Monday, September 22, 2014

Sam I Am

Carebears love their untanked, max-yield mining fits. Since the New Order began ganking them, bot-aspirants have struggled to find something that works. The answer is staring them right in the face: A mining permit! The most stubborn of the carebears are still experimenting with strange and unnatural configurations for their mining ships.


Take, for example, Sam Violence's power-armor fit. Iron Man he ain't. Sam went up in a plume of smoke during his fight with Agent Guybertini.


Guybertini won the war, so now it was time to win the peace. To prevent Sam from returning to his evil ways, our Agent threw him a lifeline and offered to help modernize Sam's mining operations. If Sam had a source of legitimate income, he wouldn't be as tempted to engage in illegal activity. Now that's a forward-thinking approach!


Alas, the miner still had sentimental attachments to his old way of life.


Sam was just another random highsec miner. You know what that means: Promises of extraordinary revenge to be visited upon the New Order. The end would come Quickly™. (It's like Soon™, but much later.) Guybertini couldn't help but express his skepticism. So Sam sent another EVEmail:


At last, Sam contributed something unique to the EVE community. There aren't many carebears who come with their own catchphrase. Sam promised that I would receive "a thousandfold" destruction. If I'm credited with all the kills made in the name of the Code, does that mean I'm going to lose quadrillions of isk? My wallet would go so negative.


Guybertini hoped to reach an accommodation with Sam by taking an interest in the things Sam was interested in.


DE stands for Delaware. Cowards Order Delaware. But seriously, we all know what CODE stands for: Peace, order, honour, dignity, civilization, compassion, honour, emergent gameplay, structure, leadership, honour... Need I go on?

Sam wasn't prepared to buy a permit yet. No problem. Because when all is said and done, we are the New Order and we will be here.

75 comments:

  1. Beautiful, just beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am moved.
    Truly moved.

    Without James 315 my life would be empty. Oh please let us hope that Sam I Am buys a permit... please! o7

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You life is already empty. James 315 doesn't fulfill people's lives, he destroys them. He brainwashes people into becoming fanatics for his false cause, just like those Islamic terrorist groups such as Al Qaeda and ISIS who murder innocent people.

      Beware the CODE: They have made CONCORD's B.E.A.R. list for multiple and egregious violations of the C.A.R.E act.

      Delete
    2. Can I do the bonus room ?

      Delete
    3. Only as long as you target code agents.

      Delete
    4. Nice try James 315 at 6:34 AM. He's filling the bingo squares to make his opposition look retarded. The joke is old and getting cold.

      Delete
  3. yes we all know CODE stands for Chicken Out, Deny EVERYTHING.
    o/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Come Oswald, Diet Extreme

      because he should have lost weight rather than shot a US President in the head...

      Delete
    2. Says the guy who cant stay in a corp as soon as its wardecced.

      Delete
    3. Courtesy - Omnipotence - Duty - Excellence

      ~Borgia

      Delete
    4. And here we have the Cowards of CODE. Go back to Kino and play with your tentacle monster. Oh wait, you moved him.

      The Cowards of CODE: Contaminating stations wherever they dock up at.

      Delete
  4. He is Sam! And here!
    Unenlightened, with no Code...
    at least he's present

    ReplyDelete
  5. A retreiver is a "valuable mining ship?" Hyperbole much? Someone gave me 4 billion isk today - now that is valuable. https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=372423&p=67

    DJ Banned - Veers rich. Now there is justice.

    Veers always wins \o/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Veers always wins \o/"

      ROFLMAO

      Delete
    2. As usual, can't tell if Veers or not. Too silly to be real, except it's Veers, and his farts just smell soooo good to him. Just in case it really is our dear Veers:

      "I get what I want,
      and those I dislike get banned.
      This is justice." - Veers

      Delete
    3. People who deserve it got banned. That is justice. *cough* DJ *cough*

      Delete
    4. Justice was watching Gorilla gag you in AG today.

      How bad is it when the Eternal Carebear is told to STFU by his own people!

      After Gorilla dispensed justice came lols when you logged out about ten minutes later. The prima donna without a stage left in a snit.

      Delete
    5. was pretty epic watching gorila tell you whats up though veers.

      I have to admit, I dont like CODE, however listening to you is worse.

      Gorila for CSM!!!!

      Delete
    6. Well Gorilla is entitled to do what he likes, obviously I disagree with him, and since I do not engage with censors, am not likely to have future dealings with him.

      I think my points remain valid - specifically:

      1. The current set up of AG is ineffective. By embracing PvP they are validating CODE, and the lack the means to actually harm the CODE griefers.

      2. CODE's main successes stem from abuse of bumping and lack of consequences for -10 sec status. The proper course is to raise these issues on the Eve Forums and get CCP to change course.

      3. The CODE folks are not legitimate roleplayers. They are seriously disturbed individuals with sociopathic tendencies who use Eve to emotionally abuse vulnerable people. People like DJ, Loyalanon, and James 315 are vile and pathetic representations of humanity, and should be promptly banned from the game.

      4. The trolling attempts by butthurt miner, etc... are poorly written, and serve mostly as amusement for CODE, and certainly do it no harm. My proper and repeated pointing out of their sociopathic tendencies, on the other hand, causes great consternation in the ranks.

      So obviously I feel that I am right, and Gorilla is wrong, and will leave it at that.

      Delete
    7. Ok, I think this warrants a response. Not sure if this is really Veers or not though.

      I do not agree with #1 because of this. By shooting at code members, they are preventing ganks.

      I partially agree with #2. The only reason why there are lack of consequences for -10.0 security status is because people won't enforce the consequences. CCP can do only so much before they break the game for everyone else.

      I wholeheartetly agree with #3.

      As for #4, well I guess you haven't been reading Gorila's blog lately...especially in the comments section. There's a number of pissed off comments there...especially the one about me.

      I have exposed James 315's extreme perversion. He eats corpses (cannibalism) to fuel his glowing ass which causes his agents to kiss his ass on any occasion. If he doesn't get at least three corpses each day, his glowing ass turns into a black hole which sucks out the contents of the agents balls through their dicks at distance. I accidentally intercepted one of those streams with my highsec mining yield fit rorqual. Good thing the station docking fee covers the shipwash. That was a mess to clean up all those trusses.

      I also exposed the fact that the code agents love, and I mean REALLY love their tentacle monster. When they gather for operations in systems like Uedama, Aufay, or Isanimo, they transport the thing in a triple anti-tanked freighter to the station. They play with it while they are waiting for their timers to run out after a gank. It's also why those stations had to be quarrenteend. That thing is messy when it orgasms. It's reproductive fluid sprays everyone and everywhere. At least those tentacles that are not inserted into agents.

      This is another quality trollific post from your friends at Carebears United.

      We are many. We are strong. The code is falling. The code is failing. A code free highsec is not too much farther away. Saving highsec from the savior of highsec, one carebear at a time.

      Delete
    8. "Forum warrioring!
      The best way to play this game
      Is to bitch, not play."

      Delete
    9. I'd LOVE to be at a party with Butthurt & Veers in the same room. My God! The LOL's would be priceless!

      Delete
    10. Not really.....I would think that both of us agree that CODE is a despicable organization full of miserable people who use Eve to distract themselves from their troubled lives. And I doubt that either of us is shedding a tear for DJ or Jerry Rin, who have now been banned forever from the game.

      Delete
    11. And Veers... #3. That is quite the blanket statement you are making. Please prove it. You don't know me, we have never met, nor will we. Your statement therefore is full of crap. Just like you.

      The only thing that is true around here is your love of the soapbox, your need to be relevant. YOU want to be James 315. You want the attention. You want to be the man.

      Your problem is that it will never happen. No one takes your seriously. This blog, the AG community (yes I saw that banning yesterday by GV), the EVE forums... you have no one agreeing with you.

      Now we all know you will twist this, go into denial, insult, and just be a obstinate ass... and that's fine. I expect it. In fact if you went the other way I'd most like would drop dead from heart failure.

      So keep on trying to hand out the tinfoil hats Veers! And please don't stop with your rhetoric ... you may not be relevant, you may be completely full of it, but you are entertaining! And for that, I thank you.

      Cheers!

      Delete
    12. Fun fact: Veers mentions DJ and how much he misses him in literally every second comment he makes. It'd be touching, if his love were requited. As it is...leans a little toward the tragic.

      Delete
    13. Col....I don't need to know you or the rest of your buddies. Your actions speak louder than your words, as do the multiple CCP bans of CODE members.

      As far as Gorilla, he was insulted after I outdebated him. I pointed out that the current setup of AG validates CODE, and treats it as a legitimate roleplaying group instead of as a group of sociopaths.

      And apparently CCP takes me seriously enough to keep on banning CODEbros - like DJ.

      Delete
    14. "If something happens
      It is because I exist!
      .....I miss DJ" - Veers

      Delete
    15. And there he goes again folks! The great man himself. CCP just trips over themselves to do his bidding. LOL!

      I am curious Veers, what actions? Did I piss in your corn flakes this morning?

      Delete
    16. "As far as Gorilla, he was insulted after I outdebated him. I pointed out that the current setup of AG validates CODE, and treats it as a legitimate roleplaying group instead of as a group of sociopaths."

      I was watching the argument and that is a flat-out lie. You are a liar (a trait of sociopaths BTW). You cannot win on the merits of your case - so you lie.

      Gorilla gagged you because (as always) all you did was repeat the same nonsense over and over: "Change the rules because I don't like them." Oh, and a healthy dose of the usual "It's all about meeeeeeee!"

      You out-debated no one. Your positions were roundly rejected by a group of people who hate CODE and hate ganking. Your skills at argumentation are so poor that an audience of players who essentially agree with you booed you off the stage.

      Let me say this again - You are a liar.

      Delete
    17. Seriously The Real VeersSeptember 23, 2014 at 5:35 PM

      You misspelled "lawyer"...you idiot.

      mmm my farts smell good

      Delete
    18. Anon - you are a joke. I merely pointed out how CODE abuses bumping and that there is a lack of consequences for -10 sec status. Turns out that just like CODE likes to gank, some folks in AG, perhaps CODE alts, like to play white knight and try to step ganks. Completely ignoring the fact that such legitimizes the gameplay of CODE, and ignores the fact that they aren't ganking to achieve things in the game, rather they are ganking to effect emotional abuse of their victims, and play out their sociopathic tendencies. That's why I refuse to play white knight - because doing so is in fact a victory for CODE.

      But keep up the absurd lies anon, it suits you well - always the court jester.

      Delete
    19. How do you know Veers is lying - he is typing.

      Delete
    20. "You're an alt!", said Veers
      "And you...and you...oh my God,
      everyone's an alt!"

      Delete
    21. Well I have been accused of being an alt of James315, among others.

      Delete
    22. More delusions of grandeur...

      Delete
    23. Ok Veers, realtalk for a second.

      Let's say you're right. Let's say everyone who likes to pvp in a pvp-centric game is in fact a sociopath. We're all sociopaths here, and all this ganking is how we get our jollies so we don't go out and, I dunno, murder children or whatever it is you think we all want to do. Isn't it a good thing then that we have a game where we can all play together, be happy, and express our deepest, darkest urges for blowing up imaginary spaceships, so we don't go out and commit those atrocities we so, so clearly want to commit?

      There are dozens of multiplayer games where you could be safe from us mean, evil pvpers. Literally, dozens of MMOs alone, not to mention all the non-multiplayer games where you could be safe from us. Games like eve....there's just eve. If this game becomes another WoW clone, we don't have anywhere else left to play and express our inherent psychotic evil (or whatever), and we'll be forced to go around tossing children off bridges (or whatever).

      So let's pretend that you're actually relevant in the way you want to think you are. Let's pretend CCP actually cares what you have to say, and that the recent bans were brought about because they liked the specific flavor of your forum tears. How is that an ok thing for you to do? You're unleashing us and all our malicious, sociopathic evil into the world! Don't you feel any sense of civic responsibility?

      Delete
    24. Stop conflating suicide ganking to effect emotional distress with "PvP." I support suicide ganking. I support PvP, even nonconsensual PvP in highsec. I oppose using suicide ganking in Eve to intentionally emotionally harm people.

      Delete
    25. Wait. So those members of the AG community that disagree with Veers must be Code alts? Given that everyone in that channel disagreed with him this means we have conquered AG! CODE wins again!

      Gorrila were you aware you are now a Code alt?

      This could be a great story for the blog. "The Spai Who Came in for The Code"

      Delete
    26. Please. Who do you think you fool with that? We go over and *over* our motivations for ganking in this blog. We're ganking to change the game's culture, to improve highsec society, and ultimately to save eve and CCP from themselves. Maybe that kind of stock phrase ("CODE. are all griefers!") goes over well in the forums where you do daily battle (against the forces of objective evil, no less), but they don't have any traction here.

      But I digress:

      "So let's pretend that you're actually relevant in the way you want to think you are. Let's pretend CCP actually cares what you have to say, and that the recent bans were brought about because they liked the specific flavor of your forum tears. How is that an ok thing for you to do? You're unleashing us and all our malicious, sociopathic evil into the world! Don't you feel any sense of civic responsibility?"

      Delete
    27. busy running incursions...will respond later

      Delete
    28. Sure, twelve clicks an hour
      You're too busy to respond
      but you'll keep sperging

      Delete
    29. Tell ya what Veers, when you do more than talk in game, I might think about listening to what you have to say.

      Delete
  6. Greetings young ones! All cum to me pleease, the glorious james 315! i request your children in the name of god!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sadsad

      everyone knows that the saviour does not post under the name james 315.
      verysad

      Delete
    2. Meh.. it's just Butthurt Miner trolling again. Sometimes he's on a roll and does a good one, but not today. -1 for not making me laugh.

      Bad Butthurt! Bad!

      Delete
    3. Nope. It wasn't me. Try again. Hilarious though that when someone does that, I wrongfully get the credit for it. I'm pretty sure it was Dick Job Enthrobber having an identity crisis or Loyalamoron getting ready to run away with his alt's tail between his legs.

      Delete
    4. Not according to GV. Was lurking in the AG chat and saw him bragging about his boy and his shenanigans. It was you.

      Delete
    5. I only did impersonations three times. One of E1, one of James 315, and one of DJ Entropy. Those were more than a month ago. What you fail to realize is that I am not the only troll on here. In fact, I don't even know who the other trolls are on here. I'll admit though, they are hilarious.

      Delete
  7. If you are minding your own business in EVE and expect to remain safe then don't activate the undock button.

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    Replies
    1. WE SHOULD PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE ELSE AND POST IN ALL CAPS!

      Delete
  8. It seems the poor miners have found one thing they can do about Order's glorious march. No, not HTFU or buy the permits. It's the comment spamming they see as their last stand, their ultimate weapon.

    You guys are REALLY desperate aren't you?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No sooner than you stop impersonating James 315 (poorly)

      Delete
  9. Sooooo if something happens to a "miner" its tears being collected. BUT when something happens to you, its simple a violation of human rights. RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT

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    Replies
    1. Actually, I have declared CODE as a terrorist group under CONCORD's C.A.R.E. act. They have been subsequently placed on the B.E.A.R. list. So they are open targets in highsec no matter their security status. You can shoot at them with impunity and they have to take it. And they do take it...in the ass. Just look at this and this. It's a far cry from James 315's glowing ass which as passed beyond the visible range. I'll bet that even his turds glow.

      This is another quality trollific post from your friends at Carebears United.

      We are many. We are strong. The code is falling. The code is failing. A code free highsec is not too much farther away. Saving highsec from the savior of highsec, one carebear at a time.

      Delete
    2. he posted goatse link, do not click

      Delete
    3. I'm demonstrating the scientific anomaly of the ass of James 315 turning into a black hole when he doesn't eat the corpses of the residents of New Eden. Are you against scientific discovery and advancement?

      Delete
  10. Wow, we got some typical highsec miners here tonight. They are internet spaceships. Get over yourself! Buy a permit or move to null!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How about I pass on the permit, they are worthless anyway, and I remain in Highsec and mine all I want...you code monkeys have yet to destroy one of my ships...you guys are no more than a bunch of gangsters....

      Delete
  11. I like crab cakes because they taste like my boy friends penis.

    They taste like my boy friends penis.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I thought it came down to the bad ceo's who encouraged people to go afk mining and running missions but these people wouldn't risk losing a ship if it was free and came with a 200% ISK refund.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Just remember you're all on the RL Harassment Offenders Register here at the Ripard Teg Foundation - this harassment of a good upstanding hi sec citizen will not go unpunished.

    Enjoy the next wave of bans and save some basement tears for me.

    Veers always wins \o/

    CHODE always fails

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh I bet I'm on quite a few harassment lists.

      Delete
  14. Code wins because idiots take the time to try and troll their blog constantly. What's it like to wake up thinking of the new order?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i know right? they claim the code are failing and useless and blah blah blah... But the fact is they're here every post desperately trying to prove their own view points. If they were winning so confidently as they claim they wouldn't need to

      Delete
  15. Code always fails. I'll duel any of you code girls, message me in game bitches so I can collect your corpse and tears before the next ban wave hits you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "I demand a duel!",
      said the anonymous bear
      Sure you do, tough guy

      Delete
    2. Agree with Maria - duel requests are lame. When I was in the minerbumping channel all the CODE trolls demanded duels with me. You gotta earn the right to challenge someone 1v1....it's not some kind of privilege.

      Delete
  16. Wonderful read, thanks for the great post ;) Made my morning :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just come here when I need a laugh. At least these terrorists are good for that.

      Delete
  17. So much hatred and anger from the Carebears... we must be doing something right!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! It's the only reason I come here daily!

      If it were not for the extreme hate, butthurt, and stupidity tossed about, I would never had made a ganker alt.

      You have to wonder though... what if CODE did go away and there was no more ganking? What would these people do? Who would they turn their rage against?
      Would they just shut down and become mindless drones... sitting at their keyboards, drool running from their mouths?

      I think they should thank us. We give meaning to their lives and game play. Such an ungrateful bunch.

      Delete
    2. Personally I have no problem with ganking, I'm a big fan of miniluv. what I do oppose, and what got DJ banned, is using ganking for the purpose of intentionally inflicting emotional distress on the victims. And that I would like to see eradicated.

      Delete
    3. colonel faklen, you literally just described CODE.

      Delete
  18. Well Veers, I have never caused anyone emotional distress in this game. That's not why I am here. If I do, then I guess I will get my ass banned, and rightfully so. But since I have not been banned, I guess I'm not (according to CCP) the sociopath you claim me to be. Sorry about that, but I guess I'm here for awhile... no easy outs for you pal.

    I have blown up ships though... not many (I'm young), but I'm working at it. Why? Why not? It's a game. A big wonderful sandbox! Remember kiddies.. rule #1 Never undock in anything you can't afford to replace. Period. If you can't live by that rule, then I suggest another career path may be the ticket. Start trading, knit sweaters, whatever.

    ReplyDelete

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