Why Are Carebears Required to Say GF?

Let's talk about the Code today.

Upon being suicide ganked, a miner should congratulate the ganker on his success. A "good fight" or "gf" in local is customary.

Ah, the Good Fight Clause. Of all the provisions in the Code, this is one of the most frequently violated--and complained about. Highsec miners (and all other players against whom the Code is enforced, as the provision applies to them, too) have always had difficulty understanding why they owe their attackers a "gf".

The Code violator always has an excuse for not offering a "gf". It wasn't a good fight because I was in a pod instead of a proper ship, they say. Or, it wasn't a good fight because I was in a mining ship with no weapons (kindly ignore the deadly combat drones). Or, it wasn't a good fight because I was in a combat ship, but I was AFK. Or, I was in a combat ship and defeated in traditional combat, but it doesn't count for reasons X, Y, or Z.

In reality, it's not the particular conditions or circumstances of the fight that cause the Code violator to disobey the Code. He refuses to offer a "gf" regardless, for the simple reason that he is a bot-aspirant.

That's why the Good Fight Clause is in the Code: It's a bot-aspirancy test. Not unlike the permit requirement, actually. The bot-aspirant carebear believes and hopes and behaves as if highsec is 100% safe. He doesn't need to worry about PvP; he's in a PvE-only zone. Then an Agent of the New Order comes along and engages in PvP with him, which results in the bot-aspirant's death. How does he resolve this conundrum? Does he admit that he was wrong? Heck no!

The bot-aspirant decides that the PvP he just experienced wasn't PvP at all. He denies the legitimacy of the combat, whether it involved suicide ganking, wardecs, aggression games, kill rights, awoxing, or any other mechanism by which fun can be had.

In this state of denial, a carebear may accuse the Agent of griefing, harassment, bullying, exploiting, etc. He may petition his loss. Usually, though, he simply refuses to accept that he was engaged in PvP. Often, the carebear will instruct our Agent that if he wants PvP, he should go to lowsec. Even though our Agent just found success while looking for PvP in highsec!

Now consider the alternative. If a carebear responds to a gank with a "gf" and means it, he has acknowledged the legitimacy of highsec PvP. He isn't wasting a GM's time with a frivolous petition. He isn't begging CCP for absolute safety in highsec. He isn't insisting that he be allowed to engage in risk-free PvE and break the risk/reward dynamics of the EVE universe.

That, my friends, is a good start.

I'd like to conclude today's post by addressing a common question we get from scummy rebels: Are Agents of the New Order also required to offer a "gf"? Even if the PvP involves an Anti-Ganker attempting to interfere with an Agent's gank?

The Code provision in question refers to a responsibility that carebears have, not Agents. An Agent may, in his discretion, choose to honour another player with a "gf", if he feels moved to do so. He is not required to, of course, for the same reason that an Agent is not required to carry a mining permit. There's no need to test an Agent for bot-aspirancy, no need to question his belief in the legitimacy of highsec PvP.

The Agent is PvP incarnate; he is EVE, the best of EVE. He is the living embodiment of EVE's purpose and its content. The Agents of the New Order carry the torch of EVE for as long as the game still exists. We are its fire and light.

And that, really, is honour enough. Carebears, when you see an Agent of the New Order in local, you should feel immensely grateful--even before he starts shooting you.

Over One Trillion Two Hundred Twenty-Six Billion in Shares Sold

Good news: We've got an unlimited number of New Order shares available for purchase, for the indefinite future. Don't use that as an excuse to procrastinate, though--buy some now and buy more later.

Whether you're celebrating a 2 billion isk pod kill or you're just grateful to be alive, New Order shares are just the thing!

Keadina Widowmaker did end up buying some New Order shares, and her timing couldn't have been better. Her purchase of 100 shares put us over the 1,221 billion isk mark and earned her a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™. Who says you can't time the market?

Of course, the best market strategy is simply to buy as many shares as possible whenever you can. Ilithyia Borgia's purchase of 5,000 additional shares guaranteed we'd soar past some milestones. Specifically, the 1,222, 1,223, 1,224, 1,225, and 1,226 billion isk marks. Ilithyia scored a Quintuple Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™. That's how it's done.

BONUS!

Yes, it's the long-awaited return of the Code Is Forever series:

YouTube: The Code Is Forever #35

If you want to see elite PvP in action, you know where to look.

As always, permanent links to Code Is Forever goodness can be found on our Links page.

It's Not the Ship, It's the Man

When you see a mining barge show up on a killboard, you know some elite PvP went down. But you probably wouldn't expect this:

Agent Perlo Tissant reported the actions of a gank fleet filled with Ventures. At last, a reason for mining frigates to be in highsec!

Our hero filmed one of the ganks and uploaded it to YouTube for your viewing pleasure:

YouTube: Venture Gank

Caution: This video is likely to trigger miners who don't like gankers multiboxing.

In fact, every mining ship in EVE is a ship that can "shoot back". If you're a miner and you consider yourself defenseless, you're doing it wrong.

MinerBumping Comment Bingo

Ah, Miner Bingo. It's one of the great traditions of New Order highsec.

Though created five years ago, Miner Bingo remains extraordinarily relevant and timely. It still holds a place of honour at the top of our Links page.

But the highsec miner doesn't always keep his tears in-game.

When you see a MinerBumping post with a lot of reader comments, it's a fair bet there are going to be a lot of highsec miner tears there--along with glistening nuggets of wisdom from our more enlightened readers.

But yes, there's a lot of nonsense to be found in the comments.

...To say nothing of the comments that get caught by the spam filter. From time to time, I check the spam folder to see if any non-spam comments were accidentally caught by the filter. It's pretty rare. As for the spam, it gets deleted en masse at the touch of a button.

Agent Malon Kreed was inspired by reading some of the miner tears in the MinerBumping comments, so he did what Agents do: He created.

Click for full-size version

Behold, MinerBumping Comment Bingo! Well done.

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 13

Previously, on MinerBumping... Mission Ready Mining was visited by one Agent after another. The latest bumper to plague the carebears of Gelhan was TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet. MRM had thousands of members at its disposal. Though they hadn't yet rallied to defend their Gelhan mining operation, their patience was being sorely tested.

Yanamota Acami emerged as the leader of the Gelhan resistance. She began a propaganda campaign in local to dehumanize TheInternet--setting the stage for a bitter conflict.

TheInternet grew tired of Yanamota's threats. She knew all about the way Yanamota had threatened her predecessors and failed to deliver.

Even other members of Mission Ready Mining were surprised by the level of Yanamota's hostility. Lendar Silverwind laughed it off, fracturing MRM's united front.

No matter how angry Yanamota got, she was unable to interfere with TheInternet's miner bumping. Worse, the miner was unable to rally the other 2,400 members of MRM to her cause.

The local carebears repeated the same tactics that hadn't worked against previous bumpers. They tried to convince TheInternet that bumping miners is lame. It didn't work; TheInternet already knew from experience that miner bumping is awesome.

And so the bumping continued, as continue it must. Gelhan was securely under New Order rule.

Earlier, MRM had wardecced The New Order Gamis Affiliates, a corp filled with ganker alts. They failed to wardec the corps of the bumpers; when they'd hired mercenaries to do it, the bumpers simply re-rolled their corps.

Though some in MRM believed Kalorned was banned for bumping, the siege of Gelhan had gone on for weeks now, with various New Order bumpers doing their part. It was only a matter of time before someone did something desperate.

...And no one was more desperate than Yanamota of the "beasts of the earth" rant. She was ready to make her big move.

Her move failed. Yanamota tried to sneak in a bit of mining time when she thought the bumpers weren't around. Her capacitor-tanked Retriever was destroyed by ganker alts from The New Order Gamis Affiliates.

Yanamota didn't respond to the attack. She was AFK.

Eventually, Yanamota returned to her keyboard and made her feelings known in a private chat.

The New Order Gamis Affiliates gankers--technically still at war with MRM--added more firepower to the Gelhan siege.

Now, finally, Mission Ready Mining had enough. Hostile forces began to swarm the station used by our Agents.

To be continued...

Powerful Nullsec Alts Go to Nullsec

Rebel carebears are a paradox. They remain in highsec for the extra safety, yet they reject the safety of the Code--thus ensuring their destruction. Chwho Bacca knew all about the Code, but his failure to obey it led to the demise of his yield-fit Hulk.

If that name sounds familiar, it's because Chwho's EVEmails were featured in Highsec Miner Grab Bag #138.

As you'll recall, Chwho claimed to be the alt of a "big player" from nullsec. Today, let's see if we can discover the identity of his powerful nullsec alliance.

EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Gheth
Chwho Bacca > fuck off
Lawrence Lawton > Welcome to zkillboard, 8 year old virgin!
Laanndo > Why would you do that?

Agent Lawrence Lawton was drawn to Chwho in part because the miner had spent so many years in EVE without being recorded on a killboard.

Laanndo > He comes back
Laanndo > He is an old player
Artemis Athonile > Welcome back to Eve
Lawrence Lawton > I wanted to see what kind of goo you had in your head
Lawrence Lawton > You were also missing a mining permit.

Chwho's Orca alt, Laanndo, did most of the talking.

Lawrence Lawton > Kill: Chwho Bacca (Capsule)
Lawrence Lawton > Just a standard set? I feel bullied.
Laanndo > Bunch of yellow belly's
Laanndo > Couldnt survive in null sec
Laanndo > So you come here

The highsec miner looked down on our Agent for choosing to PvP in highsec--yet Laanndo himself had spent close to a decade mining in highsec.

Enkidooo Arnolles > We're cowards because we don't want to lose ISK?
Lawrence Lawton > As the CEO you should understand that there is no mining in James 315 Territory without permission.
Laanndo > English mofo...do you speak it?
Laanndo > Yeah yeah
Laanndo > James lol
Laanndo > Eat a sausage

We've seen that miners are crabby folk who tend to argue with each other; in the absence of an Agent, they'll extract each others' tears. Laanndo accidentally insulted Enkidooo Arnolles, a fellow highsec miner who was offended by the idea that only cowards avoid nullsec.

Enkidooo Arnolles > Getting tired of bouncing the noobs yet?
Lawrence Lawton > The Code is over five years old now miner. I'm surprised that the other miners in system didn't explain it to you. You must be quite upset with them.
Laanndo > I know who CODe are ya plank
Enkidooo Arnolles > I'm just shaking in my booties
Lawrence Lawton > Bot-aspirancy, missing permit, failure to tank, and AFK.

As Lawrence continued his conversation with Laanndo, Enkidooo became increasingly confused. He thought at least one of the two was talking to him.

Laanndo > I know all about you, but my motto is, go and f* yourself :D Cause... Memes
Laanndo > Bot? In a hulk? What moron would Bot in a hulk :D
Laanndo > You have to empty every few seconds
Laanndo > ffs lol
Enkidooo Arnolles > Look I get what Code is trying to do...I"m not even in oppostion to it

Oddly, Laanndo insisted that he wasn't botting because he needed to empty his Hulk every few seconds. Apparently he never considered that a bot could perform that task. Regardless, Laanndo was certainly a bot-aspirant.

Lawrence Lawton > It's a laundry list of charges miner. I am willing to forgive your crimes if you buy a site license for your corp and promise to follow THE NEW HALAIMA CODE OF CONDUCT.
Laanndo > CODE are just null sec rejects that gets their as kicked
Laanndo > If you went to the south, yo uwould get your sass handed to ya
Laanndo > But you attack ships without guns
Laanndo > Because your a bunch of nerds that play spaceship games

Highsec miner Laanndo continued to pour scorn on all those who live in highsec--his barbs once again hitting Enkidooo by mistake.

Enkidooo Arnolles > i'm sorry am I supoosed to be impressed by this?
Laanndo > No...
Enkidooo Arnolles > Or perhaps you're not talkin to me
Lawrence Lawton > If you're going to play EVE, better to PvP than suck rocks.
Laanndo > ..Go forth little penis man....seed your oats to non pvp players and show the world how small your man hood really is

Lawrence wasn't impressed by Laanndo. Our Agents have learned to be very distrustful of highsec miners and their secret nullsec greatness.

Laanndo > For all you know I could be apart of a large null sec alliance multi boxing
Laanndo > alts dude
Laanndo > Tell James to suck my turds
Laanndo > Lick my boots
Lawrence Lawton > Calm down miner.
Laanndo > I am not angry
Laanndo > I am just like...that isnt even art what you do lol

Try as he might, Laanndo couldn't persuade Lawrence to believe him. Needless to say, reimbursement was off the table. For all his bluster, Laanndo did manage to do some good, though--even if by accident.

It wasn't Laando's intent, but Enkidooo had been stung by Laanndo's anti-highsec remarks. He decided to give up highsec mining and join a nullsec alliance.

And as for Laanndo and his alt?

I guess a highsec miner can only go so long before he grows tired of falsely claiming to belong to a nullsec alliance. The solution: Join a nullsec alliance for real! And with the departure of those miners, highsec becomes a little more compliant.

Tomorrow's Agent

Everyone knows that the EVE "new player experience" (NPE) is a joke, and that the tutorial is a mess. Smart people have encouraged CCP to direct new players into the welcoming embrace of the New Order, where they can learn what EVE is really about.

Too often, new players end up in channels like Anti-Ganking. They become at-risk youths.

Doe-eyed newbie Lewak wandered into the Anti-Ganking channel seeking information. The Anti-Ganking channel is a land of confusion. Often, a question will be answered with a yes, no, and maybe all at once.

Lewak was fascinated by the mighty CODE. alliance and its army of gankers. Unlike carebears, they seemed to be enjoying themselves. And they were far more exciting than a bunch of grumpy miners.

Unfortunately, the "experts" among the Anti-Gankers were the blind leading the blind. Even those who had the right answer to a question spent all their time quarreling with Anti-Gankers who had the wrong answer.

In fact, the New Order is the best place for a new player to learn EVE. Carebearing is far easier--nobody ever said elite PvP is easy--but at least the newbies don't learn bad habits from us that they'd need to unlearn later.

Though Anti-Gankers generally argue with each other about everything, there are a few things they can all agree on: For starters, Goons are bad.

Carebears all across highsec despise Goons, even if they've never encountered one. That's because from the earliest days of the Code, conspiracy theorists spread the rumor that Goons were funding the New Order.

Though imaginary, the Goons' financial ties to CODE. earned them the hatred of new generations of carebears who'd never witnessed Burn Jita or the Gallente Ice Interdiction. No matter how new or old a highsec miner is, they've all seen CODE.'s ganks.

The Anti-Gankers injected Lewak with their poison as best they could, but the newbie couldn't shake off his interest in the Code. Something about it captured his imagination in a way that AFK mining couldn't.

We all know that Anti-Gankers have difficulty keeping up with current events; their knowledge of EVE's past is similarly sketchy.

Luckily, the past matters little. EVE players today don't really need to know about anything that occurred before the Code came to highsec. (Accurate information about EVE's history may still be illuminating to the curious.)

From time to time, even an Anti-Ganker will succumb to the temptations of the forbidden art of suicide ganking. They're quick to say they didn't enjoy it, though.

Lewak sensed that he wouldn't be able to get the full story on CODE. from the Anti-Gankers. His instincts told him to look elsewhere.

In time, Lewak found his way into the ranks of CODE. itself. There's an important lesson to be learned here: Ultimately, the lies of the carebear will always be conquered by the truths of the Code.