Tuesday, May 28, 2019

A Fruitful Friendship

CODE Permit Enforcer > Hey
Perpetual Void > yo ?
CODE Permit Enforcer > You're being bumped for CODE agents. You must pay the ransom fee or be destroyed.
Perpetual Void > for some hurricanes that wont drop lol?
And so began the dance.


Agent CODE Permit Enforcer's Machariel bump-tackled an unlicensed freighter that dared to show its face in Uedama. Its pilot, Perpetual Void, was given the chance to pay a ransom. But could Perpetual trust this bumper?


CODE Permit Enforcer belonged to Cohenberg's Ethical Hauling, a member of Freighter Friends alliance. In other words, her credentials checked out. Still, in EVE, one must be very careful about ransoms.
Perpetual Void > how much
CODE Permit Enforcer > Considering you're carrying 8-10 billion, the fee is at 2 billion.
CODE Permit Enforcer > Gotta make your choice soon.
Perpetual Void > i dont think you will let me go either way
Perpetual Void > so mide as well
Perpetual Void > finish
Perpetual Void > what you started
The freighter pilot played hardball. First he claimed he was only carrying loot that couldn't drop. Then he pretended he didn't care whether he was ganked or not.
CODE Permit Enforcer > Well, we honor our ransoms as it's much more cost effective
Perpetual Void > i dont beileve that and dont think you will change my mind on that if i new you would let me go
CODE Permit Enforcer > I can vouch in our alliance discord
CODE Permit Enforcer > over 500 people
CODE Permit Enforcer > know our legitimacy
Every ransom negotiation is a dance. But the thing about our Agents is, they're elite dancers. They win every dance--always!
Perpetual Void > then let me dock in jita and ill send the 2 b honor that
Perpetual Void > and you get your money
CODE Permit Enforcer > Nah, you'd just not pay.
CODE Permit Enforcer > You have to pay to be let go
Perpetual Void > see
Perpetual Void > we both doubt each other
It soon became clear that Perpetual had no faith in our Agent, much less the "full faith" that is customarily expected of a carebear.
CODE Permit Enforcer > But you're a nobody
CODE Permit Enforcer > I'm a leader of a 500 man organization
Perpetual Void > lol that you know of
Perpetual Void > also have people to vouch for me but you dont see me telling you that cause that dont matter
Neither side was willing to give an inch. Yet it was not a true stalemate. After all, the Agent had Perpetual tackled, with a gank fleet aimed at his head.
CODE Permit Enforcer > well, you can die knowing you denied the legitimacy of a group with over 5 years of honoring contracts
CODE Permit Enforcer > i'm 100% okay with that
CODE Permit Enforcer > hop onto voice
Perpetual Void > on there
Faced with imminent destruction, the freighter pilot agreed to discuss the matter in voice chat on a Discord server. Only a very limited recording of that conversation exists, and only Perpetual's voice:


We can say a few things about what happened next. First, Perpetual paid CODE Permit Enforcer a ransom of 2 billion isk. Second, at some point after making the payment, Perpetual panicked. Instead of waiting to be released, he attempted to escape by logging off.

Assuming that his freighter was now safe, Perpetual's alt, Bobby Haklar, began to boast.
Bobby Haklar > did you only get 2 bill you expected to get?
Bobby Haklar > damn
Bobby Haklar > sucks
CODE Permit Enforcer > just log back in
CODE Permit Enforcer > i promise ill let you go
Bobby Haklar > hehe fool me once but wont happen again brotha
Perpetual crowed about saving his own freighter. Our Agent instructed the carebear to follow protocol, but he refused.
Bobby Haklar > i have to ask were they close
CODE Permit Enforcer > yeah
Bobby Haklar > at least you paid for the talos's
Bobby Haklar > lol not a bad shindig
CODE Permit Enforcer > not at all
CODE Permit Enforcer > it's amazing
CODE Permit Enforcer > especially when 100% of the loot drops
CODE Permit Enforcer > that makes it super profitable
Perpetual had lost 2 billion isk, but he still felt he'd won. He forgot one thing, though. One very important thing.


The CODE always wins. Always! Even as our Agent was speaking to Perpetual's alt, members of CODE Administration corp responded to the carebear's treachery by ganking the logged-off freighter.
CODE Permit Enforcer > nothing is more satisfying
CODE Permit Enforcer > than ransoming 2 bil
CODE Permit Enforcer > and having them drop all 10
CODE Permit Enforcer > all while eating fried pork sausages
Bobby Haklar > wierd how did you get it was off grid
The carebear was astonished. Obviously he didn't read MinerBumping enough. If he had, he would've known that all good things come to those who obey the Code. Those who disobey only have misery and bitterness to look forward to.
Bobby Haklar > ?
CODE Permit Enforcer > hm?
Bobby Haklar > no worries m8 ill petiion to ccp
Bobby Haklar > enjoy your day
CODE Permit Enforcer > lol
For some reason, Perpetual Void thought that logging off would save his ship, no matter the circumstances. (He's a newbie who only started playing in 2008, after all.)
Bobby Haklar > mechanic abuse
Bobby Haklar > for sure
CODE Permit Enforcer > which mechanic
CODE Permit Enforcer > the one where you closed your client
CODE Permit Enforcer > and tried to exit the game mid fight?
Perpetual's treachery and bot-aspirancy had cost him everything. Now his assets would be used to help spread the Code.
CODE Permit Enforcer > that'd be an interesting thing to bring up to GMs :)
Bobby Haklar > its none of your concern inless the gms make it yours i guess
CODE Permit Enforcer > remember when you said "hehe fool me once but wont happen again brotha"
CODE Permit Enforcer > Apparently i did fool you twice, to stay offline long enough for me to get your freighter
The carebear's act of cowardice only ensured the destruction of his ship. Some might call that irony, while others would say it's karma. Either way, it was justice.
Bobby Haklar > joke i thought was on you cause i thought and was sure i got off grid but thats ok its no worries
Bobby Haklar > that 10 bill is nothing
Bobby Haklar > its pixels my friends
CODE Permit Enforcer > they're my pixels now :)
The lesson here is simple: Have faith in the Agents of the New Order. Trust them. And if you truly trust them, you'll obey the Code and buy a permit before they tackle your freighter in Uedama.

4 comments:

  1. Every carebear thinks he's unique and clever, but they're all the same: dumb and predictably deceitful. He shouted "king me" and crowed victory but then he realized the game was 3D chess. RIP

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bobby Haklar > mechanic abuse
    Bobby Haklar > for sure
    CODE Permit Enforcer > which mechanic
    CODE Permit Enforcer > the one where you closed your client
    CODE Permit Enforcer > and tried to exit the game mid fight?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow. The game even TELLS YOU that if you logoff in space non-safely you are still going to be able to have Hot Sex In Space for several minutes.
    Not the brightest candle on the cake, this freighter idiot.

    ReplyDelete
  4. So if he was going to try and log off, why did he pay the ransom first? Is this the best and brightest of the carebears?

    ReplyDelete

Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.