The Ruse Kruise, Part 1

It all started innocently enough.

Jason Kusion, patriarch of the Kusion family, is easily one of the most famous gankers in EVE history. When Jason decided to create a corporation for the Kusion clan, he and Globby--the notorious Goon inventor of hyperdunking--saw an opportunity.

The result was a post on Reddit claiming that Jason had stolen 500 billion isk in assets from CODE. after quarreling with loyalanon about how to split loot. From the perspective of its authors, the story seemed silly enough. For one thing, CODE. has never maintained stockpiles of anywhere near 500 billion isk. (Unlike the great powers of nullsec, we use what we have, rather than hoarding it.) For another thing, loyalanon was permabanned from EVE nearly a year ago. Needless to say, he doesn't spend much time fighting with people over loot-sharing structures.

The story may have lacked credibility, but it had a mighty receptive audience. The Reddit crowd went into a fit of ecstasy. With 92% upvotes, it instantly rocketed to the top of the EVE subreddit. They bought the story completely.

Word soon spread to the Anti-Ganking channel, its chatter faithfully logged by New Order spies.

It seemed the Anti-Gankers were willing to believe anything, as long as it received enough upvotes on Reddit. But then things got turned up a notch.

Not wanting to miss out on the action, loyalanon jumped in with an even more unbelievable story. His own Reddit post claimed that he'd been my alt all along, and that the loss of the 500 billion isk cache also meant the end of MinerBumping.

One would think that loyalanon's story was too outrageous even for the carebear-centric gaggle of EVE redditors. Yet it, too, immediately rode a wave of upvotes to the top of the subreddit.

The Anti-Gankers were stunned by this new development. Being more familiar with the history of loyalanon's permaban, they began to spin conspiracy theories.

Regardless of the truth of loyalanon's story, one thing was certain: CODE. was finished, once and for all. Again.

The only downside to this tremendous news was that Anti-Ganking couldn't take any credit for the 500 billion isk heist or the impending cancellation of MinerBumping.

...On the other hand, these are Anti-Gankers we're talking about. Having failed to achieve a victory in all these years, they'll take what they can get.

Any skepticism was immediately stamped out. There would be no raining on this parade. If this "CODE. is dead" event turned out to be another false alarm, it would be heartbreaking.

And so the dial on the crazy meter was turned up even higher.

To be continued...

Over One Trillion One Hundred Twenty-One Billion in Shares Sold

New Order stock is always available. Authorizing an infinite number of shares for purchase was one of the best business decisions we've ever made. We have opened the financial future of highsec to the masses. No one can accuse us of being snobs, that's for sure.

Density Xavier referenced her recent purchase of 155 shares when asking her question about how to buy a permit. I already gave Density the instructions on how to buy a permit, but let's talk about the shares: Her purchase sent us exactly to the 1 trillion 116 billion isk mark (good timing and math!) and earned her a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

Burn Jita was the gift that kept on giving. Super Perforator celebrated the event by purchasing 2,555 more shares of New Order stock, sending us over the 1 trillion 117 and 1 trillion 118 billion isk marks. By adding to her already sizable holdings, she earned a Double Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

Meanwhile, Apo123 increased his own holdings, purchasing 315 more shares. This was enough to get us past the 1 trillion 119 billion isk mark and earn him a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

Celebrated philosopher and Agent Bing Bangboom was in a reflective mood this week--as he often is when purchasing New Order stock. Bing bought 2,000 more shares, and this sent us over the 1 trillion 120 billion and 1 trillion 121 billion isk marks. He earned a Double Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

Super Perforator and Bing Bangboom are both getting close to breaking into the top five shareholder positions. I told you to keep an eye on those two.

BONUS GUIDANCE!

Buying a lot of New Order stock--particularly at the highest levels--is pretty darned elite. It's basically EVE's endgame content. But what, you ask, is there to say about the low-level EVE player? Such as the lowly freighter pilot, for example?

Step one: Get a permit. Buying a mining permit makes life in highsec much easier. It's like... It's like going to Chill Penguin's stage first in Mega Man X so you can pick up the speed boots. Trust me, get yourself a mining permit as soon as you can.

Lesson number two: A mining permit is a requirement of the Code, not a license to violate the Code. The day after getting a permit, Yogmiester Bashore lost his freighter. He was triple-anti-tanked at the time.

Yogmiester had a well-documented history of flouting the tanking requirement of the Code.

Agent Lawrence Lawton therefore had no choice but to revoke Yogmiester's permit. This decision was immediately reinforced by Yogmiester's reaction:

The freighter pilot was more concerned with someone telling him to do a hauling job. Carebears, if you're that worried about what someone is telling you to do, and that person's name isn't James 315, then you're doing EVE wrong.

Fraud in the Reimbursement, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... BARANDYWINE SHAWN-NEE lost her Mackinaw to Agent Kalorned. Five years ago, she lost a Retriever to NPCs. When she contacted Reimbursement Officer Svara Eir, for some reason she demanded to be compensated for the loss of her Retriever. When Svara refused, things got heated.

BARANDYWINE was the kind of miner who could look right at a killmail and deny what she was seeing. By contrast, Svara was an Agent of the New Order. We value truth, not delusions.

The miner continued to rage. Her anger was fueled in part by the dawning realization that she wouldn't be reimbursed for a ship "ganked" by NPCs.

It seemed as though BARANDYWINE was prepared to continue the stalemate indefinitely. Svara didn't plan to indulge her. This matter would be resolved within the next few minutes.

At long last, BARANDYWINE conceded that the killmail didn't show what she thought it should. But she could offer no reasonable explanation for the discrepancy.

Svara had no choice but to deny BARANDYWINE's reimbursement request and close the petition. Our Agents don't do so lightly. The miner had gotten a full, fair hearing.

Suddenly, out of the blue, BARANDYWINE made a discovery: She'd lost a Mackinaw to Agent Kalorned, not a Retriever! And she had the killmail to prove it.

At the very moment of her deepest despair, BARANDYWINE had new hope of getting some isk.

Now the miner regained her confidence. There was no denying the Mackinaw killmail. It was quite clearly destroyed by Agents of the New Order. How could Svara deny the reimbursement request?

New Order bureaucracy is known for its incredible efficiency and efficacy. Of course, even our Agents don't have infinite resources--only infinite courage, integrity, etc.

More good news: BARANDYWINE could get her Mackinaw reimbursement request processed that very day, in exchange for a mere 10 million isk. This was a great offer. What miner would have a problem with handing over 10 million isk?

Alas, when faced with the prospect of paying 10 million isk, BARANDYWINE went into a rage and terminated the convo. She never spoke to our Agents again.

...At least, not for a while. Some days later, BARANDYWINE invited Kalorned to a convo, demanding a status update on her Mackinaw reimbursement request. Things got rolling again, especially after BARANDYWINE was granted priority treatment--in exchange for a full API.

As part of the investigation of her file, BARANDYWINE's API was put to work. Her old EVEmails were reviewed. Our Agents discovered that BARANDYWINE had a history of picking fights with her fellow miners.

Over time, BARANDYWINE paid 1.1 billion isk in various service fees. The status of her Mackinaw reimbursement request is inconclusive at this time. Nevertheless, our Agents are working night and day to ensure justice is done.

Top Supporters for February 2017

Each month, MinerBumping immortalizes its top isk contributors in a hall of fame post. The "Month's Top Supporters" sidebar will begin showing the current month's supporters in a few days. You can view the August 2012, September, October, November, December, January 2013, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2014, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2015, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2016, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, and January 2017 top 10 lists at the appropriate links.

Here are our top isk contributors for February 2017:

TOP SUPPORTERS
February 2017


#1. Super Perforator
2,555,000,000 isk


#2. Bing Bangboom
2,000,000,000 isk


#3. Alexander Kirenski
1,000,000,000 isk


#3. Black Pedro
1,000,000,000 isk


#5. Royce Catton
500,000,000 isk


#6. Gate Tax Collection Agency
315,000,000 isk


#6. iman360 Gamer
315,000,000 isk


#8. David McCulloch
250,000,000 isk


#9. Prophetess Leroux
200,000,000 isk


#10. Density Xavier
165,000,000 isk
It seems nothing can stop the New Order. This is to be expected, of course, since the CODE always wins, always. Still, it's remarkable to see that truth play out in real time. No wonder so many people are willing to put their isk behind the New Order--it's an obvious winner.

Fraud in the Reimbursement, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Kalorned killed BARANDYWINE SHAWN-NEE's Mackinaw and referred her to Reimbursement Officer Svara Eir. Svara wasn't surprised that the miner wanted free stuff, but she was shocked when BARANDYWINE demanded the reimbursement of a Retriever--which had been killed in 2011 by NPCs.

Thus far, Svara had bent over backwards to help BARANDYWINE. But now she had no choice but to voice her displeasure with the miner's conduct.

BARANDYWINE stuck to her story: The Retriever had been killed when Kalorned called in an artillery strike against the ship.

Next, the miner tried to pull a fast one by linking the Mackinaw lossmail--from a completely different incident. Svara caught it immediately. Miners, don't bother with tricks like this. Nothing gets past an Agent of the New Order.

BARANDYWINE's story was unraveling. She deflected, referring to Kalorned's termination EVEmail.

I guess if you spend enough time AFK, you forget how to use one.

The miner had entered the conversation hoping to get a Retriever loss reimbursed. Now the stakes were much higher.

As Carl Sandburg once said, "If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the law and the facts are against you, pound the table and yell like hell."

BARANDYWINE was a stubborn one. Despite a Retriever lossmail clearly showing her loss was due to NPCs, she simply would not give up.

The miner seemed to be absolutely convinced that the lossmail was wrong and that Kalorned had destroyed the Retriever. Or, possibly, that Kalorned "ordered a strike" carried out by NPCs.

Whatever the reason, BARANDYWINE was confident that if the GMs showed an instant replay of the gank, it would show Kalorned was responsible.

Svara sighed. Trying to reason with BARANDYWINE was like talking to a block of Veldspar.

The miner didn't care about facts, logic, or the Code. BARANDYWINE only cared about isk. She repeatedly demanded money from our Agent.

Unfortunately for BARANDYWINE, she was dealing with a Reimbursement Officer who cared very much about facts, logic, and especially the Code. So far, their argument was a stalemate--but not for long.

To be continued...