Iceman Alabel > if this was a real trial not i have no hope inIceman was skeptical of hiring HotShotX, who admitted to being an Agent of the New Order himself. But the miner didn't have much of a choice. Space lawyers weren't exactly lining up to take a gank victim's case pro bono.
Iceman Alabel > the code doing anything other than ganking rithg*
Gaylord Fappington > Sirs of the court, I am asking to be represented by my lawyerSeeing that Iceman was represented by the formidable public defender, Gaylord decided he had better get lawyered up, too. He brought in the patrician but well-regarded Fauntleroy Fappington, of the highsec Fappingtons. Who would prevail?
Gaylord Fappington > The honorable Fauntleroy Fappington esq
Fauntleroy Fappington > Hello your honor, hello court
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Iceman Alabel since you have not chosen a defender, HotShotX Warcastle will take the case.
Fauntleroy Fappington > Your honor I have been briefed on the deatils of this case
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Alright, let us please begin with opening arguments, gentlemen. If I could also have the baliff read the charges, please.There was no case HotShotX couldn't handle. He considered himself a dream team of one. But things got off to a rocky start when his client blurted out a confession--without even consulting his space lawyer first!
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > #Justice
Iceman Alabel > ill save you the trouble i was minnig with no permint cause fuck that
HotShotX Warcastle > The defense asserts that the My client, Iceman Alabel was..... admitting to the charges.
HotShotX Warcastle > Damnit.
Iceman Alabel > Gaylord Fappington came in and ganked me hThings got out of hand. Additional court personnel were called in. Before long, the trial convo was a packed house. TheInternet struggled to regain order.
Fauntleroy Fappington > OBJECTION!
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > SUSTAINED
Fauntleroy Fappington > He was also speaking ill of poor defenseless Goons
HotShotX Warcastle > Iceman Alabel stand down!
Kalorned > It says here in small print that he is also chard with discrimination against minorities as well as racismHotShotX took advantage of the chaos and confusion by requesting a recess. His client needed coaching, badly. TheInternet agreed to a short break so he could restore order. A few minutes later, Gaylord's attorney was ready to speak for the prosecution.
Iceman Alabel > ya but the goon have not relavince in this "court:"
Iceman Alabel > i have been at war with the goons i didnt reize that was raceism
HotShotX Warcastle > Iceman Alabel ssh, we've got to play this carefully. I know you don't trust me, but let me at least TRY.
Iceman Alabel > but they can change side they dont have to be goons and then id have no problems witrh em
HotShotX Warcastle > THE DEFENSE REQUESTS A 5 MINUTE RECESS TO DISCUSS THE TRIAL WITH MY CLIENT
Fauntleroy Fappington > We are ready at your request your honor, with my trademark brevityGaylord's attorney delivered a highly competent, if predictable, opening statement--exactly what you'd expect from a Fappington. HotShotX, on the other hand, didn't have the Fappington name or the isk that comes with it. All he had were his wits, the wits that had brought him out of lowsec as a newbie and elevated him to the rank of New Order Agent. The case wasn't an easy one. He knew his client was very probably guilty. But he had a duty. To win this case, he'd need to pull a rabbit out of his hat.
Fauntleroy Fappington > Your honor, My client was on a standard patrol in the Uotila system
Fauntleroy Fappington > While checking bios for mining permits he came across a bio reading simply 'I wanna be a minner when i grow up!!!'
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > /emote gasps
Fauntleroy Fappington > Acting quickly upon the discovery of a minor miner breaking the Code, Gaylord liquidated the miner's ship without warning and with extreme prejudice
Fauntleroy Fappington > We put forth that Gaylord's enforcement of the Code was thus both justified and timely
Fauntleroy Fappington > The prosecution rests
HotShotX Warcastle > My client, the humble Iceman Alabel was introduced today to the law of the New Order. The New Halaima Code of ConductFrankly, he struggled. He played for time, searching the recesses of his mind and memory to find something, anything, that would help his client.
HotShotX Warcastle > It has been in his ignorance and surprise to have been graced with such a, vibrant introduction.
HotShotX Warcastle > As such
HotShotX Warcastle > He initially lashed out
HotShotX Warcastle > In anger, frustration, and a curious awe.
HotShotX Warcastle > A curiosity, that has been piqued.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Is this going somewhere, Mr. Warcastle?At last, HotShotX found his answer--in the Code. Of course! His client's only hope of salvation was to begin following the Code from that very day.
HotShotX Warcastle > Yes sir.
HotShotX Warcastle > In the brief time I have had a chance to speak with him, he has expressed the interest of learning more. He wishes to make amends, admit his wrongdoing, and learn what following the Code has to offer.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Am I to take it then, that the defendent begs for James 315's mercy?Out of nowhere, a miracle! It was an eleventh-hour plea deal from the prosecution. HotShotX could scarcely believe his luck. All his client would need to do is buy a permit and apologize to the ganker.
Fauntleroy Fappington > I have spoken with my client, and he has told me that he is willing to drop all charges as a gesture of kindness if Iceman Alabel purchases a mining permit and apologizes.
Fauntleroy Fappington > If it pleases the court as well, we believe this to be a fair plea arrangement
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Has the defense consented to this arrangement?The only problem: HotShotX's client was AFK. Still, it seemed Iceman's chances of survival in highsec were much greater than they had been a few moments earlier. He simply needed to return to his keyboard and accept the deal. HotShotX breathed an enormous sigh of relief.
HotShotX Warcastle > The defense has no objections, assuming we can resuscitate the client.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I understand. AFKness is a very frequent problem for defendents in this court.
HotShotX Warcastle > Iceman Alabel are you there? It's going to be alright, mate.
HotShotX Warcastle > We got you.
Fauntleroy Fappington > Sir, my client confirms that Iceman Alabel , while afk, is docked in the same station as my client
Fauntleroy Fappington > And is not breaking the Code currently
Iceman Alabel > on anothe toonSome clients are easier to save than others. The same goes for highsec miners. HotShotX could only stand by and watch in horror as his client refused the deal. All his hard work was going right down the drain. Was this really happening?
Iceman Alabel > still readin
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Iceman Alabel do you consent to the plea arrangement that the legal teams have worked out?
Iceman Alabel > no
Kalorned > /emote gasps
HotShotX Warcastle > /emote facepalms
Fauntleroy Fappington > * gasps
HotShotX Warcastle > OBJECTION
Iceman Alabel > ill never follow the code of worship jamesTo be continued...
Kalorned > Oh come on
Gaylord Fappington > * coughs on water
Iceman Alabel > follow the code or worship*
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > GET THE DEFENDENT UNDER CONTROL,! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE
HotShotX Warcastle > Iceman Alabel You fool
Iceman Alabel > GOOD FUCK THE CODE
Iceman Alabel > and i spit in fappington face too
HotShotX Warcastle > /emote throws head into hands