Saturday, March 21, 2015

Born into the Code

Enforcing the Code and teaching carebears about EVE often involves doing things to the carebears that they don't like. Does it make a difference, though? Are we transforming highsec, or merely griefing it? Let's find out.

It was another day on patrol for Agent Tisiphone Dira. Before she got a word out, the carebear confessed to violating the Code. Case closed.

Carebears love to make excuses for being AFK: Fixing a neighbor's plumbing, having diabetes, getting a hand amputated, etc. Most unseemly are the carebears who blame their Code violations on their children.

Albert Hoffstein confirmed that he went AFK because of a baby. How does a seasoned Agent respond to that?

You can tell that Tisiphone knows the Code backwards and forwards. An excuse for violating the Code is always, in the final analysis, an opportunity to follow the Code.

I would encourage anyone with a baby on the way to push their partner toward naming the child James, in honour of myself. Especially if it's a boy. I offer this suggestion not out of self-promotion, but to help normalize the culture of the Code.

Of course, not everyone is receptive to the idea.

There's more than one way to give birth to change. Consider the story of Matt Issier, a highsec miner who played EVE off and on... until he encountered the Code.

Like so many other miners, Matt was ganked and threatened to quit EVE. When he read MinerBumping, he discovered that he was, in his words, "a dumb carebear". Most carebears come to this realization sooner or later, even if they don't admit it. What set Matt apart was that he knew he didn't want to be a dumb carebear.

Matt joined up with a good group of miners. When they were ganked, they decided to join the New Order and gank other miners. Player retention ahoy!

The truth is, the New Order does make a difference. As a direct result of our actions, countless players have learned how to enjoy EVE. If it weren't for the Code, EVE would be a very different place today.

Let us return to our earlier question--do we transform highsec or grief it? Look at Matt Issier and you'll see the answer as plain as day. We transform it. We transform the heck out of it!

And that's why every fight that the New Order fights is a good fight.


  1. The Code always loses! Always!

    1. I've seen nothing but 100% pure win on this blog, so no, we don't lose ;)

  2. And soon Ming the angry will post about his fake donation that he refuse to give proof of.
    Must be really unhealthy for poor Ming to be that angry 24/7/365, can't be good for his blood pressure.

    1. I think you have him confused with the butthurt miners who send tear mails and death threats. Need proof? just look at any miner grab bag article.

    2. But i really really did give a donation to code! Why wont anyone believe me?!
      Dont talk about my blood pressure!! Man! that just makes my blood boil when you do that!!

      Mingy Tso

    3. Want to see a carebear change its tune in 2.5 seconds?


    5. Shows a snippet
      Cropped and short
      proves nothing really
      except ming is always hurt

    6. Carebear is shown truth
      Still doesn't believe its eyes
      Truly it is backwards

    7. Ming, you said you could provide API key, why don't give us that instead?
      Or did you lie about that and the donation?


    9. @Anon10:27
      Oh? I said I would provide you with an API key? Who's lying now?
      You have the proof. Are you still going to argue that my donation wasn't real and that I'm actually James 315? Photoshopping my "own" donations?

    10. Yes Mingelingading you told everyone in a post that you could provide an API Key to prove your donation, if you don't remember that you should really quit playing that game before you get a brain damage that won't heal itself.

      No API Key no proof, even my 4 year old daughter can use photo editing software to fake images like you did.

    11. "
      Ming TsoMarch 13, 2015 at 11:32 PM
      Sure. I donated 11 billion isk to the New Order! You know I did it because my face is right up there on left hand side of the page, proudly beaming out from the #1 spot with the big fat 11 billion under my name. Investing in the New Order is one of the best things I've ever done. It means more Catalysts, more Taloses, more code-compliance, and more stories from James 315! Not only that, but my gift is CREST verifiable!

      Now, not to be outdone, M has countered that he has donated almost quadruple that amount helping the victims of Code ganking!

      However, there is a difference between myself and M!

      I am telling the truth and can provide API verified proof of my transaction!
      And M is lying, hasn't helped anybody, and is completely unable to provide proof of his claims! It would appear that CODE. wins again!

      This, M's loss, is partly due to the fact that he cannot reveal his in-game name. That's okay though- because, if he did, he knows that it would immediately be placed upon the Red Pen List. His permit fee would be tripled! I can understand the desire to stay off that list- it's a real bitch once the New Order has set you red.

      But other than that, it's yet another Victory for the New Order!

    12. Poor Ming, who is lying now?
      You don't even remember what you typed some days ago :P
      EVE damage some players brain faster than others.

    13. Ming is part of code, thus thinking on his part is not a requirement. Obeying his master james is required, obeying Goons is required, but again thinking is not required.

      I would love to see him show his api where it shows his transfer to james, as well as his balance before and after, but ming wont do that, if he does it will show his carebear side.

    14. oh an anon, i love that "Mingelingading"! There needs to be a meme about that lol!

    15. Oh, well, I guess I could provide API proof.

      But that doesn't mean that I have to. Being a New Order Agent grants me the power to determine what carebears are allotted, based on what is available. And, as with ore and ice, if I decide you shall have an API key, then you shall have it. Until then, you may only have a redacted snippet of my wallet journal.

      Thanks for playing.

    16. Meaning ming cant provide it because it does not exist, so he wont provide it.
      To bad he goes back on his word, but that is typical code for you.

    17. Ming: "Being a New Order Agent grants me the power to determine what carebears are allotted, based on what is available."
      This means he did not donate it, thus he even if he provides api he cant prove it, because it never existed.
      Nice try ming, but you fail.
      Thanks for trying.

    18. Stop it! Everyone! Im ming tso, and the tso stands for tso fake.
      Please believe me when i say i donated to james cause. I cant show proof, but my word should be enough, im an honorless agent of james, that should stand for something right?
      Dont laugh at me, its not funny!!

      Mingy Tso

    19. Why should we belive you Mingelingdingdong?
      You didn't even dare to receive proof of a cat put to sleep.
      Just remember Ming, I collect everything from this site to prove you are lying.
      The hardest part in lying is to remember what you have said before, you are showing signs of not remembering what you said.
      That means you are lying and didn't donate at all.

      Poor Ming have to tell lies to get popular.
      How sad is that?

    20. "Just remember Ming, I collect everything from this site to prove you are lying."

      Obsessed much?

    21. Wow. Look at all these angry farmers rising up from the fields, trying their hardest to scratch me with their "pitchforks." Demanding that the world is flat, when I say that it is round!

      Whether or not I gave James 315 11 billion isk is irrelevant. What is infinitely more important, (and easily verifiable) is that I am the #9 Shareholder in the New Order. Just click on the "Shareholders" link at the top of the page, scroll down, and count the spaces until you see my pretty mug. (It should be 9 down.) Alternately, if that's too hard for you, you can refresh, and see me right there on the left, on the top of the Donor's List, smiling in all my glory.

      If James were in the habit of elevating certain posters on his Shareholder list because of their awesome postings on Minerbumping (as opposed to the good old fashioned way of purchasing shares) then I suppose He would be honoring me by an unprecedented amount! Especially in the absurd case that I did not transfer Him 11 billion isk. I would be the first shareholder to be elevated to Erotica 1 levels without giving James 315 a cent! Which means my posting by itself would have to be worth 11 billion isk! In comparison, what is carebear posting worth? Less than nothing.

      I must take this moment to say how much of a return that the purchase of 11,000 shares of New Order stock has gotten me. I have already been loaded down with buckets full of solid gold carebear tears. Between M's claiming that he "scammed" me into doing it and the other carebears' outright denial that I did it, I can say, more smiles have come to my face over this past month than I ever could have expected.

      Thank you for supporting me, and the New Order, and keep that denial train going.


      Oh yeah, and you never had your cat put to sleep. Because Miners will say anything to get out of Code enforcement.

    22. Merrizon, obsessed with the truth yes. Don't like people like you that thinks it's OK to lie.

    23. Sorry Ming, a liar like you will never make me angry it just gives me more energy to prove you are a big fat liar :-P

      Try harder Mingelingdingdong, I know it's hard to stop lying when you think it gets you benefits.

      Funny to see that you think you know anything about the anonymous posters here, you mix them up like the liar you are.

    24. AnonymousMarch 23, 2015 at 12:27 PM

      All this obsession over how a stranger plays a video game. Think you need to stop taking the game so seriously.

    25. Merrizon, this site is NOT a video game so he is a liar outside the game.
      And speaking about obsession about how other plays a game, does Code players not obsessively care how other players play the game?

    26. @Anon1:45
      It is important to understand that the Code is crystal-clear about the limits of Agents' enforcement power. It only cares about actions in-game, and as such, CODE. couldn't care less about real-life miners. I mean they work hard, and take significant risks. They should be respected.

      Miners in EVE, however, are the ones who who minimize efforts, don't like taking risks, spend most of their time scared, labeling their friends as enemies, and can't make a comeback post to save their lives.

      These are the wretched individuals we are trying to train.

    27. Miner, as an Agent, I'm going to prescribe that you take some time off of F5ing this site every thirty seconds. You're seeing so many things that don't exist, like "I didn't donate 11 billion isk to the New Order," "Your cat dying" and "Somewhere me calling myself an idiot," all of which are completely made up, by you.

      The Code tells me I should be concerned for you. So therefore, I am showing concern.
      Calm down, miner.

    28. Miner, please, calm down. This kind of obsession over a stranger on the internet can't be healthy for you.

      There are (presumably) people who love you, Anon@5:18. They're worried about you. Stop this obsessive behavior before it's too late.

    29. Ah, Mingelingdingdong can't handle this so he needs to hide behind Maria?
      That's Code style ;-)
      Run and hide when you get to much to fight against.

      I assume you know every player you gank and "try to save" right?
      If not you are really unhealthy obsessed with strangers and how they choose to play a game.
      Try harder.

    30. You know ming, if it where true you donated isk to james, and you where a real honorable agent, then you would not feel the need to brag about your supposed donation. Look at how many agents supposedly donated isk and yet they are not here on minerbumping bragging. Why? Because that is good enough for them, they do not feel the need to brag because they do not have huge ego's and feel the need to prove themselves. That is your big problem ming, you have a huge ego, and feel you need to have people worshiping you over a donation you never did. Because the donation does not really exist now you have to make up excuses and lies to cover up the first lie. Soon enough you will make up more excuses and lies to cover up yet more lies, because that is the way you are ming. Always have been, always will be.

      Rage on ming,
      You beautiful snowflake.

    31. @Maria MalukkerMarch 23, 2015 at 5:22 PM
      Hush! hush maria! go sit in the corner and be quiet. Good girl!
      Now lay there and hush! When we want to hear you we will blow on a whistle.
      No! stay! Hush!.....good girl!

    32. Ugh, carebears. You really do have to feel a little bad for people like Star, or Held...this is what they've chosen to try defending.

      From the childishness of anon@5:29 trying to anger someone by making fun of their name (which, seriously, should have been left behind in elementary school), to M at 5:30 with his cute attempts at trolling by calling people demeaning names, to Anon@5:33, who I can't tell if he's being misogynistic or just generally's all a bit sickening.

      I have to wonder: does mining make people become horrible? Or do only horrible people want to become miners?

    33. Maria, so you say your boyfriend Mingelingdingdong doesn't do whatever he can to try and provoke every anonymous poster here that's not a Code follower?
      He even likes other people's real life sorrows.
      So again, who is bad and who is to scared to stand by his word?
      All you do is to try to hide all your lies, hard to do when I spider this site.
      But keep trying, I need to make adjustments to my algorithms.

    34. When have you ever seen me resort to the schoolyard tactic of changing someone's name to make fun of it? Or mocking someone's name at all?

      Go on, "spider" through your bookmarks of every comment I've ever made. I'll wait.

    35. Maria, seen that so many times.
      Even when people ask you to stop calling them miners you just keep going.
      So even if you try to look good you are as bad as anyone else you say is bad.
      Someone who smiles at other people's sorrows are a perfect candidate for some nasty medical experiments.

      You and Mingelingdingdong said that you don't care that you violate EVE EULA when attacking a minority of players.

      So crawl back to the corner and stay there so Mingelingdingdong doesn't soil himself again.

    36. I asked for an example of me making fun of someone's name. You replied with "but you call miners "miner"". That's all you were able to find?

    37. @Anon 6:12
      Those miners who do not follow the Code, such as yourself, are meant to be mocked, harrassed, bullied, and otherwise convinced that the Code is the One True Way for PvE in Highsec, as well as very important to understand and know in all walks of life in EVE, and out of it.

      We do not take pleasure in your real life pain. But we certainly do know when you're trying to use irrelevant real life experiences to garner sympathy. Had you not been using your real life pain as leverage to garner said sympathy, you wouldn't have brought it up on this site- instead you would have remained silent about it, leaving it as an unimportant detail, irrelevant to establishing your innocence of violating the Code.
      But, as they say, "Anything you say can and will be used against you in the Court of James 315." You said it, and that made it legal for us to use in prosecuting you.

      We stand behind every statement we make, fully immune, (albeit innocent) of all of your accusations. And we shall be standing here, enforcing the Code, long after you have given up posting here.

      Never forget, it is impossible for the Code to ever lose.

    38. Ahahaha, this miner thinks we're violating the EVE EULA. And it thinks we should be the victims of "nasty medical experiements."

      Just goes to show you the hostility and outright anger harbored within its shallow existence vat.

      We shall shatter its existence with the light of the Code and open it to a whole other world, where such hostility is completely unnecessary.

    39. Mingelingdingdong fat blob liar try to hunt for rage?
      Give us that API you brag about or is it a lie like everything else in your life?
      Really sad to see a lonely player like you Mingelingdingdong that need to lie to feel needed.
      No, it's not impossible you have showed that so many times now that it's soon true to everyone.
      You show that every time you rage like you do now, poor Mingelingdingdong.

    40. Poor Mingelingdingdong is so angry now that I have to smile ;-)

    41. .....ugh, miners. I really wish your kind were less disgusting.

    42. Can't Mingelingdingdong protect himself?

    43. Ming's fine, it's not him I'm worried about. It's you. How are you such a disgusting person? Did mining and carebearing turn you into this?

      Even now, you are incapable of understanding that the reason I take issue with your behavior isn't because I think something so pathetic and disgusting could hurt a New Order's because it saddens me, as a person, to see the depths to which someone (that would be you, before you get cute) can sink over a video game. It's imaginary spaceships and imaginary money in an imaginary world, but here you are, lurking on our site 24/7 and desperately trying to anger us or hurt our feelings. It's sad. How are you so willing to sink to these depths over a video game?

    44. @Anon6:48
      Calm down, Miner.

      Only one of us is calling people names and banging angrily on their keyboards. (And that person is you.)

      None of your rage shall negatively impact the Code or its Agents. We shall simply continue our Code Enforcement actions unmoved by the impotent threats of carebears and their dead animals. Praise be to James 315.

    45. You see, you can't stop hunting for rage by calling everyone miner and disgusting.
      Have Mingelingdingdong banged you to hard this time?
      He just said it's OK to mock anyone including you.

    46. Poor Mingelingdingdong, are you really mad again?
      Don't you get laid?
      Poor Mingelingdingdong.

    47. Sigh. Yes, "hunting for rage" is the only reason anyone might criticize your speech or behavior, Anon@7:00. How silly of me to have thought that you might be capable of looking inward, and realizing that perhaps your behavior was unacceptable.

    48. Why should I be better than Mingelingdingdong?
      He might be feeling bad if I'm better than him.
      So why should I be better than Mingelingdingdong that say he's the best?

    49. You'll do whatever you find best suits your nature, Anon@7:09. If this sort of infantile name-calling and attempted baiting is what you feel suits you best, more power to you. Miners like you are the single greatest propaganda that minerbumping could have, anyway.

    50. Oh, you couldn't resist calling me a miner ;-)
      Please tell me how I play EVE on a Chromebook.
      Maybe Mingelingdingdong can but I can't.
      And please read what he said, it's OK to mock anyone at any time including you.

    51. wow this really escalated, anon and his obsession again fighting the good fight one comment at a time

    52. @Anon 7:16
      If you look at what I actually said, instead of what you think I said, it reads:

      "Those miners who do not follow the Code, such as yourself, are meant to be mocked, harrassed, bullied, and otherwise convinced that the Code is the One True Way for PvE in Highsec..."

      Maria follows the Code, as does Merrizon, as do I. That makes respect mandatory for miners such as yourself, as it also means that agents are fully free to disrespect you and those like you because you do not follow the Code.

      "Code-Compliance" is the key determining factor as to whether one is worthy of respect or ridicule.

    53. Oh, another to mock.
      This is nearly heaven today.
      Poor Mingelingdingdong and Maria Fooker and now someone that try to defend the poor Mingelingdingdong and Maria Malfucker.

    54. @Anon7:24
      Miner, Calm down!
      We are united in attacking your hurtful name-calling and vulgarity. In the name of the Code, we continue insist that you comply with the New Order's directives in a calm and respectful manner!

    55. Sorry Mingelingdingdong, you follow something that just exist in you malfunctioning brain so you need to be mocked poor Mingelingdingdong.
      Why so angry Mingelingdingdong, don't get your mom's attention between the men she served?

    56. They don't need my defense they have the code

    57. again your obsession with his underwear are you some kind of OCD sufferer or something?

    58. @ maria
      Please dont assume that someone that posted anon is me, i always sign my posts with -=M=-
      The only exceptions is when you (and posibly a few others) make posts and sign with my -=M=-
      I have been reading this thread most of the day, but untill this post i didnt actully make any posts, especialy not the one where the anon was hinting that your a dog.
      Be a bit more careful where you throw accusations maria.


      @ Ming, Calm down!! Sheesh, your raging is fueling all the hate threads against you. If you would just calm down and not rage on the forums, maybe they would leave you be for a while.

    59. @Anon 7:34
      Please spare us the drivel, Fake M. The M we know would never misspell words, nor would they reply "Calm Down" to another "Calm Down" post. The real M would be talking about their unrequited love for me, and how hurt they were that I wasn't giving it. Also, we know the real M by his unique use of the "Special Snowflake" comment, which isn't present in your post.

      So please, we're sharp enough to tell the original from the fake. Just go ahead and give up.

    60. Nothing is better than Mingelingdingdong's dirty underwear after he soiled them just because he's so angry.
      So yes it's good...

    61. "beautiful snowflake" is one of your taglines, M. Almost as distinctive as *touches Ming in some way*. It is reasonable to believe that that was you. And given how willing to lie you've proven yourself (that,, 40 billion isk you totally gave away), I still believe that was you. Though I can understand your wishing to distance yourself from PoopAnon now.

    62. Poor Mingelingdingdong, didn't your mom breastfeed you?
      Or she maybe still need to breastfeed you?
      Is that why you are so angry, you need to share her with strangers

    63. So you think you know normal?
      That's fun

    64. I'm just sitting back at this point with my sun-shades on trying to get a tan from all this hot rage that seems to be going on

    65. Mingelingdingdong, do you really mean you can't differ rage from laughter?
      Poor Mingelingdingdong, ask Maria Malfucker if she can breastfeed you so you stop whine.

    66. please ming, i have butter knifes that are sharper then you are.
      But if you must rage to feel more comfortable ming, then by all means please do.
      I do have a question thou ming, when the month ends and your no longer listed in the months top ten donators, will you be donating again? Seeing how your ego is so large you need to see your little picture on the top left corner i wager you will. If you have any isk left that is.

      *pats ming on the head*

    67. @Anon 7:59
      Why would I need to donate again?
      I've already achieved my rightful position as one of the top 10 New Order shareholders. I've had my month in the sun. When my months is over, it will be time for my reign to end and for another to begin. Will it be you, M? Will you take a turn at being one of the top donators to the New Order?

      (Probably not.)

    68. No, Mingelingdingdong you have not donated, it's just your sick brain that thinks that.
      In reality you just posted a fake tiny strip and you can't give any proof of you do called donation.
      Poor, poor Mingelingdingdong.

    69. Here is the proof of my donation again, for you, who have missed it.

      Look closely. You will find no evidence of photoshopping.

    70. Poor Mingelingdingdong belive a bad fake image is proof.
      My 4 year old daughter does a better fake image on her iPad ;-)
      Poor poor raging Mingelingdingdong.

    71. I touch kids


    72. wow, didnt realize that was a site that used api keys....oh wait they are not. Still waiting on the api verified proof ming.

  3. Hope CCP keep their promise, will be bad for the entire Code group.

    1. Because ganking just needs one more nerf

    2. As long as players play like Code the whole EVE needs a redo.
      CCP's bad developers need to learn coding soon.
      If they can't make the physics work with the game how should they be able to code a good game at all?

  4. OMG, people are having fun in an internet spaceship game! I must angry post about this!

  5. "I would encourage anyone with a baby on the way to push their partner toward naming the child James, in honour of myself. Especially if it's a boy."

    If it's a girl, they can name it Jamie!

  6. Matt Issier has earned the golden pod medal for killing a 1 Billion ISK+ Pod!

    1. started my 5th account and wanting it to be a decent pvp, toon. codes good place to start

    2. Are we transforming highsec, or merely griefing it?

      no your not .....and yes you most certainly are

  7. Anon11:51... So?

    Like really... obviously your never going to learn, so here's a tissue, and what's your point? Besides tears for the blog?

    "Whaaa whaaa! Your griefing! Whaaa!"

    Are you going to do something? Or just bitch about it?

    1. i don't have to do anything. i don't live in your teeny tiny area of griefing i live in the places you and your puny code fear.
      you don't go there, and if you do you never stay long because you can't.
      so bleat all you like little sheep it's amusing to hear.

  8. Wow that was a great article! It crystallizes exactly the purpose of the Code, and clearly explains a carebear who finally "gets the New Order." So inspirational. I hope other carebears see this and suddenly "figure it out" too!

  9. Some are known to cause happiness wherever they go. Code., they cause happiness when they go.

  10. I just want to point out that no one has mentioned the perfectly coiffed mustache.

    Truely magnificent

  11. Ming!, go get your pills!
    Stop raping Internet!

    1. Congratulations anon, you made me burst out laughing at work. That's one of the better carebear non sequiturs.

  12. Veers alts....blah...blah...blah...

    on a side note i think veers got tired of eve and has finally moved on

    1. lol, no...he just got busy at work, but I'm sure he will be back soon. He is just waiting for some real competition that doesn't make it so easy for him to keep on winning.

  13. meh seems made up


Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.