Someday They Will Answer for This

Even our most implacable enemies can't fail to admit the growing power and influence of the New Order.

Thanks to the marvels of social media, you can watch highsec's healing process in real time! Agent Kalorned's @NewOrderGamis feed is always buzzing.

You might assume that by now, everyone in highsec is educated. It's true that there are a lot more educated folks in highsec now than a few years ago. Yet much work remains to be done.

The good news: Education isn't entirely voluntary. We can force people to learn, even if they don't want to. It's crucial, because the carebears who need it the most usually want it the least.

Every so often, another video in the "Code Is Forever" series pops up on the feed. Check out The Code is Forever #14 and be amazed.

Speaking of people who need a proper education, 1Mcnasty TheMcnastys made a real-life threat against Kalorned--and then warned him that things were going to get bad. It's not a good sign when a carebear's first move is to make a real-life threat. Historically, it's a bad jumping-off point.

Nevertheless, threats of this nature can be ambiguous. Was he going to use resources to find Kalorned in real life, or in the game? Are his "resources" locator agents?

Don't be too quick to judge 1Mcnasty. He merely wanted to stick up for his fellow miner.

...And maybe some other stuff. He promised to contact Kalorned outside the game (in-game).

Though the New Order has reigned supreme in the face of all opposition for years, there's always somebody who thinks our downfall is right around the corner.

It's easy to be skeptical of these carebears. As the years go by, the only thing that changes are the real-world comparisons. Who knows? In another few hundred years, maybe carebears would compare the New Order to terrorist groups run by rogue cyborgs? If there were still carebears, I mean. We will achieve total victory in highsec long before the AIs take over.

Then again, there's always some new danger out there. Fyr Inkunen thinks he might figure out a way to beat the New Order, after he learns more about EVE's game mechanics.

Our enemies believe that karma will catch up with us one day. But maybe it already has, and it's good karma? At any rate, it is the carebears of highsec who must answer to a power greater than themselves: Us.

Bad Luck Bronies

In every highsec PvE corp, there comes a time when the leadership must choose to take the right path or the wrong path. There is no third option. Theirs will be either a corporation of Gallants or a corporation of Goofuses.

HELP
From: koiso Phoenix
Sent: 2015-04-14 00:39:00
To: Rots Mijnwerker

hey rots i need allience support what the requirements for joining your allience we are getting rape by merc corps

any adive

So it was with PwnySquad, a small but growing highsec industrial corp. In recent days, it had come under attack from mercenaries. This, on its own, was not enough to doom the PwnySquad to oblivion. They still had the ability to save themselves, or not.

New Order Permit Discrepancy
From: Kalorned
Sent: 2015-04-15 03:06:00
To: koiso Phoenix

Greetings Koisi,
It has come to my attention that you lack a New Order mining permit as required in THe New Halaima Code of Conduct - You must obtain a New Order mining permit for 10m ISK to continue mining in The New Orders space (All of High Sec).

Thanks for your time,
-Kalorned

Enter the New Order of Highsec, in the form of Agent Kalorned. He'd heard through the grapevine that the PwnySquad was conducting illegal mining operations. In fact, no one in PwnySquad had even bothered to ask Kalorned for a permit. Perhaps koiso Phoenix and her fellow ponies were simply ignorant. If so, they now had the chance to turn things around. In following the Code, they might even gain the moral authority needed to deal with their pesky merc problem.

Re: New Order Permit Discrepancy
From: koiso Phoenix
Sent: 2015-04-15 03:09:00
To: Kalorned

eat a DIX

Alas, it was not to be. koiso made the fateful decision not to obey the Code. The PwnySquad would go it alone, spurning the New Order family it needed so desperately to survive. And the bad luck started almost immediately.

koiso was flying around aimlessly through Uedama in a tech II fit destroyer. As you might expect, her Talwar was quickly popped. However, you might assume this was a suicide gank performed by a bunch of Uedama campers. Well, not exactly.

In a shocking turn of events, no fewer than four members of the PwnySquad suddenly, and without warning, opened fire on their leader. In disbelief, koiso re-shipped.

koiso's Cerberus had no better luck. It, too, was awoxed. PwnySquad was racked by a seemingly endless series of betrayals. Somebody screwed up, big time. Who was responsible for recruiting all of these people?

PwnySquad was supposed to be one of the thousands of "drama-free", do-whatever-you-want industrial corps. Now it was all drama, all the time. Also, wait a minute, one of the recruitment officers was TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet?

Yes, it was Agent TheInternet, fresh off a successful stint as a director of The Sky Gods Fortune corp. TheInternet came to PwnySquad, eager to teach them about the joys of a corp ore buyback program. One thing led to another.

The PwnySquad corp changed so much in only a few days' time. koiso's anti-Code ideology no longer seemed relevant to a corp filled increasingly with young, Gallant recruits.

TheInternet was entrusted with leadership of the corp. A series of revolutionary reforms passed. Reparations were paid to Agent Kalorned, and the corp's formerly tense relationship with the New Order was repaired.

TheInternet became the most celebrated CEO in PwnySquad history.

But not everybody was happy with the changes. There remained a regressive element.

New Order Bullshit
From: Hateburn Crematorius
Sent: 2015-04-17 13:04:00
To: koiso Phoenix

So should we start another corp or something?

The reactionaries still looked to koiso for guidance, despite her disastrous reign.

Re: New Order Bullshit
From: koiso Phoenix
Sent: 2015-04-19 00:18:00
To: Hateburn Crematorius

im not restarting anything right now until i get some friend to educate me of the proper way to run a corp

srry

Victory for the New Order! The Code violators in PwnySquad were punished so effectively that even koiso started to doubt her ability to lead a corp. Most carebear leaders remain totally confident, no matter how many corps they lose.

So it was that PwnySquad chose to walk the path of peace and prosperity. koiso was wrong about one thing, though: CODE people are much better than Nazi Germany.

Kills of the Week

Let's talk about respect. Responsible EVE players show each other proper levels of respect. Respect, of course, must be earned. For example, Agents of the New Order earn instant respect by virtue of who they are and what they stand for. Carebears, for the same reasons, must labor greatly to earn it. Our Agents, having already earned the respect of all highsec, are in the position of judging the carebears and determining whether they are worthy of respect.

Now let's bring these abstract concepts to life. Review the following kills from the week of May 3rd @ 00:00 EVEtime through May 9th @ 23:59 EVEtime. As you do, consider whether or not the carebears involved have earned your respect.

KILLMAIL

A funny thing happened this week. Serren Travius lost a pod apparently worth 6.1 billion isk after Agent Ima Wreckyou destroyed Serren's fail-fit Retriever.

As you can see, I wasn't kidding about the fail-fit. But was the pod truly worth over 6 billion isk?

Re: Termination Notice
From: Serren Travius
Sent: 2015.05.08 21:32
To: Karak Terrel

Was not Bot and not AFT. By the way. Go fuck yourself

Serren seemed to think so. Actually, the killboards were wonky this week due to CCP handing out Genolution Core Augmention CA-3's and 4's like candy. Previously, they had been worth billions. How did the carebears react when freely granted these treasures?

...They threw them away like garbage. Our Agents popped carebears who recklessly transported the implants in all kinds of ships: A destroyer, a rookie ship, a Rifter, and even (gasp) a Stabber.

Carebears, this is why you don't deserve nice things.

KILLMAIL

DiaRoss threw away several implants, along with 10 billion isk in other stuff (including 10 Machariels) in a speed-fit freighter. Agents Warr Akini, Rehtom Lamina, Benchat Mas, MINMATAR CITIZEN 24102115, MINMATAR CITIZEN 10220415, Gad'ui, Ikolo, MINMITAR CITIZEN 10230415, Turkey Baster, Dungar's Sister, Sasha Cohenberg, dude there's my-pod, and Jeremy Bustarhymes popped him.

Eagle-eyed readers will notice that DiaRoss hasn't changed much over the years. DiaRoss, of course, is the alt of the more famous DiaRosCris. Remember her?

DiaRosCris > pls suuport me..
DiaRosCris > so that CCP.. change that..
DiaRosCris > ERROR
DiaRosCris > we dont want to FIGHT!!! we WANT TO MINE!!!
DiaRosCris > BIG LETTER TO ccp--O CHANGE SO;ME things
DiaRosCris > oda i close my acout
DiaRosCris > cose of that.-.SHIT.. MININGBUMPER--com

After all this time, she's still getting freighters blown up. What a gal. She's the one who got away--or didn't.

KILLMAIL

Genolutions aside, some carebears managed to get genuinely expensive implants vaporized this week. Elisa Vilerum was plodding along, AFK autopiloting in a rookie ship when Agent Eva Mavas demanded that she stop. She didn't.

For someone "flying a ship that can't shoot back", Elisa had a lot of gunnery implants.

KILLMAIL

Meanwhile, Mopij broke new ground in the field of AFK pod-flying. Agent Aaaarrgg smashed his 1.9 billion isk Capsule, but only after Mopij had already gotten his 4.3 billion isk anti-tanked freighter ganked--five and a half hours earlier. His pod was simply floating on a gate in Uedama that entire time. No matter how long it takes, the New Order will always step in to clean up a mess.

KILLMAIL

Commander Lor was flying an Archon in nullsec until he was ambushed and destroyed by a 150-man fleet. Everyone wanted to get in on the capital killmail. But Agent Shamefuldirty of PERMIT REGULATORS corp had something else in mind. He quickly snapped up the 4 billion isk pod (worth nearly twice as much as the Archon itself).

Why would an Agent do such a thing? Shamefuldirty sent the pilot an EVEmail, explaining that he was being punished for "Archonpiloting without a permit". Yes, our Agent traveled to nullsec, waited for a capital to be blown up, and beat out 150 other people for the podkill, all so he could make this 4 billion isk joke. As I'm sure Commander Lor would agree, it was well worth it!

KILLMAIL

Some carebears need a little extra push toward compliance. Praedor Depran was busy wasting his tech III combat ship on a fight against a harmless NPC. Praedor didn't buy a permit. He thought he was safe in his chosen profession. He wasn't like those silly miners who can't shoot back. The NPC he was battling steadily chipped away at Praedor's defenses but couldn't quite break through. (Sounds like the way some of our Agents feel when dealing with an especially stubborn bot-aspirant!)

Then, victory. Agent Jaxi Wreckful swooped in and fired on Praedor with a gank Talos, putting the damage over the top and obliterating the tech III ship. It's symbolic, really: Highsec works best when we all work together.

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #79

Highsec is strewn with the frozen corpses of those who paid the ultimate price for abandoning common sense and common Code. And it is continually refreshed, bathed each day in a sea of tears. No wonder people are becoming so optimistic these days about highsec's future!

Oh look, more of those tears I was telling you about. It must be time for another edition of the Grab Bag.

How many hundreds of times have we seen carebears complain about being shot when they had no guns? Maybe carebears should start carrying guns, then?

If you're so afraid of retaliation that you need to pay someone else to send me an EVEmail, maybe your constellation isn't the impregnable rebel stronghold that you think it is.

Meanwhile, residents of another region are trying to buy their independence. To answer Hushidh Amalette's question, I wouldn't sell even a single system of highsec for all the money in the world. It wouldn't be fair to all the citizens who expect and deserve the Code.

Ordinary EVE players draw great inspiration from the Code. Little newbies look at us and say, "That's what I want to be, when I finish the tutorial!"

Issues of religious freedom aside, even people who reject the Code can be taught lessons about highsec mining. As the old saying goes, there's more than one way to skin a Hulk.

The Code's influence has spread rapidly. It leaps over borders and boundaries of all kinds. Formerly worthless in-game channels have been repurposed by the New Order. Now our Agents put them to good use, promoting the Code. They usually receive a mixed reception.

medisme's EVEmail followed a new trend where writers close with "fuck the Code" or some variation thereof. Whatever happened to "yours truly", "best wishes", or even "sincerely"?

The New Order's victories are based on the principles of asymmetric warfare. We put in a little and get out a lot.

How can a miner take revenge? Most threaten to raise an army or destroy the New Order in some mysterious way. miranda talonhawk was more honest.

An honest question and an honest answer. Is that what carebears really want? Let's see:

Some people can't handle the truth. No wonder the Code upsets them so much--it delivers a very heavily concentrated dose.

Did you realize that for the price of a mining permit, you can put a bounty of 315,315 on 31 miners? Based on the reaction she got, Shailagh is probably one of ours, bro.

If a Boeing Lands on Your Skull

When an Agent of the New Order ganks you, it is standard protocol for him or her to send you an EVEmail notifying you of your obligations under the Code. Critics say that this is merely our way of fishing for tears. In fact, it's community outreach. It's also necessary, because when a gank recipient doesn't get an explanation, they usually ask for one anyway. For instance:

I know what you're thinking, dear reader: CCP has already confirmed that ganking improves player retention. AHMED, a bot-aspirant autopiloter, hadn't heard.

And because I know you so well, dear reader, I know what else you're thinking: How was the name "AHMED" not already taken a long time ago? Actually, it was. AHMED is a 2004 player. When Agent Tisiphone Dira ganked AHMED, she knew she would need special assistance in shepherding the wayward carebear to the Code.

Tisiphone enlisted the support of Agent Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri and invited AHMED to join a Code-compliant complaint channel. At that very moment, AHMED was finishing up the EVEmail seen earlier.

For some reason, tempers tend to flare in EVE--especially in highsec. One of the services provided by the New Order is the creation of safe spaces for civilized discourse. Unfortunately, the only "safe space" most carebears are interested in is a 100% risk-free highsec theme park. They actually prefer risk in their conversations.

AHMED was willing to participate in the dialogue, but his motives were suspect. He used the channel as a platform for spreading hate and promoting the 1980s classic, "The Karate Kid".

In the movie, a youngster learns martial arts from an elite PvP'er who teaches him how to defend himself against bullies. The New Order performs a similar function in highsec: We mentor players and demonstrate how to PvP effectively. Also, we stand up to the bullies.

At first, AHMED couldn't grasp how this special training was going to help. He didn't see the benefit in getting his shuttle and pod waxed off by a Thrasher.

Though a bit cryptic, there was no denying that our Agents were filled with wisdom. It was time for AHMED to show some gratitude.

Not every student is a good one, however. AHMED needed much more training.

Then again, sometimes it is the teacher who learns something from his student.

In this particular case, there was nothing to learn from AHMED. He was full of nonsense.

Sadly, AHMED continued to wander aimlessly. A few days later, a group of New Order Agents caught up with AHMED. They struck first and struck hard. AHMED could've learned PvP from the best, but instead he chose to become another 2004 character used for highsec mining. AHMED's potential remains unfulfilled. Will he get a sequel?

The Man Who Didn't Know When to Comply, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... Cody Fayden had a problem. He was addicted to decadent fittings and breaking the Code. Agent Nicolas Dupre aimed to cure the carebear by repeatedly ganking him. After each loss, Nicolas taught Cody something new about the game's mechanics. Cody was learning, but slowly--and at the cost of two blingy Mackinaws and two blingy Tengus.

From: Cody Fayden
Sent: 2015.04.08 12:06
To: Nicolas Dupre,

I'm not a fan of PVP. I'm not really good at it and it does not interest me too. Of course I'm mad at you. What you´ll probably understand. And what you probably pleased. I must confess, what do you do you do well. Tactically, efficient and well thought out. Just why do not you do it in low or nullsec where people like you are. People who like PVP. Or people want to take the risk for more profit to be in danger. I just want to from time to time leisure of my work, my family and my life. Few missions, some ores, little research you know? It´s probally not fun for you but for me. But I can not do. because as you take my fun and I constantly have to fear being killed in hisec and loose my hard earned money and equipment ... so it does not make any sense for me anymore, and if you look how many people have left the game because of Gankern you should agree with me actually. Well ... would you even if you do not do it for me would probably get some other and make it ... so it's not matter anyway ... now I am going to be a bit of miners and probably sometimes afk ... So come and get your next Kill Tough Guy
Sorry for the English, i´ve not many time atm so i used googletranslate
Bye

Cody made it perfectly clear that he would never obey the Code. The rule against going AFK was a deal-breaker. Cody loved to go AFK while mining or even sitting around in a blingy mission-running ship. Previously, Nicolas earned a kill right against Cody because Cody forgot to activate his own kill right before attacking Nicolas. Then Nicolas used the kill right to destroy one of Cody's Tengus.

Now Cody was safe. Right? Flashback.....

Nicolas Dupre > So you have one option to make this better
Nicolas Dupre > You could eject
Cody Fayden > how?
Nicolas Dupre > Right click your ship
Cody Fayden > but i dont loose sp
Nicolas Dupre > See? That helps
Cody Fayden > why? why did you do that? help me to understand this?
Nicolas Dupre > Well, basically because it's fair play

...Not quite safe. When Nicolas used the kill right to kill Cody's Tengu, he talked Cody into ejecting first. This spared Cody the loss of skillpoints, but it had a side effect. Nicolas had the opportunity to teach Cody about another quirk of the game mechanics: If someone ejects from a ship, you don't exhaust your kill right when you blow it up. Therefore, Nicolas still had a kill right against Cody. How unintuitive!

Nicolas Dupre > Hi again
Cody Fayden > hey
Nicolas Dupre > I'm afraid I might have to kill you again
Cody Fayden > then do ..
Nicolas Dupre > Really? You're that resigned?
Cody Fayden > sure
Nicolas Dupre > You don't want to come up with a clever plan to live instead?
Cody Fayden > nope... i give up that things... you got a kill right and i wait for the day that you come

A week later, Nicolas caught up with Cody. The carebear had gone AFK in yet another Tengu.

Nicolas Dupre > Okay. So want to do this with SP loss or no SP loss?
Nicolas Dupre > I'm fine either way
Cody Fayden > destroy me
Cody Fayden > shields are down
Nicolas Dupre > Okay then. I might bring some friends who are around though, you know, we like to get on killmails ;)
Cody Fayden > sure... i looked and shoot you so is isn´t to bouring... i´m afk... see ya

Nicolas invited Cody to eject again, but the carebear simply had no fight left in him. He awaited the destruction of his ship.

Cody Fayden > re, why i´m not destroyed ?
Cody Fayden > come on hurry up ;-)
Nicolas Dupre > Well we're not in a hurry, just seeing whether we can get someone else here
Nicolas Dupre > Expensive implants?
Cody Fayden > nope..
Nicolas Dupre > So no high-grade crystal set or such?
Cody Fayden > i think not.. and when it´s hmm dont know the word... Egal

As Nicolas invited others onto the imminent killmail, Cody returned. He spammed warp just after the Tengu popped. At least he didn't lose his pod.

Cody hadn't lost his addiction to decadent fittings. It cost him another 2 billion isk Tengu. That was the third blingy Tengu he lost, all resulting from his original failure to activate his kill right against Nicolas before opening fire.

Cody Fayden > at least the kill right is away...
Nicolas Dupre > Yup
Cody Fayden > you are looking for other victims now? you now have cost me already 10 billion, ok, now is not so much, but still a bit annoying =)
Nicolas Dupre > 10?
Cody Fayden > yeah round about
Nicolas Dupre > I think it was more like 8? Well I'm not really counting

Cody had learned so much from Nicolas over the past several days. Or had he?

Only a few hours later, Nicolas caught Cody AFK mining in a 778 million isk Mackinaw in the same system. Cody, with 4 years in the game, was still mining in 0.8 security space. The gank required two Taloses, but it was well worth it.

Two Taloses, and a Thrasher to pop the 2.9 billion isk pod. Of course Cody had a blingy pod.

A pod which did, in fact, contain a crystal set.

Nicolas Dupre > o/
Cody Fayden > oh, im dead again... k
Nicolas Dupre > You weren't entirely honest about not having HG crystals, were you? :)
Cody Fayden > no, i were not, but as i say it does not matter

Cody suffered greatly at the hands of Agent Nicolas, who personally saw to the destruction of three blingy Mackinaws, three blingy Tengus, a blingy pod and a 1.2 billion isk bounty--for a total of about 12 billion isk.

Cody finally decided he'd had enough. Highsec was too dangerous for him. How else can you describe a place where you can lose that much isk in so little time? The very next day, Cody left highsec and went to wormhole space, which he assumed couldn't be any worse.

And, naturally, once he made his way into a wormhole, this was the result:

Cody still had a lot of learning to do. This, his fourth Tengu, was the most expensive one yet.

And he hadn't lost his taste for crystal implants.

Cody Fayden remains a work in progress. I hope one day he can be satisfied with cheaper, more practical fittings. I hope he gains the wisdom to comply with the Code. Until then, I fear that EVE players in search of expensive killmails will continue to target Cody.