Sunday, October 6, 2019

Kills of the Week


In today's post, we'll see what a real "skilling spree" looks like. From the week of September 29th @ 00:00 EVEtime through October 5th @ 23:59 EVEtime...

If Lux Harrison intends to continue playing EVE, he will be forced to learn from the 8.8 billion isk loss handed to him by Agents Votre Dieu, Narl' Amhar, Astrid Tyrfing, and Rungerd. Thus, our Agents have given Lux the opportunity to get some skill or continue to get rekt. What is it with Marshal pilots these days, anyway?

There isn't a system in highsec where the AFK jump freighters can hide. While stumbling through a 0.8 security system, NeoSemso was caught by a Talos armada: Agents James Prescott Joule, Wolfgang Ernest Pauli, Jason Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Amandus Olson, Aiko Danuja, Linus Pauling, Werner Karl Heisenberg, DaergaarTWO, Joel Kusion, Louis de Broglie, Erwin Schreodinger, Jayden Kusion, Tim Berners Lee, Justin Kusion, Alleil Pollard, Edwin Powell Hubble, Jake Kusion, Succulent Spodumain, and Homoerotic Finger Painting. Our Agents have limitless firepower, but I'd bet ol' NeoSemso wishes she hadn't anti-tanked her Rhea.

The next day, Chika Fujii lost her own blingy freighter in the same system. Why should we be surprised that Chika failed to do her research? She didn't even own a mining permit. And so justice was served up by Agents Amandus Olson, Linus Pauling, Jason Kusion, Wolfgang Ernest Pauli, Jayson Kusion, Edwin Powell Hubble, James Prescott Joule, Aiko Danuja, Louis de Broglie, DaergaarTWO, Justin Kusion, Tim Berners Lee, Werner Karl Heisenberg, Alleil Pollard, Erwin Schreodinger, Jake Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jayden Kusion, and Joel Kusion, who helped themselves to more loot for their Taloses.

"Metamaterials"? Nonsense. The only meta in EVE is the Code.

Carebears love to whine and moan about new players, subscription numbers, bullying, griefing, torture--you name it. But show them a ship like Vess Orion's 591 million isk fail-Hulk, and even the noisy carebears cannot speak a word in its defense. Agents Aiko Danuja, Lewak, Kaal Aan, and Alleil Pollard eliminated the fail-Hulk and its billion isk pod.

If only ORE mining modules came with an instruction manual for fitting mining ships. Despite flying a Retriever instead of a Hulk, Thor Argentus Odinssonn managed to lose nearly as much as Vess Orion did. Agents Madame Mia and Love Less had a fruitful encounter with the unworthy miner, but that is a tale for another day.

Fine, here's a sneak peek:

Remember when chat had a shorter character limit? It helped interrupt the miners' rants before they reached the "RL death threat" stage.

After losing his capacitor-tanked Hulk (how did that happen?), SpiceDragon Y was promptly podded by everyone's favorite Capsule crusher, Agent Aaaarrgg.

Carebears like SpiceDragon aspire to be Ascendancy sets, but deep down, they'll always be a 'Highwall' Mining MX-1003. Only the Code can save them.


  1. oh, now they are griefing the noob jump freighters

  2. Very nice Retriever pinata and tears. He babbles about Ventures and Nazis as though he didn't bling himself to such an extreme that even a non-Agent without no Code would gank him simply for the profit.

  3. yeah there's really no excuse for that fail fit


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