Indeed, the carebears were expecting news of a rather different kind. Just days before FanFest 2015, nefarious rebel leader JTClone Ares was in a secret channel with Jennifer en Marland. For some reason, he also invited Agent Natsumi Nishizawa to the channel.
Natsumi Nishizawa > so JT is this channel ever gonna be used for anything more than a cuddling place ofr me and jennifer?Out of nowhere, the rebel leader disclosed an extraordinary secret: He had friends in high up there places. In EVE politics. In addition to enjoying his friend's friendship, JTClone had access to intel.
Jennifer en Marland > please save me from the cuddles
JTClone Ares > sorry about that
JTClone Ares > socket crash
JTClone Ares > it seems from the intel from a friend who is high up there in the eve politics
JTClone Ares > it seems that here soon since new evidence is rising upAccording to JTClone's highly placed source, CCP discovered new evidence "rising up". For the first time, there was solid proof that CODEdot was run by Goons with bots who were driving away new players. Rebels long suspected this was true, but to have evidence...!
JTClone Ares > on the new player ratio has been dropping because of code
JTClone Ares > and that a huge majority of code are goonswarm
JTClone Ares > CCP is coming in with a massive banning spree because they have been caught botting
JTClone Ares > if they fuck up againHaving dropped this bombshell, JTClone casually asked his fellow channel members what was new.
JTClone Ares > so yeah
JTClone Ares > im just chilling and doing my own thing for now. building isk then of course later on rebuild an alliance. plus other things
JTClone Ares > so what are you guys up to?
Natsumi Nishizawa > ummm you do know that ccp has offically stated there they cant find any link to griefing and causeing noobs to unsubOur Agent challenged JTClone's intel. But JTClone confirmed that the info had "risen". Indeed, on an earlier occasion there had been proof available, but at the last moment before the proof was presented, something had happened. Luckily, the new info rose up.
JTClone Ares > it was the information they did
JTClone Ares > not have proof of
JTClone Ares > and when someone was about to show proof idk what happened.
JTClone Ares > so new info has risen so they will take action later on though
Natsumi Nishizawa > https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=5504176#post5504221Agent Natsumi cited CCP Rise's famous forum post, which debunked the myth that griefers drive away new players. But JTClone was unimpressed. He'd done his own study, on Steam.
JTClone Ares > i read
JTClone Ares > there are many reasons for why players unsub
JTClone Ares > i have known many pilots who code has harassed have dropped eve so i got them on steam and now playing different games
Natsumi Nishizawa > yeah so stop pretending that CCP is going to come to the rescue and start banning code they have said time and time again vs a thousand complaints and petitions that Code is well within the eulaNevertheless, JTClone conceded that his intel might be wrong. His source was specialized, with a very narrow focus: New information and old information.
JTClone Ares > nah
JTClone Ares > right now its all talk
JTClone Ares > but hey, I only use my intel source for new info and old info. I stopped keeping tabs on code for a while
We'll keep you updated as JTClone receives more secrets about EVE politics. Until then, feel free to speculate about the identity of JTClone's source.
Beautifully written piece. Made me chuckle.ReplyDelete
Yea, its pretty good fan fiction. James is starting to get good at it after all these years.ReplyDelete
It's safe to say JTClone's secret source is his assReplyDelete
It's me, I'm JTClone's source. I pledged my loyalty to JTClone a year ago, I haven't abandoned him yet, and I don't intend to anytime soon.ReplyDelete
JTClone always gives me a chuckle. The thing I like about him over Veers is that JT always seems to have this great intel while Veers just talks out his ass. I remember a while back the pathetic attempt Veers made to get code intel from local chat, somehow that's not as good as JT's secure source.ReplyDelete
When Notorious Rebel Jennifer en Marland finally defects to CODE, it shall be due to the horrible snuggle abuse she received from JT.ReplyDelete
The horror. The horror.
I think that one day good ol' Jen will come on over to the winning team. She's got more in common with us than not.Delete
Give her time.
meh seems made upReplyDelete
Anon4:02... your disappointment is irrelevant, but it does make me smile.ReplyDelete
The Colonel were you born stupid of did you have to work hard to get that way?Delete
ooohhhh.... good one. I'll counter with, "Out of 350 million sperm, you were the fastest?"Delete
There you have it folks, the colonel worked hard at it!!!Delete
But you go ahead and keep thinking that if it makes you happy, would not want to disrupt your "blog warrior victory" in your mom's basement. Remember to clean up after your done fapping.
Natsumi Nishizawa > so JT is this channel ever gonna be used for anything more than a cuddling place ofr me and jennifer?ReplyDelete
Jennifer en Marland > please save me from the cuddles
Haha, this is brilliant!
I was in that channel for nearly 2 months JT was there for the first week or so then disappeared until the day this convo happened. For all the time in between it was me and Jennifer alone in the romantic candlelight cuddling. *cuddling intensifies*Delete
JTCLONE: EVERYONES JACKASS FOR EVERONES LOVE OF JACKASS'SReplyDelete
Code within EVE EULA?ReplyDelete
Mingeldonglefuckhead said that no Code follower cares about EULA so who is lying?
i come here from time to time to remind myself that there is a place where all the special snowflakes can come to compare their special kind of stupid... and it's still here!! thriving it seems.good,i will go away happy now, thank you very much minerbumping.comReplyDelete
Wow Ming... What the hell did you do to get all of this attention and tears? I feel jealous now :PReplyDelete
~ Asia Leigh
In a way this convo does have a small amount of truth to it as ccp,s security team did reveal the numbers involving botting in eve and the biggest numbers came from nul sec rental alliances 3 of the biggest to be exact. So these alliances may want to worry if there members are on ccp,s bann list. This all can be confirmed by watching ccp,s security teams presentation from this last fan fest.ReplyDelete
Pay attention around 25:15.ReplyDelete
I enjoy the JT clone posts because I joined one of his fail-corps my first week in the game back in January 2014. I'm re-subbing when school is over, but i wont be coming back to him. I did add him on steam then, i believe he is reffering to me hahaha.ReplyDelete