Sunday, May 3, 2020

Kills of the Week

A great debate rages among the bot-aspirant carebears of highsec. There are those who, though they realize that the Code is right and just, are as yet too weak and feeble of will to embrace it. And then there are the carebears who adamantly deny the Code. Let us put the latter to the test: Upon a fair review of these kills from the week of April 26th @ 00:00 EVEtime through May 2nd @ 23:59 EVEtime, is it not clear that the laws of nature itself demand an alternative to being a Goofus?

Enter Mutlu Palutli, also known as Goofus #1. Mutlu AFK'ed his way into Uedama in a triple-anti-tanked freighter worth over 18 billion isk. In so doing, he delivered himself to the Kusion family's home and left his possessions on their doorstep. Agents Sasha Shi, Jacob Kusion, Josh Kusion, Darth VaIdemar, Jeremy Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Jason Kusion, Jack Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Josiah Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Joshua Kusion, and Johnathan Kusion assembled a fleet of Catalysts, did the Code's business, and enjoyed a fine explosion--a typically splendid day in Uedama.

If at first you don't succeed, try something else! Corvus Sidus never learned this lesson--or anything else. Agents Pyro Regyri, Zane Arnolles, and Jana Grebb destroyed Corvus's 1.7 billion isk bling-Hulk and his 787 million isk pod. You'd think that would serve as a wake-up call even to the sleepiest of bot-aspirant miners. No, Corvus was too sleepy. Barely an hour later, Corvus resumed mining in the same system. He "downgraded" to a 760 million isk Mackinaw but splurged on 2.3 billion isk worth of implants--including a Michi's Excavation Augmentor. Naturally, our heroes returned to the system and took away Corvus's new stuff.

This, friends, is not what Rattlesnakes are for. Dantalian Lemegeton's battleship-freighter autopiloted into Niarja. This time it was the Rackner family's turn to get a nice package left on their doorstep. Agents eviserater Adoudel, Georgia Rackner, Jani Rackner, Ashlee Rackner, Rebecca Rackner, Yan Rackner, Charlotte Rackner, Celestia Rackner, Olivia Rackner, Kirra Rackner, Kimberly Rackner, Globby Rackner, Phoenix Rackner, Jemma Rackner, hegils, Emily Rackner, Ivy Rackner, Benji Rackner, Vladimir Puotin, and Adara Gaea showed Dantalian what PvP ships are supposed to do.

For whatever reason, many expensive pods went boom this week. Menya Mne lost a 3.7 billion isk pod to Agent Narl' Amhar, whose friends had just finished ganking Menya's 4.5 billion isk Vindicator. Which reminds me: A lot of expensive "combat" ships went boom this week, too.

Have another pod, then! Luke Reega managed to lose implants worth 6.7 billion isk. When your pod is this expensive, it's only a matter of time before you get featured on a Kills of the Week post. Agent Australian Excellence and his Tax Collector friends ganked Luke's 3.8 billion isk Bustard, enabling Australian to get to the really good stuff.

Ah, an Ascendancy set. Perfect for when you need to hurry through your warps so that you can get back to slow-boating on autopilot.

Anaxes Raheal's 7.2 billion isk pod lands on this week's KotW post with a thud. Anaxes was caught in a billion isk salvager Drekavac. He was either AFK or just plain groggy; Agent obgyn kANOBI had no trouble catching the carebear's pod.

And so Anaxes was sent back to Jita. One can only hope that he will not repeat his mistakes. This time, friend, why not purchase a nice Catalyst instead? It would go great with a 10 million isk New Order mining permit.


  1. Is this the new meta? Rattlesnakes are now haulers?

  2. Nice pods! What a bunch of williegreers and sethazzholies lul

  3. Natural Selection!

    Good job Agents!

  4. Praise James! Yet another great series of victories for the New Order! \o/



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