Monday, August 17, 2015

The New Order Is Everything in History

Disaster averted! Highsec narrowly escaped calamity when Agent Tisiphone Dira successfully intercepted dryden01's Astero. Upon destroying the ship, Tisiphone also eliminated the rebel's billion isk pod. Despite dryden01's treachery, Tisiphone extended an olive branch to the carebear by telling him to buy a permit.


dryden01 claimed total ignorance of the Code. With breathtaking succinctness, Tisiphone caught him up on the last three years of EVE.


He didn't take the news well. He voted for the other guy, I guess.


The stubborn carebear dug in his heels. He vowed to continue losing implants while AFK.


Sensing that he was losing the argument, dryden01 shifted gears. He insisted the only reason he wasn't calm is that he was in a big hurry, having suffered a stroke IRL.


Now all the carebear's personal problems, accumulated over the course of a lifetime, were laid at Tisiphone Dira's feet. That's what happens when you pod someone in highsec.


Note the carebear's weasel words here: If he had been warned, he "may have moved on". Sort of like the guy who says, "I was going to buy a permit, but then you killed me, so now I never will." At any rate, dryden01 jumped from Al Capone forward to ISIS. dryden01 called them by their preferred abbreviation, IS. If only he had shown such deference to the New Order and its Agents.


The carebear continued to drift toward the rebel camp. His loyalty to the New Order was in serious doubt.


From the deserts of Iraq and Syria, dryden01 now leaped back to the mobsters of old, with their Tommy guns and proxy votes.


Scarcely had the carebear taken a swig of prohibition-era moonshine when he hit fast forward again!


But dryden01 abandoned "Hitler style" before too long. He took a quick detour through space, if not time.


Then the carebear changed his mind once again, returning to the Axis powers.


Tisiphone could barely keep up with all the excuses and historical allusions. The fact was that dryden01 had violated the Code and paid the price. Such is the fate of all who oppose us. Every highsec rebel will be brought to justice, no matter where--or when--they choose to hide.

34 comments:

  1. Masterly stuff from Tisi; desperate floundering from - who was it this time? Never mind.

    And of course sparkling wit from our very own James 315!

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  2. If that convo had gone on any longer, he would have run out historical figures to compare CODE to, and would had to resort to Sauron and Emperor Palpatine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahaha, my head would've exploded!

      Delete
    2. He forogt the Spanish Inquisition....

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    3. Your head would have only exploded because YOU ARE JAMES 315. ADMIT IT NOW YOU ARE JAMES AND WE ALL KNEW IT ALL ALONG.

      I KNEW IT ALL ALONG, JOHN. CAN'T HIDE FOREVER.

      Delete
  3. Nazi's, IS, and Stalin... that guy was all over the road with accusations.

    ReplyDelete
  4. dryden01 is actually a time traveler and all allusions made were things he personally had experience with, and they constantly eat at his mind.

    If only he could time-hop a week back and become code compliant.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Looks like Antiganking failed - Again XD

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  6. One Word - The Code ALWAYS Wins!!!!!

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  7. Well, this post is proof of jamie's and the new order's lies...jamie claimed his election was unanimous, but whatever fool wrote this article seems to have forgotten that with his comment..."He didn't take the news well. He voted for the other guy, I guess."...

    ReplyDelete
  8. "Every highsec rebel will be brought to justice, no matter where--or when--they choose to hide."

    I get all goose-pimply when the Savior (peace be upon Him) makes such stirring statements!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dywisa, "N"August 17, 2015 at 10:35 PM

      I hope Jamie is not not making empty threats, just like Ming does ! :)

      Delete
    2. Come back and tell me about "empty threats" when you have more than a single rookie ship on your killboard, scrub.

      Delete
    3. Dywisa, "N"August 18, 2015 at 2:27 AM

      Ming, calm down. :)

      You sure talk a lot about the superiority of the "code", but that's all you are capable of : talking. That makes you a living empty threat. :)

      Unlike me, you don't undock to pursue your objectives. :)

      Oh by the way, i'm still waiting your explanation on why i'm "Elsa". :)

      Delete
    4. @Dywisa
      I don't want to start calling pots and kettles black, but...
      Even by miner logic, which as we all know, is the worst logic by which one can make decisions, the art of undocking can only be proven by the presence of a killboard. The lack of such a killboard necessarily means you don't undock.

      So In other (your) words,
      If you undocked, at all you would have kills on your killboard. Since you have no killboard activity, you don't actually undock. And you cannot provide any proof to the contrary.

      Class dismissed.

      Delete
    5. Dywisa, "N"August 18, 2015 at 7:06 PM

      Let me remind you of a little something : i only "gank" rocks that don't shoot back. And unfortunately they don't show on a killboard. Fortunately, i mean, because that would be quite the effective intel, but that's not the point.

      I would be quite the suspicious miner if i had lots of kills, don't you think ?
      Or perhaps my lack of losses disturbs you ?

      No, in fact, you can't accept the fact i've been smart enough to avoid any succesful gank attempt (as of today). That is the most disturbing for you :)

      But if you wish, i can mine in your system, right under your very nose. That will prove i actually undock. And since you won't undock, i risk nothing at all :)

      Delete
    6. This just in: Dywisa thinks people care about him/her/it. More at 11.

      Delete
    7. Dywisa, "N"August 18, 2015 at 8:51 PM

      Just like Ming thinks people care about a non-agent preaching something he does not do himself :)

      Delete
  9. Usually a killmail is posted with articles such as this. Not this time though. Makes me wonder if it was made up. So how about it Jimmy Boy, give us the killmail or you are a poser like the rest.

    BM - Posted anon because I am too lazy to log in right now.

    PS: To my adoring secret admirer (You know who you are). I still have those pictures of you banging your mom's corpse, doggy style even. But hey, who am I to judge? I hear it's very chick to be into an older woman these days.

    BM


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The links to the KMs are in the first paragraph. I know attention to detail isn't an AG strength, but come on...

      Delete
    2. That nastly little BM. Projecting his secret fantasies again.
      He so easy!

      Delete
    3. @Anon 1:37 AM
      Really? Is that all that you got? Come on, what is wrong with you? I was trying to groom you to join me in the ranks of the elite shitposting trolls. How can you even call yourself a troll with a post like that? And now you go and disappoint me. I had faith in you. I BELIEVED in you. I know you can do it. I know you have at least one more good troll left in you so it's not too late. Of course, if you shot your wad, then I guess it's time to find another protege.

      BM

      Delete
  10. I sleep well at night, knowing that Agent Tisi is patrolling the proverbial streets of Highsec.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ugh, I just hate it when people don't bother to vote and then spend their time complaining about the guy who got voted in...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But that is nowhere near as bad as not properly publicizing the event so he could stuff the ballot box with all those fake proxies he made up...that election is a really bad joke, not to mention another lie...

      Delete
    2. Miners aren't even at the keyboard... How could they possibly be expected to vote?

      Delete
    3. @Anon2:28
      Are you kidding?

      Notice was placed everywhere, on anchored cans. In the very belts that you were AFK mining in. James 315 reached out to you, specifically.

      You ignored him. And you ignored the vote. And now he's Saviour of Highsec and you're just another anonymous butthurt miner, living under New Order rule.

      Sounds like everything is right with the universe.

      Delete
  12. Is there going to be another election next year?

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    Replies
    1. Nah. The office of Supreme Protector is held for 100 years.

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    2. 1000 years, actually.

      1000 years of victory.

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    3. We do need a vote soon, just so we can reaffirm our belief in James' message.
      No absentee ballots.
      Jame wins by default

      Delete
  13. I have to admit - I voted for the other guy. But democracy is democracy. James 315 won fair and square.

    ReplyDelete

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