Monday, March 2, 2015

The Strange Case of Dr. Compliant and Mr. Bot-Aspirant, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Mildron Klinker easily sold a mining permit to Doctor Schutz. The experience of being ganked by Mildron had won Doctor Schutz over to our side. The gallant miner even voluntarily revealed the name of his alt and purchased a permit for him, too. Everything was going great until Mildron paid a surprise visit to Doctor Schutz, who refused to respond in local for several minutes. Mildron had no choice but to gank him once more, after which Doctor Schutz's personality unwent a most disturbing transformation.

Could this docile, permit-carrying miner really be the same guy who told Agent Mildron to "go choke on a cock"? It was hard to believe. Mildron had to see it with his own eyes, so he convo'ed the miner.
Mildron Klinker > o/
Doctor Schutz > Go fuck yourself
Doctor Schutz > 30 fucking second response time
Doctor Schutz > fuck yourself backwards troll
Seeing it for himself, our hero couldn't deny the terrible truth. He could only ask why.
Mildron Klinker > what went wrong here? you didn't follow the CODE.
Doctor Schutz > I was chatting with my cousin you prick
Doctor Schutz > you could have easily messaged me
Doctor Schutz > fuck you
It was as if some malevolent force had taken hold of Doctor Schutz and moved him about the asteroid belts like a puppet. (Until Mildron podded him, that is. Afterward Schutz could only move about the insides of a station.)
Mildron Klinker > sure, dock up when you do that, did you read
Doctor Schutz > go fuck yourself dishonorable fuck
Doctor Schutz > fuck offf
Doctor Schutz > with your worthless corp and your worthless life
Every Gallant knows that while mining, you're supposed to pay attention to local. Corp chat is a privilege reserved for those who are not actively engaged in PvE. Or, at a minimum, one should keep the local window visible while using other chat channels. Doctor Schutz didn't care. Maybe he wasn't a Gallant? He sure didn't sound like one.
Mildron Klinker > i can't help you don't follow the CODE as you stated you would!
Doctor Schutz > no, you are not a civilized humn=an being. You are worthless. Worthless. I will speak to you as I speak to an anal wart.
Doctor Schutz > Now, go gank others with your worthless code of conduct
Doctor Schutz > and your worthless life
Only a few days before, the good Doctor was happily buying permits and pledging loyalty to the Code in his bio. Today, he was a monster.
Mildron Klinker > eahm, if you say you would do something, would you do that something?
Doctor Schutz > i paid you for the fucking license - i deserved to be messaged
Doctor Schutz > not to be scammed into a 30 sec window of respinse time
Doctor Schutz > go fuck yourself
Doctor Schutz > you took everything i had a second time
The miner fumed and raged. He'd lost everything he owned. Without the mining barge, he had no more EVE assets whatsoever. Perhaps this is what happens to any miner who tastes poverty? Mildron refused to accept it.
Mildron Klinker > i was messaging you in local! i didn't give you 30 seconds, even more than a minute, no response!
Doctor Schutz > I WAS IN CORP CHANNEL!
Doctor Schutz > Now, once again, i have to scrape everything i have to get a mining ship again
Doctor Schutz > ill just quit, and suggest to all my friends never to try he game
Doctor Schutz > thats more damaging to you than anything
Doctor Schutz > because pricks like you make this game worthless
It was official: Doctor Schutz was a Goofus. He threatened to quit the game and reduce CCP's subscription revenues. Which apparently everyone cares about now.
Mildron Klinker > i can't help that, if you have read the CODE you would have known that you should respond to an Agent if he demands it!
Mildron Klinker > i can't help that you need more guidance to this game, i would suggest WOW for you.....
Doctor Schutz > there we go
Doctor Schutz > that should help you along
Doctor Schutz > enjoy the bounty
It was bizarre. The miner truly had taken leave of his senses. But there was another mystery...

The miner claimed to have absolutely no EVE assets. He said there was no more point in playing the game; he would have to start over. Yet he was able to put a 100 million isk bounty on Agent Mildron.
Doctor Schutz > hhahahaha the truth is - i have tons of money - because i have a life , and ISK is worthless, and unlimited for me
Mildron Klinker > did you check my current bounty ?
Doctor Schutz > i did, 100mil more added to it
Doctor Schutz > =)
Mildron Klinker > thanks, i will enjoy the ISK, but the 10 million was good enough... you should just follow the CODE, that's all and it wouldn't cost you any ISK more
Doctor Schutz, who had been ganked while mining in a Retriever and even a Venture, had plenty of money to throw around on bounties. The miner cackled with glee and fully gave himself to the madness within.
Doctor Schutz > sub-humans, like yourself Mildron, deserve to have sub-par lives. which is why you live by a game, a game clan, a game clans Code...ROFL.....
Doctor Schutz > now, Mildron, go away, and continue to contribute nothing to the planet
Mildron Klinker > we live by the CODE. You should have done that too
Mildron Klinker > such a shame, i was hoping you where on the right path...
Doctor Schutz > Of psychopathy? No thx
Doctor Schutz > Scuddle of now Mildron
Mildron Klinker > this is James 315 territory, if you want to move, you are free to go to lowsec or nullsec
Witnessing such a spectacle, Mildron could only hope that there was a cure to be found.

Meanwhile, Doctor Schutz's alt complained in local.

Highsec is full of wonders. Our Agents don't claim to know or understand everything, just most things. We're working on the rest. Until the day of final victory arrives, the New Order's spirit of adventure will see it through. There's no problem in highsec we can't solve.


  1. I certainly hope "Doctor" Schultz, (who has "Stage 3 cancer," according to one of his posts, and uses mining to "relax") certainly gets better, and becomes Code-compliant. So that way, in fifteen years, when he is still mining, he may mine in peace.

  2. Schultz is the ultimate Veers alt... Always ready to spew rage in local, Always ready to lie thru his teeth to make other people feel bad, Always stroking his ego.

    Veers alts are all the same

    1. ehhh I'm gonna go ahead and ask that we give the "Veers alts" accusations a rest. Veers actually posts here under his name; which is something that I can't say of many other carebears that post here. Not only this, but Veers has kind of given up the fight, and there are other, newer enemies of righteousness that Agents of the New Order could be focusing our ministry on.

    2. Yeah, what's with the "Veers alts" meme? I've only ever seen it espoused by anonymous posters, never by Agents of the New Order. Come now, it's not like Veers would bother posting under alt names, dude loves attention and would rather it be directed toward his main.

    3. Ming Tso and Maria Malukker, EVE's two biggest whores with no competition.
      Maria Malukker also admitted that it helped to rape kids.

    4. [citation needed]

    5. Sounds like a bunch of Veers apologists to me. All real real agents know that 80% of the PvE players in minerbumping posts are in fact alts of Veers Belvar. He is the ventriloquist who runs highsec.

    6. Ming Tso, the retarded EVE player can't say anything.
      Playing EVE like Code really fuck you up.

    7. It sure is easy to launch personal attacks behind a veil of anonymity. It's hard to actually put your name out there for people to sling mud at.

      Good thing Agents of the New Order have the Code to shield them from such human garbage.

    8. Well, child rape is a pretty crazy accusation to level in an internet video game.
      Are you sure that it's that? Or is it something that you "equate" to child rape?

      For the record: The New Order is pointedly against child rape, and if you have any evidence of a New Order Agent raping a child, we would like you to present it so that we can alert the authorities.

    9. Ming Tso, you should know if there are any child abusers, it takes one to know one.
      But maybe you are to retarded to find out.

    10. Okay, according to your logic:
      1. If "it takes one to know one," and
      2. You "know" that I'm a "child rapist,"
      3. Then aren't you the child rapist?

      Seriously, Verbal aikedo is just too easy with carebears such as yourself.

      Also get me those economy reports mmkthx

    11. Miner, calm down.

    12. No, seriously...miner, calm down.

    13. Miner, calm down.

    14. Miner, calm down.

    15. Maria Malukker, whore don't let your customers wait.

  3. Lies, lies, and more lies
    Monotonous, and routine
    Highsec needs cleansing

  4. Yes it does maria, if the new order left it would be a great improvement, and a lot fewer lies, like the whopper jamie tells about using proxies without peoples permission, and acting as if there is nothing wrong with it...

  5. In other news, james 30 billion scam fell in rank one more place.

    In an interview with james the following was said:
    Reporter: James 315, how do you feel about falling in rankings yet again with your scam?
    James 315: I guess ill have to work harder. How dare someone beat me at running a scam!

  6. One thing that stands out is that Dr. Schutlz will, supposedly, speak to the Agent as one does to an anal wart.

    I admit, I have never addressed such a wart, or indeed any wart. As such, I am wondering how one does so, or indeed under what circumstances one might have occasion to do so.


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