Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Taxing Difficulty

Carebears insist that industrial corporations in highsec need to be exempt from PvP. "Think of the newbies!", they say. "Wardecs are bullying!", they say. Don't listen to the carebears. Listen to me instead. I tell you that these carebear corps are, in fact, a nightmare for new players. They exploit unsuspecting newbies and inflict upon them the worst gameplay experience possible. Only the New Order can save them.


Agent 290Kickstart was browsing the corp advertisements in the recruitment channel. Our hero was on the lookout for corps who entice and abuse the newbies of highsec. He found such an advertisement, issued by Diderot Holding Incorporated:


There's a lot of text, but the relevant bit is this:
"Funding for corporate operations and benefits will be achieved by setting a general tax of no more than 50%."
The CEO of Diderot, Dominic Magnus, promised not to raise the corp tax rate above 50%. How thoughtful! We've seen diabolical newbie-traps like this before, created by such rebels as TDD Dominaters and JTClone Ares. Agent 290Kickstart knew he had to act.


...And act he did. Using undisclosed methods, our hero seized total control of the corporation, liberated its members, and returned corp assets to the rightful owners. The CEO wasn't happy about this.


290Kickstart confronted the villain about his crimes. Though chastened by the loss of his corp and its assets, the CEO remained totally unrepentant.


Dominic created a new corporation, Golden Phoenix Industries Inc., and planned to lure more highsec newbies to a cruel fate.


The corp description was no lie. Check the tax rate. If there was any doubt about Dominic's motives, the tax rate of the new corp is 100.0%. (Or, as Dominic would put it, "The tax rate will be no greater than one hundred percent.")


Look upon corps like Golden Phoenix in horror, but don't forget: These are the corps who demand total safety in highsec. Each day, they beg CCP to nerf wardecs. They claim their only concern is protecting newbies. They'll tell anyone who will listen that they are the corps who get new players to stay in the game, re-subscribe, and get revenues for CCP.

They lie.

The New Order won't let them get away with it. We oppose the carebear corps. Where do you stand?

40 comments:

  1. Wait... he actually got people to join with a 50% tax rate? Hmm...

    Attention Carebears:

    Join Swordmasters of Eden today! As soon as at least someone joins, the tax rate will become no more than 50%. This is necessary to support my CSM election. Giving me your isk is an investment in the crazy sums of isk you'll earn after I win.

    Paying me 50% is actually good for you. Embrace your greed. Greed is good. After I win CSM, you will instantly become multi-billionaires. The first 25 people to sign up I will guarantee you become an isk trillionaire after I win.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol, will I "DOUBLE MY ISK"?

      :)

      Delete
  2. Troll.....And I have no problem with this....Highsecs corps shouldn't exist.

    There exist 2 types of them

    1 - highsec new PvE Corps

    2 - Highsec PvE corps that wardecc and slaughter #1 above.

    So what's the point? Just go NPC or 1-man ftw.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Number 2 sounds like they are on their way .... Go for the NPC Veers, easier to never have a war huh? Tree hugging, ice making eternal bear: Veers. (good slogan for your CSM campaign btw)

      Delete
    2. I have a 1 man corp....I just disband, re-form, and declare 30-1 victory ala james 315....it really pisses off the wardeccer clowns....+1

      Delete
    3. In the end, that's why I play EVE. Because I hate clowns, those painted faces concealing a deep inner core of sadness. How I hate them!

      Delete
    4. stop trying to assume my identity....you aren't even good at it. At least go and try to troll my threads on the Eve forums to get them locked like DJ does. https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=372371&p=2

      Delete
    5. That's a funny request; all my threads on eve-o begin life as trolls.

      Delete
    6. I was defeated by Remiel Pollard, who successfully out-metagamed me and stole my corp name, knowing full well I would roll my corp when wardecced. Well played, Rem. +1.

      Delete
    7. Aww, thanks Veers. Nice to see you owning your own failures for a change. +1 to you too.

      Delete
    8. lolz...impersonate me and then pretend I was talking...lame.....Hope you recovered from the 30-1 spanking I gave you, scrub. Learn to Eve, idiot.

      Delete
    9. Yes please stop impersonating Veers. He is a lawyer and he is better than you. Besides we don't want to lose track of the true Eternal Carebear.

      ~Borgia

      Delete
    10. Technically one can only impersonate a person; I am not a person, but a faceless space lawyer. If I became someone else, that would not be impersonation, but self-improvement.

      Delete
    11. where the hell has butthurt miner got to?

      Delete
    12. "Learn to Eve, idiot."

      Failed impersonation. Notice the limited vocabulary at 2:40 AM.

      Delete
    13. OMG HOW DO WE KNOWW THIS ISN'T THE IMPOSTER>?????

      Delete
    14. merrizon, He is impersonating Veers.

      Delete
    15. Poe's Law. I can't tell the real Veers from the caricatures of Veers anymore.

      Delete
    16. then my work is done

      Delete
    17. uh oh better grab my tin foil hat

      Delete
  3. Well done Agent 290Kickstart!

    As my friends from across the pond might say 'you socked it to him but good'.

    Excellent.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well done agent 290! I've never personally known a single newbie who quit EvE (I've known a few who raged a bit, though) over normal PvP mechanics, but I have lost count of the number of awesome people I have seen quit over the very thing you are fighting - shit CEO's who have no understanding of game mechanics and herd a bunch of newblet together simply to give them awful advice and tax the hell out of them.

    Not that I think such behavior should not be allowed, of course - it's a fine example of emergent gameplay. But the New Order taking time to hunt down these abusers and bring them to justice is a good thing, and I've seen it work as quite a PR win for us in the past.

    tl;dr GREAT job man!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awesome. It's good to see the removal of another corp that exploits new players like that. Good work!! :)

      Delete
    2. CODE also exploits new players in an obvious way, but we never see them own up to their frequent mistakes and failures. Only "win" situations where they claim to succeed by giving up.

      Delete
    3. Veers' Life Lesson One:
      Worse: Be awesome all the time
      Better: Never try

      Delete
    4. I apologize for my post at 2:08 PM which lacked any kind of proof or argument, just tiresome repetition of scurrilous lies. I was drunk and shitposted.

      Delete
  5. Here an idea! Let's abuse newbros then sell all our shares to a random dude! That won't end badly!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I want to tell something to "la resistance" : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlvjjcxY224

    ReplyDelete
  7. "The tax rate will be no greater than one hundred percent."

    LOOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOOL as in Laughing Obnoxiously Out Loud?

      Delete
  8. "Newbie-friendly corps"
    The parasites of Highsec
    Cleanse them with fire

    ReplyDelete
  9. My corp is newbie friendly with its 1% tax and all mind you in was formed by one of my real-life friends to avoid paying the 11% NPC corp tax. Its seems strange that any newbie (as I am one still right now) would fall for a exorbitant tax rate like that when the NPC corp they start in taxes only 11% :/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But kudos to the corporate sabotage, that's awesome and hilarious

      Delete
  10. People of the New Order, my router is fixed and I shall be coming to join you soon. my only problem is re-activating my account. I could pay like normal and jump back in after that clears, but it would be easier if someone could donate 30 days to me with the new thing they added to plex. I'll pay whoever it is back ASAP

    Jamie Risalo
    (Soon-to-be) New Order Agent
    Carebear Outreach Division

    ReplyDelete
  11. "...but it would be easier if someone could donate 30 days to me with the new thing they added to plex."

    What is this?!? A new scam? Nice try idiot :D

    ReplyDelete
  12. from eve-o
    "To the extent that I could no longer avoid wars in my 1 man corp I would just drop to NPC corps and consider the 11% tax rate the cost of doing business"
    Veers, your balls are made of pussy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not interested in fighting wars. I find PvP kind of boring. PvE is a lot more fun.

      Delete
    2. "Veers, your balls are made of pussy."

      Err.. what does that even mean? :D

      Delete
    3. It means she's coming on to you.

      Delete
    4. my guess is cocain

      Delete

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