The civilized highsec community was aghast to learn about Krimletch, one of the most unruly miners we've seen in recent weeks. He was discovered mining illegally in an asteroid belt and was promptly terminated by Lord Mandelor, one of our Agents. Despite being given the opportunity to buy a permit, Krimletch vowed revenge against the New Order instead.
The New Order isn't known for giving up on people. Krimletch was invited to an informal chat with some of our Agents. However, the chat became a full-blown trial. During the course of that trial, Krimletch made a full confession of his guilt.
In a rare moment of lucidity, Krimletch paid 10 million isk for a permit. However, his misconduct during the trial resulted in the fee being increased, as per the Code's Red Pen provisions. In response, Krimletch filed an appeal, which turned out to be the longest tearmail ever written.
A few days later, while the appeal was still under review, Krimletch was ganked. In his anger, he made the mistake of fraudulently claiming that his appeal had been granted. When the appeal finally reached my desk, I had no choice but to deny it. That's where the matter would have stood. Except...
The man who ganked Krimletch before I ruled on the appeal was Agent Guybertini. As should be immediately apparent from his character portrait, Guybertini is a noble warrior who believes in a better future for highsec. After I denied Krimletch's appeal, Guybertini contacted me with new information about the Krimletch case--information I did not have the benefit of reviewing prior to my ruling.
The New Order is not about tyranny, extortion, griefing, bullying, torture, or driving new players away from the game. It is about fairness, justice, and reason. This means that when new evidence comes to light, it must be taken into consideration with an open mind.
Guybertini told Krimletch that he needed a permit to mine. Krimletch claimed he already had one. He also made a bigoted remark about gankers.
Our hero cautioned the miner that he stood to lose his permit if he wasn't willing to respect highsec's authorities. Always happy to reimburse a miner in the event of a wrongful gank, Guybertini requested additional information.
In reply, Krimletch called him a peasant and denied ever having bought a mining permit. Guybertini was stunned by the miner's 180ยบ turn--from a permit-carrying Goofus to a permit-denying Goofus!
The miner vowed revenge. Guybertini admitted that he was skeptical of the threat, since Krimletch was just a miner.
Once again, Krimletch uttered slurs against the ganking community that have no place in modern highsec. So Guybertini reminded the miner of why gankers are so important to the risk/reward balance. Would this convince Krimletch?
Unfortunately not. Krimletch rejected the Code. He even called me a "shitbox", which is a total mischaracterization of me and what I do.
Guybertini saw that he wasn't getting through to the miner. The baton would need to be handed to the next Agent to gank Krimletch.
I considered this new evidence very carefully. Now, I'm the first to admit when I've made a mistake. You'll see this is true, if and when I make a mistake. In this case, the additional evidence provided by Guybertini proved that the system works.
When EVE players enter highsec, they rely on the New Order to treat everyone fairly. They expect justice to be done. Their faith is not misplaced--thank goodness!
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Cassidy's Final Ships
After all this time, carebears are still blowing billions of isk on bounties. I warned them against such waste even before the current bounty system was put into place. Still they throw away their money. The good news is that our Agents can collect these bounties by firing on each other at the conclusion of a gank. The bad news is that lazy carebears' disinterest in game mechanics is another sign of rampant bot-aspirancy.
Cassidy Langley had a grudge against Agent Tisiphone Dira. Our heroine did what the New Order does best: She taught the carebear how EVE works. Cassidy didn't care. Why would a carebear want to know the rules of the game they're playing, right?
Once again, the highly trained Agent was able to elicit a full confession from the carebear--without resorting to the use of torture.
Cassidy spilled the beans: She wasn't a dangerous bounty hunter; she was down to only three ships. She'd lost almost all her isk on "gambling".
The carebear was destitute. Agent Tisiphone took pity on her, and discouraged her from wasting time on PI. The New Order to the rescue, as usual.
Now Cassidy was down to two ships. She should've spent her isk on a mining permit, rather than gambling. Indeed, flying around highsec without a permit is the most deadly gamble of all.
Little miss motor-mouth admitted to another crime: Fail-fitting her ship.
Cassidy vowed revenge on the New Order. She would find some way to defeat us, using either her Venture or her Catalyst. Or maybe her Venture would get ganked, and she would join us to gank miners with her Catalyst.
There are some misguided people out there who read MinerBumping and find themselves identifying with the criminal miners. If you see Cassidy as a poor, defenseless newbie, maybe you think she was wronged by Tisiphone. Think again. Tisiphone remained in local and observed the following interaction:
So much for protecting the new players, eh? Seems that's our job.
Cassidy Langley had a grudge against Agent Tisiphone Dira. Our heroine did what the New Order does best: She taught the carebear how EVE works. Cassidy didn't care. Why would a carebear want to know the rules of the game they're playing, right?
Once again, the highly trained Agent was able to elicit a full confession from the carebear--without resorting to the use of torture.
Cassidy spilled the beans: She wasn't a dangerous bounty hunter; she was down to only three ships. She'd lost almost all her isk on "gambling".
The carebear was destitute. Agent Tisiphone took pity on her, and discouraged her from wasting time on PI. The New Order to the rescue, as usual.
Now Cassidy was down to two ships. She should've spent her isk on a mining permit, rather than gambling. Indeed, flying around highsec without a permit is the most deadly gamble of all.
Little miss motor-mouth admitted to another crime: Fail-fitting her ship.
Cassidy vowed revenge on the New Order. She would find some way to defeat us, using either her Venture or her Catalyst. Or maybe her Venture would get ganked, and she would join us to gank miners with her Catalyst.
There are some misguided people out there who read MinerBumping and find themselves identifying with the criminal miners. If you see Cassidy as a poor, defenseless newbie, maybe you think she was wronged by Tisiphone. Think again. Tisiphone remained in local and observed the following interaction:
So much for protecting the new players, eh? Seems that's our job.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Over Five Hundred Seventy-Six Billion in Shares Sold
We're living through a unique moment in EVE's history. After the New Order achieves Final Victory in highsec, there will be no more bot-aspirancy ever again. Everyone's gonna have a great time. Until then, we soldier on.
To help see us through to the end of our mission, Agent PV Rock purchased an additional 5,000 shares, sending us over the 572, 573, 574, 575, and 576 billion isk marks. PV earned a Quintuple Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ and the appreciation of all the gankers we fund through the New Order Treasury.
Meanwhile, the generosity of the Order continues to impress.
BONUS!
Jahyson Malone is building an incredible portfolio. With the end of the Venture-killing contest, this piece is particularly appropriate:
Jahyson is looking for more ideas for New Order posters. Do you have one? Send him a suggestion via EVEmail or the comments section.
Speaking of ideas for new artwork...
BONUS BONUS!
McEnergyDrinks vonLambo Ribwicherson informed me of CCP's new EVE artwork contest!
As always, our Agents were buzzing with great ideas. Specifically, one idea: Lots of portraits of me. Here's what McEnergyDrinks vonLambo Ribwicherson told me he is submitting to the contest:
Giving Picasso a run for his money! With any luck, this image and many others like it will soon be adorning the walls of CCP HQ. Each time a CCP employee sees the face of highsec's Saviour, they will be reminded of what EVE is all about.
Permanent links to all New Order artwork may be found on the Links page.
To help see us through to the end of our mission, Agent PV Rock purchased an additional 5,000 shares, sending us over the 572, 573, 574, 575, and 576 billion isk marks. PV earned a Quintuple Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ and the appreciation of all the gankers we fund through the New Order Treasury.
Meanwhile, the generosity of the Order continues to impress.
BONUS!
Jahyson Malone is building an incredible portfolio. With the end of the Venture-killing contest, this piece is particularly appropriate:
Jahyson is looking for more ideas for New Order posters. Do you have one? Send him a suggestion via EVEmail or the comments section.
Speaking of ideas for new artwork...
BONUS BONUS!
McEnergyDrinks vonLambo Ribwicherson informed me of CCP's new EVE artwork contest!
As always, our Agents were buzzing with great ideas. Specifically, one idea: Lots of portraits of me. Here's what McEnergyDrinks vonLambo Ribwicherson told me he is submitting to the contest:
Giving Picasso a run for his money! With any luck, this image and many others like it will soon be adorning the walls of CCP HQ. Each time a CCP employee sees the face of highsec's Saviour, they will be reminded of what EVE is all about.
Permanent links to all New Order artwork may be found on the Links page.
Another Successful AdVenture
I am pleased to report the conclusion of another successful Venture-killing contest! The host of the contest, Agent CODE Agent AC, has tallied up the results from the exciting event this February. As you'll recall, the objective for each contestant was to kill as many unique highsec Venture pilots as possible. Although Ventures have few hitpoints, this contest is actually quite a challenge: A committed Venture-ganker will often run into the same Venture pilot repeatedly. Hunting down unique pilots takes skill, creativity, luck, and persistence.
Lots of gankers and aspiring gankers got in on the action. There were, of course, the usual moans and complaints from the carebear crowd, who believe the contest is about ganking newbies and driving them away from the game. This is nonsense, as CCP Rise has conclusively proven.
But enough background info. You want to hear who won, don't you?
The winner has been announced by CODE Agent AC on the official EVE-O forum thread for the contest. And the winner, with over 175 unique Venture pilots destroyed is...
EveIs ABadGame PleaseQuit
(Formerly known as GALLENTE CITIZEN 17090130)
A heartfelt congratulations to EveIs ABadGame PleaseQuit. What an effort! A special thanks also goes out to the rest of the contestants, and CODE Agent AC, for showing everyone how much fun highsec can be--when we all work together in accordance with the Code.
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Kills of the Week
Today's Kills of the Week post is dedicated to the Code. Whether you're studying it, following it, enforcing it, spamming links to it in local, or reading it for the first time, the Code is at the heart of life in modern highsec. Violating the Code, on the other hand, spells certain doom. Let's take a look at some doom that got spelled during the week of March 1st @ 00:00 EVEtime through March 7th @ 23:59 EVEtime.
Appealing Death had a particularly inauspicious name. His chosen profession--AFK hauling--was equally dubious. He lacked a 10 million isk permit and scorned the Code, so he lost nearly 20 billion isk in one battle. The Suroken system bled that day. Agents PJ Abrams, Kusotarre, leevi Serafin, AJ Abrams, Morrak Awit, SoullessAvenger, Himari Nakano, Twizzlespark Celes, Dios Rajash, Emotion Sasen, Diasho Shorin, Dios Rojosh, Daishi Saria, Dashio Sariana, Diaz Serine, dude there's my-pod, Dias Rajashi, Sasha Cohenberg, PI Slave 004, Anderton Faln, Yojiro, Krisi Kristo, and Ivan Von Jagermeister were victorious and brought honour to Suroken.
Looks like someone was in a hurry! Coreolanus grabbed a flimsy little Badger industrial ship and tossed on a few random mods. The fitting of the Badger involved no tank and less logic. Worst of all, Coreolanus forgot his permit! Agent holdmybeer asked him to slow down a bit and reconsider. (By killing him.)
Figures. Coreolanus was caught red-handed with a PLEX in the cargo. I bet the carebear couldn't wait to cash it.
It was a week of bot-aspirant haulers! Orka Ohaer made a similar mistake with his own flimsy industrial ship, but he managed to lose 1.4 billion isk of random cargo. It sorta looks like Orka put everything he owned into this ship. Surveying the situation with a perspective that only an Agent can possess, HotShotX Warcastle felt it was a good time for Orka to start over in EVE. A few thousand damage points later, Orka was liberated from his shady past.
Less than an hour later, Windows Evotori caught Agent HotShotX Warcastle's eye. Another flimsy industrial carrying over 1 billion isk of garbage! Incredibly, the Mammoth pilot was even more of a Goofus, since much of the value of this kill came from the industrial's mods. Wait a minute, what are those green cargo expanders...?
A billion isk in anti-tank mods? "ORE Expanded Cargohold"? Sorry, no. I don't have to deal with this, and I'm not going to. Everyone who fits or carries an ORE Expanded Cargohold is automatically considered in violation of the Code. Unless you're looting it from someone else's wreck, of course.
It looks like we're making some progress on the pod front. This week, the carebears of highsec were using cheaper implants than usual. Still, Kamatscho managed to lose 2.5 billion isk of unnecessary implants while traveling through a 1.0 security system. Agent Santo Trafficante and his smartbombing ways to put an end to all that. Now all that remains is for us to watch the pods next week. Will the carebears put aside the decadence of previous weeks, or will their bad habits return?
Appealing Death had a particularly inauspicious name. His chosen profession--AFK hauling--was equally dubious. He lacked a 10 million isk permit and scorned the Code, so he lost nearly 20 billion isk in one battle. The Suroken system bled that day. Agents PJ Abrams, Kusotarre, leevi Serafin, AJ Abrams, Morrak Awit, SoullessAvenger, Himari Nakano, Twizzlespark Celes, Dios Rajash, Emotion Sasen, Diasho Shorin, Dios Rojosh, Daishi Saria, Dashio Sariana, Diaz Serine, dude there's my-pod, Dias Rajashi, Sasha Cohenberg, PI Slave 004, Anderton Faln, Yojiro, Krisi Kristo, and Ivan Von Jagermeister were victorious and brought honour to Suroken.
Looks like someone was in a hurry! Coreolanus grabbed a flimsy little Badger industrial ship and tossed on a few random mods. The fitting of the Badger involved no tank and less logic. Worst of all, Coreolanus forgot his permit! Agent holdmybeer asked him to slow down a bit and reconsider. (By killing him.)
Figures. Coreolanus was caught red-handed with a PLEX in the cargo. I bet the carebear couldn't wait to cash it.
It was a week of bot-aspirant haulers! Orka Ohaer made a similar mistake with his own flimsy industrial ship, but he managed to lose 1.4 billion isk of random cargo. It sorta looks like Orka put everything he owned into this ship. Surveying the situation with a perspective that only an Agent can possess, HotShotX Warcastle felt it was a good time for Orka to start over in EVE. A few thousand damage points later, Orka was liberated from his shady past.
Less than an hour later, Windows Evotori caught Agent HotShotX Warcastle's eye. Another flimsy industrial carrying over 1 billion isk of garbage! Incredibly, the Mammoth pilot was even more of a Goofus, since much of the value of this kill came from the industrial's mods. Wait a minute, what are those green cargo expanders...?
A billion isk in anti-tank mods? "ORE Expanded Cargohold"? Sorry, no. I don't have to deal with this, and I'm not going to. Everyone who fits or carries an ORE Expanded Cargohold is automatically considered in violation of the Code. Unless you're looting it from someone else's wreck, of course.
It looks like we're making some progress on the pod front. This week, the carebears of highsec were using cheaper implants than usual. Still, Kamatscho managed to lose 2.5 billion isk of unnecessary implants while traveling through a 1.0 security system. Agent Santo Trafficante and his smartbombing ways to put an end to all that. Now all that remains is for us to watch the pods next week. Will the carebears put aside the decadence of previous weeks, or will their bad habits return?
Saturday, March 7, 2015
Part of Our World, Part 2
Previously, on MinerBumping... Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri's study of whale behavior made him an even more powerful Agent than ever before. He swiftly destroyed about a billion isk worth of illegal mining equipment and implants from a single The Ancient GateKeepers Military Enforcement corp mining fleet. The surviving Covetor returned to keyboard and skedaddled.
The survivor's alt challenged Salah to find him, so Salah found him. Actually, the killmail timestamp indicates that Salah found him a minute before the challenge was made. It doesn't get any more elite than this, folks.
A clean sweep! The asteroid belt looked so much more beautiful without all the bot-aspirancy mucking it up.
Salah displayed extraordinary PvP prowess. He'd eliminated all of the barges and exhumers. He'd popped their pods. The Ancient GateKeepers could deny the New Order's power no longer. Now it was time for the mining permit fees to start rolling in.
Despite Salah's victories, the peace negotiations dragged on and on.
Highsec miner Ghost Bull wasn't impressed by people who can kill a mining ship. Ganking doesn't require skill, he felt. Why do highsec miners complain about other players not having skill? The same question goes for highsec PvE'ers who complain about gankers not taking risks.
Ghost Bull was the latest to join the Rip Van Winkle club. Apparently he was asleep when the New Order took power. The good news is that a responsible voter had his proxy during the big election for supreme ruler of highsec. Ghost's vote was cast for me.
In desperate act of rebellion, Ghost Bull tried to interfere with Salah's ganking spree. But our Agents are no less capable when it comes to shooting ships that can shoot back. Salah easily destroyed Ghost's Ishkur. Peace returned to the Poinen system.
AtoMisE Aurilen was another of Ghost's alts. Salah's victory in their 1v1 was undeniable. It finally drove the carebear to give our Agent some credit.
After a brief racial inquiry, AtoMisE decided to play the victim. This is the usually the part of the story where we would look up AtoMisE's profile, discover that he'd been playing EVE a long time, and roll our eyes at his "I'm a new player" martyr routine.
...But Salah has us covered. What does a miner do when he gets called out on the "new player" nonsense? Now we know: He makes another excuse. As part of the New Order's latest public awareness campaign, I think I'll keep linking this post by CCP Rise until the situation improves.
Though his fleet's anti-asteroid firepower had been reduced, AtoMisE remained defiant as ever.
In spite of his rage, he was still just a carebear in a station. The New Order remains in power over all the highsec systems. The next time AtoMisE and his corpmates get an opportunity to speak to one of our Agents, hopefully the carebears will have something worth saying. Who knows? Maybe they'll even spice up the conversation with a payment of 10 million isk.
The survivor's alt challenged Salah to find him, so Salah found him. Actually, the killmail timestamp indicates that Salah found him a minute before the challenge was made. It doesn't get any more elite than this, folks.
A clean sweep! The asteroid belt looked so much more beautiful without all the bot-aspirancy mucking it up.
Salah displayed extraordinary PvP prowess. He'd eliminated all of the barges and exhumers. He'd popped their pods. The Ancient GateKeepers could deny the New Order's power no longer. Now it was time for the mining permit fees to start rolling in.
Despite Salah's victories, the peace negotiations dragged on and on.
Highsec miner Ghost Bull wasn't impressed by people who can kill a mining ship. Ganking doesn't require skill, he felt. Why do highsec miners complain about other players not having skill? The same question goes for highsec PvE'ers who complain about gankers not taking risks.
Ghost Bull was the latest to join the Rip Van Winkle club. Apparently he was asleep when the New Order took power. The good news is that a responsible voter had his proxy during the big election for supreme ruler of highsec. Ghost's vote was cast for me.
In desperate act of rebellion, Ghost Bull tried to interfere with Salah's ganking spree. But our Agents are no less capable when it comes to shooting ships that can shoot back. Salah easily destroyed Ghost's Ishkur. Peace returned to the Poinen system.
AtoMisE Aurilen was another of Ghost's alts. Salah's victory in their 1v1 was undeniable. It finally drove the carebear to give our Agent some credit.
After a brief racial inquiry, AtoMisE decided to play the victim. This is the usually the part of the story where we would look up AtoMisE's profile, discover that he'd been playing EVE a long time, and roll our eyes at his "I'm a new player" martyr routine.
...But Salah has us covered. What does a miner do when he gets called out on the "new player" nonsense? Now we know: He makes another excuse. As part of the New Order's latest public awareness campaign, I think I'll keep linking this post by CCP Rise until the situation improves.
Though his fleet's anti-asteroid firepower had been reduced, AtoMisE remained defiant as ever.
In spite of his rage, he was still just a carebear in a station. The New Order remains in power over all the highsec systems. The next time AtoMisE and his corpmates get an opportunity to speak to one of our Agents, hopefully the carebears will have something worth saying. Who knows? Maybe they'll even spice up the conversation with a payment of 10 million isk.
Friday, March 6, 2015
Part of Our World, Part 1
Our Agents aren't just warriors--they're scholars, too. Warrior scholars, if you will. They're constantly learning, growing, and evolving.
To gain insight into the condition of the highsec miner, Agent Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri went to Sweden to study the behavior of real-life Orcas and other sea mammals. It paid off, big time.
When he returned to EVE, Salah encountered a group of miners from The Ancient GateKeepers Military Enforcement corp. They were spread out across an asteroid belt, using jetcans instead of their corp's Orca. By contrasting this behavior with that of real-life whales, Salah was instantly able to determine that they were bad miners.
Agent Salah made contact with the Ancient GateKeepers by ganking one of their fail-fit mining ships.
After his brief appointment with the ganked miner, Salah was able to make a tentative diagnosis of bot-aspirancy. He strongly suspected that bot-aspirancy had infected others in the group, too.
The diagnosis was confirmed when Salah returned to the asteroid belt. The rest of the Ancient GateKeepers' mining fleet were still chewing away at the ore, completely oblivious to the recent gank of their Hulk pilot. Still, Salah wanted to be absolutely certain, so he ganked and podded another of their miners.
Salah invited the newly ganked Ghost Bull into a convo. Before chatting with the miner, Salah took a quick break to review his killmails. Ghost Bull lost a Covetor and a pod worth 650 million isk.
As Salah reviewed the killmails, Ghost Bull waited patiently in the lobby.
Carebears can be strange creatures. Ghost Bull declared himself exempt from the Code. He belonged to another world. Yet he was mining in ours.
The emergent content recipient refused to see reason. For his roughly 750 million isk loss, he demanded to be reimbursed 10 million isk. He probably wanted to cheat his way into permit ownership.
When Ghost Bull quieted down, it was time for another stirring speech from Agent Lament von Gankenheim.
After the thrilling peroration of Lament's speech, Ghost Bull issued a challenge: Find me! Ghost Bull himself had lost own mining ship, but his alt's Covetor was still at large. Would our Agents be able to find him before it was too late?
Of course. The CODE always wins--especially when carebears try to hide at a system's star. Salah landed right on top of the Covetor, which was sitting peacefully next to Salah's scout. Would the Ancient GateKeepers finally wake up and smell the Code?
To be continued...
To gain insight into the condition of the highsec miner, Agent Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri went to Sweden to study the behavior of real-life Orcas and other sea mammals. It paid off, big time.
When he returned to EVE, Salah encountered a group of miners from The Ancient GateKeepers Military Enforcement corp. They were spread out across an asteroid belt, using jetcans instead of their corp's Orca. By contrasting this behavior with that of real-life whales, Salah was instantly able to determine that they were bad miners.
Agent Salah made contact with the Ancient GateKeepers by ganking one of their fail-fit mining ships.
After his brief appointment with the ganked miner, Salah was able to make a tentative diagnosis of bot-aspirancy. He strongly suspected that bot-aspirancy had infected others in the group, too.
The diagnosis was confirmed when Salah returned to the asteroid belt. The rest of the Ancient GateKeepers' mining fleet were still chewing away at the ore, completely oblivious to the recent gank of their Hulk pilot. Still, Salah wanted to be absolutely certain, so he ganked and podded another of their miners.
Salah invited the newly ganked Ghost Bull into a convo. Before chatting with the miner, Salah took a quick break to review his killmails. Ghost Bull lost a Covetor and a pod worth 650 million isk.
As Salah reviewed the killmails, Ghost Bull waited patiently in the lobby.
Carebears can be strange creatures. Ghost Bull declared himself exempt from the Code. He belonged to another world. Yet he was mining in ours.
The emergent content recipient refused to see reason. For his roughly 750 million isk loss, he demanded to be reimbursed 10 million isk. He probably wanted to cheat his way into permit ownership.
When Ghost Bull quieted down, it was time for another stirring speech from Agent Lament von Gankenheim.
After the thrilling peroration of Lament's speech, Ghost Bull issued a challenge: Find me! Ghost Bull himself had lost own mining ship, but his alt's Covetor was still at large. Would our Agents be able to find him before it was too late?
Of course. The CODE always wins--especially when carebears try to hide at a system's star. Salah landed right on top of the Covetor, which was sitting peacefully next to Salah's scout. Would the Ancient GateKeepers finally wake up and smell the Code?
To be continued...
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