Highsec Miner Grab Bag #158

Just as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, the New Order always gets its due.

You can almost set your watch by it. Every two weeks, another edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag!

Like Negan, I am firmly in the anti-zombie camp. Among highsec miners, that's a controversial position to take.

It's early in the Grab Bag and we've got a lot more stuff to get to, so why don't you send me that EVEmail in fewer words, and I'll get back to you?

Sometimes miners can be a little cryptic. Agent Minx Mattel asked for clarification by EVEmail...

Clarification tends to make a miner more vulgar, though.

Our Agents are incredibly open and welcoming to non-English speakers who play EVE. Most people ignore, ostracize, or segregate them. The New Order appreciates them for their unique talents and idioms:

If the Code did not exist, you probably never would've heard the expression "go into the shadow of a puppy". Remind me again why carebears want to abolish the Code?

...Miners, as you can see, are not so inclusive.

It was Breadofdead Sinulf's first day, and our Agent ganked him. The rebels would undoubtedly point to this as evidence that the New Order kills newbies. However, it turns out that Breadofdead had actually been playing for nearly a month, not a day. Never trust a miner.

Another common complaint is that we "force" people to put things into their bio. In fact, it's the rebel miners who get the most touchy about the content of other people's bios. MI-ONE19 Blade was triggered when she saw a miner with a mining permit.

In a fight between a permit-holder and a rebel, my isk's on the permit-holder.

Our enemies really need to make up their minds: Are they innocent, defenseless newbies--or unstoppable killing machines?

Or, the third option: Bot-aspirant Goofuses.

What a shame. We really needed that guy in our community.

Over One Trillion Five Hundred Ninety-Two Billion in Shares Sold

If you could choose to possess any ability, having good timing wouldn't be a bad pick.

Kera Udan had good timing. Her purchase of 200 shares of New Order stock was just enough--at just the right time--to take us past the 1,592 billion isk mark. Why was that such a valuable thing? Because it earned her a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

In case you're wondering, though: The best time to buy New Order shares is right now.


BONUS!

Have you ever wanted to start a conversation with someone who didn't feel like talking to you, but you didn't know how? Grigory Filippov wasn't in a mood to speak with anyone after he lost a freighter worth 10 billion isk.

Agent Lawrence Lawton knew just the right icebreaker to use: He placed a bounty of 315,315 isk on Grigory. Suddenly, the carebear was sending him a convo request! Way to flip the script.

Unfortunately, once Grigory saw the Code being linked, he was eager to get out of the convo.

Lawrence managed to use some logic to reel Grigory back in. The carebear repaid him with a cryptic remark.

Upon losing a ship, some carebears try to console themselves by making idle threats. Our Agents don't even let them have that. The Code outlaws any sort of comfort based on self-deception.

Grigory returned to silent mode, but not until after our Agent stabbed him with some truths. That was definitely worth 315,315 isk.

The Ink Wasn't Even Dry Yet

Someone was in a hurry.

Kensi Sukarala didn't have time to fully equip her Mackinaw before she brought it to an asteroid belt in Osmon. I guess there was a mining emergency or something.

Most egregiously, Kensi failed to equip a mining permit. Agent Lawrence Lawton terminated the vessel and offered the miner instructions on how to mine correctly.

In his time as an Agent, Lawrence has sold over 4 billion isk worth of permits. He knows all the excuses by heart.

Though mining permits have always cost 10 million isk, they've never been easier to sell. Highsec is filled with licensed miners these days.

Anti-Gankers make themselves miserable every time they fail to stop a gank. The only thing that might make them even angrier is when they see a miner buy a permit.

Kensi was still a miner in a hurry. She wanted to get her bio updated and return to mining as quickly as possible. In her haste, she became sloppy--letting a comment slip that she probably shouldn't have.

Lawrence's keen instincts detected something wrong with this newly licensed miner. She seemed to have a very "transactional" view of the world. Like the only thing that mattered was the exchange of money.

She was also, by her own admission, someone who shied away from interacting with other players in a MMORPG about interacting with other players.

Nothing could be easier than buying a permit and installing it in your bio. Yet Kensi struggled.

The miner failed to realize that Lawrence was still monitoring Osmon local. For someone who said she never talked, she was spreading a lot of heresy in local chat.

Kensi admitted that she didn't like the Code very much, but claimed she was willing to submit to it anyway. Miners are, of course, required to submit to the Code, but they're not supposed to have a bad attitude about it. We want miners to be happy and compliant. Both elements are required.

The allegedly taciturn miner kept talking her way into more trouble. And wait a minute, didn't she say she had trouble speaking English?

Kensi wanted to properly format the mining permit in her bio, but it was too late for that now.

Once again, a Goofus with a permit ended up getting it revoked--in record time. It's not easy for a bot-aspirant to impersonate a real EVE player!

Permits Are Better Than Remits

If you've been ganked by a Maller or a bunch of Tornadoes recently, there's a pretty good chance you've met Agent Ralliana and her friends.

That was the case for Leto Atal, whose capacitor-tanked Proteus met its doom on a gate in Poinen. It could've jumped through the gate at any time, but it sat there and died instead.

Like a lot of carebears, Leto was more willing to offer a "wtf" than a "gf". He immediately attempted to put Ralliana on the defensive. (He probably should've done that before the battle was over.)

The former Proteus pilot leveled an extraordinary new accusation against our Agent. I think this is the first time anyone has accused an Agent of harassment for not enforcing the Code.

Next, Leto fumed that Ralliana had killed someone with a kill right. This crazy carebear actually thought Ralliana didn't have the right to kill while using a kill right!

Agent Ralliana was amazed. Leto even found a way to complain about not being killed.

Leto wasn't interested in continuing the conversation in local any further. He had a petition to write.

Even though she doubted its usefulness in this case, Ralliana sent the carebear a standard post-gank EVEmail. Leto's reply quickly confirmed our Agent's doubts.

Ralliana didn't want to nitpick the guy about every provision of the Code. She just wanted him to get a permit. Apparently that was too much to ask.

Leto was an odd duck. Many of our enemies have criticized our Agents, but few have done so from Leto's perspective. He didn't think Ralliana role-played convincingly enough to gank him. Our Agent explained that all highsec activities require a permit, and she left it at that.

Leto doubled down on the space lawyer/role-player hybrid approach. Though unorthodox, his position was clear: He didn't want anyone in the mighty CODE. alliance shooting his Proteus.

Incredibly, Leto's employment history goes back a decade, and he still hasn't learned that highsec is a place where PvP is allowed to occur at any time. This only proves that we still have a lot of work to do. Highsec needs us, desperately.

Bob Wins, Part 5

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Bob the Fourth saw potential in the Solitude region. The miners there were rough and unformed--malformed, really--but he could mold them into something that honoured the Code. And if not, he could kill them and take their blingy drones.

There's a perception among some that the New Order only cares about ganking big, juicy targets. And it's true that our Code enforcers appreciate big, juicy killmails. However, they kill every bot-aspirant in highsec, even Venture pilots. Big or small, the Code comes to them all.

Agent Bob ganked Reaver Ventris, who turned out to be what the rebels would call a "newbro". Unlike other "newbros", he wasn't some six-year veteran of the highsec asteroid belts.

Bob the Fourth > Reaver Ventris are you ready to buy your permit yet?
Reaver Ventris > lol
Vera Vala > I lost mine, could I get another one?
Bob the Fourth > I can offer you both a one time special deal, just send me 20 Million ISK and I'll let you each have one permit.

Bob noticed that Reaver hadn't responded well to his post-gank killmail. Luckily, he happened to see Reaver again in the same system.

Reaver Ventris > meh, i gave him 1 isk for making my day lol
Bob the Fourth > all donations to the Code enforcement fund are gratefully accepted
Reaver Ventris > lmao this guy ^^^
Bob the Fourth > well Reaver Ventris, I'm glad your mood seems to have improved since your last email.

Though he'd been angry for a couple days after losing his Venture, the miner appeared to cheer up when he saw what a nice, charming person Bob was.

Reaver Ventris > Bob the Fourth you make my email sound hostile when you're the one who shot without warning
Bob the Fourth > You had plenty of warning. Well, you would have if you were following The Code.
Reaver Ventris > Bob the Fourth ppfffftt code... who is anyone to tell me what law i follow? you can hunt me down for being a vagrant to your laws, but i will always be an outsider to you and your people

...But then, just as quickly, Reaver's mood turned sour again. Our Agent judged that this was one of those carebears who ran hot and cold.

Bob the Fourth > that's a very rebelious statement. I think you should go reread The Code and consider your choices.
Reaver Ventris > yes it was, i hope you enjoyed it theres much more to come
Vera Vala > I dont need a permit if you are here and I'm in another system. You cant see me soooo
Bob the Fourth > Vera Vala are you another miner that claims to be afk mining while sat in a station?
Vera Vala > I'm just mining somewhere else while you are sitting here, so no worries Im safe
Vera Vala > I'm safe nothing to worry about

Sometimes new MinerBumping readers are surprised to see how much attention our Agents give to individual carebears. It makes more sense when you realize that our Agents are experts at multitasking. They often carry on multiple conversations at once, all while bumping or ganking other targets. You might say that this strength of our Agents is a force multiplier.

Bob the Fourth > We the Agents of the New Order are working for the betterment of all High Sec. Why would you want to stand in the way of such progress?
Reaver Ventris > describe this betterment? what benefit is there to me?
Reaver Ventris > its just a code for the strong to prey on the weak
Bob the Fourth > i guess first off, you'll need to realize that it's not all about you.

As with so many other isk-grinders, Reaver had a selfish attitude. It was obvious that he hadn't yet embraced the highsec community spirit.

Reaver Ventris > no its not... its about my corp
Reaver Ventris > and co-operation
Reaver Ventris > not extortion
Reaver Ventris > i dont stand for your kind

Barely a week into the game, Reaver was already prejudiced against Code enforcers.

Bob the Fourth > As a high sec miner, you occupy the space at the very bottom of the food chain. The sooner you accept that the happier you'll be.
Vera Vala > We know that you have been sent here to convince us to worship being more powerful than all of us. But you must know that like all of us, youre not gods.
Reaver Ventris > n who says ionly mine hisec?
Reaver Ventris > so stuff your foodchain

Bob was concerned for Reaver's future. The miner was too young to be playing into miner stereotypes. At this rate, he could end up becoming a bitter Anti-Ganker in a month or two.

Bob the Fourth > I see, so you are the alt of someone powerfull in Null Sec?
Reaver Ventris > lol no
Reaver Ventris > im a nebie who learned fast
Reaver Ventris > *newbie
Bob the Fourth > well done for admiting it. now, about your permit...

Agent Bob was pleased to see that the miner's mind wasn't entirely gone. Corrupted, maybe, but perhaps all was not lost.

Reaver Ventris > you can keep it mate
Reaver Ventris > i wont be needing that other to wipe me bum tbh
Reaver Ventris > stop tryna sell your tissues
Bob the Fourth > well, you should be setting a good example for your new brothers in mining.
Reaver Ventris > i am... rise up brothers. free yourselves from the oprressors!!!

Just when things started looking up, the miner descended back into the darkest places of his soul. This mission was turning into a roller coaster ride.

Ali Mony > Not that I encourage Bob's piracy but it sdure can be good for business
Dalmont Delantee > Happy for Bob to pop whoever he wants, thats the game :)
Reaver Ventris > he can do what he likes, but he aint getting a penny from me
Reaver Ventris > especiallly nt after calling me scum
Bob the Fourth > When did i call you scum?
Reaver Ventris > bottom of the foodchain... scum.... its all in the code my friend

When you're new to EVE and you have no one to guide you, things can go bad in a hurry. The newbie miner had become radicalized. Was there any chance for Bob to save him?

To be continued...

Bob Wins, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Bob the Fourth saw extraordinary success in selling permits, even when miners didn't intend to spend quite as much isk as they ended up doing. Nevertheless, even a licensed miner merits monitoring.

The shift toward miners using Orcas with named drones has had some unanticipated consequences. Unanticipated for the miners, that is. Our Agents are capable of stealing the drones and then making a nice bit of isk by selling them.

New Order Agents also receive something else in the bargain--intel. By recording the identities of miners who purchase the drones, our Agents can track them down and steal or destroy those very same drones. The cycle of justice continues.

Bob the Fourth > gf miner.
Bob the Fourth > mining permits, just 10 Million ISK.
Ryhos Gunerre > I thought that was a Code thing
Bob the Fourth > Indeed it is, I enforce the Code and you should follow it.

Agent Bob sold stolen 'Augmented' Mining Drones to Barabbas xxx, and then smartbombed them to death. This act of elite PvP caught the attention of others in local.

Ryhos Gunerre > I'll pass
Bob the Fourth > So did Barabbas xxx. It just cost him his Augmented Drones.
Ryhos Gunerre > Still gonna pass
Barabbas xxx > everythings replaceable
Barabbas xxx > well, not gold magnates but generally

Barabbas was lucky in one thing, at least: He'd been at his keyboard at the time. Otherwise, Bob would've bumped the Orca away and stolen the drones--and maybe sold them to Barabbas again.

Ryhos Gunerre > Bob its to bad. I docked up in my hulk. I think i am going to call it a day. Also the Ice Miners from Niballe let me know to avoid you whenmining
Bob the Fourth > Don't worry, I know all about your Hulk.
Ryhos Gunerre > ;)
Ryhos Gunerre > Good because i'm heading out

Bob's reputation for power and excellence spread further. This had a funny side effect.

Barabbas had some interest in doing things other than mining. EVE has a steep learning curve, so the miner sought advice from someone good at EVE. Who better than an Agent of the New Order?

In fact, this is a common phenomenon. The "victims" of Code enforcement often seek out Agents for help. We're the only ones who truly care about the fate of highsec carebears, after all.

And, I mean, it's not like you can get useful advice from a member of Anti-Ganking.

Over time, Barabbas found himself wondering why so many people hate the mighty CODE. alliance. I've written an 11-part series on the subject, but the short version is that people who hate CODE. are bad and dumb. Initially, Barabbas took it for granted that CODE. should be hated, but when he cracked open his mind a little, truth started to seep in.

One day, Bob found an extra 10 million isk in his wallet. Had the day finally arrived?

Barabbas xxx > hello, how are you?
Bob the Fourth > I'm very well thanks. Is that 10 Million you buying a permit?
Barabbas xxx > no not for me. there were some new guys mining in ventures in my fleet earlier. but there have gone now. i just wanted them to have a good time :)
Barabbas xxx > buy some plasmas or a cruiser with it!!

The miner saw the wisdom in giving Bob money, but was not quite ready to purchase a permit.

Still, he was getting there. Slowly, but surely.

Even so, we mustn't sugarcoat anything less than total compliance. As this kill from someone else's wardec demonstrates, only 100% Code-compliance is worthy of highsec.

To be continued...