Wednesday, August 26, 2015

The Newbie Brothers, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Bellatrix Invicta's impressive performance in a spirited round of PvP earned her the chance to chat with two new players, NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers and Eskobar Troyun. The newbies were filled with questions and concerns about the game, which Bellatrix handled admirably. NightStalkerTheSecond, still smarting over his Retriever loss, asked in exasperation why he wasn't allowed to AFK mine in peace.
Bellatrix Invicta > But why have no risk for your ISK?
Bellatrix Invicta > What are you going to do with it?
Bellatrix Invicta > Mining fleet to get more ISK?
Bellatrix Invicta > Then what?
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > hmmmmmm
Ideally, there comes a time in every highsec miner's life when he asks himself, "Why bother grinding isk for isk's sake?" One of the many services provided by the New Order is that we force miners to confront this important issue.

The miner was faced with the most crucial decision of his EVE career. Would he continue to mindlessly pile up small amounts of isk? Or would he take a step back, realize his folly, and start playing the game for real?

Bellatrix sincerely cared about the miner's future. She wanted to maximize the miner's chance to actually have fun in EVE. To do that, she would need to break through his overwhelming greed for easy isk. It was time for an impassioned plea.
Bellatrix Invicta > See, I play Eve to make spaceships explode. I don't care where they are.
Bellatrix Invicta > Some folks play to shoot the rocks that are used to make the spaceships I blow up.
Bellatrix Invicta > That's cool. Just don't expect safety anywhere.
Bellatrix Invicta > I used to think like you, about 3 years ago.
Bellatrix Invicta > Then I got ganked, just like you did.
Bellatrix Invicta > Then I quit for a year.
Bellatrix Invicta > Came back, joined New Order Logistics and have had fun every day since.
The Agent spoke with urgency and eloquence. She'd given the miner everything he needed to make a sane, rational decision. Now she could only wait for an answer.
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > i expect the great james to understand but i guess not. how was he elected, or is this a dictatorship were hes the only canidate
Bellatrix Invicta > He was voted in by proxy via every citizen of Highsec.
Bellatrix Invicta > Well, might be you could send James 315 an email. Let him know what we said. Maybe send him this chat. He does reply.
Bellatrix Invicta > He might be able to show you something I haven't.
In spite of everything, NightStalkerTheSecond was still hung up on the fact that I control highsec, as though it's some kind of problem. He wouldn't focus on the matter at hand--his own future!
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > i'm gonna come clean
Bellatrix Invicta > Better than dirty, I guess.
It didn't look good for the miner. Bellatrix already felt sorry for him.
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > i despise people like you i'm gonna run for this savior of high sec whatever its called run your kind out high sec cus i believe high sec is a haven for all no matter their profession no matter how long you play no matter how they mine that isn't...
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > for you to judge or anyone else!
The miner had made his decision. He was a rebel. His bottled-up rage was finally poured out for all to see.
Bellatrix Invicta > Actually, it is.
Bellatrix Invicta > I judged you as my inalienable right.
Bellatrix Invicta > And since Highsec is a haven for everyone, I'll stay right. here.
Bellatrix Invicta > No matter their profession, right?
Bellatrix Invicta > And since my profession flies in the face of yours, we create content.
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > yes, you are welcome to stay here as long as you don't rampage about on a witch hunt killing all the miners
Earlier, he had appeared calm. But it was clear that the miner had, in fact, not calmed down.
Bellatrix Invicta > So, go ahead and think you're doing something unique and special and then realize you're #7843 in line for that exact hope. So many have come before you and will continue to because your kind last about 8 days.
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > 7843 that's alot you have made an enemy and it looks like i have lots of alot of allies
Bellatrix Invicta > Yeah. Lots of "allies" who don't target us, who don't fight us, who run and hide when we warp in system.
The carebear entertained wild delusions of organizing highsec miners into a successful resistance movement.
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > ill be making 7843 emails tonight
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > i will they hide because they are alone and they fear you guys and thats not how you win votes
Bellatrix Invicta > 1. Fear is good. 2. They're alone due to their own fault. 3. Voting is over!
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > we will see about that cus if voting is over then what happens when there is a revolution
It was going to be a revolution, said the miner. He demanded his right to run for the office of Saviour of Highsec. You, miner, are no James 315. I make it look easy.
Bellatrix Invicta > There have been a number of them.
Bellatrix Invicta > We're still here.
Bellatrix Invicta > And now, more miners need to be judged. I will see you around.
There were times when the newbie miner seemed close to waking from his bot-aspirant slumber. He remained fast asleep, for now. Not every carebear can be rescued on the first attempt. Perhaps all he needs is another good push.


  1. And I was holding out such hope for them.

    James, good luck in the next election for Savior! You have stiff competition I see.

  2. Oh and anyone else getting visions of the "I didn't vote for him" bit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail?

  3. And push him I shall, Savior.

    Miners of New Eden, this is your future if you choose to ignore the Code. The Code cannot be stopped; it always wins. I embody the Code; I always win.

    Try as you might you will never have your moment in the highsec you imagine. Highsec is under the jurisdiction and protection of the Code. Nothing can or will ever change that. It is upon you, miner, to adapt.

    Or die.

    1. I have been in contact with this rebel corporation and I believe with a little finesse I can get them Compliant. We shall see.

  4. The CODE and their Goon allies can be stopped! But we have to unite together!

    Freedom is not free! Independence is a luxury!

    Last night an entire TNT defense fleet was wiped out by our rebellion.
    Battle Report:

    Join us in our just cause! Help us overthrow the goons and their pets!

    1. TenackAcki of Nakota Shipyards, Miner, calm down.

    2. Can fight them... or you can tank your ships? Or something? CODE. doesn't normally bother with me despite my lack of permit, typically because it's not worth the effort to gank my ships when I fly around in highsec. Sure, they've tried once or twice but since I actually tank my ships (in more ways than one. It's hard to hit something if it's dual-prop and can get a ton of transversal really quickly, and they only have so long to kill it) it doesn't really affect anything.

      Of course, I might just be lucky. I rarely fly around in highsec anymore as it is; mostly I do nullsec fleet warfare and torpedo/interdiction sphere delivery in wormhole space. Not as an avoidance measure (I know a lot of carebears try to run to w-space thinking it's "safe". Which I encourage them to do, I need more kills), but simply because that's Eve and it's fun to play the game that way. It's not safe - in fact it's quite risky as I can easily lose the ships I have and get podded out of the hole I was camping (which makes reshipping to try again difficult). But that's why it's fun. Nobody cares about the stories of a guy who shot rocks for five hours; but people have liked to hear the story of how once, while scouting out connections in my bomber, I found a hostile sabre on the other side of a wormhole and just *barely* escaped, warping right by him and getting decloaked as his bubble went up - effectively giving him the middle finger as he was stuck and now had zero chances of catching me. Or that time I was bubbling a hostile supercap fleet and had a hostile Titan jump in three kilometers from me, etc, etc.

      The point is, Eve has these great stories. Sure... miners make it possible. But I'd rather have a story about that time I was mining with my alliance and we got dropped and we fucking murdered every last one of the attacking ships, than just say "yeah we mined for five hours while watching netflix, then we autopiloted a freighter to Jita and sold the ore." First one is exciting, the second one is boring; and if I had to play Eve so that the second one was how I had to play it every day, I'd probably quit.

      Eve is risky. But don't just accept that risk, embrace it. If you do, I think you'll find a much more nuanced, much more involved, and much more fun game is out there than you'd ever have imagined.

    3. That's a really cool battle report but I have to ask... What the heck does that have to do with this blog or high sec?

    4. Everything. The New Order was conceived in Null and born in Highsec. It's death will be no different.

      Nullsec is a safe haven for rebels who fight back.

    5. Don't forget that a great deal of CODE isk comes from Goons. We all saw the monster donation a month ago right after Burn Amarr.

    6. No man, no. They are literally the same players. Just different toons.

    7. Grrr Everything I Don't Like == GOONS!!!1

  5. not sure if anyone else noticed this yet, but NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers was already featured in Miner Grab Bag 83 just back in July :)

    1. No, that would require them reading their own blog.

    2. Well, yes, of course we know that. You don't think we simply write off the miners who get truculent or uppity, do you?


  6. But where was anti-ganking to save him

  7. He wants to run for savior of high sec? Doesn't he realize that James has a lifetime appointment?

    1. I think he's planning to form an anarcho-syndicalist commune.


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