Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Restoring Your Mining Permit

Rebel carebears often suggest that if the New Order continues to have its way, one day there won't be any miners left to gank. We'll address that issue when it occurs, but another question is raised: What will the New Order do when everyone owns permits? Obviously, our job will be to rule over them. As the permit-owning population continues to grow, proper enforcement and regulation of permit-owning PvE'ers will be a bigger issue for the New Order.


A new player named dura saunders was caught auto-piloting about two weeks after she began playing. She was prevailed upon to buy a permit. But then, a few weeks later, Agent Liek DarZ caught her in the act of mining AFK in a Venture. When Liek ganked her, she spoke disrespectfully to our Agent--dura's superior. Her mining permit was promptly revoked.


Suddenly, dura saunders was filled with deep regret for her behavior. She wrote an apology EVEmail to Agent Get Well Soon, who had been notified of the permit revocation. Get Well Soon's job was to determine whether dura saunders deserved to have her permit restored.


The miner was now displaying the humility and deference that a miner should always show toward the elite warriors and heroes of the New Order. However, the apology EVEmail had nevertheless contained excuses drawing upon events from dura's real-life job. The Code says, "Miners are required to put aside their prejudices and treat gankers with respect." The Code does not say "...unless you had a rough day at work."


In order to make his final decision, Get Well Soon required additional information. He wanted to take the measure of the miner.


Our Agent learned that dura saunders had once tried to shoot a fellow corp member. In the past, that wouldn't have resulted in CONCORD intervention, but because of the awox nerf, dura had been CONCORDed and lost security status. (So much for making game mechanics more intuitive!)


As Get Well Soon discovered more about dura's history, he became more hopeful.


Our friendly Agent taught dura how to locate her lossmails, so he could instruct her own how to properly fit a Catalyst. And she certainly needed the help. dura had recently lost one of the worst-fit Scorpions you could ever imagine.


Now the Agent had a plan for reforming the wayward permit owner.


"Are you going to make me kill someone?" It's a question we'd all like to hear more miners asking.


Get Well Soon sent the miner to Hek. Now dura would search for someone else mining in a Venture, just like she had been. The miner would be CONCORDed, just like she had been on the day when she'd tried to shoot a corp member. But this time, she would take the fires of CONCORD upon herself voluntarily. Purposefully.


The redemption of dura saunders was at hand.


dura saunders, the Venture pilot who had been suicide ganked, swapped into a Catalyst and suicide ganked a fellow Venture pilot. She even managed to get the pod before CONCORD arrived.


Get Well Soon was pleased. He restored dura saunders to permit-owning status. The repentant miner was once more a member of the New Order family in good standing. Having tasted victory for the first time, she no longer had an interest in mining. dura later found her way into wormholes for some fun.

...And that's how mining is done in modern highsec.

27 comments:

  1. What a heartwarming story :)

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  2. I haven't visited minerbumping.com for a few month, it was obviously a mistake
    thank you for this story of redemption
    Wun

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  3. the new order family, growing larger and larger every day.

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  4. That Butthurt child molester and his alt could take a lesson in humility from that miner.
    And maybe then BM could seek help for his sickness.
    Butthurt Pedophile, dont worry, help is close!

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    Replies
    1. Please... If you're trying to impersonate me, at least do it properly and put some efforts to make it look real :)

      Only idiots would be fooled by that pathetic attempt. I wonder who can be stupid enough to think that post above is from me ? :)

      Delete
    2. Registering an account or logging in with your google account is a great way to prove that you're "you."

      Protip: Register it before someone else registers your name for you and claims your identity. ;)

      Delete
    3. I thought about it for a second. Then i saw a fake Butthurt Miner registered with the very same name.

      If registering can't "lock" the name to prevent usurpation, then it's a bit useless :/

      Delete
  5. well i guess it is time i give up the small children, it was quite decadent of me to allow myself to shitpost, and i am sorry. i was having a bad year at work and my manager was breathing down my neckbeard (don't ask)
    i do hope i can find the counseling i need to rid myself of these impure thoughts.
    i have accused others of being cowards for posting as anons, when i do the same thing. this 'handle' is as anon as the anons. you still cannot find any proof that i do anyhting i have ever claimed to do.(even while posting as -=M=- )

    please James forgive me, for i have sinned, and i am not worthy.

    There will be those that claim to be me, and they will try to keep us apart, they are lying AG whiners. Dywisa being the biggest whiner in the Ag camp.

    please EvE citizens, i want to be redeemed!






    what did you not see this coming?

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    1. Well, now this is interesting. Looks like our anonymous coward has started to impersonate me. But I'm sure that given the average intelligence of the people here, they will see through your bullshit....then again, maybe not. So I changed my profile picture to clear up any confusion.

      There can be only ONE....Butthurt Miner

      Delete
    2. You could just as easily be a fake with a different profile picture to conceal the fact that you could not find BM's actual profile picture.

      Nice try, fake BM.

      Delete
    3. I think the one you call "fake BM" is the real one.

      The BM above is... well... his post feels nothing like the real one.
      Also, the fact he asks for Jamie's forgiveness should be enough as a proof : it's not the real BM.

      I'm sorry for you if you weren't smart enough to notice the difference :)

      Delete
    4. No real difference in character that I see! BM has always lusted after minors in an indecent fashion. I can only assume that years of this has led him to have a change of heart!

      Delete
    5. I only trust the BM with the signature profile pic.

      Delete
    6. If you go back and look at all my previous posts, you will see that the picture has changed on those as well. So it's up to you if you choose to believe me or not.

      There can be only ONE Butthurt Miner

      Delete
    7. "There can be only ONE Butthurt Miner"

      The content of this glorious blog suggests otherwise.

      Delete
    8. Indeed. Apparently, there are many, many butthurt miners.
      Dywisa is a prime example of such a specimen.

      Delete
    9. yeah I always thought of the butthurt miners as a collective, I'm fine with more than one person posting under that tag.

      Delete
    10. There may be plenty of butthurt miners out there, this is true, however even the miners are each unique. I personally have descovered this in my journeys when I travel from one system to another. ( Ming should try this one day ) You could however loosely categorize all players into 3 groups. There are the supporters of code, the opponents of code, and then players like ming who simply do nothing at all. I'm happy to be opposed to code.

      -=M=-

      Delete
  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    Replies
    1. what, no more crying about how gankers should help miners instead of just making them quit the game, or is this not the story to post your usual complaint? or are we just going to totally overlook that this time, BM?

      Delete
    2. "This comment has been removed by the author."

      Best BM comment ever.

      Delete
  7. That is one of the most inspiring stories this blog has ever posted. Talk about redemption! Reborn through the fiery cataclysm of CONCORD! You have taken a big step today, friend.

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  8. Looks like antiganking was inefficient once again XD XD

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  9. We do need a follow up - Did the miner contact the now part time miner? Was a good fight given in Local? Did Dura Sanders obtain or instruct the miner to obtain a permit?

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  10. Great job, Dura! Keep it up!

    [MEANWHILE] In Anti-Ganking... Some ignorant stuff was said and not much was done.


    -Galaxy Pig

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  11. This miner's dedication has been noted. The Imperium wants him.

    ReplyDelete

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