Code Ready Gelhan, Part 15

Previously, on MinerBumping... Mission Ready Mining corp always assumed that the New Order's siege of the Gelhan system would eventually end. But as days turned to weeks, they had to consider the unthinkable: What if TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet and his fellow Agents were truly as invincible as they claimed? MRM line member Yanamota Acami was the first to consider this possibility. And it drove her mad.

Yanamota was still coherent--but barely. Would there be anything left of her fragile mind when--if--the siege ended?

The fragments of Yanamota's psyche took refuge in fantasy. She lived in an alternate reality in which MRM was winning the war.

But the cold, hard truth was that the CODE always wins. Always!

TheInternet linked a set of recent kills in local. Yanamota's name was listed among the dead. The harsh reminder was calculated to drag the rebel back into reality.

Bot-aspirants are full of contradictions. Yanamota tried to intimidate our Agent, but in the same breath, she'd dismissed her own loss because she "wasn't a fighter".

Thus far, TheInternet was underwhelmed by the supposed power of MRM and its 2,400+ members. Was there anyone among them who could challenge her?

On occasion, a miner from MRM tried to slip through the blockade. They were all swiftly destroyed. But a curious thing began to happen:

Instead of condemning the New Order for "bullying" miners, some members of MRM blamed those who tried to mine. After all, everyone was under standing orders to remain docked indefinitely.

Agent Georgia B Dixie returned to Gelhan to see that everything was going well.

Viitruvius tried to downplay the suffering of his fellow MRM members. If he intended to make a morale-boosting speech in local, it was aborted by Agent Georgia and her pesky facts.

Viitruvius was forced to abandon his preferred strategy. Now all he could do was appeal to our Agents' sense of fair play and decency. Unfortunately for Viitrivius, fair play and decency demanded further enforcement of the Code.

As the siege continued, Georgia treated MRM to a chilling speech in local. What she didn't yet know was that behind the scenes, MRM members had been begging high command for weeks to do something about the Gelhan situation.

MRM had thousands of members at its disposal. Now, at long last, the cavalry had arrived.

To be continued...

Kills of the Week

EVE is a famously challenging game to learn; it is often said to have a "learning cliff" instead of a learning curve. But the cliff is surprisingly easy to ascend, as long as you start off right. The first step: Obey the Code. Once you've mastered that, the rest is a breeze. Even so, ignorance and bot-aspirancy lead many EVE players into avoidable disasters. From the week of August 27th @ 00:00 EVEtime through September 2nd @ 23:59 EVEtime:

KILLMAIL

You all know of my feelings on mining frigates being used in highsec. Bearsilent went against my express wishes and suffered the usual consequences of doing so. Agents Lisa Tancos and Jacob Tancos barely had to do more than give this mining frigate a stern look to take it down.

This is how you lose more than a quarter billion isk on a mining ship worth 19 million.

KILLMAIL

...And this is how you lose 440 million isk on a mining ship worth 23 million. I guess none of the rebels bothered to tell Tolen Thellere that "isk tanking" with an unlicensed mining barge is impossible when highsec is constantly patrolled by countless Agents. Tolen's bizarre concoction was capped off with a pair of highly illegal ORE Strip Miners. Agent Guybertini knew the protocol: to strip miners of their ORE Strip Miners.

KILLMAIL

This week's theme seems to have been a lot of carebears putting expensive stuff in the flimsiest ships they could find. MAD Monster piloted a destroyer equipped with nothing but fireworks. (So, was this a "ship that can't shoot back"?) Somehow, MAD Monster got the idea to pack up the ship with 1.8 billion isk of cargo and fly it into Uedama. Agents Lisa Tancos and Yumla Cos braved the fireworks and won the battle. Regardless of all the people who say EVE is dying, there's still plenty of elite PvP to be found in this game.

Farcical--like all carebears who disobey the Code.

KILLMAIL

Seaman Tanmens's freighter is a perfect example of premeditated bot-aspirancy: Rather than fitting it with tank modules, or even modules to improve its align time, Seaman chose to increase its top speed. Clearly, he intended to send his freighter through highsec on autopilot. His wicked scheme was thwarted by Agents Collateralized Contracts, Captain Cortar, Tantaria Stavanghar, ClearLove, Perlo Tissant, Urban Worrier, Ren Sano, dAbOsSlAdY77, Jet Set Milly, Ivana Freemam, Pat Makunt, Kon Xanithex, Mark Ormerant, Horace Goes Ganking, Emergent Gameplay, Selina Love, Unfit ForDoody, Padme Love, Yojiro, Basic Black Bitch, Lunar Love, Gea Stormbound, and Bluekiss. A freighter without a mining permit is going nowhere fast--no matter how many overdrives it has equipped.

KILLMAIL

castiel Fera triple-bulkheaded his freighter. So far, so good. But he utterly lacked the foresight to purchase a mining permit and contact an Agent to arrange safe passage through New Order territory. This was incredibly risky; his Providence was worth just shy of 15 billion isk. And what Agents Darnoth, Synamic, Padre Gankero, Amanantian, Padme Love, Panizia, Unfit ForDoody, Basic Black Bitch, Slipstream Prediouca, ClearLove, Matt18002, Mindy Miromme, Bers, dAbOsSlAdY77, Perlo Tissant, Jet Set Milly, Mark Ormerant, Horace Goes Ganking, Kon Xanithex, Urban Worrier, Bluekiss, Selina Love, Sheenah Ash-carrier, Lunar Love, BJBee 686, and Resnar Ash-carrier discovered in the wreckage was even more damning:

Though the freighter carried a lot of stuff, most of its value came from a collection of decadent mining drones. Gross!

KILLMAIL

Drizzd was tooling around in an unlicensed Noctis--a surefire way to be fired upon by our Agents. Sadly, the bot-aspirant was too AFK to escape with his pod, which was worth far more than the ship he lost. As the residents of highsec have become increasingly cautious about using expensive implants, it's more and more difficult to find decadent pods. Agent Alt Proxy was up to the challenge, though.

Ah, another highsec industrialist whose implants betray a long-abandoned dream of specializing in combat. Maybe this lossmail will serve to remind Drizzd of what could've been--and could be still, should he embrace the Code.

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #139

Uh oh, you know what that means... It's time for the latest edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag!

It amazes me how some carebears can be so prejudiced against gankers. BlackNova33 took one look at our Agents and dismissed them.

I don't get why he thinks I'm impersonating Einstein.

A lot of EVE players like to leverage their connections (real or imagined) to various organizations. But there's only one name worth dropping in highsec, and it's James 315.

sruta j insisted that he belonged to a powerful group--one that our Agent didn't want to mess with. But we've heard it all before.

If sruta's alliance was so powerful, why couldn't they protect him from being ganked?

In what has become a recurring storyline in recent Highsec Miner Grab Bags, Izekial Rage thanked Nion Nostro for reporting his attempts to recruit Grab Bag "victims". Izekial was confident this would serve as a boost for his organization. So far, though, he has yet to recruit anyone.

Jang 11 was spoiling for a fight, but then he admitted that he had no money. I guess that means our Agent won the fight?

Miners need to quit the whole "I'm a new player because I just came back after a break" nonsense. We all take breaks from EVE. Besides, miners should be spending that time reading MinerBumping to prepare for their return.

If miners like lowsec so much, why don't they live there?

For a highsec miner, this guy spent an awful lot of his time thinking about lowsec. If only he showed a little interest in the Code.

Dawn Pollux isn't typical; we know that statistically, almost nobody quits EVE due to being ganked. And the people who do leave for that reason aren't the kind of players we want. I'd gladly trade ten thousand Dawn Polluxes for one decent content creator--and I wouldn't be surprised if CCP feels the same.

Over One Trillion Five Hundred Forty-Four Billion in Shares Sold

Let's get down to business.

As you all know, Agent Ben Li aka Zula Terra created a corporation and used it to purchase an unprecedented 315 billion isk worth of shares. The news sent shockwaves across highsec. Many Anti-Gankers are still trembling and babbling senselessly--and some of that is due to the news.

But we in the New Order are used to shattering records and defying the conventional wisdom; that's what it means to be elite EVE players. So let's treat this monumental occasion accordingly.

Ahem:

I'm quitting Eve PV Rock I want to talk with you purchased 315,000 shares of New Order stock. This put us over the 1,227, 1,228, 1,229, 1,230, 1,231, 1,232, 1,233, 1,234, 1,235, 1,236, 1,237, 1,238, 1,239, 1,240, 1,241, 1,242, 1,243, 1,244, 1,245, 1,246, 1,247, 1,248, 1,249, 1,250, 1,251, 1,252, 1,253, 1,254, 1,255, 1,256, 1,257, 1,258, 1,259, 1,260, 1,261, 1,262, 1,263, 1,264, 1,265, 1,266, 1,267, 1,268, 1,269, 1,270, 1,271, 1,272, 1,273, 1,274, 1,275, 1,276, 1,277, 1,278, 1,279, 1,280, 1,281, 1,282, 1,283, 1,284, 1,285, 1,286, 1,287, 1,288, 1,289, 1,290, 1,291, 1,292, 1,293, 1,294, 1,295, 1,296, 1,297, 1,298, 1,299, 1,300, 1,301, 1,302, 1,303, 1,304, 1,305, 1,306, 1,307, 1,308, 1,309, 1,310, 1,311, 1,312, 1,313, 1,314, 1,315, 1,316, 1,317, 1,318, 1,319, 1,320, 1,321, 1,322, 1,323, 1,324, 1,325, 1,326, 1,327, 1,328, 1,329, 1,330, 1,331, 1,332, 1,333, 1,334, 1,335, 1,336, 1,337, 1,338, 1,339, 1,340, 1,341, 1,342, 1,343, 1,344, 1,345, 1,346, 1,347, 1,348, 1,349, 1,350, 1,351, 1,352, 1,353, 1,354, 1,355, 1,356, 1,357, 1,358, 1,359, 1,360, 1,361, 1,362, 1,363, 1,364, 1,365, 1,366, 1,367, 1,368, 1,369, 1,370, 1,371, 1,372, 1,373, 1,374, 1,375, 1,376, 1,377, 1,378, 1,379, 1,380, 1,381, 1,382, 1,383, 1,384, 1,385, 1,386, 1,387, 1,388, 1,389, 1,390, 1,391, 1,392, 1,393, 1,394, 1,395, 1,396, 1,397, 1,398, 1,399, 1,400, 1,401, 1,402, 1,403, 1,404, 1,405, 1,406, 1,407, 1,408, 1,409, 1,410, 1,411, 1,412, 1,413, 1,414, 1,415, 1,416, 1,417, 1,418, 1,419, 1,420, 1,421, 1,422, 1,423, 1,424, 1,425, 1,426, 1,427, 1,428, 1,429, 1,430, 1,431, 1,432, 1,433, 1,434, 1,435, 1,436, 1,437, 1,438, 1,439, 1,440, 1,441, 1,442, 1,443, 1,444, 1,445, 1,446, 1,447, 1,448, 1,449, 1,450, 1,451, 1,452, 1,453, 1,454, 1,455, 1,456, 1,457, 1,458, 1,459, 1,460, 1,461, 1,462, 1,463, 1,464, 1,465, 1,466, 1,467, 1,468, 1,469, 1,470, 1,471, 1,472, 1,473, 1,474, 1,475, 1,476, 1,477, 1,478, 1,479, 1,480, 1,481, 1,482, 1,483, 1,484, 1,485, 1,486, 1,487, 1,488, 1,489, 1,490, 1,491, 1,492, 1,493, 1,494, 1,495, 1,496, 1,497, 1,498, 1,499, 1,500, 1,501, 1,502, 1,503, 1,504, 1,505, 1,506, 1,507, 1,508, 1,509, 1,510, 1,511, 1,512, 1,513, 1,514, 1,515, 1,516, 1,517, 1,518, 1,519, 1,520, 1,521, 1,522, 1,523, 1,524, 1,525, 1,526, 1,527, 1,528, 1,529, 1,530, 1,531, 1,532, 1,533, 1,534, 1,535, 1,536, 1,537, 1,538, 1,539, 1,540, and 1,541 billion isk marks.

That's a lot of billion isk marks.

Unsurprisingly, this purchase made I'm quitting Eve PV Rock I want to talk with you the New Order's #1 ranked shareholder of all time--beating even the Permabanned Heroes of the Code by over 100,000 shares. Want to be in the top ten? Want to be in the top five? It just got a little more difficult. No matter, though; there's always more shares to be purchased.

Since Ben Li wanted to use the purchase as a way to get a message to PV Rock, he made a special request for the purchase to be at the top of the "Top Supporters" sidebar for longer than the usual period (which would end when September's supporters start being featured, a few days from now). Given the special circumstances, I decided to grant that request. However, I soon received word that the request was being retracted, because...

The CODE always wins. Always!

Now here comes the tricky part. What sort of a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ would someone be entitled to upon purchasing 315,000 shares?

We examined a similar problem last year when PV Rock himself purchased 142 billion isk worth of shares, which earned him a Double Unseptuagintuple Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™. Do we use a similar method here, taking the tuple for 105 and tripling it? Do we use three centuples and and a quindecuple and bond them with some kind of Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ unifier?

After considerable reflection, I decided to go in a different direction.

I'm quitting Eve PV Rock I want to talk with you earns a Saviourtuple Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

There. That feels right.

Oh, and a couple other things: Black Pedro's purchase of 1,000 additional shares sent us past the 1,542 billion isk mark, earning him a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™, and Navillus Enaka purchased 2,400 shares, which sent us past the 1,543 and 1,544 billion isk marks and earned her a Double Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

It's hard not to be overshadowed when you purchase stock the same week as the guy who drops 315 billion isk on shares, but our shareholders don't buy stock for the recognition--they do it to save highsec.

One final note. Now, you all know that I am a sensitive soul (although I also possess all of the positive qualities associated with not being a sensitive soul). As a result, I'm keenly aware of the fact that while today is a day of great celebration for the New Order, many bot-aspirant miners and Anti-Gankers are deeply, deeply hurting right now. Their own miserable little piles of isk must seem so meaningless in the face of the New Order's triumph.

To them, I offer a message of hope: Open your hearts to the Code or you'll never experience joy in EVE again.

So that's it. Our shareholders have now spent over 1.5 trillion isk on New Order shares. At the risk of sending the bitter Anti-Gankers over the edge and inspiring another round of huzzahs from the good guys, dare I whisper the words, "two trillion"?

Top Supporters for August 2017

Each month, MinerBumping immortalizes its top isk contributors in a hall of fame post. The "Month's Top Supporters" sidebar will begin showing the current month's supporters in a few days. You can view the August 2012, September, October, November, December, January 2013, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2014, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2015, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2016, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2017, February, March, April, May, June, and July top 10 lists at the appropriate links.

Here are our top isk contributors for August 2017:

TOP SUPPORTERS
August 2017


#1. I'm quitting Eve PV Rock I want to talk with you
315,000,000,000 isk


#2. Ilithyia Borgia
5,000,000,000 isk


#2. The Lawton School for Pubbies Who Can't Mine Good
5,000,000,000 isk


#4. Bing Bangboom
4,000,000,000 isk


#5. Navillus Enaka
2,400,000,000 isk


#6. Black Pedro
1,000,000,000 isk


#6. FromDuskTill
1,000,000,000 isk


#6. Nisanthro
1,000,000,000 isk


#9. Chuck-yan wong
537,000,000 isk


#10. Malon Kreed
315,000,000 isk
As you can see, August was an extraordinary month. New Order investors bet big on the Code, and it's already paying off. There's an important lesson to be learned here: Even when it comes to isk--supposedly the bot-aspirants' specialty--the generosity of the Code beats the greediness of the carebear. Every time.