Thursday, August 20, 2015

A Tale of Two Freighters

There once was a freighter pilot named Pham Vrinimi. He'd lived his life as a carebear. He never purchased a permit or obeyed the Code. Then, one day, he came to regret it.
Krig Povelli > 315 mil to save your freighter
Krig Povelli > we are undocking soon
Pham Vrinimi > I thought you just wanted hugs :)
Krig Povelli > Well.. love is not free :(
Pham Vrinimi > Ah well, that's true enough
Pham's freighter was repeatedly bumped, and he no longer had control over his vessel. But it was not too late. Krig convo'ed Pham and offered him a way out. At the time, there were multiple targets available to the freighter gang, which was still docked. If Pham paid a service fee of 315 million isk, he would be given a chance to turn his life around--and someone else would be ganked.

Pham agreed to pay the fee. Even better, his interest in the Code was now at an all-time high.

Pham was directed to Agent Nitetime Video, who was more than happy to introduce the freighter pilot to the rest of the New Order family.

The former rebel was impressed by the Code and the Agent's professionalism. He realized that the freighter gankers were actually doing highsec a service.

Pham only wished he'd embraced the Code sooner. That would've spared him the additional 315 million isk fee, and he would have begun receiving the benefits of compliance earlier. All in all, though, it was a good day for Pham. His freighter escaped destruction.

Now let's consider what happens to the freighters piloted by Goofuses.

Long story short, they die. james a ashdown had no intention of obeying the Code, paying fees, or even attending to his keyboard while in highsec. He lost 9 billion isk to an Imperium-run ganking team. Around 7.7 billion isk of cargo escaped destruction. It was ready to be looted by the gankers, except that there were scavengers circling all around it. One of the Goon alts contacted ashdown, offering him a special opportunity.
Oprah Winfrey Show > hey
Oprah Winfrey Show > I can get you your loot back
Oprah Winfrey Show > if you abandon the wreck
Oprah Winfrey Show > I'll need you to warp to wreck. You can fleet with me and can warp to me
james a ashdown > ty
james a ashdown > omw bk now
Oprah told ashdown to select the wreck and abandon it. This would allow anyone to scoop the cargo without being criminally flagged and attacked by the vultures watching over it. Then, Oprah promised, ashdown would get his stuff back.
Oprah Winfrey Show > Okay, I'm sitting on weck, just need you to come and abandon, I'll scoop, warp to station and trade it to you
james a ashdown > ty
james a ashdown > warping to u
Oprah Winfrey Show > right click wreck -> abandon wreck
james a ashdown > done
Oprah Winfrey Show > get fucked
At the critical moment, Oprah altered the deal: The Goons would keep everything. Greed had gotten the better of ashdown. It would have been unfair for the carebear to have gotten his stuff back for free. Yet he never considered that Oprah and her Goon friends might feel they'd earned a cut. Having failed to offer Oprah a fair wage, ashdown ended up losing everything.
james a ashdown > new u was going to do that
james a ashdown > go halfs with ya lol
Oprah Winfrey Show > link the contracts
Oprah Winfrey Show > show me the contracts
james a ashdown > y would i do that ur only going to screw me over again
Oprah successfully retrieved the cargo. In addition, Oprah wanted valuable information about who was responsible for the courier contracts. But ashdown no longer trusted the Goon alt.
Oprah Winfrey Show > Show me the contracts, I wanna know who was shipping this stuff
james a ashdown > Jita >> Hek (191415 m³) Jita >> Hek (330000 m³) Jita >> Hek (70000 m³)
Oprah Winfrey Show > 10b collateral
james a ashdown > ye my last 2 years game play lol
Oprah Winfrey Show > I'll sell them back to you for 1b each.
By examining the courier contracts, Oprah also learned that the carebear had suffered an extra 10 billion isk in damages, due to collateral on the failed contracts. ashdown was in dire straits.
james a ashdown > only got 1 bil in wallet now after insurance
Oprah Winfrey Show > well, I guess I could do all three for 1b
james a ashdown > how about this as u u have already screwed me over once already u give me 2 ill give u the bill and u send me the 3rd
Oprah Winfrey Show > Sivala VIII - Sukuuvestaa Corporation Warehouse
Oprah Winfrey Show > Come here
james a ashdown > omw
Desperate, ashdown agreed to a new arrangement: He'd pay 1 billion isk for the return of the precious cargo he'd been scammed out of.
Oprah Winfrey Show > trades up
james a ashdown > its empty ent it
Oprah Winfrey Show > Nope
Oprah Winfrey Show > I wouldn't mess with you twice
The carebear was apprehensive. He'd lost a 9 billion isk freighter. He'd lost 10 billion in collateral. He had been scammed out of the loot already. Would he pay another billion to the same people who did all this to him?

He would. And he did.
Oprah Winfrey Show > get fucked
james a ashdown > well ty for well and truly messing eve up for me :)
ashdown's story is a cautionary tale. Unlike Pham, ashdown never showed an interest in changing his ways or obeying the Code. He never expressed his admiration for the freighter gankers. Nor did ashdown ever suggest that he felt the slightest bit guilty for behaving in a bot-aspirant manner. At each step when dealing with the Goons, he assumed that he was entitled to everything. Without hesitation, he believed he could get 100% of the dropped loot back and, after having already been scammed, he thought he could get 7.7 billion isk of loot for the price of 1 billion isk. All he cared about was himself. He was thoroughly bot-aspirant.

I would ask all the freighter pilots out there who don't own permits, to consider whether they will follow in the footsteps of Pham the Gallant or ashdown the Goofus. Remember, when it comes to the trade routes of highsec, only the penitent freighter will pass.


  1. The lesson here is simple!
    Follow the Code, get your permit, and you will lose far less isk than if you try to do it another way.

    The Code ALWAYS wins!!!! ALWAYS!!!!

  2. Another brilliant example of "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

  3. One Word - The Code is non-stop winning daily!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

    1. That are at least six words. :D

  4. That f'n Krig Povelli though, I'm nothing but nice to that particular agent and he sends all his permit business to Scrubtime Video!

    Kill Krig, boot Nitetime 2015™

    1. You remember TDD Dominaters? That guy has helped create more blog posts than any other non-New Order player, all of them due to my hard work and persistence in the face of his idiocy. He once bought a permit.... from Blackskull. So check your permit privilege bro. Or as Oprah would say "get fucked".

  5. There have been scholars and leaders through the ages. We have had brilliant and memorable quotes that will live through the years. Mlk's I have a dream speech or how about the One small step for man quote by my nigga armstrong??. Well now ladies and gentleman we have a new one in which we can share throughout the ages.

    Oprah Winfrey Show - "Get Fucked" - 2015

    Its truly breathtaking, it is so simple and yet so elegant, conveys a blunt truth to the carebear....Bravo......Bravo

    1. that second one made me laugh out loud.
      it is so refreshing to bask in the glory of these sacred texts.
      if only Dywisa could just calm down, she would see the true path.

      hail James 315! the savior of hisec.

      The CODE always wins! Always!

  6. It was the best of freighters, it was the worst of freighters. It was the best of Highsec, it was the worst of Highsec.

  7. ask not what high sec can do for you. Ask what you can do for high sec

  8. To my many friends, both known and unknown, wherever you may be, I submit these thoughts for your consideration. Before I get moving here, let me point out that James A Ashborn's intimates all look like James, think like James, act like James, and feed us a fanciful load of horse manure as unassailable truth, just like James does. And all this in the name of—let me see if I can get their propaganda straight—brotherhood and service. Ha! Couldn't you figure that out for yourself, James? Let me end this letter by telling James A Ashborn that I fully intend to challenge his outlandish premises and dubious motives. This action is lawful. This action is moral. And this action is right.

    1. @290
      I think this is another mis-aimed attempt to "out" the Supreme Protector and Father of Highsec's real life identity.

      Which means that this anon is advocating doxxing.


    3. Once again, I am writing in response to Butthurt Miner's imprecations, and once again, I merely wish to point out that Butthurt Miner's ballyhoos have created a potentially poisonous brew of alienation and rootlessness that Butthurt Miner's tuchungism movement expertly exploits to recruit new members. But first, let me pose you a question: Is Butthurt Miner actually concerned about any of us or does he just want to blacklist his foes as terrorist sympathizers or traitors? After reading this letter, you'll indubitably find it's the latter. The law of parsimony suggests that he has been dabbling in sciolism. More than that, no one likes being attacked by superstitious conspiracy theorists. Even worse, Butthurt Miner exploits our fear of those attacks—which he claims will evolve before long into biological, chemical, or nuclear attacks—as a pretext to lead people towards iniquity and sin. If you think that's scary, then you should remember that if you've read this far then you probably either agree with me or are on the way to agreeing with me.

      Butthurt Miner's plunderbund is not a civil debating society. It is not interested in new ideas. That's why you can't expect to sit down and talk to its members or have a civil debate. The best you can do is try to tell them that the poisonous wine of totalism had been distilled long before Butthurt Miner entered the scene. Butthurt Miner is merely the agent decanting the poisonous fluid from its bottle into the jug that is world humanity. We must build a working consensus to tackle big problems. This call to action begins with you. You must be the first to begin a course of careful, planned, and coordinated action. You must be the one to stop this insanity. And you must inform your fellow man that it would help if Butthurt Miner realized that education and wisdom aren't necessarily the same thing. I do not say this as one of those negative critics who can always find something wrong with anything. Rather, I say it as someone who firmly believes that some people think I'm exaggerating when I say that Butthurt Miner flatters people in order to betray them. But I'm not exaggerating; if anything, I'm understating the situation.

      As infernal as Butthurt Miner's cat's-paws may be, they are also the worst sorts of satanic peculators there are. I cannot believe how many actual, physical, breathing, thinking people have fallen for Butthurt Miner's subterfuge. I'm completely stunned. I'd like very much to respond to Butthurt Miner's claim that his belligerent coven is a benign and charitable agency. Unfortunately, taking into account Butthurt Miner's background, education, and intelligence, I am quite sure that Butthurt Miner would not be able to understand my response. Hence, let me say simply this: Butthurt Miner is typical of juvenile, intemperate smear merchants in his wild invocations to the irrational, the magic, and the fantastic to dramatize his ruminations. Okay, there's no reason for me to be peccable, so I'll leave you with this concept: By the next full moon, Butthurt Miner's poison will infect us, sicken us, and destroy us.

      Comedy gold, right there.

  9. Well that was a highly anticlimatic story, more QC on entries please, 9/10 are worth reading, a Jita-esque trade scam with commentary is boring as heck.

    1. Well, what do you expect? No matter what happens it is the same story (and comments) day after day after day. Minerbumping is really hilarious for a while, but it surely gets old soon. :D

    2. pray that the savior forgives you.

  10. The lesson I've learnt from this is: Never trust a Goon.

    Drammie Askold


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