Friday, January 25, 2019

Don't Paint Yourself into a Corner

Carebears, anyone in the New Order will tell you that it's vitally important to buy a mining permit and obey the Code. But the rebels and skeptics out there claim the opposite. Anti-Gankers swear up and down that you're better off if you disobey the Code.

So how do we know who's telling the truth? Let's look at a case study--the life of someone who chose the path of the anti-Code rebel.

Gunnar Armer signed up for EVE a long time ago, but he's never enjoyed it. He's a miner and a hauler. He started "playing" in 2011. The Anti-Gankers would call him a new player.
Calm Down Freighter > hi
Calm Down Freighter > ransom is 1b
Calm Down Freighter > pay or die
Gunnar Armer > i have to log in other toon to get it
Gunnar chose to rebel against the Code. He never bought a permit. Instead, he autopiloted his Orca into the Niarja system, where it was bump-tackled by a member of Cohenberg's Ethical Hauling.
Gunnar Armer > give me a moment
Calm Down Freighter > tick tock
Gunnar Armer > loggin in now
Gunnar Armer > sending
When Gunnar returned to his keyboard, he found himself in a terrible situation. This never would have happened if he had complied with the Code. Alas, his disobedience cost him a billion isk. So much more expensive than a mining permit.
Gunnar Armer > sent
Gunnar Armer > let me go please
Calm Down Freighter > okay
Bob Painter > hi
Bob Painter > im fc
Immediately after paying the ransom, Gunnar found himself in the clutches of Bob Painter. Out of the frying pan and into the paint.

Now it was up to Bob Painter and his friends from Painter Freight Services to decide Gunnar's fate. And they hadn't been paid.
Bob Painter > 1b more to me and you can go
Gunnar Armer > im out of money now
Bob Painter > don't lie
Gunnar Armer > i only have 20 mil left
Bob Painter > send that
The miner who chooses to buy a permit and obey the Code is a miner who has taken control of his own destiny. The alternative isn't so pleasant.
Gunnar Armer > you wont let me go
Gunnar Armer > i already gave you 1 bil
Bob Painter > send or die
Gunnar Armer > sent what i have left
Bob Painter > trhanks
Gunnar Armer > let me go please
Gunnar thought that by avoiding his responsibilities under the Code, he could save himself some money. Anti-Code resistance, however, is far more costly. Always.
Gunnar Armer > I have had arough week
Gunnar Armer > got eveicted
Gunnar Armer > form our hole
Bob Painter > don't care
Gunnar Armer > niggers
When Gunnar's second ransom payment failed to secure his freedom, things came into focus. Gunnar was a Goofus. And he no longer felt like hiding it.
Gunnar Armer > i will be gexercising those kill rights
Gunnar Armer > you dont know who you fucked with nigger
Gunnar Armer > I paid you and yo ucouldnt be honorable
Gunnar Armer > fags
Gunnar Armer > your so cool
Gunnar Armer > pussies
Gunnar revealed his true self. Now it made perfect sense why he hadn't obeyed the Code. His was a life of bad decisions.

Code violations kill Orcas. Billions worth of cargo--including unlicensed mining equipment--went up in smoke.
Gunnar Armer > you pick on haulers cause yo ucant fight real challenges
Bob Painter > gf
Gunnar Armer > nigger
Gunnar Armer > was no fight
Gunnar Armer > I paid your ransome and you nigger out
The vile bot-aspirant spat venom at those who had defeated him. Non-compliance gave birth to death.
Bob Painter > you seem upset
Gunnar Armer > fuckingfaggot fuck
Gunnar Armer > quesesrs
Gunnar Armer > you guys are fuckin dead
Gunnar Armer > i will killing you gank fleet for all of 2019
Gunnar Armer > fucking fags
The miner vowed to commit terrible acts of revenge all year long. Ironically, for a miner, living well is the best revenge. And the only way to live well in highsec is to obey the Code.

So there you have it--the fate of a miner who chose to resist the Code. Who wants to be like Gunnar the Goofus?


  1. All the freighter pilot had to do was graciously give our Agents the ISK he owed them, and they would have set him free.

    It's almost as though he wanted to die.

    A job well done \0/

  2. Replies
    1. Of course, it's made up from a Kenny

  3. Supposedly Jame wrote: "anyone in the New Order will tell you that it's vitally important to buy a mining permit and obey the Code."

    No, it's not. I've made several billion isk in the month of January mining in various high security systems, and have never paid an bogus extortion fee to a CHODE. slave. Nor have I ever been ganked by a CHODE. slave.
    Jamey truly is irrelevant to the vast majority of EO denizens.

    1. Good job, you dont want to be a Kenny

    2. Miner! Every word of you demonstrates how vitally important it is to buy a mining permit and obey the Code.

      Onlookers can examine your case to see that opposing the New Order means gloating about a minuscule income and the irrelevance of a group who's website he visits every day.

      I'd buy a mining permit every hour if it ensured I'd never become this silly.

    3. You're funny Kenny

    4. Keeps you coming back daily to screech hahahahaha.

      Cane toads be croacking daily.

    5. You're funny Kenny

  4. "He started "playing" in 2011. The Anti-Gankers would call him a new player." - comedy gold right there. \o/

  5. "For a miner, living well is the best revenge. And the only way to live well in highsec is to obey the Code."
    That's going on the quotes page.

    That miner was completely evil. Get painted!

  6. That's a lie Kenny, why you lie so much Kenny.

  7. Replies
    1. Yes you're very salty Kenny

    2. AG has finally lost their minds... Kenny?!?

    3. Yeah Kenny, who's AG Kenny? They your friends Kenny?

  8. The only time you respond to a ransom demand or ask for one is if you are buying time for a response fleet lol

  9. Now listen up SPACE THUGS!

    Your time is coming to an end soon. For I have had a vision. A vision where miners can happily afk their hearts out while their brains can slowly decay into a slushy pile of neurons flopping around like a dying fish.

    On Wednesday I will be infiltrating your vile organization and SUBVERTING it from the inside! HA!

    Then all of space will be safe for the space cows to graze upon their ore, along with the millions of actual bots.

    New Eden will then become overrun with ore, prices will collapse, people will have more spaceships than they can ever use and the ENTIRE ECONOMY WILL COLLAPSE!

    Chaos! Despair! Riots! Yea, verily I say unto thee, DOOM shall engulf the Galaxy.

    Then CCP will be forced to do a server reset. New new Eden.

    Then I will be able to step in and begin a Galaxy wide reign of terror culminating with the enslavement of all peoples for my own devious, sweaty, and nefarious purposes.

    Mwahaahah! Mwahahahah! Mwahahaha!

  10. And so the Code revels in showing how it's run by liars with no honor. Purchasing a license just means you are mindless. Because they will not keep their word.


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