Friday, September 6, 2013

The Robotnik-Aspirant, Part 1

I was chillin' in Kino, minding highsec's business--my business--bumping punks and selling mining permits. When suddenly...


A Drake appeared on my heads-up display. It was 50km from me and wasted no time in locking my Invincible Stabber. Before I knew it, the Drake had already acquired a firing solution. It could strike at a moment's notice.


Preferring diplomacy to violence, I hailed the captain of the vessel, Dr Robotnik-x. Out of nowhere, he declared animosity toward the New Order. A rebel!


Things like goodness, truth, justice, and mercy are not universally popular. Actually, they're very polarizing. In an instant, the Kino locals were taking sides. The population was divided into pro- and anti-Order factions.


Then Robotnik posed a curious question. Was I serving as a replacement for acclaimed Agent Bing Bangboom?


It was only then that Robotnik realized that I was the leader of the New Order. Only a handful of people in highsec don't know who I am. But such is the impact of our Agents that they can make an impression on even the most ignorant, disconnected carebears. So he at least knew who Bing was.


Clearly, there was a history here. Robotnik filed a complaint against Bing. But a cursory review of the complaint revealed that Robotnik was in the wrong: He thought only AFK miners can be ganked by the New Order. Although it's true that AFK mining violates the Code, it's not the only way to violate the Code. Robotnik was operating under a common, but incorrect, interpretation of the Code. A common mistake is still a mistake--and a heresy.


Robotnik also displayed "denialist" tendencies, expressing doubts about the existence of countless permits sold by the New Order. And then the other shoe dropped--Bing had ganked him.


Bing's Knight alt, Spine Ripper destroyed Robotnik's absurdly-fit Retriever. That's where the grudge began.


Later, in a futile effort to combat Bing himself, Robotnik fit a Rokh (if you can call this a "fitting"), which was easily destroyed. Indeed, this kill appeared on a previous Kill of the Week entry.


Despite these setbacks, Robotnik remained defiant. He would organize anti-Order resistance in Kino.


What Robotnik didn't realize is that there was already anti-Order resistance in Kino. The old rebels, I suppose, have all moved on, whether to other systems, out of highsec, or out of EVE.


As I moved freely throughout the system, bumping Code-violators at will, Robotnik struggled to slowboat toward me in his Drake. At times, he found himself out of locking range. He didn't even get the pleasure of yellow-boxing me! Still, he knew he couldn't mine while I was around, and he couldn't think of a better way to oppose the Order.


While Robotnik's Drake hadn't fired any missiles yet, his calls to rebellion fell on the ears of impressionable young miners. Some were radicalized. It was a battle of hearts and minds. The fate of Kino rested in the balance.

To be continued...

46 comments:

  1. I AM THE EGGMAN, THATS WHAT I AM
    I AM THE EGGMAN, I'VE GOT THE MASTERPLAAAAAAN

    Thankfully, this one doesnt have a masterplan. Just a carebear plan.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes. Im a carebear. I dont have all day, every day and dissability checks to pour into eve like the new order does.
      Robotnik-x

      Delete
    2. you guys are idiots noone likes you and eventualy will whipe out your pathetic order

      Delete
  2. The real Robotnik would be appalled at this impersonator. His machines are far superior to the ones his Eve clone makes.

    ReplyDelete
  3. /emote is really hoping Robotnik-x turns the safety to red in Part 2.

    ReplyDelete
  4. At least this rebel is properly named after a villain.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Robotnik wasnt the rebel. He was the dictator. Get your facts straight.
      Robotnik-x :D

      Delete
  5. I would've reminded these rebel-aspirants of the cautionary tales of many other rebellions before them; such as Brony2893 and Botten Miromme who rebelled in Ikao.

    Now the entire system is code compliant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There goes that new order spin...I went through that system yesterday and did not see one agent or person with a pledge to jimmy or the new order....

      Delete
    2. now there are 3 anonymous posters in this thread making unverifiable claims.

      Delete
    3. So, that counts yourself??? Or do we need to bump that number to 4???

      Delete
    4. I think it's still 3, as a question isn't a claim, is it?????

      Delete
  6. what will happen when the entire EVE universe is 'code compliant'? Will the gankers turn on each other? Now that would be worth seeing! lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No one wants to hear about your space orgy fantasies.

      Delete
    2. We will go where Eve needs us and do what must be done for the good of all regardless of the sacrifice, as always.

      Delete
    3. We will go back to what we all do every day. Being an Agent, or Knight of the New Order doesnt require you to empty your brain of anything but ganking. We all have mains that pvp, or manu, do PI, roams, trading, hauling and live in high, low and null. Of course we wont turn on each other, what a silly question...
      The truest goal of the New Order will always be people PLAYING the game, not doing laundry or watching youtube videos while their ships explode unbeknownst to them in the background.

      Delete
  7. what if people don't want or need you interfering with their lives or game play? Do you pay their bills? Do you fix their meals? Do you wipe their ass after a dump? What gives you "people" the "right" to decide what is 'good for all'?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The same thing gives us the right as any other legitimate government, we have the guns.

      -Galaxy Pig

      Delete
  8. LMAO! "legitimate government"!!! Now that's funny!!! Were you voted in as a legitimate government? I don't remember voting for you!!! LMAO! You have the guns but that doesn't make you legitimate, it does make you a bunch of bullies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I never voted in any legitimate government in my country, but it still has all the guns and is called a legitimate government throughout the world. Thanks for revealing the depths of your ignorance.

      Where do you live IRL, BTW?

      Delete
    2. If the votes were counted, it is a legitimate government, regardless of how you feel about said government.

      Thanks for revealing the depths of your ignorance.!!

      I live in the greatest Country on the Planet. Where do you live IRL, BTW? LMAO

      Delete
    3. There are plenty of people with guns that are fighting legitimate governments, and that does not make them one...as long the top left panel identifying the system states that the sovereignty of that system is some organization other than the new order, you will NOT be the legitimate government, but rather a bunch of self righteous WANABEEs....

      Delete
    4. "If the votes were counted, it is a legitimate government, regardless of how you feel about said government."

      If the votes were counted? So according to you, counting the votes, burning them, and installing the loser of the vote as dictator for life = legitimate government, because the votes were counted? You're really quite amusing.

      thanks for revealing the even deeper depths of your ignorance :)

      Delete
  9. you call the miners "carebears" I call you a bunch of freeloading scammers, liars, and thugs with the usual mob mentality, (that means you are stupid and lazy), willing to be led around by the ring in your nose, by a megalomaniac with self image issues.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is that the best you can do? Really?? Like I said stupid and lazy. Thanks for reading.

      Delete
    2. lol wow the intelligence level from the "Order" is astounding!

      I see that none of you cared to refute any of my statements! i.e. lazy, stupid, megalomaniac, mob mentality. LMAO!!

      Thanks for the fun!!

      Delete
    3. The new order reminds me of The Lord of the Flies...

      Delete
    4. "I see that none of you cared to refute any of my statements! i.e. lazy, stupid, megalomaniac, mob mentality. LMAO!!"

      You're confused, first you support your statements, then people try to refute them. We're still waiting for you to make a rational statement--until then, we'll just observe your impotent rage.

      Delete
  10. lol like I will tell you, I found a nice profitable corner in EVE where I can mine and not be bothered by the likes of you. What's the matter? Running out of targets that don't shoot back? Does it give you a 'woody' to kill players that don't shoot back? Were you all abused as children? The cycle of abuse can be broken, but you would have to be strong, smart and resilient, but I don't think any of you are capable of that.

    Where did you daddy touch you? Still sore about it? (LOL Pardon the pun)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You think child abuse is something to "LOL" about?
      Wow...

      Delete
    2. Taking the knowledge that some children suffer horrific abuse and using it to insult people because they play a game in a way you don't like is the height of repugnance, you should be ashamed of yourself.

      Your post is mocking rape victims, not the New Order. You are the scummy person here, not them.

      Delete
  11. WOW! You "Order" guys really grasp at anything to distract from the real issue here don't you? Since you 'order' 'people' are probably (hopefully) adults and can understand the ramifications of abuse and hope to break the cycle yet you choose NOT to, yeah that is LOL.

    Like I said....stupid, lazy,...megalomaniac and I have seen and heard in your mining bumping chat room and forums, blogs etc. teasing others of being abused...so you can dish it out but you can't take it. That figures.

    Still waiting to have you refute the lazy, stupid, megalomaniac statements, guess you all are too stupid and lazy, you would rather distract.

    Anyway, this has been kinda fun, but real life is calling.

    You know about real life? You should try it sometime!!! LOLOLOLOLOL

    That is if you can get your mommy and daddy from bad touching you!!!!! LMAO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have the very unfortunate habits of repeating yourself, writing excessive words, and laughing at your own statements.

      Delete
    2. i think he came just to the point where he either gets code compilant, or total nuts.

      choose wisely


      your agent selina

      Delete
    3. Listen closely: One 'refutes' arguments, one doesn't refute statements. If you make statements not backed by logical argumentation, there's nothing to refute--they refute themselves by lack of support. Come back when you're older.

      Delete
  12. Oh what's the matter Alana, can't understand all those 'excesssive words'? Does that make you stupid and lazy???

    Repeating myself? Only because you keep ignoring the FACT that none of you have refuted the 'stupid, lazy, megalomaniac statements, you are focused on distracting from those FACTS! LOLOLOL

    I like laughter, I do it alot when reading the same tired old shit that continues to spew out of the mouth of your 'dear leader'!

    @Agent Selina: You are NOT 'my' agent. Stop being so pompous, you are not worthy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're refuting it for them with your posts. Genuine highsec carebear you are, making all the other highsec carebears proud. Keep up the good work!

      Delete
    2. mr carebear,

      can you explain me how you are not the one who is lazy? you came here insulting people you dont know for no reason, then using the word "facts" very very often without ever prooving one of them.
      we are in the internet, so at least some links that support your "facts" please. otherwise thats all just useless.

      i think you are lazy, you cant think of any arguments, so you instult people and call facts without saying anything in detail, that is very weak.
      please try harder next time.

      your worthy agent selina

      Delete
  13. Ill refute the stupid, lazy, megalomaniac leader statements for you anonymous guy.

    As far as ive seen, an overwhelming majority of New Order members display an intelligence that allows them to make smart decisions that do not include mining afk while someone blows up your ship. If this doesnt suffice, please voice your opinion to everyone in your "nice profitable corner in EVE where I can mine" im sure you will be their hero with your unparalleled ability to be anonymous.
    As for lazy, myself, I work 5 days a week to support my family, run somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 miles a week, coach and play soccer another 10-12 hours every week.
    A small sample size, to be sure, but just so you have a measure of comparison. How much of that can you say for yourself?

    This is taken from a wiki, i wanted to be sure i had a reference to look back on:
    Megalomania is a psychopathological disorder characterized by delusional fantasies of power, relevance, or omnipotence, "Megalomania is characterized by an inflated sense of self-esteem and overestimation by persons of their powers and beliefs." Historically it was used as an old name for narcissistic personality disorder prior to the latter's first use by Heinz Kohut in 1968, and is used these days as a non-clinical equivalent. It is not mentioned in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders or the International Statistical Classification of Diseases.

    SO....since James IS...powerful (its hard to argue that a fleet issue stabber that has never been killed, just as an example) AND relevant (this is HIS blog youve come to, forcing you to concede this point you made) that covers 2 of the first 3 points of distinction as it pertains to megalomania.

    Now, the Definition of omnipotent (adj)
    Bing Dictionary
    om·nip·o·tent [ om níppətənt ] 1.all-powerful: possessing complete, unlimited, or universal power and authority
    Synonyms: almighty, all-powerful, invincible, unstoppable, supreme, godlike
    Again, not ALL of these synonyms are applicable, but if you still require more proof, PLEASE just convo James. He is more than happy to spend time conversing with the people of EvE, as a transparent, caring, benevolent leader of humans should be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. this

      also thanks for putting that much effort in it. but i guess no anti new order will ever read it cause they have an afk shutdownfunction (like the laptop energy saver option)that starts after 10 lines of text :(

      so only the smart new order supporters will ever read this.
      still thanks :)
      the more thoughtfull arguments for us the better ^^

      agent selina

      Delete
    2. Afraid you are incorrect SIR has read this and NOTGOD will be spread.

      Delete
  14. It is truely pathetic that you new order people have so much time on your hands that not only do you have time to run and maintain your large and "powerfull" empire in eve, but you have the time to run a website and write stories about your time in the game. New order should be renamed. "Fags with no lives" would be much more accurate. I recommend that you put down the doritoes, zip up your pants and go do something productive with your sad and lonely lives. Get a girlfriend, donate some time in a hospital or nursing home, go for a walk through the woods.

    Get a job
    Dr. Robotnik-x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Those are some grade A tears, not too salty but with a piquant aftertaste.

      Delete

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