Sunday, May 26, 2019

Kills of the Week

A new player comes to EVE and wants to know how to become "successful" in the game. Is it by grinding a lot of isk? PLEXing a lot of accounts? Cultivating a green killboard? Friend, the only path to success in EVE is the Code. Obey the Code, and everything will take care of itself. The alternative is total ruin, like that experienced by these Code-violating bot-aspirants from the week of May 19th @ 00:00 EVEtime through May 25th @ 23:59 EVEtime...

Nila Sotken was led astray by the siren song of the Tech III ship. She spent billions on it, but it's clear she didn't know what she was doing. In EVE, knowledge is far more valuable than bling. Agents Ukira Kunero, Rante Charante, and Ariku Orenuk blapped the Tengu with no difficulty.

Bling wouldn't have saved you, Nila, but your ship would've been better tanked if you had equipped these instead of putting them in your cargo.

The Bagodan system claimed another one: Mu4enik lost his 4.4 billion isk Nightmare when he, too, was blapped by a Tornado squad. Agents Ariku Orenuk, Rante Charante, Vlada Inkunen, and Ukira Kunero helped themselves to 2 billion in loot. Carebears, a "travel fit" is incomplete without a pilot--and a permit.

Judging by his Mackinaw fit, Franco DeZario was a deeply troubled, deeply confused miner. If only he spent less time mining in 0.9 security systems and more time reading the Code. How long do you have to spend mining 0.9 asteroids to earn a billion isk, anyway? Agents Lewak, Shadow Cyrilus, and Viirilithizu Ward successfully eliminated another pair of ORE Strip Miners.

ThE BrotherGrIM went into Uedama with an ORE-fit jump freighter. His fate was sealed. The carebear was bound to attract the attention of the Kusion family--which was eager to defend Uedama's honour. Agents Jayson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Josh Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Josiah Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jack Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Jason Kusion, and Caution AsianDrivers Ahead organized a gank fleet and served justice.

RInSan Oriki was too smart to fit her freighter with cargo expanders, and she was too smart to travel to Uedama. So she went to Niarja in a blank-fit freighter. This aroused the ire of the Rackner family, which was equally enthusiastic about defending Niarja's honour. Agents Kirra Rackner, Jemma Rackner, Emily Rackner, Georgia Rackner, Yan Rackner, Rebecca Rackner, Jani Rackner, Kimberly Rackner, Celestia Rackner, Charlotte Rackner, Olivia Rackner, Zoe Rackner, eviserater Adoudel, Ch3st3r CopperPOT, Nemo Hose, Ivy Rackner, Adara Gaea, Phoenix Rackner, hegils, Globby Rackner, and Ashlee Rackner organized a mob--the good kind--and made sure that RInSan's crimes did not go unpunished.

ABDIMA assembled a cyno-fit rookie ship. No one knows whom ABDIMA was hoping to summon. He was ganked by Agent Pod-Goo RepoWoman, who enjoyed ABDIMA's pod for dessert.

No permit, no ship. No implants or cynos, either.


  1. That tengu

    What a wipeout hahahahaha

  2. I love when a republic descends so deep into anarhi that they revolutionize spelling.

  3. patently think marky dragon follows the code


Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.