Tuesday, January 29, 2019

Sulking in Kino, Part 1

Some people just don't know how to enjoy EVE.


A member of Purifying Light corp encountered the true purifying light of highsec when a group of Agents ganked her Covetor. This was a cause for celebration--but not everyone was in the mood to party.


Kino should be a happy place; it was one of the very first systems to taste the sweet fruits of the Code. Yet some miners in Kino were quite clearly miserable.


Surri Ren told her fellow miners that ganking in highsec was a violation of several provisions of the EULA. Worryingly, if the miners were at their keyboards, some of them might read local chat and be deceived into believing it.


Someone had to stand up and speak the truth. On this day, it was Agent Minx Mattel.


Minx was one of the gankers who had killed the Covetor. As her fleetmates went in search of another target, Minx stayed behind in Kino to fight the good fight--to educate the ignorant masses.


Space lawyer Surri was joined by Corbin Seaton, another miner. In keeping with internet custom, he brought up the burning of the White House in the War of 1812 at the first mention of Canada. A reference to Canadian coffee chain Tim Hortons couldn't be far off.


Agent Minx aimed to inject some common sense into the conversation. Ganking is allowed in EVE and always has been. Those were the facts.


Surri didn't directly deny the fact that ganking was legal; perhaps the space lawyer sensed she was on shaky ground. As she stood down, Corbin suggested a change in tactics.


Surri dismissed the New Order's unparalleled accomplishments. Now, AFK mining for years on end--that would be revolutionary.


Corbin seethed. The very sight of a killmail was enough to make him angry. But why?


Corbin belonged to a corp with ambition. Naturally, the corp didn't actually pursue any of those ambitions. It planned to do stuff, at some undetermined point in the future. Kind of like how someone will come along and stop the Code "eventually".


Though one source of Corbin's frustration was obvious, Minx still couldn't understand what was bothering these miners so much. She set a new goal for herself: Diagnose the root of the miners' problems and figure out a way to sell them mining permits. Their very future in EVE was at stake.

To be continued...

21 comments:

  1. Minx Mattel: "We gank ALL ships we find."

    Yet another hypocritical admission from a chode. slave that Jamey's extortion fees errr mining permits are bullshit.

    chode. = Hypocrites.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Silly miner. If you read the Code you'd know that if the miner is following it, we won't find him or her cause she'd warp off and dock up when we come into local.

      James has written entire articles about this very subject. If you have read it you just don't get it do you. You're mind has grown dull from staring at rocks all day long.

      But we know what this really is. You posting here every day...

      It's a plea for help.

      I hope our agents can find you soon before we loose you completely.

      Praise James!

      Delete
    2. Chodeanon sure needs help, right Kenny?

      Delete
    3. NOL Agend wrote: "Silly miner. If you read the Code you'd know that if the miner is following it, we won't find him or her cause she'd warp off and dock up when we come into local. "

      So no need for a mining permit then. More hypocrisy by Jamey and his chode. slaves.

      Delete
    4. Poor sad Chodeanon.

      Delete
    5. Why so bitter Kenny? Did you get ganked Kenny?

      Delete
    6. Kenny you so salty.
      You should play rust Kenny.

      Delete
  2. Just wait until CHODE anon finds out the truth about Wingspan Delivery Service - he is gonna be really upset!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah... cos wingspan are relevant.

      Delete
    2. You dont like wingspans Kenny?

      Delete
  3. What? You burned the White House in 1812?
    Were they AFK?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I know for a fact that Surri Ren doesn't really believe ganking is a rule violation. I've already educated her myself on that matter. Surri is one of those rebels who feigns ignorance in the hope of wasting an Agent's time. Kind of like those miners who say "keep bumping me and you won't be able to bump somebody else." Luckily we need something to do anyway while GCC. Agent Mattel smartly picked up the teachable moment and ran with it.

    Surri Ren has been a member of LAWN (Imperium) for six months but still goes slumming in highsec. What's up with that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You sound upset Kenny.
      Please don't cry Kenny.

      Delete
    2. more proof that the imperium is trash, i dont know why the 5 active miniluv people stay.

      Delete
    3. Why anybody would do that is retarded.
      But they whine and moan wherever they mine.

      Miners are literally greedy shitbags and everybody should shoot one daily.

      Delete
    4. Why so salty Kenny

      Delete
  5. Kennyanon got ganked. XD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww poor Kenny
      You a salty one Kenny

      Delete
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    ReplyDelete

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