Thursday, March 12, 2020

Best Value Ever

"But nobody ever told me I needed a permit," sobs the unlicensed miner after he gets ganked. "How was I supposed to buy a permit if nobody warned me?"

Agent Elaniera heard the cry of the miner. So she travels across highsec, warning miners in advance that they need to buy a permit--or get ganked. But how do the miners respond to such warnings?

Judging by Jeyson Dantas' reaction, they don't appreciate it. And this particular miner had good reason to believe Elaniera's warning, since she had ganked him before. Nevertheless, Elaniera was filled with compassion for Jeyson. She penned a heartfelt reply:

Now Jeyson knew two things: He needed to buy a permit, and he needed to calm down. Would the miner be able to accomplish at least one of those things?

Through no fault of her own, Elaniera had come close to sparking a major diplomatic incident. Jeyson had powerful friends in the consulate. If pressed, this miner could take down CCP itself.

The last thing our Agent wanted was for CCP to be banned from Jeyson's country. Yet the rules set forth in the Code were too important to be ignored, even in the context of high-stakes international diplomacy. And the simple fact was that Jeyson still needed a permit.

One can only hope that CCP has good lawyers and diplomats on its payroll.

Since Jeyson had chosen to escalate the matter by encouraging rebellion in local chat, Agent Elaniera had no choice but to terminate his vessel.

Jeyson vowed to retaliate by bringing CCP into the picture--presumably before he expelled them from his country.

The Code was clear, yet Jeyson was confident that he would prevail in a court of space law.

I don't know what country Jeyson's parents rule, but in highsec we do things a bit differently. In highsec, we obey the Code. Period.

The Code's principles and values are universal. Hopefully, one day Jeyson's parents will find it in their hearts to adopt the Code in their country. It would be historic.


  1. the consulate will hear of this!

    1. "Dear consulate - I was playing a spaceship video game, and someone blew up my video game spaceship. They tried to fine me lots of interstellar kredits, which is against the law, so can you please ban the video game from my country, and take legal action against the person who blew up my pretend spaceship, because I am being abused."

    2. "Dear customer,
      Since you don't have a valid mining permit, there is no legal action that we can invoke in regards of this situation. Please consider protecting your video game spaceships.

    3. Dear Jeyson Dantas,

      We (code) are a bunch of lame dickheads taking advantage of you as a new players. We will carry on about how we wish to educate you but really we just enjoy making people unhappy.

      Experienced players know we have fucked up personalities and so won't talk to us because it is a waste of time.

      We take ourselves far too seriously and are really good at being pompous. It is in fact our defining characteristic. We look down on everyone but are terribly insecure because we are not as important as we think we are.

      We gather at this website so we can read stories about how wonderful we are. Sometimes meanies will troll us and we can't help but to respond to them because we always have to have the last word.

    4. Do link your lossmail

    5. Dear Anonymous from March 13th 2020 at 3:33 PM,

      As is apparent from your comments it would appear you are qualified in Psychology or Psychiatry.

      Whilst we here at Code central appreciate your feedback we are afraid that your conclusions are somewhat way off the mark.

      If you would like we can send to you a diagram of a space doll. On said doll you can put some crosses to demonstrate where a Code agent's ship touched you inappropriately. We will do our utmost to ensure that we pass this information to our board of Thrashers, Catalysts, Tornados and Talos' so that we may continue to touch yourself and fellow cearbears inappropriately.

      We strive to please the community in whatever ways we deem appropriate and one of the best ways for you to enjoy EVE would be through the purchase of a mining permit. These cost a mere 10 million isk and are valid for a whole year (T&C's apply).

      Should you be interested please contact any agent of Code in-game and they will be happy to oblige.

      Yours sincerely,

      Laya Kasya

      P.S. Please calm down so you do not increase your blood pressure too highly. With the current SARS-CoV-2 outbreak we wouldn't wish for you to have any underlying health conditions that could put you at risk.

  2. Hey carebears, if you are not a lawyer IRL, you are probably not going to succeed as a space lawyer either.

    Carebears are so ignorant.

  3. The space lawyers are the funniest. Naturally, it was a Venture pilot. He couldn't specify exactly which article of the TOS had been violated. In fact, he was the one most likely to be in violation—of the real life threats policy.

    And then there's this:

    In EVE Online, any player may attack any other player if they choose to, no matter where they happen to be. This is because EVE Online is essentially a PvP (Player versus Player) game at its core. —CCP's New Pilot FAQ


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