Friday, September 27, 2013

On the Beat in Kamio, Part 1

In the old "Mission: Impossible" TV series, every episode began with the team leader reviewing the dossiers of each agent.

...The same thing happens whenever Agents of the New Order work together.

Seasoned Agent Lord Mandelor got a small crew of Knights together and prepared to bring justice to the Kamio system.

Natalei, the scout, detected illegal mining operations underway in the ice anomaly. Not yet vulnerable to faction police, the young Catalyst pilots moved into position.

The miner, alexhunter seyah, convoed the team leader. Protip: If you have to ask, "is there a problem, officer?", there probably is a problem.

alexhunter's bio suggested that he understood, to some extent, that it was unwise to mine AFK. However, he showed his true colors when he began yellowboxing the Catalysts. Only carebears give the carebear stare.

After careful consideration, Lord Mandelor sentenced alexhunter to death. The locals were stunned.

The antimatter bullets began to fly. alexhunter became mute, but the other miners reflected on the virtues of the New Order. Airon Taiyou, who invented the "bio bumper sticker" a year ago, still mines in Kamio and is still happy with his permit purchase, which was recently renewed.

When the dust settled, the Knights of the Order emerged victorious once more.

Back in the convo, alexhunter demanded an explanation. He got one, but he didn't listen to it. He vowed revenge. Lord Mandelor invited his fellow Agents into the convo.

alexhunter was dizzy with rage. Within seconds, he admitted that he didn't have a battleship after all. Just as quickly, he denied that he was "really" a highsec miner.

Our heroes sought to raise a true EVE player out of the ashes of the dead Retriever. Was there any hope for alexhunter?

To be continued...


  1. I laughed so hard at sir surfalot's statements. I couldn't take him seriously.

    ---Friendly Neighborhood Scoundrel

    1. Definitely babydoll, still mining ice after all this time...

  2. ha ha the dust settled the new order agents walked away victorious just a bunch of scrubs who couldnt hack real pvp still shooting ships that cant shoot back even when the people are at the keyboard

    1. You will probably enjoy EVE a lot more after you abandon your outdated notions of e-bushido and realize that kills are kills.

    2. Your interested enough to be reading their forums.

  3. Am I the only one that understood the comment " not really a miner now is it so there is no point to buy a permit" to mean that his battleship was no good for mining?

    1. I guess it's possible, but the no battleship at all theory sits well with me

    2. I also read it that way, but folks looking that hard for victories tend to see them all over the place.

      That said, he probably didn't have a battleship. By the way he typed, I'm surprised he could even figure out how to use his retriever.

  4. Is Ryan gooseling a real human bean?


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