Over Three Hundred Sixty-Three Billion in Shares Sold

Here's your daily injection of common sense, courtesy of Agent Carlvagio:

It's hard to argue with any of that. Carlvagio's purchase of an additional 5,000 shares sent us over the 357, 358, 359, 360, and 361 billion isk marks and earned him a Quintuple Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™. Carlvagio is now the New Order's sixth-largest shareholder!

Icing on the cake time: Ezekial 2517's purchase of 200 shares sent us past the 362 billion isk mark and earned him a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™. Ready for one more? Matrea D's purchase of an additional 1,000 shares sent us past the 363 billion isk mark and earned her a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™, too.

It all adds up to more fun to be had in highsec! It's wonderful to see people adding content to the game.

No Solitude in an MMO, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... A group of Agents sallied forth into a "highsec island" in the Solitude region to enforce the Code. Many bot-aspirants were destroyed. Among them was illegal miner 3xpl01d Stash, who went ballistic when he lost his Retriever.

3xpl01d Stash > what you want
Pestario Vargas > Hello sir.
3xpl01d Stash > you already took all i have
3xpl01d Stash > you want to laugh harder?
Pestario Vargas > No sir.
3xpl01d Stash > well laugh as hard as you can right now
3xpl01d Stash > cuz im about to uninstall eve online

Upon hearing of the Stash incident, Agent Pestario Vargas took it upon himself to convo the miner personally and see what he could do. The convo was initiated not a moment too soon. Stash was just seconds away from quitting EVE forever.

Pestario Vargas > I am not laughing. I am here to calm you down and help you out, if I can
3xpl01d Stash > sure calming down
3xpl01d Stash > you guys are trolls
3xpl01d Stash > i dont believe you
Pestario Vargas > I am not here to be a troll.
3xpl01d Stash > are you giving me money then?

Stash had no faith in the New Order or its Agents. He couldn't believe Pestario was there to help. And to a bot-aspirant, "help" means "give me free money".

Pestario Vargas > What happened exactly? were you ganked?
3xpl01d Stash > Kill: 3xpl01d Stash (Retriever) Kill: 3xpl01d Stash (Capsule) Kill: 3xpl01d Stash (Gallente Shuttle) Kill: 3xpl01d Stash (Capsule)
3xpl01d Stash > count that
3xpl01d Stash > thats my loss.
3xpl01d Stash > its everything i had
3xpl01d Stash > now if your done making fun of me
3xpl01d Stash > im going to have a real life

Upon request, the carebear produced his lossmails as evidence of the ganks. Stash readied himself for the uninstallation process. If Pestario couldn't think of something to say right then and there, he would lose his chance to save the miner.

Pestario Vargas > Please don't get mad, but were you afk?
3xpl01d Stash > no
3xpl01d Stash > i got minimized
3xpl01d Stash > because of a poke
3xpl01d Stash > and ofcourse thats when they kill you

The answer, of course, was in the Code. Pestario asked Stash if he had been in violation. Without realizing it, Stash admitted he was; miners are required to keep an eye on local at all times, regardless of Facebook pokes. If you shift your attention to a Facebook poke, you run the risk of getting a Catalyst poke.

Pestario Vargas > we have to refund if you wrent in violation of the code
3xpl01d Stash > i don't give a shit about the code. the code you follow made sure newcomers to eve online quit the game
Pestario Vargas > I am trying to help you. If you follow the Code, and you were ganked, you get a refund and a sorry
3xpl01d Stash > if i can have all my stuff back
3xpl01d Stash > ill follow the code
3xpl01d Stash > if not.. then byebye
3xpl01d Stash > im frustrated
3xpl01d Stash > and very mad with your corporation

Despite being a self-described "newcomer" to EVE, Stash had already been thoroughly infected by rebel propaganda. He believed the lie that the Code exists to drive away new players. The carebear apologists had gotten to him.

Pestario Vargas > So you were mining in Solitude. ok that is fair enough.
3xpl01d Stash > in high sec
Pestario Vargas > Is it a highsec island?
3xpl01d Stash > yes
3xpl01d Stash > i got taken here by another player
3xpl01d Stash > i have not much experience and im losing everything here
3xpl01d Stash > i want to leave, but i just got killed i can't get out
Pestario Vargas > It says you are from 2013? is this true?

Pestario continued to investigate. Stash claimed he had become trapped in the highsec island of Solitude. Apparently he thought he needed a shuttle or Retriever to get out.

3xpl01d Stash > i made my account then, i only play for 2 weeks
Pestario Vargas > aww ok. so your SP will be less then 3 million?
3xpl01d Stash > 5 million
3xpl01d Stash > maybe 3 weeks
Pestario Vargas > hmm ok well send a evemail of what happend to Babatunde B Babatunde, he deals with reimbursments and refunds
Pestario Vargas > if you did nothing wrong we will 100% refund your loss

Naturally, Stash played up his "newbie" status, though he couldn't keep his story straight.

3xpl01d Stash > you will not refund anything
3xpl01d Stash > because your a troll
Pestario Vargas > I dont like to see new eve players get ganked
3xpl01d Stash > yes you do
3xpl01d Stash > and i didn't get a refund
Pestario Vargas > We have to take time to investigate it
3xpl01d Stash > Go ahead investigate, ill be online for 1 more hour.
3xpl01d Stash > if i don't have enough cash to buy my implants and retreiver then i quit eve online

Stash delivered an ultimatum: In one hour, he'd leave EVE forever. Pestario would be tested like never before. It was one of the harshest deadlines set by a carebear.

Pestario Vargas > It may take up to 48 hours. sorry
3xpl01d Stash > also i would like an escort to high sec
3xpl01d Stash > you guys owe me that
3xpl01d Stash > if not for the kills then for the offensive language in chat
3xpl01d Stash > because your members are doing their utmost work either trying to get people to suicide in real life or to make sure eve online loses all of their players.

Stash continued to make more demands. Now he wanted a New Order escort back to the highsec mainland. He also claimed our Agents had used "offensive language in chat". In light of yesterday's post, this claim is quite bizarre. Nevertheless, Stash had entirely swallowed the carebear apologists' argument that ganking is bullying and that if CCP doesn't end PvP in highsec, they'll lose all their subscribers and go out of business.

3xpl01d Stash > and what if eve is full of players like you huh,
3xpl01d Stash > who then will you kill and try to piss off so hard that he suicides in real life?
Pestario Vargas > Who has done this? Suicdies in real life? this is terrible news.
Pestario Vargas > I am trying to help you..
3xpl01d Stash > oh i feel so helped.
3xpl01d Stash > you guys helped me get rid of my isks thats for sure.
Pestario Vargas > .. would you like to talk on teamspeak?

Stash surrendered to the madness of the bot-aspirant. With time running out and no other ideas, Pestario threw a Hail Mary pass. He invited Stash to TeamSpeak.

Pestario Vargas > I can talk to you.
3xpl01d Stash > sure lets talk
Pestario Vargas > man to man
Pestario Vargas > ok just a second
Pestario Vargas > one second, jsut getting the server details
Pestario Vargas > Please join and talk with me.

Stash agreed to join Pestario and other Agents to chat on TeamSpeak. As of this writing, a recording of the conversation is not available. I am informed that our Agents went to great lengths to re-educate the troubled miner. However, I also have it on good authority that no torture was used.

Less than an hour later, a 700 million isk Mackinaw was ganked in Solitude. Among the gankers...

...was 3xpl01d Stash himself. Most people would've written off Stash in five seconds of meeting him. But nothing is too difficult for the New Order. And we have a saying: No miner left behind.

No Solitude in an MMO, Part 1

I still remember when I first went to Kamio, a highsec ice mining system next door to Halaima. The Kamio miners claimed that they would not submit, because they were different: "This isn't Halaima, this is Kamio!" They didn't believe me when I told them that all highsec miners were the same everywhere. But it was true.

The Solitude region contains what are known as "highsec islands", systems with 0.5+ security cut off from the rest of highsec by low/null systems. Miners there think of themselves as a superior breed. Incredibly, there are players who think mining in highsec is EVE's "endgame".

Island or not, every system with 0.5 and above security is a highsec system. Which makes them a part of New Order territory. They are all subject to the Code.

A New Order patrol entered this "endgame" area and quickly dispatched the bot-aspirants. The complacent miners were completely taken by surprise.

ZzyyzzxX > CODE in Soli?
ZzyyzzxX > loyalanon & Wolf Soprano in soli...DaFuq?
EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Maire
3xpl01d Stash > wtf
3xpl01d Stash > loyalanon Sophia Soprano Wolf Soprano just killed me in here

The miners of the Solitude region couldn't believe that they weren't 100% safe. They thought they had earned immunity from the Code just by jumping through a few non-highsec systems.

Among those whose endgame came crashing to a halt was 3xpl01d Stash. As his untanked Retriever proved, miners are the same everywhere in highsec.

loyalanon > please remember a permit before operating in James 315 territory
3xpl01d Stash > fuck you
loyalanon > Miner
loyalanon > please keep local clean from profanity
3xpl01d Stash > picking on newcomers
loyalanon > as outlined in the code given to us by our saviour James 315
3xpl01d Stash > go to nullsec you little kids
loyalanon > Please keep local clean
3xpl01d Stash > fuck you

Stash was furious. He declared himself a "newcomer" to EVE. If you've read MinerBumping before, you should know the drill; we always investigate claims of newbie status. Stash was, in fact, a 10 month-old character. To his credit, Stash's presence in the highsec island proved he'd at least jumped out of highsec in his 10-month career. That's more than many miners twice his age can say.

Chattox Vyvorant > theyre a suicide ganking alliance
Chattox Vyvorant > leave them to their games they'll get bored eventually and leave
3xpl01d Stash > that doesn't bring me my ship back
3xpl01d Stash > was the last thing i had
3xpl01d Stash > ima quit the game now

Despite his 10 months, Stash was strapped for cash. With his Retriever gone, he was at the end of his rope. Our Agents immediately made good the loss by giving him something even more valuable:

loyalanon > Please remember a permit before continuing operations in James 315 territory
3xpl01d Stash > fuck you
3xpl01d Stash > James can suck my fucking dick
3xpl01d Stash > fuck you
loyalanon > http://www.minerbumping.com/p/the-code.html
3xpl01d Stash > fuck you
412nv Yaken > please keep local clean
3xpl01d Stash > fuck you\
412nv Yaken > sir
3xpl01d Stash > fuck you

...they introduced Stash to the Code. Now he had the means to acquire riches beyond his wildest dreams.

loyalanon > a gf is in order
loyalanon > good fight mate
3xpl01d Stash > suck me
412nv Yaken > do you have a permit?
3xpl01d Stash > lick my nipples
3xpl01d Stash > put a fork in your eye and twist it

However, even the Code is of no use to someone who's unwilling to read it. Stash continued to compound his violations of the Code. He was dangerously close to earning a spot on the Red Pen list.

3xpl01d Stash > fuck you, because of you guys i lost everything i worked for
3xpl01d Stash > fuck you and your permit, killing people who don't know first and saying that shit later
412nv Yaken > as you realise you must submit
412nv Yaken > to the great james 315
412nv Yaken > our father and saviour
412nv Yaken > would you like a permit
412nv Yaken > they are only 10 million isk, they are vaild for 1 year
3xpl01d Stash > Hah asking for 10 mil, after you take all my cash

Though Solitude hadn't felt the pleasure of Code enforcement as frequently as other highsec areas, the miners there seemed to be very familiar with the New Order. Stash was the exception. Paradoxically, it is the ignorant miners--the ones with the greatest need to listen--who speak the most.

3xpl01d Stash > you want to see how pro you are?
3xpl01d Stash > shall i show you?
412nv Yaken > yes
3xpl01d Stash > 3364102
3xpl01d Stash > 0AgdBfk0lASmEJRZx6fuqc8vyZIB1c5kRRz6nkgLPipyVg1lDQnR32ZGwUbMyDav
3xpl01d Stash > 262139903
3xpl01d Stash > thats how pro you are
3xpl01d Stash > oh goodluck feeling so good about yourself
Dillon Hawk > that rage
3xpl01d Stash > no rage
3xpl01d Stash > just pointing out how sad you people are
Dillon Hawk > lol slamming ur keyboard seems like rage
3xpl01d Stash > you guys really need to get some positive energy in your real life. Killing newcomers in eve as a frustration release from your drunk daddy hitting you

Stash wouldn't stop raging in local. He threatened to quit. This was Stash's first real encounter with other players in EVE, so it wasn't a great sign. But the New Order isn't accustomed to giving up. Our Agents love to take risks. They're always prepared to gamble on a long-shot. They believed they could save this miner.

To be continued...

Too Late to Negotiate

Bot-aspirancy comes in many forms. Even a carebear who fancies himself a respectable highsec industrialist may, in fact, unconsciously promote "bot culture". The New Order isn't afraid to take a stand against bot-aspirancy and bot culture. Our Agents are fearless.

Agent Alyth Nerun discovered a miner using a pilot-less Orca "as a 600mil ISK jetcan". It's shocking to think this practice still exists in modern highsec. Just a few weeks earlier, our Agents had to deal with a similar case.

Agent Karak Terrel was called in to help Alyth set things right. Karak warped to the Orca in a pod. He had the skills to fly an Orca, so he was able to quickly board it. When the miner realized his Orca was now occupied, he gave it the carebear stare with his Mackinaw ORE Development Edition.

For his crimes, the carebear's special Mackinaw was sentenced to death.

The carebear in question, one Shikari Auduin, was furious. Like a lot of miners who get popped in our territory, he claimed he would've paid if asked. But this was a bit of an unusual situation: The Orca hadn't been destroyed; only the special Mackinaw was. The Orca remained intact, so Shikari could still pay.

Karak took pity on the miner and offered to let him pay 550 million isk for the Orca. Shikari tried to haggle for a moment, but was reminded that Jita doesn't lack for buyers. The carebear had no choice but to agree to Karak's terms. If this were a ransom with a warp-disrupted Orca, the carebear would have pretended he didn't have the money. Since Karak already had possession of the Orca, there was no opportunity for the typical lies and excuses.

Shikari, following carebear tradition, delayed transfer of the money. Again, since Karak already had the Orca, it didn't matter. He waited patiently.

In the meantime, Shikari fumed that he had no idea about the New Order or mining permits. In days past, most miners really didn't know about us. Today, this is just something carebears say right before accidentally revealing that they knew all along.

The local miners dropped some clichés about how gankers "can't survive in nullsec". (Unlike highsec miners, who are brave warriors.) The local miners didn't bother trying to help Shikari in any way, though. Ever wondered why the carebears don't unite against us? It's because they only care about themselves. They're so greedy that they would never consider sacrificing an isk to help another miner.

Shikari assumed he would get all of the Orca's modules and cargo back for free, despite it being contrary to the terms both parties had agreed upon. The carebear was still in haggle mode, trying to grasp for every little isk he could get his paws on. Once more, his attempts to negotiate were met with failure. Karak could sell everything in Jita if he wanted.

Every fruit of an illegal mining operation is considered contraband. As Karak emptied the Orca, he checked its fittings. What he saw made him sick to his stomach: The Orca was not only left pilot-less; it was anti-tanked.

Before creating the contract, Karak repaired the Orca.

The Orca was contracted for the low price of 550 million isk. The transaction complete, both parties walked away happy, except for Shikari.

Shikari's ingratitude intensified when he discovered that his Republic Fleet Firetail was removed from the Orca's ship bay. If he cared about the Firetail so much, why hadn't he mentioned it earlier?

Even though Karak kept his word of honour by allowing Shikari to repurchase the Orca, Shikari ranted and raved in local. He even threatened to quit EVE, claiming that he had "better things to do". I always advise my Agents to pay close attention to these rants. A carebear's angriest moments are also his most unguarded ones--as was the case with Shikari. Note his comment, "you did this out of pure lust for profit, not for the sake of holding to the code you are supposedly here to enforce".

I thought Shikari didn't know about the New Order or mining permits or any of that stuff? So how did he know about the Code? Because they all know. And if they all know, they all must comply.

Kills of the Week

Whatever it takes, our Agents will get their kills. Let's review some of the highlights from the week of May 25th @ 00:00 EVEtime through May 31st @ 23:59 EVEtime.

KILLMAIL

Ore Cop ran into the real police of highsec when Agents Brutal Anna and Rick Therapist came calling. The devastating killmail shown here doesn't even factor in the extra value of the "Mackinaw ORE Development Edition", but the ORE Strip Miners were expensive enough. But wait--what are those rigs? Two tech I "Medium Gravity Capacitor Upgrades"?

Yes, a rig to ehance your probing skills, fitted to a ship with no probe launcher. If Ore Cop thought she was equipping some kind of anti-bump module, she was sorely mistaken. At the same time Ore Cop was ganked, her alt, TarK Padecain, also lost a dual-ORE Strip Miner Mackinaw ORE Development Edition. Suffering such grievous losses, she knew she had to re-think her strategy. So she re-shipped to a Retriever...

KILLMAIL

...Which unfortunately cost more than 600 million isk. It, too, had two ORE Strip Miners. She took extra precautions when fitting it, because it was equipped with a tech II Medium Gravity Capacitor Upgrade. Despite the Retriever's superior probing abilities, our Agents caught it by surprise.

KILLMAIL

Amp Andedare lost a 1.5 billion isk pod to Agents Skipper Huitzilopoch and Jennifer Zanjoahir. This podkill is noteworthy because it was 100% karmic retribution:

MinerBumping upholds the highest standards of journalism in EVE, so let's hear the other side of the story:

As you can see, white knights have no honour. Only Knights of the Order do.

KILLMAIL

smirra made history by becoming the fourth jump freighter destroyed by New Order forces. Congratulations to Agents 412nv Yaken, D400, Sophia Soprano, Capt Starfox, unknown boat, loyalanon, Shin Dragoran, Cilarien, James Haythem, DJentropy Ovaert, Dillon Hawk, Angel Pirate, Agent 70, Hottentott, Princess Suicide, and Xeihun Khamez. A ship like that, without a New Order permit, may as well be an expensive paperweight.

KILLMAIL

Many, many freighters were ganked this week. vilandar blue's 6.5 billion isk freighter was destroyed by a combined fleet with members of CODE., CFC alliances, and even Nulli Secunda: Beanz, Kaotic, loyalanon, Dillon Hawk, ELicken, 412nv Yaken, grebnedlog kram, Rabe Raptor, Xeihun Khamez, Angel Pirate, Amyclas Amatin, and Princess Suicide. It's amazing what we can accomplish when humanity unites as one.

Among the dead freighters were some tear-producing pilots. Take Detomir, for example. After losing a freighter, he woke up local with his shouting:

Detomir > fuck you son of a bitch
Detomir > you all son of a bitch
Rabe Raptor > Why are you so mad? We saved you
Detomir > if i would see you in real life you dont stand any more
412nv Yaken > would you like to discuss this on teamspeak
Detomir > you guys are a big peace of shit
Detomir > i shit on your heads guys

Ganking bot-aspirants and instructing them in the Code is necessary, as you can see. If anyone knows a better way to teach freighter pilots some manners, I'm all ears. Next, a public service announcement from... Wait, hold on...

Detomir > i fuck your mothers
Detomir > and sell your deads
Detomir > and kill all your familly
412nv Yaken > wow
Detomir > in real life for sure
412nv Yaken > over a spaceship
Detomir > but you guys are so great pussys
Detomir > that even if i get you in real life you will cry
Detomir > your mother is so ugly
Detomir > look at her
James Haythem > Sir, please calm down, it was a good fight, gg, maybe next time you mite win
Detomir > thats why your dad leave her
Detomir > and you are ugly too
Detomir > i fuck your mother

Apparently Detomir had more to share with the Aufay system than I realized. Now that he's done pouring out his feelings, I'd like to...

Detomir > i think your mother fucked you if your young years
James Haythem > Shame on you, we ganked you with all our heart
Detomir > i had talk to your father
Detomir > he wants my dick in his asss
Detomir > but i telled him that your are better for this work
Detomir > soo go mess up ur asshole
Detomir > oh your mothers asshole is so often rammed bu some niggers that he even cant fart
Detomir > i like an warm air flow
Detomir > you can fell like a normal boy, for sure
Detomir > you guys such a peace of shit
Detomir > you fuckers are so lame. you guys havent any money and do some stupid fucking things
Pestario Vargas > gf
Detomir > hey guys
Detomir > your mother a worthless whore

You get the idea. With that out of the way, I'd like to pass along a public service announcement from Agent Galaxy Pig. He would like to remind freighter pilots to invest in implants, so those who are assigned to kill pods get some nice killmails, too:

Should we consider it bullying when a freighter pilot has an inexpensive pod? I don't know. But I'd hate for CCP to lose subscribers because some freighter pilot didn't produce a shiny podmail.

KILLMAIL

Speaking of pods, normally this would be the spot for the Pod of the Week, but this time we've got something special. MisteroMikey lost a 4 billion isk Ares. Naturally, the Ares was anti-tanked and AFK. Even more naturally, it was killed by Agent D400. Why is this Ares worth over 4 billion isk?

People of highsec, if you really care about your cargo, you won't go AFK in an anti-tanked ship. And you certainly won't enter New Order territory without a permit.

Top Supporters for May 2014

Each month, MinerBumping immortalizes its top isk contributors in a hall of fame post. The "Month's Top Supporters" sidebar will begin showing the current month's supporters in a few days. You can view the August 2012, September, October, November, December, January 2013, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2014, February, March, and April top 10 lists at the appropriate links.

Here are our top isk contributors for May 2014:

TOP SUPPORTERS
May 2014


#1. Amyclas Amatin
2,001,000,000 isk


#2. BLOB-A-THON
2,000,000,000 isk


#3. Etienne Achasse
1,356,000,000 isk


#4. Kaarous Aldurald
1,000,000,000 isk


#5. Agent 70
500,000,000 isk


#6. Kaely Tanniss
300,000,000 isk


#7. Bleydh Bheskagor
250,000,000 isk


#7. Delta Iota Epsilon
250,000,000 isk


#7. virm pasuul
250,000,000 isk


#10. Erotica 1
200,000,000 isk
What a great group of people. EVE has one of the nicest communities of any video game out there. There are a few bad apples, sure, but we gank those people. Want to get your own picture up on a list like this? Buy some New Order shares and then buy some more.

Over Three Hundred Fifty-Six Billion in Shares Sold

Do you have a birthday coming up--or a loved one whose birthday is coming up? Want to know what to get? Let Agent Amyclas Amatin be your guide:

Amyclas Amatin's purchase of an additional 2,001 shares put us over the 355 and 356 billion isk marks and earns him a Double Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

Now that's how you celebrate a birthday.