Saturday, August 4, 2018

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #163

Kusion, you say? I'll look into it.

In the meantime, let's open a new edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag!

In-game x 2. You know, these miners would be much happier if they learned how to kill people's spaceships in-game. That way they wouldn't need to tell everyone to die.

The rebels love to accuse our Agents of bullying, harassment, and griefing. "If miners respond with anger, it's only because you drive them to it," they say. To which I reply:


Bane Grim lost a contract because he failed to purchase a 10 million isk mining permit. Cutting corners will always cost you in the long run.

Bruce Funaila was wrong on both counts, of course: The Code is forever, and ours is the finest content in the game.

Toby MacKubi called everyone in the New Order a sheep--and then he quit the game because he couldn't graze on asteroids in total safety. Actually, I think Toby would've enjoyed a sheep-based game a lot more than he enjoyed EVE.

Miners usually send tearmails to me via EVEmail, but Tagalong TheVagabond sent this message by regular e-mail:
For now I oppose your "order." However as a reasonable individual new to this game I was hoping to have a conversation with you so that I could understand your goals intentions and why I as a player who only plays 5-6 hours a week with no aspirations of omega status would offer you and your zealous followers an amount that presently exceeds my current total isk to purchase an indulgence. I have visited your website and have read the code as well as visiting other pages of the site.

Please avoid using language in your responses that indicates that "The people" there are obviously numerous people (including new players) who have never heard of "CODE" or had a choice in the matter. This of course makes such statements false and hollow. I am seeking logical answers from a meta perspective. Not answers stemming from an in game perspective.

I await your response in what I hope will be intelligent discourse. I will base whether I continue to engage in this game on your replies. As if a game is not fun it is not worth playing.

Tagalong the Vagabond

Please only respond in e-mail as I'll not be logging in until our discourse is finished or I uninstall.
Tagalong, you should purchase a mining permit because the Code requires it, and because it is the will of the people. Good luck in your next game.

I don't wish to split hairs, so I'll indulge Wolpe Umbras' argument. The ore in highsec is owned by no one until it is mined--at which point I own it. You still need a permit.

I'm sorry, but where's the contradiction?

As usual, the miner has it wrong. Our Agents don't have delusions of grandeur; they have grandeur. Have you ever seen a Code enforcer in action? It's a sight to behold. It's the reason they made EVE.

If I'd seen this EVEmail years earlier, we might be living in a world where is EVE's most popular blog.

Pavel Kozin wasn't sure which threat to use against our Agent. Part of him wanted to say, "I'll find out where you live IRL", and part of him wanted to say, "I'll report you to CCP." He threw the two threats into a blender, and this was the result.

This is a typical reimbursement request. Cory Koraka claims that if an Agent had asked him to, he would've voluntarily handed over the ore he mined. However, I'm confident that if we had the ability to create a parallel reality and put this to the test, Cory would've refused to hand over the ore. He would've challenged our Agent's authority and then insulted him. Can you believe the nerve of this guy? The gank was justified and Cory should apologize. Reimbursement denied.


  1. "where's the contradiction?" It's comedy gold like this that keeps me coming back to

    1. James, can we change the banner to "Miner Jostling" for a week?

    2. Miner jostling sounds like an esport.

      Im going for the gold medal.

      But it is just as fun as

      Keep your chained miners tight on the leesh.

  2. James is more witty these days than usual - if that is even possible.

  3. Far be it for me to dispute the word of The Saviour himself, however I have always considered the ore, rats, wrecks, barges, and even the miners own bio, to be entirely owned by James 315 - prior to a miner so much as logging in.

    In any case, this was an especially hilarious Grab Bag.


    1. Yes, far be it from you to dispute James. Silly miner. ;)

      When you gonna release that tutorial we been hearing so much about? Sounds interesting.

  4. "In-game x 2". Lololololol

  5. :]

    I giggled, but I almost missed it.

  6. Hey Toby MacKubi you shitter.

    GTFO miners, your kind aren't welcome in EVE. If you hadn't noticed...oh yea, you did. XD

    Go back to wow with apachreee and his ilk lol.

    All carebears deserve what they get. You can't die in highsec unless you allow it to happen. Oblivious idiots are always gonna die in EVE.


  7. "Alt 00 July 21, 2018 at 12:09 AM
    It is neither glitch, nor exploit. Fortuitously Alt 00, in her infinite compassion, is willing to teach you how to execute this manoeuvre."


  8. *Gasp*! I knew something was off about Kusion! I CALL FOR A TRIBUNAL!

  9. I do hope that apachreee shitter didn't go full shardani after his last miner-meltdown. Shitters like him have a hard time reconciling their personal hypocrisies after they lose their shit so publicly. Often the results are violent, and final. And cowardly.

    Hope his family is ok.


  10. "a sheep-based game"

    I bet it sells well in turbantown, and West Virginia! And whereever that apachreeefag lives.



  12. Meh seems made up


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