Monday, July 20, 2015

I Wasn't AFK, I Was Just...

Highsec carebears always have an excuse for AFK mining.


Usually, the miner's given excuse is intended to paint the miner in a positive light. According to Vaneslya's logic, being a good husband requires him to violate the Code.


Then there are the miners who claim that they were at their keyboard, but for whatever reason couldn't respond to an Agent in local chat. But look closely--Malledon Baur must have shifted his focus away from EVE in order to launch his anti-virus program. So he was guilty anyway, and karma caught up to him.


Some miners' excuses only raise more questions. For instance, Ninja Dougie says he "got up to take a piss" but wasn't AFK. Does that mean he was urinating while standing in front of his computer? Disgusting. Highsec, we can do better.


It's interesting how commonly "emergencies" occur during the exact same moment that a carebear gets ganked. But again, notice that Alpha BlackWolf seems very angry and upset about being ganked, rather than relieved that his daughter's medical emergency is over. It's in times of crisis that we realize what's truly important in life.


Father of the year, folks.


Now we come to ClawingBear RoundTree's EVEmail. It begins innocently enough.


So far, so good. ClawingBear was willing to pledge loyalty to me in his bio. (Side observation: Where can I get a copy of the EVE instruction manual this guy was reading when he got ganked?)


Another terrible coincidence! ClawingBear was killed during the few minutes that his bio was vulnerable to criticism. Bad luck struck again, as ClawingBear was podded while tending to his daughter, who has colic.

According to BabyCenter.com, "Colic is the term used to describe uncontrollable crying in an otherwise healthy baby."

I think I know some miners who suffer from this condition.

"If your baby is younger than 5 months old and cries for more than three hours in a row on three or more days a week for at least three weeks (phew!), he's considered colicky."

Then again, the symptoms have been observed in mining characters far older than 5 months.


Regardless, the CODE always wins. A miner couldn't be bothered to dock up before walking his dog (it must have been a dog-walking emergency). Nevertheless, he thanked our Agents for encouraging him to pursue a more rewarding EVE career.

Fair warning, though: You won't find many enemy fleets in nullsec who are willing to leave your ship alone while you go AFK to deal with family emergencies. The strange thing is that in a nullsec PvP context, this issue rarely comes up. Almost makes you wonder.

27 comments:

  1. The reasons carebears come up with for justifying their AFKness is absolutely riotous. "I WASNT AFK I WAS JUST TAKING A PISS"

    Man, unless you're pissing in your chair... you were AFK. The Savior said it best, "Disgusting."

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  2. If it were truly an emergency, then he wouldn't be butthurt over losing an imaginary spaceship. Carebears will lie through their teeth to try and get away with murder.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's what I'm saying. If it's truly an emergency, such as your wife lying on the ground, then who cares if your internet spaceship gets blown up?! Go take care of your wife and take your enforcement like a man, and be proud that your priorities are in such an order. Don't come back and whine at the police officer- as if you were lying about your wife being passed out on the ground just so you could get out of trouble from violating the established law of Highsec.

      Delete
    2. It's pretty disgusting that the only thing they can think to say to excuse their AFKness is that a family member needed urgent medical related help.

      I don't believe in karma or any of that stuff but it feels like such a horrible thing to even suggest as an excuse.

      Delete
    3. And the new order lies through it's teeth to control highsec, alana...

      Delete
    4. people lying about being afk and you say the NO is lying? you're as blind as those damn LIBTARDS who voted for Hitler Obama

      Delete
    5. @Anon10:36
      At least now you admit that we control Highsec.
      As you see, your repeated interaction with the New Order is helping you see the Truth of the Code.

      Delete
    6. No, that was not and admission, but a statement of what the new order does to get what they want, btw, you fail at controlling Highsec...

      Delete
    7. @Anon6:19
      And yet, we do whatever we want and nobody can stop us.

      And you basically said "The New Order [does something] to control highsec"
      And we do. That, indeed, by your admission, we do that.

      Delete
  3. "Another terrible coincidence! ClawingBear was killed during the few minutes that his bio was vulnerable to criticism. Bad luck struck again, as ClawingBear was podded while tending to his daughter, who has colic.

    According to BabyCenter.com, "Colic is the term used to describe uncontrollable crying in an otherwise healthy baby."

    I think I know some miners who suffer from this condition.

    "If your baby is younger than 5 months old and cries for more than three hours in a row on three or more days a week for at least three weeks (phew!), he's considered colicky."

    Then again, the symptoms have been observed in mining characters far older than 5 months."

    LOOOL

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  4. If you want to AFK do it in Panorad.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Crying in game is the same as crying IRL... In fact anything you do in game reflects how you are IRL. gankers=criminals. miners=whiners, and shitposters=shitposters

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    Replies
    1. Colicky veers belvar, calm down!

      Delete
  6. Based on some interactions I have had, I have suspected that there were some miners urinating on their keyboards. I had hoped I was wrong.

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  7. but where was anti-ganking to save the AFK?

    LOL

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    Replies
    1. They must have been walking their dog to the hospital for an emergency

      Delete
  8. Why is it not okay to do afk? we pay for our subscripton so should be able to play how we want? does the ccp enforcw this paymenyt plan for permnits? is this not against the law of the game? somebody preobbaly shoudl check!

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    Replies
    1. Somebody probably should spell check...

      Delete
    2. Also The New Order who owns the site you are reading right now, are the official authorities in Highsec.

      You are not allowed to AFK because James 315, the Supreme Protector and Saviour Of Highsec, said you should not, and we, the Agents of the New Order, are prepared to delete any ships that violate this edict.

      As for legitimacy, Nobody less than CCP has sanctioned the New Halaima Code of Conduct as the official ruling document of Highsec. This establishes our authority to sell New Order Mining Permits, and outlines the behaviours by which these permits may be revoked and subject the bearer to termination.

      Delete
    3. Proof that CCP has sanctioned that document, or it didn't happen...

      Delete
    4. They can't give any proof that CCP sanction them and never will as its part of the Eve Mechanics and CCP wont do anything about it being a Open Sandbox game so either learn to fight back or out tank them i personally do both and Now these guys cant touch my Hulks with a 4 man assault so they don't bother with me anymore when their in system .

      At most they'll just wrap in wave and bump my ships now

      Delete
    5. Yep you're perfectly within your rights to go AFK in space, and agents are perfectly within their right to remove you from space.

      Delete
    6. @Anon3:01
      CCP Falcon officially sanctioned CODE.'s actions in this thread, but instead of directly linking you, I shall instead direct you to the Minerbumping.com post that illuminates said thread, and you can go from there to get the "raw" proof if you wish.

      This is in accordance to the idea that miners should have to work for their satisfaction, the same as everyone else does.

      Falcon Punch: CCP Fights for its Soul

      Delete
    7. That only sanctions suicide ganking, not claiming ownership of Highsec...the new order does nt own Highsec, and they are not the law either...

      Delete
    8. @Anon7:25
      Let everyone note for the record that the miner has recieved the proof it asked for, and yet it still does not comprehend how the New Order could own Highsec.

      Delete
  9. "Your reply from this point defines my next move". OOOOOH I hope there's a future post about this dangerous orca pilot ClawingBear RoundTree. Sounds like a bad Chinese movie.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'd like to add that, if colic symptoms persist or even re-occur in later life, it could be a sign of a much more serious condition. I believe it is entirely possible that these people are indeed unwell (perhaps veldspar fume induced).
    There is no such thing as coincidence, the shear amount of afk miners who find themselves in emergency situations so frequently tells us that the ailment is not contained within the world that you people are trying to protect. I believe that these fumes have an effect across dimensions of reality.
    Mining destroyed Jovian sanity, keep up the fight, do not let it take ours as well.
    Live by the code

    ReplyDelete

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