Sunday, March 8, 2020

Kills of the Week

As you've probably noticed from reading MinerBumping posts these days, the bot-aspirants of highsec are utterly confused. They don't know what they're doing; it's as if they're making their decisions at random. That is no way to play EVE. They're fortunate that there's a Code. But until they follow it, they'll continue to lose everything. Like these misguided fellows from the week of March 1st @ 00:00 EVEtime through March 7th @ 23:59 EVEtime...

Hank Thisant was one of many hauler pilots who has struggled to find a way to AFK autopilot through highsec without getting ganked. He knew that freighters present attractive targets, so he tried using an Orca instead. What he didn't realize is that our Agents delight in ganking Orcas, regardless of whether they're being used as mining ships or haulers. Agents Justin Kusion, Jason Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Joel Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Jack Kusion, Josh Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Josiah Kusion, and Caution AsianDrivers Ahead enjoyed a good, old-fashioned fish fry in Uedama.

david southards's blingy Hulk was a peculiar creature. It had no ORE Strip Miners. Nor did it possess any blingy yield modules or shield mods. Yet Agents Borntofly A Ornot, Borntofly B Ornot, and Lewak managed to inflict a nearly 800 million isk loss on this miner. david's ship contained a couple of somewhat blingy armor mods, plus a handful of somewhat blingy mining drones. It all adds up.

SKULLFROST was a classic case of a decadent carebear who put all of his faith in bling. If he spent enough isk on his ship, he reasoned, it would be powerful enough to meet any challenge. And maybe SKULLFORST was able to handle the various NPCs he encountered during his PvE sessions. However, EVE is a PvP game. And when he took his bling into Uedama while on autopilot, his AFK ship met a lot of P's who wanted to "v" him. Agents Jason Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jake Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Jack Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Josh Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Josiah Kusion, and Caution AsianDrivers Ahead spotted the gaudy vessel and tore it apart.

Andacy was smart enough to keep her 16 billion isk jump freighter far away from Uedama. Unfortunately, she lacked the wisdom to keep the ship out of highsec entirely. After all, each and every system in highsec is New Order territory. Andacy autopiloted through Jita while completely AFK--until she was audited by the Tax Collector family: Agents Tax Collector Stroheim, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Australian Excellence, Tax Collector HongMei, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector Hill, Tax Collector Aruka, Taxman Daniel, Tax Collector Kittens, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector Richard, Tax Collector Yuna, Tax Collector AyndRand, Tax Collector Larry, Tax Collector Kimi, Tax Collector Shardani, Tax Collector Alison, Dr Hattrick, and Mining Lord 1999.

Now Adoudel probably realized that he wouldn't last a day in highsec. So he kept his 8 billion isk Marshal nestled deep within nullsec. Alas, Agents MD5LKTR, Amelia Duskspace, TigR Kashada, Mark Bridges, Blaran Falsnar, Chinatech, and Casper24 of the New Order Outreach Division were on a diplomatic mission and happened upon the ship. They engaged in a cultural exchange with Now Adoudel: The carebear received a lesson in the Code, and our Agents got a nice killmail along with some loot. An enriching experience for all.

Like so many others did this week, Hayalobie lost her AFK marauder in Uedama. But the real prize was Hayalobie's pod, promptly vaporized by Agent Josiah Kusion's smartbombs.

Implants worth 3.5 billion isk were destroyed. And the carebear was instantly transported back to Jita. They say you can buy anything there--let's hope Hayalobie purchased a mining permit!


  1. Alright fellow codies, I'm issuing a call to action:

    I need someone to bump the "Had anyone started to notice that Code. is becoming more Snuggly?" thread in C&P. It's getting awfully close to auto-lock time!

  2. As usual, anti-Code carebears have very little to say about the Kills of the Week. Justice was well served. Perhaps the bot-aspirants had a subliminal urge to make a surprise donation to the New Order!

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