Wednesday, May 8, 2019

Falling Petals, Part 6

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Alt Aurelia attempted to reason with Lilypetals Makanen, but the miner was too fanatically bot-aspirant. Several days after Alt Aurelia bid her farewell, Lilypetals was ganked in the same system by a different gank squad.


Agent Liek DarZ spoke for the gankers who had triumphed over Lilypetals. Alas, it seemed that the miner still had not read the Code.


The miner continued to believe that our Agents were violating the EULA by enforcing the Code. And a new element was added into the mix: drgneyes Rin.


drgneyes, too, was confident that selling mining permits was a bannable offense. Who was this Goofus?


Lilypetals provided the answer: drgneyes was her previously unidentified girlfriend.


Earlier, Lilypetals explained that she had become radicalized against the mighty CODE. alliance when her unnamed girlfriend was ganked while mining. We now know that it was the loss of this Venture at the hands of Agent Aiko Danuja that set events in motion.


Agent Liek hoped that the destruction of Lilypetals' Procurer would serve to reinforce the lessons that Alt Aurelia had tried to teach. The miner was even more stubborn than anticipated.


Our Agent dropped thermonuclear truth bombs provided by CCP's own New Pilot FAQ. Now, surely, Lilypetals had no excuse to remain in her ignorance.


The miner and her girlfriend struggled to come to grips with the shocking news about PvP being allowed in highsec.


The horrifying truth slowly dawned upon Lilypetals: All of her petitions against Alt Aurelia had been for nothing!


For Lilypetals and her ilk, it was the worst scenario imaginable: Highsec really did belong to the Agents of the New Order--just as they had told her all along.


There was only one thing left for the vindictive miner to do: Quit the game and hope that EVE died as a result of her cancelled subscription.


drgneyes mumbled about the death of EVE. She was lost without Lilypetals.


Lilypetals was gone. But in her place, a stronger, far more beautiful flower began to bloom in the Uttindar system: The flower of our precious Code.

13 comments:

  1. Praise James! The fact that manipulative crybabies aren't rewarded is the basis for many recurring subscriptions.

    Other games' GMs: "Oh, player LilyPetals is in trouble again. She's using gender-related trigger words that our HR department is sensitive about. Better give her a free month and ban that other guy who 'caused' the problem. We frown on controversy here and the squeaky wheel always gets the grease."

    CCP's GMs: "Player LilyPetals is upset at encountering roleplay and PvP in our roleplaying spaceship combat game. She's using a bunch of gender-related trigger words that have nothing to do with anything. Better send her a link to the FAQ. If she's still unhappy she can go pound sand. We savor tears like fine wine here."

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  2. \o/

    Notice how SJWs are oh so quick to accuse of harassment and bullying as soon as anyone counters their silly arguments with logic and truths?

    Also, " thermonuclear truth bombs " - I lol'd

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  3. This may be the most beautiful and glorious series of blog posts to date, up there with TDD and Jtclone. 11/10 strawberries

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  4. I miss her already...

    I like how the SJW called agents "faggots". She's gonna lose her SJW Card for that!

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    Replies
    1. She was obviously calling them bundles of kindling. On behalf of trees and plant fibre everywhere, I am Officially Offended.

      Delete
  5. wait a minute... there's more to this story

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  6. Imagine being as stupid as this hypocritical,lefty miner.

    Wah wah wah.

    Another anti ganking failure.

    ReplyDelete
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  8. Homophobic comments from a woman with a girlfriend. She can't do ANYTHING right...

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  9. And nothing of value was lost.

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  10. Very good article, I really appreciate your article, Thanks for sharing your article.

    ReplyDelete

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