Unworthy Miner, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Highsec miscreants hired gunman and Thor Argentus Odinssonn of the do-nothing, quasi-NPC Strategic Exploration and Development Corp squealed and raged when they were confronted with evidence of their bot-aspirancy.

Incredibly, Thor toyed with the notion of campaigning to become Saviour of Highsec--about 7 years too late. In any event, he voted* for me.

It was clear that Thor had no ideas; he simply felt like calling everyone else a Nazi. Maybe he was serious about entering politics after all.

Agent Madame Mia observed Thor's treason and instructed the miner to take it down a notch. Committing treason is bad for miners' blood pressure.

hired gunman, Thor's partner in crime, chose not to join in the politicking. But neither did he buy a mining permit.

Since its inception, the New Order has been crystal clear about it not being a cult. Anyone who says otherwise is spreading conspiracy theories, and is therefore unable to bask in the joys and happiness of the Code's light. Too bad for them.

Agent Madame managed to silence the miners by ganking one of their corpmates right in front of them. But this act would not go unanswered forever.

Following the destruction of Thor's 490 million isk Retriever a few days later, Thor placed a bounty on the mighty CODE. alliance. This did nothing but add another 100 million to his cumulative losses.

Thor immediately added another 400 million isk to the bounty. But, angry as he was, even Thor must've realized that his wallet was going in the wrong direction.

...Yet the miner could not contain his rage. As his downward spiral continued, Thor washed out of his corp and started a new one of his own.

The corp description of the newly formed Nebiru Industies [sic] and Exploration contained a lot of "we" and "us" for a one-man corp.

Nevertheless, Thor put enough effort into the corp to create a website for it.

"Effort" may be the wrong word, actually. Thor remains unlicensed and unworthy of highsec.

Unworthy Miner, Part 1

Most people agree that bots do not belong in EVE.

But some carebears side with the bots--and are outraged by the presence of the mighty CODE. alliance instead.

Highsec miner hired gunman became the subject of much controversy when he chose to rebel against the New Order and its Code. Interestingly, though, he also urged our heroes to gank miners in NPC corps. His motives soon became clear.

hired gunman was a spokesman for Strategic Exploration and Development Corp. The corp's brand, it seemed, was to compare itself to an NPC corp.

Just then, fellow corp member and rebel miner Thor Argentus Odinssonn spoke up. And he was a terrible miner indeed.

A few days later, Thor would earn himself a place on a Kills of the Week post with his blingy Retriever loss. Thor was no stranger to forehead-slapping losses--and "AI fleets":

Several days earlier, Thor lost a 2.9 billion isk Orca. Though his fit was admittedly terrible, it takes a lot of firepower to gank an Orca in highsec. Unless...

...Unless the Orca is so AFK that it gets "ganked" by a Triglavian. No wonder Thor had such hatred for NPCs.

In case you were curious:

(I get the same Google result.)

Sensing that the miners needed some perspective, Agent Madame Mia spoke powerfully to the importance of CODE. and its legacy. Would the carebears absorb her wisdom--or would they do the other thing?

The name of James 315 was enough to send Thor over the edge. There was no escaping it: Thor was a bot-aspirant down to his bones.

Our Agents gently reminded the miner to behave. Nevertheless, it is a sad fact that the mere presence of gankers in local can cause some miners to act out in peculiar ways.

Judging from what they'd seen thus far, our heroes had a lot of work to do.

To be continued...

Over One Trillion Eight Hundred Seventy-Nine Billion in Shares Sold

The EVE community at large has long been fascinated by New Order shares. We'll explore an aspect of our share program in a moment, but first comes a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™:

Lyrialtus has been faithfully adding to his holdings of New Order stock for the past several months. This month is no different. With another 1,000 shares to his name, Lyrialtus earns an additional Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ for bringing us past the 1,879 billion isk mark.


BONUS!

Agent Aiko Danuja, in a sudden bout of bonus compassion, decided to help some of her favorite Anti-Gankers:

Though stockholders typically purchase stock in their own name, good citizens occasionally gift some stock to their fellow EVE players.

Interestingly, Kalynn Shardani already had 500 shares to her name--given as a gift by some altruistic fellow some years past.

Now there's something you don't see every day: Shares purchased on behalf of an NPC.

...And a fine NPC indeed!

Agent Aiko went on to purchase some shares for CCP Falcon and ISD Dorrim Barstorlode, but it is here that we meet an unfortunate roadblock.

Back in early 2014, CCP came down with a ruling that prohibited EVE players from suggesting that CCP and/or its staff are affiliated with the New Order. This occurred as a result of a Senior GM misreading a portion of the Code.

Consequently, the shares that Aiko attempted to purchase for Falcon and Dorrim have been automatically transferred to the Permabanned Heroes of the Code--an appropriate resting place, I think.


BONUS BONUS!

This following work of forum art has been attributed to Kaylee Rayl:

Full-size version

And while we're at it, here's a little extra extra:


BONUS BONUS BONUS!

What would it take to get someone to quit a game of Apex Legends--which was being streamed at the time--to go gank something in EVE?

Twitch video

In the case of the Rackner family, it was a 94 billion isk freighter gank. Carebears, take note: That is how you multitask.

Where Are the Parents?, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... An Orca attacked Agent Krig Povelli, who secured the ship and held it for ransom. The Orca pilot blamed everything on his son, claiming that the child had aggressed Krig while he was AFK. As Krig settled the matter, our Agent found himself aggressed by Viln Raurnaught, another Orca pilot--and the parent of another troubled youngster!

Krig Povelli > Viln Raurnaught talk to me, friend
Krig Povelli > This relationship requires communication to work
Viln Raurnaught > sorry I'm dealing with an angry toddler
Krig Povelli > Ah. It happens
Viln Raurnaught > they don't quite have much understanding

It was incredible. Agent Krig was aggressed by two different Orcas in the same ice anomaly, almost at the same time. Both miners blamed their unruly children.

Krig Povelli > So... 315 mil. ISK and a rookieship killmail to save your ship
Krig Povelli > A simple transaction
Viln Raurnaught > a rookie ship kill mail?
Viln Raurnaught > thats a new one

As with the previous Orca, Krig easily subdued it after a short battle. Krig offered to release the Orca without destroying it--for a price.

Krig Povelli > I kill you in a free rookieship instead of your Orca
Krig Povelli > And tell your friend or alt in the Vexor to kindly leave the field
Krig Povelli > Last chance
Viln Raurnaught > sorry, no alts
Krig Povelli > Send the ISK if you want to live

Highsec miners aren't known for their ability to follow instructions--even simple ones. Would Krig be forced to kill a second Orca this day?

Krig Povelli > You are running out of time
Krig Povelli > (and hull)
Viln Raurnaught > yeah sorry, kid is freaking out
Viln Raurnaught > nap time and all
Viln Raurnaught > wait 5 seconds

Despite being given ample time, Viln took no action. Not a good sign.

Viln Raurnaught > and fuck me, this dude dont even have 315
Krig Povelli > Hmm.. How much ISK do you claim to have?
Viln Raurnaught > try that again
Krig Povelli > Alright, got the ISK.
Viln Raurnaught > now we'll see if you are honorable or not

At first, Viln claimed not to have 315 million isk. Then he did. Maybe he transferred it to himself from an alt--but earlier he said he had no alts. What a shady miner!

Krig Povelli > Where is your New Order Mining Permit™?
Krig Povelli > I don't see it in your Bio
Viln Raurnaught > not a clue, was just mining with the corp
Viln Raurnaught > they said come, I came

Agent Krig checked his wallet to confirm that Viln sent him the required 315 million isk (and not .01 isk more or less). As Krig prepared to release the miner, another problem came up.

Viln confessed that he had no mining permit. He said he was in the ice anomaly because his corp had instructed him to participate in a mining op. He was only following orders, in other words.

I wish corp descriptions were more honest.

Krig Povelli > If "the corp" told you to jump off a cliff or murder a puppy, would you do it?
Viln Raurnaught > can I go put my kid down for a nap now?
Krig Povelli > Do you have a permit?
Viln Raurnaught > no, but I have an angry kid
Krig Povelli > He is probably angry for you not getting a permit

Our Agent tried to have an important conversation with the miner about obeying the Code. Once again, though, the miner's child caused a disruption.

In the end, Krig had no choice but to kill another Orca. It wasn't what he'd set out to do, but it was what justice required.

Viln Raurnaught > yup, not honroable
Krig Povelli > I agree. You are not honorable
Krig Povelli > You tried to scam me
Viln Raurnaught > how the fuck did I try to scam you?
Viln Raurnaught > I paid you

The miner paid the price for failing to comply with the Code. He pretended to be surprised about it.

Krig Povelli > You thought you could get away without having a valid New Order Mining Permit™
Viln Raurnaught > you killed me
Viln Raurnaught > so eat a dick
Krig Povelli > Calm down, miner

Agent Krig reflected upon the day's events. He had many deep and profound thoughts about what he'd experienced. In the course of it all, he realized one very important thing: Good parents obey the Code.

Always!

Where Are the Parents?, Part 1

I mean, I did warn you he was back.

Agent Krig Povelli somehow found himself locked in combat with an Orca piloted by Cyrus Farlen. The most peculiar things always seem to happen to Agent Krig.

Krig Povelli > 315 mil. ISK to save your ship
Cyrus Farlen > sure
Krig Povelli > Send me the ISK
Cyrus Farlen > .sorry kiddo agressed

As the battle turned in Krig's favor, the Orca pilot blamed his son for aggressing our Agent's ship. As we've seen, there has been a spate of such child-blaming going on lately.

Krig Povelli > That was only 100 mil.
Cyrus Farlen > rest when you let me go
Krig Povelli > That is not how this works
Krig Povelli > This is a ransom, not a negotiation
Krig Povelli > If you thought otherwise, it is because I am being polite

Despite being given precise instructions on how to save his Orca, Cyrus tried to save a little money with some scammy maneuvering. Krig refused to play along. It was 315 million isk or nothing.

Cyrus Farlen > ok
Cyrus Farlen > can i go now
Krig Povelli > You sent me 300 total
Krig Povelli > I said 315

Incredibly, Cyrus jeopardized the safety of his ship by trying to shave less than 5% off the price. What a greedy little miner!

Krig Povelli > That was 350
Cyrus Farlen > ok
Krig Povelli > Do you know how to follow basic directions?

Karma quickly caught up with the miner, who accidentally overpaid the ransom with his final installment.

As a result, Krig had no choice but to destroy the Orca. "But James 315," you say. "The miner paid more than the ransom. Surely that should qualify as compliance?" Not so. According to long-standing precedent from the pre-Code era, overpaying is considered a failure to pay the amount requested. Look it up, it's all there.

Cyrus Farlen > uhhh kiddo killed me, whatever
Krig Povelli > You should get a permit
Cyrus Farlen > enjoy the ransom and kll.
Krig Povelli > http://www.minerbumping.com/p/the-code.html
Cyrus Farlen > yeah those are fake and i know it

In the aftermath of his Orca's destruction, Cyrus again blamed his son for the whole incident.

Krig Povelli > If you had a permit, I would not have to kill you
Cyrus Farlen > dude im not new, my kiddo got on and agressed you while I was afk
Krig Povelli > You should teach your kid about permits
Krig Povelli > They are the Law
Krig Povelli > Letting kids mine in a PVP game is not good parenting

In truth, Cyrus' own mistakes led to the death of his Orca. It was wrong of him to shift the blame to his "kiddo".

Cyrus Farlen > lol he got on while I was in the bathroom thats life
Krig Povelli > You should be a better parent
Krig Povelli > Teach him the ways of how to play the game properly
Krig Povelli > And get a permit
Cyrus Farlen > thanks for the advice
Krig Povelli > Any time, friend

The New Order Bathroom Protocol exists for a reason, folks.

Krig Povelli > Would you like to purchase a permit now?
Cyrus Farlen > no, im just not going to go afk when my kids around
Krig Povelli > That's nice, but you still need a permit
Cyrus Farlen > uh huh, you should know that hogs collective is running the same racket in this sector, go talk to them
Krig Povelli > They may be running a "racket"
Krig Povelli > But mine is the law

In response to the attack, Cyrus vowed to remain at his keyboard whenever his children were present. So, basically, his kids are Code enforcers.

Cyrus Farlen > yes I know about code for like 2 years now
Krig Povelli > So you admit your guilt! As well as being AFK without docking up. And bad parenting.
Cyrus Farlen > your word is basically crap since i gave you the money and you blew me up anyway
Krig Povelli > You gave me too much
Krig Povelli > I said 315 mil.
Krig Povelli > For James 315

It appeared as though Cyrus was finally beginning to realize that crime didn't pay. But instead of embracing a life of Code-compliance, he grew jaded.

Cyrus Farlen > right
Krig Povelli > Instead you tried to scam me by sending me 350 mil.
Cyrus Farlen > anyway, time for lunch peace out
Cyrus Farlen > gonna take me a month to replace that orca
Krig Povelli > o/ Fly safe, friend!

A silver lining: Cyrus didn't go the dishonourable route of claiming that he had a dozen replacement Orcas ready to go, or that the loss didn't hurt.

Our Agent noted that Cyrus belonged to a corporation with some red flags in the corp description. But there was no time for Krig to dig too deeply into that. Because, in an extraordinary turn of events, he found himself dealing with another criminal Orca pilot. Yes, even as Krig was wrapping up his conversation with Cyrus, a second Orca in the same ice anomaly went hostile!

Krig Povelli > Hi
Krig Povelli > Would you like to save your ship?
Krig Povelli > Well?
Krig Povelli > Viln Raurnaught talk to me, friend
Krig Povelli > This relationship requires communication to work
Viln Raurnaught > sorry I'm dealing with an angry toddler

...And another child goes under the bus!

To be continued...

Kills of the Week

No.

In today's post, we'll see what a real "skilling spree" looks like. From the week of September 29th @ 00:00 EVEtime through October 5th @ 23:59 EVEtime...

KILLMAIL

If Lux Harrison intends to continue playing EVE, he will be forced to learn from the 8.8 billion isk loss handed to him by Agents Votre Dieu, Narl' Amhar, Astrid Tyrfing, and Rungerd. Thus, our Agents have given Lux the opportunity to get some skill or continue to get rekt. What is it with Marshal pilots these days, anyway?

KILLMAIL

There isn't a system in highsec where the AFK jump freighters can hide. While stumbling through a 0.8 security system, NeoSemso was caught by a Talos armada: Agents James Prescott Joule, Wolfgang Ernest Pauli, Jason Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Amandus Olson, Aiko Danuja, Linus Pauling, Werner Karl Heisenberg, DaergaarTWO, Joel Kusion, Louis de Broglie, Erwin Schreodinger, Jayden Kusion, Tim Berners Lee, Justin Kusion, Alleil Pollard, Edwin Powell Hubble, Jake Kusion, Succulent Spodumain, and Homoerotic Finger Painting. Our Agents have limitless firepower, but I'd bet ol' NeoSemso wishes she hadn't anti-tanked her Rhea.

KILLMAIL

The next day, Chika Fujii lost her own blingy freighter in the same system. Why should we be surprised that Chika failed to do her research? She didn't even own a mining permit. And so justice was served up by Agents Amandus Olson, Linus Pauling, Jason Kusion, Wolfgang Ernest Pauli, Jayson Kusion, Edwin Powell Hubble, James Prescott Joule, Aiko Danuja, Louis de Broglie, DaergaarTWO, Justin Kusion, Tim Berners Lee, Werner Karl Heisenberg, Alleil Pollard, Erwin Schreodinger, Jake Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jayden Kusion, and Joel Kusion, who helped themselves to more loot for their Taloses.

"Metamaterials"? Nonsense. The only meta in EVE is the Code.

KILLMAIL

Carebears love to whine and moan about new players, subscription numbers, bullying, griefing, torture--you name it. But show them a ship like Vess Orion's 591 million isk fail-Hulk, and even the noisy carebears cannot speak a word in its defense. Agents Aiko Danuja, Lewak, Kaal Aan, and Alleil Pollard eliminated the fail-Hulk and its billion isk pod.

KILLMAIL

If only ORE mining modules came with an instruction manual for fitting mining ships. Despite flying a Retriever instead of a Hulk, Thor Argentus Odinssonn managed to lose nearly as much as Vess Orion did. Agents Madame Mia and Love Less had a fruitful encounter with the unworthy miner, but that is a tale for another day.

Fine, here's a sneak peek:

Remember when chat had a shorter character limit? It helped interrupt the miners' rants before they reached the "RL death threat" stage.

KILLMAIL

After losing his capacitor-tanked Hulk (how did that happen?), SpiceDragon Y was promptly podded by everyone's favorite Capsule crusher, Agent Aaaarrgg.

Carebears like SpiceDragon aspire to be Ascendancy sets, but deep down, they'll always be a 'Highwall' Mining MX-1003. Only the Code can save them.