Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #40

Can you believe this is the fortieth edition of the Grab Bag of highsec miner tears? The anguish of the unrighteous may be limitless. We'll have to continue testing that theory to be certain.


Some call us extortionists, but that can't be the case. Even those who pay must follow the Code. It's difficult for carebears to accept that some things have a value upon which you can't put a price tag.


Protip: If you want to encourage people to collect a bounty on me, you're going to need to give them more than a few days. Maybe a few years, given how infrequently I lose ships (i.e. never). Jayrendo Karr's plan spun out of a distraught miner posting on Reddit.


Actually, I'm frequently the topic of conversation on Reddit. As in EVE, the miners' "someone else do something about it" attitude prevails.


It's good to get people excited about something in EVE these days. The last few expansions haven't been very inspiring. Thank goodness for me!


Of course, there are always those who are too "cool" to go along with everyone else. That's why the persistent application of force is so beneficial. The New Order is not merely "trendy". Trends are voluntary.


No, Gizmarien Canis wasn't hitting random letters on his keyboard. Google Translate identified the language here as Croatian:

"Monkey motherfucker jackass stupid... While reading this motherfucker illiterate moron. I'll fuck you up the whole family and see you again. Moron."

Now you know what people mean when they call you a "debilu".


After so many years of hopelessness in highsec, some miners are cynical. They really can't believe we act out of the goodness of our own hearts. A few more years of New Order justice, and even the most stubborn miners will get the message!


AMG Naari falls into the classic carebear trap of assuming it's easy to gank miners. And yet, I still haven't met a carebear who was capable of it.


It always amuses me when carebears think that I do what I do as some kind of ego trip. I bet they think people who volunteer at soup kitchens are doing it for some selfish reason, too.


One of the tragic side effects of the new slang definition of "sick" is that you can't always tell whether someone is complimenting you or insulting you. You must rely on the context. The preceding EVEmail is an example of a miner who uses the word "sick" to say the New Order is bad. You can tell by the carebearism. He thinks if you pay CCP some money, you should be guaranteed success in this game. "Pay-to-win", anyone?


Although the Code does not explicitly require miners to praise me in local every day, I can scarcely think of any good reason why they wouldn't do so.


Draecos Archangelus may be disappointed, but I couldn't be any prouder of Agent NotTheSmartestCookie for popping his Retriever and salvaging the miner's tears. It's not cruelty; it's PvP. And elite PvP at that.

10 comments:

  1. I wouldn't call that elite per se, more like selective/smart. It's what pirates of old and today do, they find the easiest target that is worth the most, and take/destroy it.

    It kind of reminds me of the Carcharodons Chapter of Warhammer 40k, this instance at least. Don't know why but it does.

    ---Friendly Neighborhood Scoundrel

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "elite per se" is an oxymoron. Elite refers to being superior to most other things, "per se" means "without reference to other things". This is a clear contradiction.

      Using Latin phrases without actually knowing what they mean is an irredeemable fault. While you are beyond saving, I can still warn others to disregard every future post you make. The only advice for you is to change your handle and never attempt to use Latin again.

      Delete
    2. Okay, didn't know that, never learned Latin, thanks for the info.

      My handle is going to stay, it is a paradox for a reason, it's funny!

      Delete
  2. about that croatian guy raging. google translate really sucks at that language. what he really said is(with adding the right sentence structure):

    "you retard, i fuck your mother you stupid horse...
    while you are reading this im fucking your mother you illiterate retard.
    i will fuck your whole family should i see you ever again. retard."

    from his "writing accent" i think he is from dalmatia(which is a great place for holidays tbh)

    and if you wonder why he is cursing in such a creative way? well the croatian language gives you a very wide range of possible combinations to curse, so you can get very creative if you like :D

    your friendly agent from the balkan ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, sir. We appreciate the human translation. Bots, both within Eve and beyond, are often insufficient. It's the human touch that really matters. A fact often lost on these poor miners.

      Delete
    2. I think there is one thing we can agree on, Google Translate basically sucks, NO and anti-NO alike.

      Delete
  3. Poor Mike Lewandowski!
    Isnt he the 1 eyed little green monster from monsters inc.?
    Such tragic complaining from someone who claims that ignorance....ISNT bliss. I guess we should go back through all those old sayings and double check that theyre correct.
    Hes minding "his" business, mining in highsec. hes rude, calling Agents and Knights cohorts and cronies. Then he called what WE do misguided. Its almost like he hit the wrong button when he logged in. I think he meant to hit the one labeled "Single Player"
    Oh...wait, there ISNT a button like that on this game.
    Perhaps dear michael should make sure that feature is available for the next game, since losing ONE ship, in an internet spaceship war game makes him want to quit.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Is there any way to get an archived version of the reddit thread. The poor sap has deleted their reddit account so you can't see what they posted.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Elite PvP? Generally when I think of Elite PvP I think there is a challenge involved in the fight where either side has a decent chance to win. Miners don't get to fight back until they are attacked (at which point they don't have a combat ship anyways) or they have the kill right on one of the endless alts gankers have. Elite PvP, this is not. But I understand the idea is just to troll anyone and everyone by insisting that miner ganking is "elite".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If we assume that PvP skill is normally distributed (bell curve), then your definition of 'elite pvp' occurs often, when two average PvPers fight, but most fights that someone with elite PvP skills fights would not qualify. This is the opposite of the dictionary definition of elite...but I understand your idea is just to troll anyone and everyone by insisting that subpar PvP between unskilled opponents is "elite".

      Delete

Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.