Thursday, May 9, 2019

Who Is My Friend?

When you enforce the Code as an Agent of the New Order, you meet a lot of interesting people.


Most of them die.


Agent Katy Melons watched a pod autopiloting its way to Jita, so she terminated it. But Katy had no idea what she'd gotten herself into. This time she'd ganked the wrong guy.


How's this for a plot twist? Shadea Kavees was as well-connected as anyone can be in highsec. He was best buds with the CEO of The Conference Elite and the Saviour of Highsec himself.

Yikes!


Katy ignored the provocative tearmail, so a few days later, Shadea updated our Agent with another piece of troubling news: An army of mercenaries was about to descend upon her. Payment had already been arranged. Now what? How was Agent Katy going to get herself out of this mess?


Her answer: the Code. Simply the Code.


Shadea was surprised by how calm Katy was. It was as if the Agent had completely blown off everything he'd just said about hiring mercenaries and knowing powerful people in highsec.


The miner taunted Katy by inviting her to stop him from mining in Bordan--which turns out to be a lowsec system.


...In other words, our Agent had driven the miner out of highsec. Another victory for the New Order!


For all of his bluster, Shadea had been defeated so effortlessly. Agents of the New Order are powerful indeed. But Shadea still had his trump card:


The miner had already mentioned his close personal friendship with the Saviour. Maybe Katy hadn't heard him the first time.


How do you handle a carebear who invokes the name of James 315? By invoking the name of James 315, of course. It's its own counter. It's totally OP.


The miner couldn't help but recoil at the name of the Saviour. He knew he'd been beaten.


When their bot-aspirancy is punished, many a miner will call upon my name. It won't work for them. My Agents know how to identify a true friend of the Saviour of Highsec: All of my friends follow the Code!

13 comments:

  1. I've seen a lot of excuses, accusations and threats in the years of Code enforcement. Unless my memory is failing (which is likely)this is the first time that I've heard a bot aspirant threaten to unleash James 315 against us.

    May James preserve us from such a fate.

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  2. For sure, the name of James 315 is “Totally OP”

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  3. Do these guys really, truly believe this whole "I know powerful ppl in high places who will drop everything and ruin your eve life & all I have to do is make a phone call..." schtick will be believed by Code agents ?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I can't imagine anyone being close friends with holdmybeer and James 315 while simultaneously hating everything they stand for. I also can't imagine a random pubbie miner being able to afford the 300-man livestreaming premium wardec option. Gobloks and their flapping gums!

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  5. It's always nice to see a goblok put in his place.

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  6. Yalls be comin back now ya hear.


    With a valid permit. Rekt

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yea, it doth say in the Book of James, 3:15, that in those days, many a miner will call upon His name.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yea, tis verily so, and there may be much gnashing of teeth, for James shalt speaketh thusly, "Get thee hence foul miner, I know thee not!"

      Delete
  8. While waiting for today's message from James, I decided to look up the killboard of this episode's villain. He's been podded EIGHTY THREE times!

    How can he be mad about the latest one? You would think he would either learn or at least, just get used to his position on the totem pole.

    ReplyDelete

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