Thursday, March 12, 2015

Justice Is Blind, Part 1

Some days, it ain't easy gettin' justice done in highsec.
Aria Ito > Extortion is trying to help People?!
Aria Ito > Im a EMT I help ppl. Fuck you.
Two hours earlier...


The day began with a promising enough start for Gaylord Fappington, Agent of the New Order. He discovered an ice anomaly and eliminated a threat that was lurking within. After extinguishing the miner, Gaylord offered to sell him a mining permit. As an Agent and a member of GoonSwarm, Gaylord was used to dealing with unruly miners. Iceman Alabel gave him a piece of his mind. It was a bad decision--he had little to spare. Gaylord agreed to refer the matter to an impartial mediator.
Gaylord Fappington > Hello
Gaylord Fappington > getting mediator in here one second
Iceman Alabel > ill never buy a permit
Gaylord Fappington > We have a miner here who is filing a greivance against me
Gaylord Fappington > He says I did not follow the Code because I did not warn him
Iceman Alabel > thats right
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Oh dear


Luckily, a man of honour was not difficult to find.
Iceman Alabel > if i remember right i should get bumped b4 i get poped
Gaylord Fappington > Kill: Iceman Alabel (Covetor) for reference, this is the incident in question
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Iceman Alabel if you have any facts you would like established lets hear them now
Iceman Alabel > lets see ishowed up to the belt mined not even one cycle and was poped
Iceman Alabel > no warning that i was "breaking" your code rules
The miner told the story from his perspective. As the killmail confirmed, Iceman didn't get any ice from the anomaly. That's how efficiently Gaylord was able to gank him.
Gaylord Fappington > I admit I dispensed justice quickly
Gaylord Fappington > But the Miner's bio alarmed me
Gaylord Fappington > I checked his bio for his permit info and saw this:


At the outset, it seemed like an open-and-shut case. Instead of proudly sporting a mining permit in his bio, Iceman proclaimed himself a miner-aspirant.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Ah yes, I see that there is a bit of an issue with the bio, now that you point it out.
Gaylord Fappington > And yet, there he was mining, recklessly and with no permit
Gaylord Fappington > I said to myself, 'here is a minor miner, and he's already breaking the rules. I need to act fast before he grows into an afk miner'
Iceman Alabel > on person on and alt account trying to bring in a little ice for cash in not reckless minning
The New Order is filled with problem-solvers. We fix things when they're broken--but we also try our best to stop problems from getting worse.
Gaylord Fappington > I tried to explain that having a permit would help him calm down, but he just got madder
Gaylord Fappington > He insulted The New Order, Agents, and even poor defenseless Goons in his tirade
Iceman Alabel > ha im over that but iv told you and other agents that il never buy a permit
Gaylord Fappington > [00:40:37] Iceman Alabel > that and the goons are fuckasses too
Iceman Alabel > dam right
You know what they say about judging a book by its cover? All Iceman knew about Gaylord was that he was an Agent of the New Order, a Goon, and that he'd ganked him. Based on nothing else, Iceman condemned Gaylord. He didn't bother getting to know him.
Iceman Alabel > but to be fair my hatrid toward the goons comes from b4 the NO was even a thing
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Let's not discriminate against any minorities in this chat, please, Iceman. That would include reaffirmations of the prior inflammatory statements you have made.
Iceman Alabel > is was just explaning that comment
Gaylord Fappington > How long have you been playing Eve?
Iceman Alabel > 4 years
The risk/reward imbalance in highsec continues to take its toll. Even though Iceman was a relatively new alt, he admitted that he was a veteran EVE player. And still, he was mining highsec ice with a fail-fit Covetor. He needed Order in his life.
Gaylord Fappington > And yet you're still confused on the rules of The Code?
Iceman Alabel > iv been living here longher the the NO
Iceman Alabel > no i know the rules for the most part im just not folling for james bull
Iceman Alabel > the NO coming into my home and telling me to fall in line is like the nazis invading france or poland
Gaylord Fappington > Oh my
Iceman Alabel > none of my isk is ever going to james bich ass
Snap judgments seemed to be Iceman's specialty. Without even meeting me, he was sure he didn't like me. Also, Nazis.
Iceman Alabel > how was i the biggest threat when you had someone multiboxing in the same belt?
Gaylord Fappington > I bet TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet could sell you a shiny new permit right here on the spot
Iceman Alabel > ya im not paying gankes either
Gaylord Fappington > Iceman Alabel , I just took the liberty of getting you an attorney
HotShotX Warcastle > Good Evening.
HotShotX Warcastle > May I have a moment with my client, please.
In spite of everything, Gaylord took pity on the miner. Knowing full well that he could be jeopardizing his own position in the mediation, Gaylord located an attorney for Iceman. Not just any attorney, either--it was HotShotX Warcastle, a hotshot space attorney.
Iceman Alabel > ya a code lawer in a leagle battle agenst the code, ya that wont do
HotShotX Warcastle > To be upfront, I am indeed a Code Agent, but I do believe that if Code or one of its Agent was wrong, I would want them help accountable.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > This isn't going to be decided by the CODE. lawyer
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I'm an independent third party and I take my responsibility to be impartial very seriously
Iceman Alabel > TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet and no offence to you either but your prob code too
HotShotX was a public defender. Mostly he defended the public by ganking bot-aspirants. Though HotShotX had a great record, Iceman wasn't sure he trusted him, due to his affiliation with the New Order. Another book judged by its cover. HotShotX assured the miner that he could get results.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > It's actually a very smart system. I don't get paid unless there is a negotiated settlement. It's actually very progressive and European.
Iceman Alabel > so you guse with all the isk pay him to tell ppl like me who just lost there ship tough shit should have bought a permit
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Iceman Alabel if you do not choose a defender the tribunal will appoint one for you.
Iceman Alabel > ya no need for one
HotShotX Warcastle > Is the defendent choosing to self-represent???
Iceman Alabel > the judgement will be agenst me nomatter what
HotShotX Warcastle > (Not advised)
HotShotX Warcastle > /emote sighs
...But like I said, some days it just ain't easy.

To be continued...

75 comments:

  1. Not taking an attorney when offered one.

    #dumbthingsminersdo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Falling for a scam and losing 11 billion isk.

      #dumbthingsmingdoes

      Delete
    2. Giving James 315 11 billion isk to ensure that The New Order continues to gank miners, and that content and angry commenters continue to flow on Minerbumping.com

      #awesomethingsmingdoes

      Delete
    3. Has his head so far up james rear he cant see people making fun of him.

      #blindedbyloyalty

      Delete
    4. Not realizing when others make fun of him.

      #Dumbassthingsmingdoes

      Delete
    5. Not caring when miners make fun of him.

      #Awesomethingsmingdoes

      Delete
    6. Failing by thinking the anon is a miner.

      #Stupidthingsmariasays

      Delete
    7. Intricate haikus,
      and carebear doorslams. #Awesome
      thingsmariadoes

      Delete
    8. Poor Ming is still angry, did someone steal your candy?
      Don't be angry just because your sexual organ is really tiny, that's what happens when you play as a jerk.

      Delete
    9. Using hashtags: so passé.

      Delete
    10. @Anon4:52
      Miner, calm down

      Delete
  2. In battles of wits
    Miners prefer to disarm
    Nobody knows why

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah but Alana, thats the only people that code likes to fight, those who have no guns. When the guns come out Code docks up.

      Delete
    2. "In battles of wits
      Miners prefer to disarm
      Nobody knows why"

      "They typically fight unarmed"

      I'm not talking about guns. I'm talking about wits.

      I rest my case.

      Delete
    3. In that case alana, the miners are the only ones armed in the battle.

      Delete
    4. @Anon1:12
      Ironically enough, you both prove and represent Alana's point.

      Delete
    5. I can see ming now as a child, sitting in the first row of seats in the short school bus. Twenty years later the oldest person in sixth grade. Ten years older, here on minerbumping!!

      #mingstillinschool

      Delete
    6. Ming is as close to a Veers alt as they come. dim-witted but still vocal in his opinions about how "if you aren't CODE. leadership, then don't start a meta"

      Veers alts always complain about the leadership and you will see that Ming does the same only in reverse, He think they are the only people that matter. dim-witted like i said.

      Delete
    7. @9:28
      I completely don't understand what you mean by "If you aren't in CODE. leadership, don't start a meta," (but that's probably because you are a miner and just throw words around without knowing what they mean anyway.)

      I'm not really in contact with CODE. leadership at all- with the exception of James 315, and then only once; when I gifted the New Order 11 billion isk from my sizable wallet, becoming the only recipient of the coveted Undecuple Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ and gaining the love and respect of Agents and Carebears everywhere.

      This is the beauty of CODE.'s structure- Agents, in addition to many other options, have the option to operate as their own cells. While we do like to "form up Voltron" with each other to create big ganks, Agents are also free to choose whether to operate solo or in a group, whether to gank carebears in the belts or gank them on the forums. Each Agent is a beautiful flower of tightly focused justice- and represents each aspect of the Code in a way that is unique as they are- some are warm and healing to the compliant- and some are sharp and cutting towards the non-compliant, and every shade in between, all at the same time.

      Like a Kaleidoscope of compliance.

      Delete
    8. Ming: when I gifted the New Order 11 billion isk from my sizable wallet

      And ming admits to hoarding isk like a carebear.

      -=M=-

      Delete
    9. Just ask him out already, M.

      Delete
    10. @Anon3:10
      There is nothing wrong with "hoarding" isk. There is nothing wrong with "having" isk. Look at the New Order Treasury. It's a giant pile of money that belongs to James 315 and the New Order of Highsec! And it is likely also more money than you have ever seen. Is it incorrect to have that much money?

      No.

      What is incorrect is when you waste and invest disproportionate amounts of time into making that money your goal, your priority, your reason for living, as so many miners do.

      My "modus operendi," so to speak, is holy Code Enforcement. The substantial amount of money I have gained as a result means nothing to me- only the Code does. As such, I am readily equipped to part with substantial sums of money in support of my goal.

      You, on the other hand, worship money. But you cannot even afford to support those supporting your cause, either because you are too miserly, or because you are too poor.

      I pity you.

      Delete
    11. Ming, unlike you i dont hoard isk or worship it. As i stated before i rarely have more then 500 mil in my wallet at any time, not that its hard to make if i would wish to. I dont suffer from the greed and need to have isk like you do. As for your minor amount of 11 billion isk, i have given away far more then that over the years, i estimate at minimum 30-40 billion isk ive given away to new players and players who have been ganked by new order. If thats me being miserly, then your miserly 100 times over what i am.

      Here is a quote from you ming: The substantial amount of money I have gained as a result means nothing to me- only the Code does. As such, I am readily equipped to part with substantial sums of money in support of my goal.

      If this is true ming, you would be as willing as i am to part with all your money, as i do on a regular basis. I have (and will continue) to give away the last bits of my isk to new players on a regular basis. Can you say the same? Doubtful. Course i did manage to scam you out of 11 billion already, who is to say your vanity might not work against you.

      So talk away ming, but remember your nothing untill you put your money where your mouth is.

      -=M=-

      Delete
    12. Getting real tired of your shit, fake M.

      The M at 6:44 is not me. You can tell he's not me because just last week I was explaining how giving any money to anyone is a scam, and how I had scammed Ming because he'd made his 11 billion isk donation to James. I've made it clear by now that I think that giving money to anyone is falling for a scam of some sort. Yet now I'm supposed to be claiming to have given 30-40 billion isk to thousands of miners over the last couple of years? That'd just be stupid. And remember, I'm M. I'm not stupid, if anything, you're stupid!

      *gives fake M a hug*

      -=M=-

      Delete
    13. And what business is it of yours what I waste my time and money on, ming? You are wasting disproportionate amounts of time trying to tell us what we can and cannot do, that is a severe crime, you little old busybody...

      Delete
    14. How flattering that anon @7:13 would pretend to be me :)
      My guess is its either ming because i look better then him, or maria cause she has a serious case of ming crush. Its ok, i dont get upset like code does :)
      Most likely its ming thou, scared that i will scam him out of more isk.

      -=M=-
      Just out of curiousity ming, how much isk do you have at the moment? Im not shy ill say how much i got. Just looked and im at 287 mil and a few thousand in change.

      Delete
  3. I dropped out of space law school, but still remember one truism. A miner who chooses to act as his own attorney has a goofus for a client!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It does not matter whether he acts as his own lawyer or gets a real one he is in a kangaroo court run by the new order circus, they will string him along till he blows a gasket...

      Delete
  4. Who that's not insane choose a fake attorney?
    It's more cleaver to not choose than to play with fake stuff.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who is more foolish, the fool (james) or his flock of foolish followers (code)?

      Delete
  5. Gaylord FappingtonMarch 12, 2015 at 8:02 PM

    Miners think that we're here to harm them. Nothing could be further from the truth. I wanted to make sure this miner got every bit of help he could get, including the best space-law representation.

    Every time I liquidate a barge I make a small investment in the salvation of a miner. When instances like this arise, I make a bigger investment in the miner.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i wonder which one is despised more??? goons?? or code ??

      Delete
    2. Objectively, I think "Highsec Carebears" are actually more despised than CODE. and Goons put together.

      Delete
    3. Code < goons but... code + goons = a fat pile of steaming dog shit
      ~BE~

      Delete
  6. CHODE. The most leet pvp group in hisec * in before miner calm down and chode always wins

    (*as long as the targets can't shoot back)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Remember, proper planning prevents piss poor performance. If you're not on the winning side of a turkey shoot, you have room for improvement.

      Delete
  7. Here we go again, another Kangaroo court...his was dumb the second time you code monkies did it...now it is torture...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is no doubt that this miner, like all the others, will confess to its crimes the same way all miners confess to their crimes. 100% torture-free guaranteed!

      Delete
    2. The thing is, he committed no crime the agent did, the miner did not get Concordokken, the agent did, you are so stupid you don't even realize that you lot are pirates...

      Delete
    3. If only Code would admit to their crimes, but they lie so much they wont ever.

      Delete
    4. @Anon8:52
      We are not pirates. We are missionaries. With an indestructible mandate.

      Delete
    5. You keep telling yourself that ming. While we continue to do what we want however we want in highsec. You, your code, and that buffoon you have for a leader cannot stop us...

      Delete
    6. @BuffoonAnon12:26

      I shall respond by reading a passage from the New Halaima Code of Conduct that specifically references the "Haha I'm mining right now and you can't stop me" carebear excuse.

      Hear now the famous words of the Saviour of Highsec:

      "As Supreme Protector, some may expect me to doggedly enforce the rules at all times against all offenders. This is a misperception of my role. Aside from those who have purchased indulgences, I will bump whomever I choose, whenever I choose. Your mining operations are entirely at my mercy. If I feel like stopping you from mining, I will; if not, I won't." - James 315

      As you can clearly see, your mining operations are completely dependent upon the will of the New Order. Should any Agent feel like stopping you from mining, you will be stopped.

      Delete
    7. Poor ming, a little handicapped upstairs I see...My comment means if you fell like stopping me, you cannot, if you don't feel like stopping me, then there is no issue...either way, I am free to do what I want...what the buffoon wants, does not matter...code is a worthless lie...

      Delete
    8. You take two miners,
      and two quarters, and you don't
      quite get a dollar.

      Delete
    9. That would be 49 cents more then what you get with ming

      #mingtsocarebearextreme

      Delete
    10. Calm down, miner!

      Delete
    11. Anonymous...why so butthurt? Why so hatefull? You do realize you're playing a game right? You do realize that you are either the predator or the prey and you choose which you will be...right? Do you blame the eagle for eating the mouse...or the lion for the gazelle? Do you support seal rights because that mean old great white shark is just a sociopathic meanie? I find humor in the childish insults you toss in an attempt to make yourself look like the "better person". It's really just so damn cute. XOXO

      Delete
    12. Where is the hurt or hate, I am just telling the truth, unlike the lies repeatedly told on this site, the new order are criminals, as shown by their sec status, you will never subjugate the free...no matter what lies jamie comes up with nor how many he spews...

      Delete
    13. BuffoonAnon, the hate we refer to is that you're here, every week, insulting the Father of Highsec and his noble agents. If we were truly irrelevant to your life, you wouldn't be spending your time on minerbumping. And if we were truly powerless to harm or control you, you wouldn't be posting anonymously. Words are cheap, but you demonstrate the truth of things with your actions.

      Delete
    14. In never claimed the new order was irrevelant...just that they are liars and pirates...you have to keep an eye on such a scurvy crowd...and if the truth is insulting to the buffoon and his troup of monkies, then you need to start searching for the yellow brick road...

      Delete
    15. Oh yeah, you never did answer my question last time. You dislike the New Order and its Agents. Alright, cool. After having said it so many times, we know how you feel about the government of Highsec and about its Knights and Agents. So why do you keep saying it? Why do you keep on commenting to repeat the same things ("buffoon of highsec", "you're pirates", etc)? You must know by now that we know how you feel. It's a significant investment of time, above and beyond keeping an eye on us. So what are you hoping to achieve by repeating it every week?

      Delete
    16. Why do you keep lying about being the government, the real in game police shoot you whenever you try to enforce you will on someone...that shows that you are not the government...

      Delete
    17. @Maria
      I think his belief pattern goes like this:
      Someday, if he just repeats it enough, then, like the walls of Jericho, the New Order will come crashing down.

      However, unfortunately, we now live in the 21st century, where we have learned how to structure our words and organization to be impervious to carebear whining. BuffoonAnon can carry on for 1,000 years, through generations of Agents, but, due to our innovation, he shall never succeed in making the slightest dent in the Truth of the New Order.

      Delete
    18. You didn't answer my question, BuffoonAnon.

      Yeah, that's what I figure too, Ming. But I'm curious to see what justification BuffoonAnon gives himself for his behavior. Maybe he'll surprise us with his answer!

      Delete
    19. Maria: If we were truly irrelevant to your life, you wouldn't be spending your time on minerbumping.

      So says maria who replies to nearly every post. Guess we are relevant to her life!

      -=M=-

      Delete
    20. Maria: Words are cheap, but you demonstrate the truth of things with your actions.

      So true maria, CODE. shows how they are criminals every day when they get killed by concord.

      -=M=-

      Delete
  8. If you disagree with this "court," come over to Heroes of Highsec and support the cause!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Why does the Iceman type like liberty? Or is it just me?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. types like a Veers alt to me

      Delete
  10. The ignore option works wonders. What will these code bot monkey do when everyone starts ignoring them? I will tell you what they will do. They will get on their soapbox and start screaming for people to pay attention to them. The stage is set, the orchestra is playing, but the theater is empty. Putting them on ignore knocks them off their soapbox. However, you still have to watch out for them trying to gank you though.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I used to be a high sec miner, now I'm not because I found out low sec and wh ninja gas mining is much more exciting and profitable, and high sec mining is boring, but when I did mine in high sec CODE agents would try and gank me and utterly fail, because they didn't think I tanked my Mack, I would also laugh and insult them every chance I got and they most likely put me on their red pen list. But here is where It gets interesting, when I stopped high sec mining I also gave this website a good read and I found out that I completely agree with the code and decided I would support CODE. by becoming a part time bumper, so I left my lame mining corp and now stay in an ncp corp to avoid war decs, I also help out local agents by scouting for them, and when I need isk I just take my prospect out and gas mine. I have purchased shares and plan on purchasing more in the future. The funny thing is I copied James's bump fleet issue stabber and have had a lot of fun angering miners in ice belts. Just yesterday one of the bigger mining fleets actually got 4 cats together and tried to gank me in my stabber, It was a complete and utter fail, they landed on grid, I activated my mwd and got away, turned around and bumped one of the cats just to piss em off, they opened fire and my shields said 95% when concord showed up and blow em up, I laughed my ass off.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This miner gets it.
      The Code is the one true law.
      Happiness ensues.

      Delete
    2. Great story.

      Welcome to EvE my friend. o7

      Delete
  12. So Iceman is a Veers alt. You can tell this by the fact that he's been in HS for 4 fucking years doing the most boring activity short of AFK incursions. he's mining ice. How the fuck do you stay insane after 4 years of ice mining or shooting red incursion crosses? after 4 years you start getting these illusions of being a great crusader against CODE. stroking your ego almost as much as you stroke you tiny little limp penis in front of male on male porn. Gezz Veers start playing the game instead of hoarding space bucks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Calm down. Homophobia and small-dick jokes are beneath true New Order agents. Leave that childishness for the carebears.

      Delete
  13. Tomu 'Coin' TsuruomoMarch 13, 2015 at 10:19 AM

    It is astonoshing how much patience takes to deal with uncompliant miners and their mazes of absurdity and inverted emotions. How agents keeping their sanity handling these daily is puzzling. No doubt, only faith and dedication are helping.

    ReplyDelete
  14. DICKS DICKS DICKS you new order people are all DICKS!!!!!!!!!! sumone needs to stop youuuuuuuuuuuuu! Just lots my venture you shitards! This game was relaxing til you came around MY SYSTEMMMM

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Miner, calm down!

      Read the Code!

      Delete
  15. These comments are delicious. Well done anons!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. REPENT AND BE SAVED EVIIL GANKER!!!!!!!! YOU ARE RUNING THE GAME FOR EVERYONE

      Delete
  16. Armande ChristophMarch 13, 2015 at 5:19 PM

    The butt hurt from miners is always so delicious to read.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ming is so angry that he soils his pants.
    Maybe the extremely small sexual organ is the real problem for him.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Well if anyone would be able to know that for sure anon @6:43, it would be james.
    So, James, is what Anon @6:43 says about ming true?

    -=M=-

    ReplyDelete

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