Sunday, May 19, 2019

Kills of the Week

I have a question for all the highsec carebears out there: Does highsec have laws, or doesn't it? If you say "yes", then you cannot complain when you get ganked for violating those laws. If you say "no", then you cannot complain, for you have been ganked in a lawless space.

While you're chewing on that, take a good look at these kills from the week of May 12th @ 00:00 EVEtime through May 18th @ 23:59 EVEtime...

WWL wx YXR was AFK autopiloting and lost his 3.46 billion isk Golem. The eagle-eyed readers might notice that the picture above shows a Golem worth 3.64 billion isk, though. How can this be?

Yes, the next day he lost a second blingy Golem--also while AFK autopiloting. Some carebears are slow to learn. Special thanks to Agents Eva Mavas, Lucia, Viirilithizu Ward, Lewak, Eva Solberg, and Araena Calorne for killing that first Golem and setting a good precedent.

Alant Chelien lost a billion isk Mackinaw to Agents Maximus Gooseman, Misha Mawashi, Flagellant Messiah, Elena Sabezan, Edmund Sublett, Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri, Eduard Limonov, and Illegal Facilitator. Not only do billion isk mining ships still exist, they come in all different types. Many use ORE modules...

This one used Harvester drones. Either way, all of that isk goes to the New Order or the Loot Fairy.

...And here we see an example of the ORE variety. Gregor Eisenhor isk-tanked his Skiff. He probably thought our Agents would rather gank an untanked Retriever than a Skiff. When the Skiff is worth 2 billion isk, though, you can pay for a lot of Catalysts. Agents Edmund Sublett, Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri, Maximus Gooseman, Eduard Limonov, Misha Mawashi, Elena Sabezan, and Flagellant Messiah only needed to use 7 Catalysts to get a billion isk worth of loot. People who are good at math only go into the asteroid belts to gank.

FYI, miners, our Agents are extremely efficient: Gregor only got to "enjoy" his blingy mining upgrades for a matter of hours before he was terminated.

To be sure, Lersei Cannister's Occator had a questionable fit. But her most egregious mistake came not in her choice of highs, mids, lows, or rigs. No, Lersei's true failure was in her choice of cargo. Namely, there was too much of it. Agents Ella Skorn, Fiona Salacore, Katie Ka-Booom, and Tenton Jackhammer got some Tornadoes together and blapped the 4.7 billion isk hauler.

The truth of today's highsec was revealed, to Ziboren's great shame: Unlicensed jump freighters burn, even in 1.0 security systems. Ziboren's Ark was put to the torch by a tremendously powerful gank armada consisting of Agents Louis de Broglie, Edwin Powell Hubble, Tim Berners Lee, Wolfgang Ernest Pauli, Erwin Schreodinger, James Prescott Joule, Amandus Olson, Linus Pauling, DaergaarTWO, Joseph Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jake Kusion, Werner Karl Heisenberg, Jayden Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Joseph John Thomsom, Justin Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jason Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Succulent Spodumain, FidgetSpinning MyApendages, and Homoerotic Finger Painting.

Harry Rotineque brought a naked 3 billion isk pod to a stargate in the heart of highsec. He sat next to the stargate and went AFK. No one knows why he did this. I have my suspicions: I think he was a bot-aspirant who considered himself completely safe in highsec. But Agent Pod-Goo A-GoGo proved him wrong.

Basically, Harry was using a 3 billion isk ship with fewer than 500 hitpoints. It was destroyed by a simple Thrasher. Did Harry deserve to lose his implants? The question answers itself.


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