Monday, October 7, 2019

Where Are the Parents?, Part 1

I mean, I did warn you he was back.

Agent Krig Povelli somehow found himself locked in combat with an Orca piloted by Cyrus Farlen. The most peculiar things always seem to happen to Agent Krig.
Krig Povelli > 315 mil. ISK to save your ship
Cyrus Farlen > sure
Krig Povelli > Send me the ISK
Cyrus Farlen > .sorry kiddo agressed
As the battle turned in Krig's favor, the Orca pilot blamed his son for aggressing our Agent's ship. As we've seen, there has been a spate of such child-blaming going on lately.
Krig Povelli > That was only 100 mil.
Cyrus Farlen > rest when you let me go
Krig Povelli > That is not how this works
Krig Povelli > This is a ransom, not a negotiation
Krig Povelli > If you thought otherwise, it is because I am being polite
Despite being given precise instructions on how to save his Orca, Cyrus tried to save a little money with some scammy maneuvering. Krig refused to play along. It was 315 million isk or nothing.
Cyrus Farlen > ok
Cyrus Farlen > can i go now
Krig Povelli > You sent me 300 total
Krig Povelli > I said 315
Incredibly, Cyrus jeopardized the safety of his ship by trying to shave less than 5% off the price. What a greedy little miner!
Krig Povelli > That was 350
Cyrus Farlen > ok
Krig Povelli > Do you know how to follow basic directions?
Karma quickly caught up with the miner, who accidentally overpaid the ransom with his final installment.

As a result, Krig had no choice but to destroy the Orca. "But James 315," you say. "The miner paid more than the ransom. Surely that should qualify as compliance?" Not so. According to long-standing precedent from the pre-Code era, overpaying is considered a failure to pay the amount requested. Look it up, it's all there.
Cyrus Farlen > uhhh kiddo killed me, whatever
Krig Povelli > You should get a permit
Cyrus Farlen > enjoy the ransom and kll.
Krig Povelli >
Cyrus Farlen > yeah those are fake and i know it
In the aftermath of his Orca's destruction, Cyrus again blamed his son for the whole incident.
Krig Povelli > If you had a permit, I would not have to kill you
Cyrus Farlen > dude im not new, my kiddo got on and agressed you while I was afk
Krig Povelli > You should teach your kid about permits
Krig Povelli > They are the Law
Krig Povelli > Letting kids mine in a PVP game is not good parenting
In truth, Cyrus' own mistakes led to the death of his Orca. It was wrong of him to shift the blame to his "kiddo".
Cyrus Farlen > lol he got on while I was in the bathroom thats life
Krig Povelli > You should be a better parent
Krig Povelli > Teach him the ways of how to play the game properly
Krig Povelli > And get a permit
Cyrus Farlen > thanks for the advice
Krig Povelli > Any time, friend
The New Order Bathroom Protocol exists for a reason, folks.
Krig Povelli > Would you like to purchase a permit now?
Cyrus Farlen > no, im just not going to go afk when my kids around
Krig Povelli > That's nice, but you still need a permit
Cyrus Farlen > uh huh, you should know that hogs collective is running the same racket in this sector, go talk to them
Krig Povelli > They may be running a "racket"
Krig Povelli > But mine is the law
In response to the attack, Cyrus vowed to remain at his keyboard whenever his children were present. So, basically, his kids are Code enforcers.
Cyrus Farlen > yes I know about code for like 2 years now
Krig Povelli > So you admit your guilt! As well as being AFK without docking up. And bad parenting.
Cyrus Farlen > your word is basically crap since i gave you the money and you blew me up anyway
Krig Povelli > You gave me too much
Krig Povelli > I said 315 mil.
Krig Povelli > For James 315
It appeared as though Cyrus was finally beginning to realize that crime didn't pay. But instead of embracing a life of Code-compliance, he grew jaded.
Cyrus Farlen > right
Krig Povelli > Instead you tried to scam me by sending me 350 mil.
Cyrus Farlen > anyway, time for lunch peace out
Cyrus Farlen > gonna take me a month to replace that orca
Krig Povelli > o/ Fly safe, friend!
A silver lining: Cyrus didn't go the dishonourable route of claiming that he had a dozen replacement Orcas ready to go, or that the loss didn't hurt.

Our Agent noted that Cyrus belonged to a corporation with some red flags in the corp description. But there was no time for Krig to dig too deeply into that. Because, in an extraordinary turn of events, he found himself dealing with another criminal Orca pilot. Yes, even as Krig was wrapping up his conversation with Cyrus, a second Orca in the same ice anomaly went hostile!
Krig Povelli > Hi
Krig Povelli > Would you like to save your ship?
Krig Povelli > Well?
Krig Povelli > Viln Raurnaught talk to me, friend
Krig Povelli > This relationship requires communication to work
Viln Raurnaught > sorry I'm dealing with an angry toddler
...And another child goes under the bus!

To be continued...


  1. You made the right decision Krig. Don't let the miners scam you.

  2. That sort of explains the hyperpoulation of miners. They reproduce at an alarming rate, and due to the greed of parents, the youth learns the worst habits at the earliest convenience.

    I think the Savior should just outright ban exposing children to any form of mining. If those veldspar-junkies insist on doing it, they should at least do it out of the sight of their families.

  3. Its like they think anybody believes them when they say they have kids.
    Or a family.

    1. Exactly, no one would date a highsec miner

  4. It's disgusting to see capsuleers begging for mercy and throwing their alleged children under the bus. For once I'd like to see a one take responsibility for his actions and say, "Alright, that was my mistake. I aggressed you first, so you had the right to blow me up. After all, EVE is a PvP game. Good fight."

  5. You know it's going to be a good one when Krig Povelli is involved, absolute legend.

  6. This blog is sponsored and supported by Hazen Koraka.

  7. "Krig Povelli > If you thought otherwise, it is because I am being polite" - LOL

  8. It seems that miners are taking ai-kiddo courses to avoid harm these days, perhaps a new trend?


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