The beginning of a new year is a time for self-reflection, self-examination, and self-criticism. No matter how good you are, no matter how close to perfection you appear to be, there's always room for improvement--and growth. That's what New Year's resolutions are all about. In planning for today's post, I considered this to be an excellent opportunity for soul-searching and really digging deep into potential weak spots and problem areas, both for myself as the Saviour of Highsec, and for the New Order as an institution. That way, we can all serve highsec better.
However, the more I thought about it, the more I came to realize that we've got it right. "Keep up the good work" would be a boring post. So I came up with a list of New Year's resolutions for the highsec miners instead. They need help. And I'm always happy to help. Always!
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS 2019
Miners, you should resolve to spend less time mining. The EVE galaxy is a big, beautiful place, and you owe it to yourselves to explore more of what it has to offer.
Miners, you should resolve to dedicate at least one character to the training of suicide ganking. Give this character your training priority. Gank a miner or two and see how it feels.
Miners, you should resolve to spend at least one day each week attempting to explore lowsec, nullsec, and/or wormhole space. The first time you jump out of highsec, you're likely to get your ship blown up in a gate camp. That's okay. Use a cheap, nimble ship and keep trying.
Miners, you should resolve to think less about PvE and more about PvP. EVE isn't about isk-grinding, so neither should you be.
Miners, you should resolve to give more of your money to the Agents of the New Order. Even if you already have a permit. Even if you already own some shares of New Order stock. Be willing to open your wallet and spread the wealth.
Miners, you should resolve to design better fits for your ships. Before you undock, examine each slot on your ship. Consider how to make your ship more effective in PvP. Do your research. Put in the effort.
Miners, you should resolve to improve the attitude you display and the grammar you use when communicating with other EVE players. Be ready to prove that you're not a Goofus like rest of the miners out there.
Miners, you should resolve to give genuine, sincere compliments to our Agents. Don't come up with something general that could apply to anyone; put thought into something specific and personalized. Don't engage in empty flattery; really mean what you say.
Miners, you should resolve to go back and read old MinerBumping posts. Give Netflix a break and get caught up on all the MinerBumping posts you missed. If you've been reading since the beginning and are still somehow a highsec miner, go back and give all the posts a second read.
Miners, you should resolve to imagine yourself as a non-miner. Each day, take at least one definite, concrete step toward making that new person a reality. Get a friend to hold you accountable.
Miners, you should resolve to make a friend.
Miners, you should resolve to tell fewer lies. We know that you didn't go AFK to take care of some emergency. You were being lazy or going to the bathroom. And yes, we know that you didn't wash your hands like you're required to under the New Order Bathroom Protocol and New Order Bathroom Protocol Supplemental. Tell the truth. Better yet, do the right thing so you don't feel the need to lie in the first place.
Miners, you should resolve to become a better person when you're not playing EVE. Most of the problems we have with miners ultimately stem from the fact that highsec miners tend not to be very good people. They bring their personal problems with them into the game. Luckily, our Agents are all great people and have the strength to shoulder the extra burden. To be a better miner, be a better person. Want to know how? Start by reading the Code.
Miners, you should resolve to read the Code. Read the Code. Read the Code.
READ. THE. CODE.
What a wonderful weekend! Spent it mining in various high security systems while also watching NFL football and college basketball on the television. I made over a billion isk in a very relaxed fashion. And not a CHODE. slave to be seen. They truly are irrelevant to the vast majority of EO denizens.ReplyDelete
Your plea for help miner will not go unanswered!Delete
I don't know who you are, but I will look for you, I will find you and I will save you.
Praise James! \o/
You spent all weekend mining to make a bill?Delete
The joke is on you povoanon.
Great post James, as usual. :)ReplyDelete
Miners, you should resolve to tell fewer lies. We know that you didn't go AFK to take care of some emergency. You were being lazy or going to the bathroom. And yes, we know that you didn't wash your hands like you're required to under the New Order Bathroom Protocol and New Order Bathroom Protocol Supplemental. Tell the truth. Better yet, do the right thing so you don't feel the need to lie in the first place.ReplyDelete
Miners, take heed! I recommend keeping a copy of the Code with you at all times, even when you're not playing EVE. You will quickly find yourself becoming a better and more successful person.ReplyDelete
So many helpful suggestions here. You can tell James really does love the miners.ReplyDelete
I'm recruiting for an insurgency fleet if any miners wish to join me in my interpretation of the CODE.ReplyDelete
Your character's name is Veers. Jeeeeez you can't even get that right. And CODE. is the alliance, whereas "The Code" is the law of High Sec put forth by the Saviour of High Sec, James 315.
Not sure how you can interpret anything if you don't have a basic understanding.
Plus isn't "insurgency fleet" and "miners" like a huge oxymoron?
Please remember to give me a gf in local everytime you fail to stop me ganking in rigless meta 1 catalysts.
Shardani failed to stop me as well and we all know what he did to vent his frustration.
The definitive step-by-step guide to being a better EVE player and, by extension, a better human being. How inspiring!ReplyDelete
What a merciful and enlightening post. How can miners hate the Savior when he obviously cares so much for them and Eve as a whole?ReplyDelete