Saturday, January 23, 2016

The Best Newbies in the Game

When people discuss EVE and game design philosophy, there's a lot of talk about newbies, the new player experience, etc. It's the EVE equivalent of, "Won't somebody please think of the children?!" It's empty rhetoric. But that opens the question of which new players are actually worth thinking about and catering to.

You might assume that the Venture pilot was the newbie in this equation. Actually, it was Sigrid Freud. The ganker and Agent of the New Order was brand new to the game.

...And when I say "new", I don't mean the mining in highsec for 3 years kinda new. Sigrid was only a few hours into the game before she scored her first kill. Nor was she someone's gank alt. Sigrid was a genuinely new EVE player recruited into the game by Agent Ilithyia Borgia.

Sage advice. The New Order and MinerBumping don't merely attract new players into the game; we show them how to play in a way that doesn't make them want to quit by the end of their trial period.

Now for that Ishkur that Ilithyia mentioned. Several days later, Sigrid joined Ilithyia and Agent Mal Warre on a gank of a blingy Ishkur worth over half a billion isk. Had Sigrid joined EVE with a carebear career path, she'd still be training mining skills. Instead, she helped add content to highsec.
Miha Star > ?????
Miha Star > Sigrid Freud
Miha Star > Mal Warre
Miha Star > Ilithyia Borgia
Ilithyia Borgia > o/
Miha Star > ? ???? ????????
Itamo local chat suddenly got more interesting. The Ishkur pilot, Miha Star, was deeply confused. We know this because he lacked a permit, not because of all the question marks. The ?s actually represent Cyrillic characters that didn't get converted from Unicode.
Ilithyia Borgia > Sorry I do not speak Ukrainian
Miha Star > ??? ?????
Ilithyia Borgia > Yeah, still don't speak Ukrainian
Miha Star > The cunt is Russian
Ilithyia Borgia > That's what I said - russia is a Ukrainian province. Hence, you are speaking Ukrainian
Yes, Miha was a Russian. As Ilithyia knew, there's no faster way to teach a Russian how to speak English than calling them a Ukrainian.
Miha Star > I will damn you what for you it I have made a thorn tested
Ilithyia Borgia > What is a thorn tested?
Sigrid Freud > Kill: Miha Star (Ishkur) ouch
Miha Star > You simply deer
Now Miha was presented with a choice. He could join the New Order or make a fool of himself in local, which, in turn, would win more hearts and minds to the New Order.
revenge to miners > good
Ilithyia Borgia > ty
Miha Star > Ilithyia Borgia
Miha Star > Listen I on you I will write the petition in ??? if you will not return a part isk for my lost ship
Ilithyia Borgia > lmao
Ilithyia Borgia > Go ahead petition away
Miha chose the more painful option. What's the Russian term for "space lawyer"?
Miha Star > You will block the fan to suffer nonsense
Ilithyia Borgia > That makes no sens
Ilithyia Borgia > sense
Miha Star > Sense you have deprived of me unique earnings here and all sense to you
Ilithyia Borgia > You lost a fair fight - I expect a good fight in local
Everyone in the system could see which was the winning side. The community prepared to jump in:
Ilithyia Borgia > Anyway - have to eat lunch
Miha Star > If you on life a pig that you in game same
Cumulus McGoose > I'm guessing english is not your first language because your attempts to write it are pitiful
Cumulus McGoose > I'd put you out of your misery but it looks like Ilithyia Borgia already has
If Miha was trying to put together a "ban the New Order" movement, or even a "reimburse my ship" movement, he was clearly struggling.
Miha Star > In the first you have flown 3 players and did not offer fight and who from us fair
Cumulus McGoose > I'm not involved in this - just an observer
Cumulus McGoose > But ganking is an intended game mechanic so no point in arguing or petitioning it
Logan Tigan > Miha Star, you've been around the game long enough to know this is OPEN PVP... So quit bitching about it and just admit you got your ass kicked by someone that's played the game for less time than you...
Logan Tigan > and what Cumulus McGoose said....
Logan Tigan made an interesting point. Carebears can spend all the time in EVE that they want, but they'll still be pushovers for even the greenest recruit to the New Order. Experience, PLEX, skill point trading, new player experience... Forget all that stuff. The Code is everything.


  1. Antiganking failing INCREDIBLY hard.......AGAIN1!!!!

    1. Again?!?! Why do they even play?

  2. I love linking the viddy showing Scott Manley's 5 year old daughter blowing somebody up in lowsec.

    If a 5 year old girl can do it.......

    Mike Adoulin

    1. ...why can't code?

    2. @ 243
      Have you seen the CODE killboard? Dumb carebears, too stupid to look that shit up?
      The appropriate question for you to have asked was: "where can i purchase a permit to get my sorry carebear ass into compliance?"
      Or: "how can i help EvE, rather than help myself to you illegal ore?"
      One more: "why do carebears insist on trying to ruin EvE for real players?"

      All manner of relevant inquiries and you choose some shit question that shows your ignorance. Try harder, carebear filth.

      BTW, Scott's daughter was filmed killing miners in an icebelt. That's considered CODE activity by any carebear in hisec, so your question, it seems, is invalid.

      Maybe no one got offended when this carebear was put in its place? (Carebear filth dont count)

    3. Code killboard shows nothing in lowsec. Your argument is invalid. My question remains.

    4. Here's a question for yall: Why is angry ganker soooo angry? :P

    5. *Ahem*

      Hardly the only lowercase example. There also the hilarious one of I think Kalorned ganking someone for illegally "mining" a structure but I can't find that one.

    6. LOWSEC, phone, dammit!

    7. Hey anon that says no CODE kills in losec

      You are a wrong and whiney bitch, take your Faildo raine alt and gtfo our EvE.

    8. code kill in Lowsec.
      Anonbear question still invalid, much like ag.

    9. Wow there are hundreds of examples of CODE killing stuff in lowsec, stuff that can shoot back.

      The anonbear that said otherwise is obviously that stupid, i am going to say a bitch even.
      Like the rest of ag.

    10. The question is: why is Faildo Raine trying to help the very carebear bots that are detrimental to EvE? Faildo seems to be trying to help these carebears, help them mine for hours with no risk, help them pollute local chat with death threats and flawed logic, help them destroy the last great open sandbox.
      Shame on all the players that willingly bot mine and all those that support them, hisec failitia included.
      Act like a bot, sound like a bot, defend bots, must be a bitch.

      Kill All Hisec Miners. Always!

      If you are offended, EvE is not for you. It is for us, and we dont want you here.

    11. @349
      Please say you were trolling and not that stooopid!
      Wow, i knew carebears were a low IQ population, but just wow.

      Anti-Ganking at its best huh?

  3. Dammit EVE, stop that. I can't resub, I don't have time for you right now.


    1. We have freshly sqeezed crybear tears on tap. All you can carry, byob (bring your own bucket)
      You know you wanna.

    2. You can gank crybears and it only takes a few minutes, with a good scout out working. Join one of any two dozen gank fleets that are running nightly. Get a ping, log in for 2-5 minutes, gank a miner, pull concord. Log out.
      EvE still has room for the casual PvP'er.

      Be careful, i tried it that way, but soon found myself sticking around after the pull to experience the tears, then more ganks, then more tears....
      Well you get the picture
      Tears are a powerful drug, friend. Or i might be broken, depends on who you ask.

  4. Why are killboard 'statistics' so important to CHODE. members? Actually why are killboard 'statistics' important at all?

    And where does a 3.5 hour old character get the ISK to replace the ships from his ganking activity?

    1. for the second question, James reimburses all ganking ships, pretty much no questions asked unless the requests look suspicious in some way.

      The treasury literally has enough is to reimburse titans at this point. (If they were useful in hi sec.)

    2. @Anon4:30
      And if they were, you can bet, that the New Order would make excellent use of them!

      I can envision New Order Titans doomsdaying suspect freighters on gates; it is a glorious vision to behold!


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