet. koiso gave TheInternet a Bowhead and an Orca, and allowed him to withdraw cash to pay for mercs. The mercenaries were essential, as TheInternet had also arranged for a New Order corp to wardec PwnySquad.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > might be smart to go heavy on defensive mods and then adjust down as safety permits
koiso Phoenix > theinterenet you pvp any in your time playing eve
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > yeah a bit
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > couple of cool stories I could tell you lol
The corp needed to get ready for the coming storm. TheInternet was put in charge of preparing wartime defenses. koiso wanted everyone to stay docked up for the week, but TheInternet convinced her that they needed a well-armed POS.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > X-Large Ship Maintenance Array is ours
koiso Phoenix > cant achore that in high sec
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > ah crap
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Ill sell it
TheInternet withdrew corp funds for the POS and its modules. Due to an oversight, he accidentally spent 750 million of PwnySquad's isk on a module that couldn't be anchored in highsec.

Luckily, TheInternet was able to recoup 670 million isk by re-selling it in Jita. These funds were not returned to the corp.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Alright good news, my merc contact said he will make the war go away
koiso Phoenix > what this favor going to cost us
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > 500m to cover any potential war expenses since it could be protracted
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > he says he can probably get a surrender though because these guys aren't very powerful and can't afford to screw with him
It's always nice to have friends in high places. TheInternet came through yet again: His contacts were powerful PvP'ers. They would make highsec safe for PwnySquad once more.

koiso Phoenix > wow your freind pay off they surrendered
koiso Phoenix > i could kiss you :P
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > i guess these guys have alts in PL lol
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I'm talking to them in their teamspeak
Immediately, the wardec went away. Peace in our time, just as TheInternet had promised.
koiso Phoenix > i guess so now what do we owe them
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > idk but they're asking about our corp and what we're going to be doing and stuff
koiso Phoenix > manufacture ships and mine ore and bCO and BCC
koiso Phoenix > if you want i could talk to them
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > yeah they said come on
koiso was invited to join the TeamSpeak conference with TheInternet's allies. Though koiso didn't know it, they were in fact TheInternet's fellow Space Neocons, Agents Kalorned and Gerry Rin. They told koiso about a very special opportunity available for high-quality industrial corps like PwnySquad. The next day, koiso went to the public PwnySquad channel and told one of her random friends about it:
Hellvetica Agora > what are you guys doing?
koiso Phoenix > o/
koiso Phoenix > we moving to nullsec for mining, industrial
Hellvetica Agora > your going to rent?
koiso Phoenix > no free ride
koiso Phoenix > were going to be a feeder corp
PwnySquad had moved up in the world. One day they were planning to stay docked up because of a wardec. Now, anything seemed possible.
Hellvetica Agora > wow how did you manage that?
koiso Phoenix > TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet <--- this guy lol
koiso Phoenix > hes friends with PL
Hellvetica Agora > pandemic legion?
koiso Phoenix > yea
It was almost good to be true: koiso was the leader of Pandemic Legion's next feeder corp.
koiso Phoenix > you more then welcome to come out i could use another experance guy
Hellvetica Agora > na i dont f with 0.0
Hellvetica Agora > ive been out ther so many times its just not fun
Hellvetica Agora > ill give you advice but im not going out there
Hellvetica Agora > you want bpcs ill get you them
Hellvetica Agora > but my ass stays in highsec
koiso offered to share her good fortune with her old friend. He politely declined. Like most highsec dwellers, Hellvetica, a 2009 character, was deathly afraid of nullsec. He wouldn't dare set foot outside empire space.

There was a lot of work involved with PwnySquad's big move to nullsec. TheInternet agreed to act as the project coordinator. His task was to transfer all of the corp and corp members' assets to his friends in Pandemic Legion, who would safely escort it to the staging area in nullsec. TheInternet met with koiso and her CEO alt in Jita and other stations where assets were stored. All ships and equipment were handed over to TheInternet in a series of direct trades.

Next, TheInternet and koiso joined their PL contacts on TeamSpeak. koiso was instructed to go to a planet in the Gamis system, where a container would be waiting for her with further instructions. It was all very cloak and dagger.

...Emphasis on the dagger. The container had a bookmark inside which declared that the whole "PL feeder corp" thing was a big scam, and that all of koiso's assets were lost forever. While koiso was sitting at the container, one of Kalorned's gank alts arrived to gank and pod koiso for unspecified Code violations. This was the Gamis system, after all.

And so it was that koiso learned that she had been scammed of all her possessions.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > sorry man this is my fault
koiso Phoenix > its not a big deal
koiso Phoenix > if you want to save face just log off there TS dont give them anymore
koiso Phoenix > im off to bed i'll talk to you tomarrow
...However, no one ever told koiso that TheInternet was in on the scam. He claimed he had sent all of the assets to the "Pandemic Legion" contacts and knew nothing about their sinister intentions. TheInternet remained koiso's most trusted advisor. If PwnySquad corp was to be recover from this disaster, koiso would need his help.

To be continued...


  1. Join the winning team! Become a New Order Agent™ today!

    Praise John!

  2. This carebear CEO is just fail after fail after fail. Which is typical of carebear CEOs.

  3. I almost feel bad for this moron... almost.

    1. I guess i should feel bad for him, but i am loling to hard to really care ;)

  4. Knock, knock...

  5. this is really pathetic...a new low even for code...loyalanon has turned the group into a circus act

  6. Once again, I have to reiterate a previous post:

    This is a public service announcement.

    If you are the CEO of a highsec corporation, then there are a few rules that you need to follow:

    1. Do not add anyone to the corp roster until they have been verified with their API.
    2. Turn friendly fire off. I know it's hard, but come on, I know you can do it.
    3. Read Miner Bumping to gather a list of known code agents, scammers, etc....
    4. Charge no more than a 5% tax. Charging 10%, 11% or more is too much so you had better give something good in return. NPC corps charge 11%.
    5. Don't give people director level access within the first hours. Wait a few months and make sure that you know the person, in real life. Meet them in person, know their real name, address, phone number, place of work, etc....
    6. If someone want's to borrow a corporate asset, don't just give it to them. Make sure they put up collateral in case they run off with it.
    7. Do not have permissive corp hanger access...especially for new people in the corp. That's just asking for thieves to come in and raid you.
    9. Regardless of what idiots like code says, you do not have to follow the code, you do not have to buy a permit to operate in highsec.
    10. The empires rule highsec and lowsec and nobody else. Therefore anyone who claims to own space in highsec or lowsec is either a blathering idiot or they are trying to scam you.
    11. And above all and perhaps the most important rule of them all: "TRUST NO ONE"

    Follow these rules and you cannot be scammed or cheated by code or any other miscreant.

    Although similar to my previous post, I added some new rules. Code members are scociopathological and egotistical morons who seem to believe their own propaganda. They delight in causing pain for those whom they deem beneath them. Similar to how islamic terrorists treat people with their "convert or die" mentality.

    1. LOL.

      You certainly have some issues... and tears. Which I find absolutely amazing considering they are over a game. I'll give you some free advice son, if your getting this butthurt over a video game, I would suggest you find another hobby, maybe something a little more age appropriate for you, since you seem not to be able to handle the sandbox which is EVE.

      Don't be embarrassed. EVE is a difficult game and interacting with the many people which play this game can make it hard for those that like to hide alone, in their basements, avoiding people.

    2. "son" - how demeaning...what's next, "boy," "child", "mongrol?"

    3. Scociopatholigical...

      The closest thing I can come to is Nova Scotia. Is it a Canadian reference?

    4. Apparently the best way to disseminate information to the carebear masses is by posting it on the minerbumping blog.


    5. Careful, Alana. Try not to use any big words. Carebears like BM are having enough trouble with them as it is.

    6. None of that will stop a spy. What would you do with a real life address, telephone number and place of work anyway? Please don't answer you'll make yourself look stupid at best, psychotic at worse.

      Do you really want to know the best way to prevent spies and awoxers being a threat?

      Are you sure?

      I'm not certain you could handle the truth, let alone use it.

      Oh well.

      Let them in. Show them a good time. Enjoy the game, share it with them, be a content creator. Give corp members what they need to play at their best in order to enjoy this clickety snooze fest of a game.

      If you're not a content creator you have no business whatsoever being a CEO in Eve Online anywhere in any form. Not even a director. Is this harsh? Nope - if you're not there for your members, then even people who aren't spies get bored and imagine what they can do when they meet a better organised content creator.

      Eve is a full time game, even if you're not a CEO. If you can't commit, don't put yourself in a role that requires the charismatic leading of players to glory, reward and/or fiery death.

      Yup even losing can be fun, as long as you recognize the mistakes and correct them for next time. A proactive approach will ensure you keep the same fleet numbers or even improve them.

      Good luck, but if this seem too much effort walk away now.

    7. Miner, we're really going to have to ask you to just calm down.

  7. Then, for starters colonel, try moving out of your basement...

    1. You do know this forum has a reply feature, don't you?

    2. LOL!

      Very witty Anon11:11. I'm absolutely stung and chastised by your remark... really, I am, scouts honour!

  8. You should have bought a New Order Mining Permit™ instead.

  9. This is kind of low Even for the new order.

  10. I wonder how much more stuff he has to lose before he loses his cool. Will we ever find out?

  11. Good on the New Order creating content for this guy.

  12. The first thing a cult does is claim that everyone else is lying to you.
    The second thing a cult does is lie to you.
    Sound like Code?

    1. Sounds like the hisec militia. What a load o bull there


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