Sunday, March 29, 2020

Kills of the Week

The bot-aspirants of highsec are desperate these days. Increasingly, unlicensed carebears have been under pressure from our valiant Agents--they're on the run. And what do non-compliant Gobloks do when they get desperate? Well, take a look at some examples from the week of March 22nd @ 00:00 EVEtime through March 28th @ 23:59 EVEtime...

We don't often see Covert Ops frigates featured on Kills of the Week, but Crusher McCabe was deeply afraid of being intercepted by gankers; he couldn't risk going around in some obvious hauling ship. But Agent Lovin Jr managed to find and destroy him all the same.

Try reading the Code to get a healthier, more natural boost.

Although we've been seeing haulers experiment with different kinds of ships lately, soraikaros angle3 went with the classic "highsec super", an 18.6 billion isk Ark. She made her way to Jita, but there her AFK journey ended in a fireball. Agents Tax Collector Aruka, Tax Collector Richard, Taxman Daniel, Australian Excellence, Tax Collector HongMei, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector Larry, Tax Collector Kimi, Tax Collector Hill, Tax Collector Stroheim, Tax Collector AynRand, Tax Collector Yuna, Tax Collector Fuemi, Tax Collector Buck, Tax Collector Shardani, Mining Lord 1999, and Dr Hattrick brought out the big guns and made Jita surrender another jump freighter.

Yeah, I'd say this qualifies as desperation. Yikes! Dantalian Lemegeton's 21 billion isk cargo-expanded Rattlesnake was a disgrace--an absolute disgrace. News of Dantalian's ship spread as it autopiloted through highsec, oblivious. 'Twas enough to rouse the Rackner family, and they took up arms. Agents eviserater Adoudel, Georgia Rackner, Rebecca Rackner, Ashlee Rackner, Jani Rackner, Yan Rackner, Emily Rackner, Jemma Rackner, Kirra Rackner, Olivia Rackner, Zoe Rackner, Celestia Rackner, Ivy Rackner, Charlotte Rackner, Kimberly Rackner, Globby Rackner, Benji Rackner, hegils, Phoenix Rackner, Adara Gaea, and Vladimir Puotin rode into battle in their Catalysts and taught Dantalian why highsec is not filled with hauling Rattlesnakes.

"Go to nullsec if you want to PvP," the anti-Code carebears sneer. Perhaps Jayne GX has said something like that before. If so, it's ironic that she provided our Agents with some practice killing her supercarrier. Our Agents, of course, are just as comfortable killing nullsec supers as highsec supers. Agents TigR Kashada, GROUND XERO, Tamoria, Peoplehater82, Kruge Ellecon, Helena Wild, Hakuli, Adrian Ostus, Martin otsito, Lucy Callagan, Jeronyx, l0rd carlos, Methea Selenis, Amelia Duskspace, atrophocy, Casper24, Kadesh Priestess, CHlCHl, Noc Ormand, Lucas Quaan, Oberhaader, NiXoR x, dexter xio, Goron McFraud, Scott Smartypants, xNiXoRx, and Charlotte Otsita enjoyed some elite PvP with Jayne. She probably wishes they had stayed in highsec!

It doesn't look like it, but Tovar's blingy Bhaalgorn was sort of a hauling battleship, too. Despite being equipped for combat, the ship's cargo bay was (for whatever reason) filled with clothing items. Agents Votre Dieu, Narl' Amhar, Astrid Tyrfing, Rungerd, and Ingrid Scylding didn't bother asking questions before killing Tovar. All they needed to know was that Tovar was violating the Code. Case closed.

A quick question for you, dear reader: What's worse than a mining battleship?

Answer: Two mining battleships, lost by the same guy an hour apart, in the same system. Inside Centre didn't take the hint when Agents Pod-Goo Repoman, Aaaarrgg, and Aaaarrggs Scout Alt ganked his mining Apocalypse, so our heroes returned to the system an hour later and ganked his mining Armageddon. Can you believe this guy? He's living proof that paying CCP a subscription fee doesn't mean you're worthy of EVE Online.


  1. Lol that carrier. The New Order of Allsec!

  2. So it takes just over an hour to lose a shitfit mining battleship then re-shitfit another mining battleship and fly it out to Domain. And in that hour he didn't stop and think about what just happened to him?

    Still not as ignorant as the inbred copypasta king of Pearl River loseriana, william "I like 'em big and blood kin" greer.


  3. I don't know what an Exile Booster is, but I don't think miners should be taking it.

  4. miners sure are dumb

  5. Wow, it's like some people just decide to play EVE without any due diligence and just hope for the best. RIP Goofuses.

  6. If the community in rl have to comply with compliance checks re covid-19,i don't know why miners complain when an agent asks to see a valid mining permit.

    No permit should confine the miner to station for 14 days.

    I might have to play again and ensure COVID-19 does not spread through James 315 territory.

    Wash your hands filthy miners.

    At least you self isolate.

    Praise James 315.

  7. "paying CCP a subscription fee doesn't mean you're worthy of EVE Online"

    Looking at you, highsec miners. Cowards don't belong in EVE. Natural Selection is trying to tell you something.


Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.