Wednesday, January 13, 2016

A Calming Influence, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Tisiphone Dira was too experienced an Agent to be surprised by the number of gank recipients who were suffering from problems unrelated to EVE. After all, the Code filters out all the Gallants, leaving only Goofuses to be ganked. Tisiphone's latest project was Thee Goat, who ineffectually added his 5% damage to one of her gank Vexors. Thee Goat declared a victory for Anti-Ganking.

By cross-referencing corp names, the crafty Agent deduced that Thee Goat was connected to one of Tisiphone's earlier kills.

Thee Goat's revenge was not going to be another one of those short-lived vendettas we see from gank victims who make a few idle threats and leave. From now on, Thee Goat would shadow Tisiphone's every move, making her gank operations impossible.

Then again, maybe not.

As time went on, Tisiphone began to doubt the qualifications of her aspiring arch-nemesis.

A few minutes later, Thee Goat admitted that his actions were indeed motivated by the loss of the Prowler.

Thee Goat's campaign to stop Tisiphone Dira only lasted a few more minutes. Carebears can only think about vengeance for so long before the siren song of isk-grinding lures them away.

firegod311666's decision to autopilot in a Leopard resulted in the loss of yet another member of the increasingly endangered species of shuttle. There are still plenty for sale, but it's hard to believe that there used to be one for every EVE player.

From the outset, Tisiphone could tell that firegod311666 lacked maturity. Now that he was back at his keyboard, she could help him. The New Order to the rescue!

The carebear added some variation of "lmfao" to most of his comments, but Tisiphone could tell he was hurting. In a Code-compliant context, humor is a source of great fun and even wisdom. But a carebear's sense of humor often comes from a place of deep pain, even anger.

Surely this wasn't what CCP had in mind when they created the private convo system.

So far, firegod311666 wasn't making any real-life death threats. He fell squarely within the "normal" classification for anti-Code folks.

Slowly but surely, the carebear inched his way out of the normal range.

It's a tough thing, but there are times when our Agents almost wish that the carebears remained away from their keyboards.

At the conclusion of their talk, Tisiphone felt that only slight progress had been made, if any. firegod311666 still had a lot of growing up to do. On the plus side, he'd been punished for his Code violation and had been exposed to a great role model in Tisiphone Dira. Who knows? In a few years he might be a model Agent of the New Order.


  1. Why are these antiganker types so salty and toxic?

    1. cuz you blewn them up! Duh!

    2. I have four more days on my catalyst train. :)

    3. ... Is it because they, being Anti-Gankers, lose DAILY to CODE.?

  2. Tisiphone is right, CHODE. "agents" are not sheep. They are puppets, strung along by their puppet master Jamey315.

    And as for the negative connotation surrounding "isk-grinding", how is that any worse the Jamey begging for isk via donations?

    1. But he doesn't beg. People throw money at him without being asked.

    2. I remember when Tisi was in CODE. She had the title "the Right Hand of James" and pretty much owned me in corp chat whenever we were both on. Tisi almost got me to accept thrasher gankers in general and the Hek solar system in particular.


      Anyway, great work NPC ganking alt!!!


    3. oh look, it's chode anon again. he is my favorite of the whineanons. i can just hear him sitting in his big boy chair chanting chode chode chode chode, all downsy n'shit. eyes looking in 2 different directions like some kind of human/iguana hybrid.

      drooling and rocking back and forth as he recounts the recent loss of his shit fit retriever, and the panic attack that griped him as his ship disappeared. frozen like a deer in the headlights, only too late does he realize that he shoulda been spamming warp, only now there's a point on his +4 implant and augment laden pod. pop!

      chode chode chode chode... can you hear it?



    5. Calm down, anonymous CHODE. agents.

    6. This angry anon guy is growing on me quick.


  3. @ any crying carebear

    Have you paid an Agent of The New Order for all this content we've created for you yet? If you haven't, it's like stealing. Where's the honor in that?

  4. I love it when a carebear goes into meltdown and they just start spewing drivel. It's like they've blown a fuse in their speech centre.

  5. Hahaha! "Are you resorting to imitating me like a kindergartner?"

    That's how I feel about some of these "Loser" carebears all the time, with their imho "uninspired" comebacks!


Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.