Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Literally Bot-Aspirant

Highsec: A PvP zone in a PvP server for a PvP game.


Bull of Doom didn't know it, but he was about to engage in a thrilling round of PvP. Bull was a highsec miner. Judging by the sentiments expressed in his bio, he was not fully prepared for life in modern highsec, which is all about good government.


Bull's opponent was Agent Ilithyia Borgia, an accomplished and elite PvP'er. Who won? If you guessed that the CODE always wins, you are correct. Ilithyia's succeed-fit Catalyst defeated Bull's fail-fit Retriever easily.

Our Agent was a champion, and she reasonably assumed that the miner might like to meet her. Rather than invite the miner to a convo, however, Ilithyia allowed Bridget Bishop to make the introduction. This impressed our Agent's importance upon the carebear.
Bridget Bishop > Greeting miner
Bridget Bishop > may I introduce you to Agent Ilithyia Borgia
Ilithyia Borgia > Hello
Ilithyia Borgia > Do you know why I decomissioned your mining barge?
Bull of Doom > because you harvest tears
Bull of Doom > you are literally isis
Celebrity meet-and-greets don't always go well. Bull was mistaken about Ilithyia's affiliations. Actually, there was a New Order corp called Literally ISIS, but it is currently closed.


Literally ISIS was not literally ISIS, however. You can still read the corp description, which is available on EveWho.
Ilithyia Borgia > Actually ISIS cuts off real people's heads
Ilithyia Borgia > This is a video game
Ilithyia Borgia > so your analogy is not just incorrect
Ilithyia Borgia > but displays a gross misunderstanding of what human suffering is
Bull of Doom > no, i'd say it's accurate
Bull of Doom > You must be an A-rab
Extended periods of highsec mining are as bad for one's mental health as they are for one's spirit. Our Agents are often tasked with the job of getting miners back to their senses once they have been removed from an asteroid belt.
Ilithyia Borgia > I am actually
Ilithyia Borgia > My father is Syrian
Ilithyia Borgia > and my mother is Jordanian
Bull of Doom > are you with ISIS?
Bull of Doom > or Assad??
Bull was even less grounded than most carebears.
Ilithyia Borgia > back to the unreality of EVE
Bull of Doom > back to the reality of terrorism
Ilithyia Borgia > you want to mine in James 315's teritory (highsec)
Ilithyia Borgia > you must pay 10 mil for a mining permit
Ilithyia Borgia > and follw the New Halaima Code of Conduct
Ilithyia Borgia > You can send the money directly to me
Focus is important. A carebear's thoughts tend to go in every direction but the right one. They may reject the Code, but they need its guidance more than anyone else in highsec.
Bull of Doom > CODE's permits are a scam, as you gank regaurdless of permit status
Bull of Doom > which is basically what ISIS does
Bull of Doom > so you are ISIS
Ilithyia Borgia > That is incorrect
Bull of Doom > debatable
Misinformation filled the young miner's head. He obviously hadn't been reading MinerBumping. Of all the carebears whose ships are destroyed, how many own permits?
Bull of Doom > you may not gank terrorist sympathisers (sorry, "permit holders") but others in CODE will
Bull of Doom > which is why this is a scam
Bull of Doom > and you are literally hitler
Ilithyia Borgia > You need a reality check miner
Bull of Doom > You are the one who needs to face reality
Adolf Hitler's reputation as a mining license provider continues to grow.
Bull of Doom > Terrorism is commonly defined as violent acts (or the threat of violent acts) intended to create fear (terror), perpetrated for an economic,[1] religious, political, or ideological goal, and which deliberately target or disregard the safety of non-comba
Ilithyia Borgia > how has your safety been threatened?
Bull of Doom > you literally tried to kill me
Ilithyia Borgia > no
Ilithyia Borgia > I destroyed an imaginary spaceship
Bull of Doom > yes
Ilithyia Borgia > in an imaginary world
Bull of Doom > no
When a miner reaches for a definition of "terrorism" or "extortion", it's safe to say he's lost the argument. Highsec miners lose arguments almost as often as they lose ships.
Bull of Doom > you create fear or terror for economic gains
Bull of Doom > which is terrorism
Ilithyia Borgia > what economic gain do I get out of this?
Bull of Doom > isk
Bull of Doom > which, if you compile about 900 million, is worth about 20 USD
According to a Miner Bingo square, "Without miners, you'd have no ships!" Miners claim to be altruistic. But they never stop thinking about money--and RMT.
Ilithyia Borgia > incorrect
Ilithyia Borgia > you cannot sell isk
Ilithyia Borgia > rmt is violation of the eula and tos
Ilithyia Borgia > in short - isk has no real world value
Bull of Doom > it's done regaurdless
Bull of Doom > it's illegal to be a terrorist too, but you're still doing it
A new possibility emerges from the sandbox: What if EVE players merely "roleplayed" as RMT'ers? That excuse probably wouldn't go very far. SOMER Blink only got away with it for a couple years.
Ilithyia Borgia > but it is not possible for me to "literally" harm you in any way
Bull of Doom > fear and terror
Ilithyia Borgia > of what exactly?
Bull of Doom > the fear of losing my ship
Bull of Doom > the villagers are just trying to make a living, but ISIS offers "protection"
Bull of Doom > the villagers refuse to support ISIS, for obvious reasons, and ISIS kills them
Bull of Doom > You are ISIS
Of course, plenty of misguided individuals claim to be the legitimate government of a particular territory. We don't need to worry about that in highsec. The New Order's legitimacy has been established beyond any reasonable doubt or criticism. The Code reflects the will of the people. Key word: People. The daffy bot-aspirants complain about this even as they aspire to become something that cannot vote!

30 comments:

  1. I found this in a code agent's bio:

    TEN COMMANDMENTS

    1. You shall accept James 315 as the only savior of Highsec and your Lord.
    2. You shall reject any other Highsec leaders.
    3. You shall not make wrongful use of his name.
    4. You shall refrain from excessive mining, especially on Saturdays and Sundays.
    5. You shall honor and respect CCP. You shall not bother them with your petitions and lamentations.
    6. You shall not kill another Highsec citizen. Unless he’s a carebear, in which case slay the bastard!
    7. You shall not be whoring on the kill mails of his agents.
    8. You shall not steal his ore and ice. You shall only mine with a valid mining permit.
    9. You shall refrain from false accusations of his agents.
    10. You shall not be hoarding ISKs. In particular, you shall not be botting or AFK mining.


    Since it was filled with inaccuracies, I decided to correct it. The corrected version is below:

    1. You shall not accept James 315 as your lord, for he is a false lord who offers a false product and will lead you astray.
    2. You shall accept others to lead you, unless you lead yourself.
    3. You shall spit on his name, make light of him, and insult him. Do as well unto his agents.
    4. You shall mine to your hearts content, especially on Saturdays and Sundays.
    5. You shall disrespect the new order and petition CCP for every offense they commit. You shall petition CCP for reimbursement of ganking losses.
    6. You shall not kill another Highsec citizen. Unless he's a code agent, in which case slay the bastard!
    7. You shall whore in on concord's kill mails when they take an agent's ship away.
    8. You shall mine all the ore and ice you want. You do not need a permit to take what is free.
    9. You shall make accusations against his agents, true or false doesn't matter.
    10. You shall horde your ISKs and mine AFK all day.
    11. You shall play the game as you wish and spit on the code agents who tell you otherwise.

    Enjoy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dywisa, "N"August 12, 2015 at 6:36 PM

      I love the 11th commandment ! SO. TRUE.

      Delete
    2. TL;DR

      Let me sum up for you BH. "Grrrr Code, Grrr"

      Delete
    3. Did not read, but i bet it is just m trying to be clever, and failing like a true AG salt mine.

      Delete
    4. "Did not read, but i bet it is just m trying to be clever, and failing like a true AG salt mine."

      AGers are constitutionally incapable of being clever.

      Delete
    5. Anon 10:30PM: I hate to break this to you, but I am not M and I don't know who M is. I am Butthurt Miner.

      Delete
    6. The first part was awesome. Did not read the second part

      Delete
    7. BM's post reads like auto-generated text. I feel a real human would be more creative.

      Delete
    8. I hope Butthurt Miner gives this letter five minutes of his precious cappuccino-sipping, cancer-stick-puffing time. The nitty-gritty of what I'm about to write is this: Butthurt recently made the astonishing claim that he has the experience, ideas, leadership, and integrity to move our nation forward. Stripped of all its hyperbole, this statement is really just saying that Butthurt has announced his intentions to shame the poor into blaming themselves for losing the birth lottery. While doing so may earn Butthurt a gold star from the mush-for-brains priggism crowd, if he truly wanted to be helpful, Butthurt wouldn't turn once-flourishing neighborhoods into zones of violence, decay, and moral disregard. Butthurt's loony-bin crew is a postmodernist, splenetic institution if there ever was one. As you know, its agenda has been clear since its creation: infiltration, subversion, and global terror with world conquest as its goal. Stopping it mandates that we always keep one thing in mind, that Butthurt says that national-security interests can and should be sidestepped whenever his personal interests are at stake. This is at best wrong. At worst, it is a lie. Let me end this letter by telling Butthurt Miner that I fully intend to prevent the Butthurt-induced catastrophe I foresee and save our nation from its time of deepest humiliation and disgrace. This action is lawful. This action is moral. And this action is right.

      Delete
    9. @Anon 2:03PM
      I'm sorry, but I think you have confused me with Donald Trump.

      BM

      Delete
  2. So I did a little studying and it turns out the writing on the Isis flag says quote "Get code compliant today, permits 10 million isk".

    ReplyDelete
  3. @Butthurt Miner
    Since your version is riddle with inaccuracies, I shall correct your version.

    1. You shall accept James 315 as the duly elected Saviour of Highsec, acknowledging His Ascension by unanimous election by the Citizens Of Highsec in a poll conducted on or before June 20, 2012.

    2. You shall reject all other leaders with the exception of The Mittani, who reigns as the Eternal Chairman of the CSM.

    3. You shall spit on those without permits, but you shall especially spit on the subhuman Anons, who dare not reveal their names for fear that the Word of James 315 will strike them down.

    4. You shall not mine unless permitted by a New Order Agent, and Saturdays and Sundays are days that should be spent ganking miners who would otherwise mine on these days.

    5. You shall petition CCP if you feel that you have been wrongly ganked, and you shall post any correspondence that CCP responds with on Minerbumping.com.

    6. Highsec Citizens are not people, with the sole exception of James 315 and Agents of the New Order. Highsec Citizens are content, and they deserve to be consumed as content until they learn how to not be content.

    7. You shall assist the New Order in Code enforcement by pulling Concord after a successful gank, so that New Order Agents' GCCs may reset to allow them to perform Code enforcement more quickly.

    8. All Highsec resources are reserved soley for the benefit of James 315 and the New Order. Miners are not allowed to utilize them except under the sole authority of James 315 Himself or one of His Agents.

    9. Carebears are the only individuals worthy of accusation. Their shifty and ragey behaviors mark them as worthy to be deleted, due to their poor life choices and lack of vision. This is, unless they purchase New Order Mining Permits™ and then they may only be tolerated as long as they follow the Code.

    10. Hoarding ISK is a waste of time, as EVE has no levelling system and more isk makes you no more powerful than having no isk.

    11. You shall spit on Butthurt Miners who are capable of doing nothing, producing nothing, fighting nothing, and are helpless in every way, and recognize that the only way you can help them grow is by mercilessly killing them, over and over, until they realize that mining is the worst waste of time and biggest sins in EVE Online.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dywisa, "N"August 12, 2015 at 6:57 PM

      Ming, may i remind you the fact you're going AGAINST the very 4th commandment you're telling ? Lurking in your station, doing nothing and not ganking either does not help enforcing that 4th rule.

      Plus, you really fit into the "Butthurt Miner" definition in your very 11th rule : just like them, you are doing nothing, producing nothing, fighting nothing, and helpless in every way. Your fear of ganking is proof enough.

      Delete
    2. M-anon is trying to hide behind his new alt, N-anon. So many tears he had to start an alt to help with the overflow. That is some butthurt miner there!
      ;) love the tears

      Delete
    3. Dywisa, "N"August 12, 2015 at 11:50 PM

      @Anon 10:20
      I'm afraid you've got it all wrong. Didn't you read ? According to Ming, i'm supposed to be "Elsa". And i'm still waiting for him to explain why i'm Elsa. I'd be curious to see the forged proofs !

      Yes Anon 10:20, you are right : tears. Tears of laughter, obviously !

      Delete
    4. Yawn. More NO bullshit. However, I must point out that if you follow #5, you may get visit from CCP as you are not to publish any communications between yourself and/or others and CCP. That is a EULA/TOS violation.

      EvE Online Terms of Service Read #18.

      Now, reading this, I see agents being guilty of #1, #3, and #4. Alot of the ganking victims featured on here would be guilty of #2.

      Just saying.

      Delete
    5. Do you make a habit of giving free legal advice, space lawyer?

      Delete
    6. @Butthurt Miner
      You understand the intention of Article 5 completely. It is the intention of the New Order to expel bot-aspirants from Eve Online: A game that they are not worthy to play, by any means necessary, and it is preferred that we provide content to the game at large while we fulfill our holy mission.

      Delete
    7. @Ming
      Then the new order will run afoul of #29, and I quote "You will not encourage others to break these rules or any rules set forth in relation to EVE Online’s game service or web site."

      Besides, the new order are TRYING to be dictators. Now you are trying to say that certain people are not worthy to play a video game. So you are saying that people are not free to play a game they may enjoy, unless they play it the way that you want them to play it. Sounds like the new order is a bunch of fascist dictators to me.

      BM

      Delete
  4. Methinks Bull of Doom has some perception issues he needs to work through.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Man it's kinda sad to see how skewed some people's (bull of doom and those like him) perception of reality is. If they weren't miners I'd feel sorry for them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You should feel sorry for them because they are miners. Can you imagine how mindnumbing that is? Thats why they all act like the crybears posting in these comments.
      Braindead, and rabid.

      Delete
  6. TIL that making pixels go boom in a game is exactly the same as cutting off a persons head because they have a slightly different imaginary friend in the sky or no imaginary friend in the sky at all

    ReplyDelete
  7. Love reading up on carebear tears!!!!

    Another victory for the code

    ReplyDelete
  8. "Bull of Doom > CODE's permits are a scam, as you gank regaurdless of permit status
    Bull of Doom > which is basically what ISIS does
    Bull of Doom > so you are ISIS"

    When did the Islamic State begin issuing mining permits? >.>

    ReplyDelete
  9. If ISIS are handing out mining permits in game..... They deserve our support.
    If Adolf Hitler is handing out mining permits from his hiding place in argentina he deserves our support.

    The new order does not discriminate contact an agent today.

    ReplyDelete
  10. As much as I enjoy writing letter after letter about Bot Aspirant Miner, the fact remains that Bot Aspirant should get off her high horse. Allow me now to offer you an exemplum of how improvident Bot Aspirant can be: I respect open discourse and robust debate and maintain that society should remain open to a broad range of ideas and opinions as a way to create the best conditions for discovering the truth. That said, I do claim that we are observing the change in our society's philosophy and values from freedom and justice to corruption, decay, cynicism, and injustice. All of these “values” are artistically incorporated in one person: Bot Aspirant Miner.

    Bot Aspirant's older sallies were vilipensive enough. Her latest ones are doubtlessly beyond the pale. One can examine this from another angle and plainly see that Bot Aspirant uses Leninism to egg on negative externalities in the form of evasion, collusion, and corruption. That's the large elephant in the room that nobody talks about. Nevertheless, I really allege that people really ought to start talking about it because then they'd realize that when Bot Aspirant stated that disgraceful crackpots are the most oppressed people in our society, I concluded that she was utterly iconoclastic. Now that she claims that two wrongs make a right, I contend that she's crossed the line into post-rationalist neo-Hegelianism.

    Bot Aspirant keeps missing my point. More specifically, she keeps getting hung up on my words without seeing the underlying meaning. For example, when I say that our sacred values and traditions mean nothing to Bot Aspirant, Bot Aspirant seems incapable of realizing that what I'm really getting at is that she manipulates public opinion through raw emotion, sexual desire, “family values”, comedy, music, entertainment, false religion, social engineering, journalistic propaganda, and junk science. For proof of this fact I must point out that there is a cult of ignorance among her understrappers, and there always has been. The point is that Bot Aspirant's detestable prevarications aren't something we can safely ignore. Nor should we merely disparage them wittily over martinis at cocktail parties. No, we must solve our problems over a negotiating table instead of resorting to the battlefield. That's the only way to educate the public about how Bulverism is like fire—both an essential component of Bot Aspirant's refrains and yet so elemental that its existence and influence are often overlooked. Similarly, Bulverism can burn badly and destroy if one neglects to consider that Bot Aspirant has allowed herself to become a spokeswoman for the same point of view shared by nettlesome bourgeoisie, sappy personæ non gratæ, and the worst sorts of myopic, brainless ninnies there are while masquerading as an outspoken radical bucking the system. In closing, Bot Aspirant Miner is devoid of all social conscience.

    ReplyDelete
  11. "SOMER Blink only got away with it for a couple years."

    Dropping the Realtalk™ there, I see.

    ReplyDelete

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