Friday, September 26, 2014

Bizarro EVE, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... We took a trip into the rebels' Anti-Ganking channel, a very strange land. A place aptly described by haiku specialist Maria Malukker:

In the Twilight zone:
Antigankers are heroes
and miners are brave



Every so often, a debate breaks out in Anti-Ganking. Ajax Xulthark and Veers Belvar argued about whether there is a silver lining to the New Order's gank operations. Ajax could see the folly in anti-tanked freighters who carry around BPOs.


Veers asserted that it's illegitimate gameplay to deliberately suicide gank a ship when there's no possibility of financial gain. This, he believed, was little different than trolling someone during a Bonus Round.


Ajax agreed that Bonus Rounds are bad. However, he pointed out that players in Anti-Ganking sometimes violate the EULA by using death threats and such. Not all rebels could accept the moral equivalence argument. l3urton, for instance, saw a clear distinction: CODE is bad and anti-CODE is good. Inherently.


This led to a broader discussion about whether gank victims can be expected to behave themselves. Considering their passions, perhaps they should be given a temporary get-out-of-ban free card. Kind of like an aggression timer in reverse, to excuse them of their EULA violations.


In EVE, unlike other video games, combat can result in losing valuable equipment. It's not something a player can be prepared for, argued the rebels.


Only after many years of suffering can a player be expected to learn not to fly blingy fail-fit ships. (This raises the question of who's supposed to provide the suffering, but never mind.) Naturally, it was assumed that "new players" were flying the anti-tanked freighters with BPOs.


Condemnation of the New Order's infamous "Venture-Killing Contest" ensued. But even here, Ajax was able to see the other side of things.


Despite Ajax's points, the rebels held fast to the belief that "new players" should be allowed to advance in their mining careers without the troublesome interference of PvP.


Dazzler Muvila broke into the conversation and won applause: The New Order has arguments on its side and can make some good points, true. But making arguments is only another sign of how evil the New Order really is! The rebellious l3urton had heard enough. He was tired of listening to people complain about the New Order. He would take action.


Action came in the form of a fail-fit ECM stealth bomber. He was unable to stop any ganks, though. Instead, he got ganked himself, by Agent loyalanon.


l3urton also lost his snake-filled pod when loyalanon's Thrasher fired a second volley. l3urton was sent a form EVEmail reminding him to purchase a mining permit as soon as possible.


The Anti-Ganker channel proved to be a bad influence on the impressionable young rebel. (He's been playing EVE for over 6 years. That's a "new player", right?) l3urton filed a petition against loyalanon for "repeated harassment".


Disavowing their own part in radicalizing the anti-ganker, rebels shook their heads. Another defeat for the rebellion. You know, there's a lot of nonsense going on in that channel. Yet I can't help but feel that eventually, somehow, a few of those anti-ganker fellows might learn something from it.

45 comments:

  1. I like to masturbate while screaming the words "game mechanics" and "content". I love masturbating while hiding behind the falsified veil of those two words. someone please pull me chode.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 0/10. At least try dude...

      Delete
    2. 10/10 would laugh again.

      Delete
    3. 0/potato. grrr CODE.

      Delete
  2. That last screen cap was gold.

    The AG community is quick to condemn 'emergent gameplay', it makes me believe they just see Eve as a computer program that is nothing more than an image on a screen that requires a keyboard and mouse to interact with, instead of a game with depth that allows them to take the role of a starship commander faced with the triumphs and dangers of space. Call me crazy but I think the latter is how the developers see Eve which is why they condone something like CODE. Why is that too much for the AG community?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey Veers, If bumping is functionally equivalent to a warp scram and needs concord intervention then you are functionally equivalent to a manic on meth

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love EVE and the core of what the game stands for. That's why I've been dedicated to it and its community for over 11 years now.

    Risk vs Reward is a huge part of that.

    Honestly, if that changed, and the game started to soften out and cater to those who want to have their hand held all the way through their gameplay experience, I'd rather not be working on the project regardless of how many subscribers we had, than sell out the core principles that New Eden was built on.

    That's a sentiment that I hear a lot around the office, because we are all invested in what makes New Eden so compelling - The dark, gritty, hard reality beneath the pretty ships and nebulas.

    EVE is built on the core principle that you are never 100% safe, no matter where you go or what you do. When you interact with another player, you roll the dice on whether they're going to screw you over or not. That's a massive part of the social engineering behind the very basic underpinnings of the EVE Universe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm pretty sure that CCP Falcon would not post on here, so that must be an impersonation. However, he did write that on EVE-O.

      Delete
    2. Isn't it against the EULA to impersonate other people? You should give CCP the IP of the poster...

      Delete
    3. Yeah MB you should be a tattletale. Anyway if Flacon said it that could be considered a quote instead of an impersonation.

      Delete
  5. Veers for emperor!

    For life

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Veers is love.

      Veers is life.

      Delete
  6. I like blowing up anything just for the sheer joy of the explosion. The idea that an gank should be profitable is the epitome of carebearism.

    ~Borgia

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ok Mr 315 the fun is over now. I've just got off the phone to my 3 lawyers and we definitely have a case. You have 48 hours to remove this blog and issue apologies to all players you've ridiculed on this shitblog and the AG community or face legal repercussions. DrysonBennington is most certainly not a man to be messed with. Do NOT test my patience on this Mr 315. (best to obey DrysonBennington - not a man to be messed with)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Help! Loyalanon touched me in my special area!

      Oh wait.....I don't have gonads.

      Delete
    2. This is no joke I have 3 lawyers ready to bring down hell on all of these code monkeys for their part in torture, RL harassment and cyber bullying. Look Veers, you're either with us, or with the terrorists. (Code = ISIS)

      If I want to afk haul 200bill of mods in my freighter through high sec then I should have 100% safety guaranteed. It's called high sec for a reason. Why should I have to sit waiting for a slow ass freighter to travel and manually jump each gate when I should be able to watch a movie and alt tab back when the trip is finished? We demand safety in high sec and we will petition and demand until CCP does the right thing.

      Delete
    3. Now hold on one moment. I am not associated with ANY terrorist organization, virtually generated or real life. I merely stated my lack of Genitals thanks to Loyalanon.

      Now on the issue on hand. I don't think it's fair to compare Code to the InterBus Ship Identification System, as they don't share the same functionality (One is a feature on Eve Online, the other is a group of players advocating killing newbies in starter systems, and allowing those people within their ranks; eg. Just GotOutOfJail).

      Also, when is your URL domain "www.codewillbebannedsoon.com" going to be available? Is this an ISP issue, or is it still under construction?

      Fly AFK,

      Veers Belvar.

      Delete
    4. I think that URL domain will be released the same time as -

      www.ownedbygorilainfrontoftheantigankersandonhisblogandrageloggingbecauseoftheextremerageveersfeelsdailyaboutvalidgamemechanics.com

      Delete
    5. Get over it Dryson..or should I say fake Dryson. You people are ridiculous. 3 lawyers. Pshhh. If you even spoke to a lawyer you would know you don't even have a single shred of a case. This would be an international law issue and there isn't a single international lawyer that would even consider touching it as a case. You have to prove actual damages and/or actual threats that constitute a credible threat to your or your family's personal safety. You have none of this. Crying over lost assets in a game and complaining about "mental distress" after the fact because you were greedy is not a case. Getting killed in a game is not a case. Trolling and scamming someone stupid and greedy enough to give all of their assets away is not a case any attorney would touch. You sound like babies crying over spilled milk. You can not go to Las Vegas, lose all of your money, and then think you can sue the casino because they harassed you or took your money. When you're dumb enough to stick your hand in the fire, you can't blame the fire because you got burned. It has become completely pathetic the lengths people will go to to try to change the whole world to fit their weaknesses. It's really simple, if you don't like the way Eve is run or played, PLAY SOMETHING ELSE. Eve is obviously not for you. Do not try to dictate game play for other players because you are too weak or cowardly to handle the reality that is Eve. Furthermore, if losing assets in a game that is nothing but code and pixels disturbs you that much, I suggest seeking help..you've got some serious issues that go FAR beyond "greifers" in a game. It's sad to say, but I am a female gamer and I have bigger balls than all of you put together. What does that say? Get your lawyers. I'll be the first to say I told you so when you're laughed out of the lawyers office. Play the game, or stfu.

      Delete
    6. I am the real DrysonBennington, new savior of high sec. Kaely KKKakes I am way too much man for you to handle (DrysonBennington is way to much man for you to handle) My 4 lawyers are on the case (it's 4 lawyers now)

      Delete
    7. Dryson, I would say you just commited Real-Life Sexual Harassment.

      Delete
    8. Probably not a good idea to test me, boy. You want to mess with DrysonBennington? (you really want to mess with DrysonBennington?) I will show you real elite endgame extreme deluxe PvP (real PvP) Come at me bro I'm waiting in null sec (0.0)

      Delete
    9. I'm offended by your sexually explicit and sexist remarks...but you know what? I'm a big girl and I'll get over it :) Besides, in my experience, the more a man says he is, the less he tends to really be. XOXO :)

      Delete
    10. DysonRemington seems pretty serious on this, I mean he IS planning to give Kaely Kakes a 17-Incher for a gift.......but enough about computer monitors.

      I really hope CODE is aware and listening to what I have to say, for it will be most shocking,and it is of the utmost importance.

      Are you listening?

      Ready? Ok.








      I don't have a penis.I don't have a penis.I don't have a penis.I don't have a penis.I don't have a penis.I don't have a penis.I don't have a penis.I don't have a penis.I don't have a penis.

      Fly Afk in a pod with criminal status left on,

      Mr. Veldspar.

      Delete
    11. I simply have no words for this thread.

      *giggles*

      To whoever the troll is, good job.

      BM

      Delete
    12. Surely you're joking

      Delete
    13. My 6 (that's six, did I say six? yes I said six, SIX!) lawyers will be no joke, Ms Amyclas. DrysonBennington does not joke around (DrysonBennington never jokes) You think, you really think (that you'd really think?) I'd joke about these serious matters? I am DrysonBennington and I am awesome and righteous as well as a master elite supreme deluxe supersized trippledicked PvP star in Eve. Code is done and James time is up (his time is up)

      PS: I'm telling Jesus on all of you.

      Delete
    14. Hello my son.

      Delete
    15. Checking on law proceedings on this case. Any updates? :D

      Delete
  8. Burton got owned lol!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I got into a new character and went mining in my free venture with 2 free civilian lasers from discarded rookie ships and mined solid pyroxeres until my ore hold was full. I then docked up and sold the ore to whichever buy order was relevant and made 979k isk.

    That was easily enough to buy 3 new ventures and some core skill books with just 1 load. Tell me more newbies about working hard for stuff in highsec.

    ReplyDelete
  10. The code ALWAYS Wins!!!!

    Antiganker tears are the sweetest tears!!!!!

    THE CODE ALWAYS WINS!!!! ALWAYS!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Does AG actually try any AG tactics, or do they just give lectures on the chat channel? It would make the game way more interesting if they actually got some fleets together to try and hunt down the gankers, or started doing some armed escort duties for highsec miners.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They just give lectures on the chat channel.

      Delete
    2. I for one cry on the forums and in local and hope someone notices me

      Delete
    3. Notice me Senpai

      Delete
  12. I like a cold hard rigor mortise dick in my ass in the morning, at noon, and in the evening. My glowing ass gets so hot I need to cool it off somehow. Breeding m&ms didn't help either. Maybe I should open a window and stick my ass through it. Never mind we are in space in a vacuum. The glow will hold the air in the station. Besides, the vacuum should blow all the shit out of it. But if I lose all my shit, I'll just be another flat skin suit just like Wolf Soprano's wife. He blew out the valve and now he has to pump her up constantly so he can use her. But it makes it easier to wash her out when he's done using her.

    Help! What should I do? What should I do?

    I need to cool my ass off. As it stands, I can't even sit down. My ass is so hot that the chair catches fire. I can't even sleep. As soon as I lie down, the mattress starts smoking. There is one good thing about having a glowing ass though. When my agents need me, I just run and jump out the hanger into space. The glow propels me to warp speeds so I can get to my agents. It's pretty quick too. No suiting up. No getting into a pod. No mounting pod into spaceship. I just moon the dockworkers, run, jump, and I'm off.

    Fly Safe.

    James 315.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can never equip a cloaking device to my ass and go stealth though. At 100m³, I'm strapped to it instead of using it as a strap on. My warp speed is so fast, it's beyond light speed. It's beyond ridiculous speed. It's so fast that when I warp, my speed is ludicrous speed. But there is a drawback. When I go at ludicrous speed, my ass length stretches in violation of Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity. As a result, my ass lays tracks of plaid through space. So a cloaking device is useless. Because of my anal emissions, everyone can see where I've been, where I am, and possibly where I am going. Ever since my agents started feeding me corpses, I've learned new tricks with my ass. I have begun to explore what my ass can really do besides being an exit port. I cannot wait to make new anal discoveries over the next few years.

      Maybe I should become a superhero and leave code. They would make movies of me. Maybe I should call myself...the Ass Man.

      Fly Safe.

      James 315, the Ass Man.

      Delete
    2. Ass Sec is worth plowing. Never Forget.

      Delete
    3. I think this entire thread has reached ludicrous speed...

      damn...LOL

      Delete
  13. Everyone start spamming the faggot bumping forums with really long titles!

    ReplyDelete
  14. So the idiocy of the AG channel is exposed to the light and all the comments they can make are weak homophobic trolls. Stay classy white knights, stay classy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel harassed by all the homophobic comments directed against me. CCP Falcon, save me with your mighty banhammer!

      Delete

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