Thursday, September 4, 2014

The Soiled Soldier

Who doesn't love hearing reports of New Order victories? As the Father of the New Order and Saviour of Highsec, many Agents send their reports directly to me. On occasion, I get reports of New Order victories from a different source: the rebel miners themselves.


My inbox is filled with EVEmails like this one from Awol Soilder. Every time a carebear says "I would've paid!", an Agent gets his wings.


Or her wings, as the case may be. The complaint about "tisi" could refer to no one but Tisiphone Dira, a strong, powerful Agent. She ganked and podded Awol Soilder for the crime of AFK mining in a Hek asteroid belt.


Awol Soilder accepted Tisiphone's post-gank convo request, but it was obvious his heart wasn't in it. He didn't really want to chat, I think.


The miner had no one to blame. He'd set himself up for failure from the moment he chose his character name. Awol Soilder spent the entirety of his year in EVE mining in highsec.


To Tisiphone's surprise, the carebear had a novel excuse for being AFK: Evelopedia is a part of EVE. This is a dangerous notion. If it catches on, the well-meaning website could lead countless miners to ruin! Until the New Order gets a page in Evelopedia, it cannot be considered a true part of EVE. All other EVE-related resources--the official forums, news websites, blogs, etc.--have the New Order everywhere. We're as relevant as it gets.


Tisiphone recommended Awol write a petition to me. Apparently that's why I received the EVEmail. Although, as a petition, it wasn't as respectful and well-written as one would hope. Meanwhile, Awol Soilder invited Force40 Force, his corpmate, to the convo.


Force40 served as Awol's "wingman" for the convo. Unfortunately, everything he knew about being a wingman, he learned from highsec mining.


If Force40 had been a true friend, he would've helped Awol purchase a permit. Instead, he only cluttered the convo with nonsense. As you might have guessed, there's little culture to be found in the Hek mining scene.


With his confidence boosted by his wingman, Awol Soilder pulled the "I have 6 other identical ships anyway" line. And Force40 came up with his own excuse for Awol Soilder's AFK mining habits. Unfortunately, Awol had already gone with the "Evelopedia" alibi.


The carebears' web of lies came crashing down in front of their eyes. Only the Agent of the New Order remained, standing tall and true amidst the wreckage.


It was then that Awol and his buddy came up with a dastardly plan to trap Tisiphone. They brought their Capsules into the asteroid belt where CONCORD was still on patrol, and they dared Tisiphone to pod them. Awol warned two local miners, who were also in the belt.


One of the two miners, Alexis Smythe, was a member of a New Order loyalist corporation. Alexis immediately relayed news of CONCORD's presence to Agent Tisiphone. (Eyes and ears everywhere!) Awol and Force40 continued their taunts in local, believing themselves totally safe.


But safety is to be found only in the Code. Using Alexis as a warp-in, Tisiphone landed next to the pods. Her guns divided into two groups, she killed both pods in a single burst of fire, right under CONCORD's nose. It was glorious. Tisiphone was victorious. And the Code gained much acclaim that day, as every other day!

81 comments:

  1. First Veers, best Veers!

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  2. Camping a belt in pods and taunting suicide gankers; what could possibly go wrong :D

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  3. Veers Veers Veers

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  4. Well done Tisiphone Dira and Alexis Smythe!

    A fine example of teamwork; a crushing blow to two mouthy carebears.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Sasha, and everybody else, for your kind words

      And yes E1, their corp does seem rather, rebellious. Also, I have spotted these two getting into contact with other non-compliants, plotting against the new order. Somehow though I get the feeling that we are quite safe from the machinations of these two particular rebels.

      Delete
  5. Two blokes fooling around in pods.

    Dangerous behaviour like that gets people killed.

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  6. Wow, CODE killed some helpless noob miners who can't shoot back. This day should be a national holiday, +1,000,000

    Can the next blog post be about CODE agents rescuing the cat who got stuck in the tree?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, I am sorry. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed again and am going to loudly argue with myself for the next twelve hours.

      Delete
    2. Veers-
      I sense a lot of hostility from you. Remember the immortal words of Yoda "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, suffering leads to epic tear threads."

      In all seriousness, what are you afraid of brother?

      The game is the game, it's mechanics are deemed balanced by the creators and it can't be changed, but the game can be replaced by the player. You can change how you play or you can play something else.

      James 315, praise be his name, is in his rights to claim all of HighSec as his territory and use his followers to enforce it, and make just laws for his people to obey or not to at their own peril.

      Just like the carebears are free to unite together behind a single flag and fight back in an organized fashion. I'm just saying it's a sandbox, anything could happen.

      But the fact of the matter is that Code is expanding rapidly, nothing will stop us. We are immortal and unstoppable. So you, and the rest of HighSec, have 5 options:

      1. You can get a permit and follow the Code and run incursions/mine/mission run/wage corporate wars/transport goods in HighSec in peace.

      2. You can join us: read the Code, learn the deeper meaning and help us spread the word. My monastic order is recruiting just for this purpose and would welcome you after your repentance and baptism.

      3. You can join the chaotic, the fearful, the angry, and the hate-filled in the anti-ganking movement.(They remind me of refugees fleeing an approaching army. "What can we do?" "Let's get organized!" "Who's in charge here?")

      4. You can move to NullSec or Wormhole Space; Outer Darkness is the ultimate fate of all the rebels and where the final battle will take place, the one fortold of in prophecy,

      5. or the last option which is... Quit EVE.

      What other choices are there? I hope you choose to join us in this just cause: to fight in the name of the Lion of HighSec, James 315.

      Brother Roland

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    3. The mechanics can be changed. It's up to CCP, not the player.

      How about (6) Continue to mock CODE for the failed incursion gank campaign, loss and permaban in the alliance tournament, and general lack of intelligence. Call out their attempts to commit real life humiliation/harassment, and advocate for change on the Eve Forums, all the while being unaffected by CODE because they prefer to shoot at ships that don't shoot back?

      Brother Veers

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    4. I like the attention

      Delete
    5. Very well said, Brother Roland. James 315 has truly given you the gift of oratory. Alas, not all carebears may be saved. Do not let it discourage you, and always remember: our Lord James 315 sees and approves of all you do in His name.

      Sister Maria

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    6. Just like he approved of the erotica1 "bonus room"....oops....

      Delete
    7. I think Veers is just jealous & has a need to post contrarian commentary about absolutely everything to make himself feel good. Funny, but also kinda sad really.

      The Code, repeatedly wins. \o/

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    8. Well, it's either that or he's chilling in Providence, which may in fact be more bot-aspirant then high-sec mining :P

      Delete
    9. than, and the dead goons weren't in provi, bro.

      Delete
    10. And to anonymous blog oster at 8:54 pm afraid to post with his main - To recap, I did not engage with CODE, they engaged with me. Since that point, and because they demand that I comply with their failed ideology, I have been forced to repeatedly highlight their significant shortcomings ("winning" the AT, incursion ganking, poor grammar, game exploits, emotional abuse, etc...). That ain't no victory for the Code.

      Delete
    11. Sounds like you are actually going with option 3. You never did answer my question by the way, so let me take a stab at it. You are afraid the Code is going to ruin incursions for you. If you think that, it is simply not true.

      Get a permit, follow our Savior's Code, enjoy the game. It is the plan of happiness in EVE. 10 mil is a small tithe to pay, but the rewards are far greater! You just need a mustard seed of faith to make that first step.

      Delete
    12. No, I'm not going to waste my time fighting the CODE when I think they are exploiting game mechanics to give them an unrealistic and unfair edge. So 3 is inapposite. I'm not afraid the Code is going to ruin incursions - the incursion threats were always a joke. I am kind of disappointed at just how pathetic the efforts to gank incursion runners have been. They are so poor that even when I was offered a permit, for free!, I felt compelled to decline it. And bro, I lead the resistance, a permit (which I don't want), would run me 30 mil. And give my stature, 30 bil would be more appropriate.

      Delete
    13. It's unfair. James 315 conceived, founded and leads the most important player organization in the game and I whine a lot; we both do stuff. Clearly, I deserve to be mentioned in the same breath with the Savior of Highsec. Everybody should take my opinions seriously.

      I'm Beers Veldspar and I approve this message.

      Delete
    14. Erotica 1 is a martyr for the sandbox. The drama around her ban generated significant funds for ganking miners and haulers. It also served as inspiration for more New Order fans to start ganking. Ask Ripard Teg how he's coming along on those reimbursement requests. Ripard may have gotten Ero banned. But Ero's fans made Ripard quit. Think about that for a moment.

      Delete
    15. Ripard Teg quit? Stop getting your information from ze Goons.

      https://zkillboard.com/character/626711141/

      Delete
    16. http://jestertrek.blogspot.com/2014/05/no-tank-lasts-forever.html

      He did. He quit Eve for awhile and took his blog down. Alot of his friends were mad at him for being a prick. I wish I would have recorded corp comms when he was blathering on about it. He's come back but he's a mess. I wish he'd just come clean and apologize, he'd feel better.

      Delete
    17. He did the right thing, why should he apologize?

      Delete
    18. Ripard Teg is one of the biggest douschebags in eve online who got a good person banned and he knows it. Even Erotica's marks liked Ero. As soon as I'm director, I'll show him how I really feel.

      Delete
    19. Awww, now Veers can pretend he ever knew E1, Sohkar, Ripard, or any of the people involved in that witch hunt :)

      It's adorable. Not involved with anything, had nothing to do with anything, but of course - VERY STRONG opinions about things he was left out of.

      Typical carebear.

      Delete
    20. Anon, if you are going to malign decent people be brave enough to post with your name.

      DJ - I listened to the soundcloud, or as much of it as I could stomach. Forcing a person with a speech impediment to read out loud, to sing, humiliating him in any way possible, stealing all of his Eve assets, and stringing him along to make him think he could "win." Utterly despicable, sadistic, emotional abuse. A real nauseating experience - that's what Code is really about. It's not about Eve, it's about using the game to emotionally torture vulnerable people, and at that, I must opine, you are quite talented.

      Delete
    21. yeah, as his corpmate i'm really gonna do that without roles yet... dumbass.

      Delete
    22. Well, considering your talent for anonymous online smearing I'm sure you will do well in Eve. Perhaps you should consider becoming an agent of the New Order?

      Delete
    23. Agents are everywhere

      ;)

      Delete
    24. Oh dear. Did I again mistakenly said that miners can not shoot back?

      Delete
  7. Wonderful story, great job agent Tisiphone Dira!

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    Replies
    1. The Foundation to Protect Endangered Carebears

      Delete
  8. Quick thinking Tisi! Rebel scum defeated, yet again! I take it this corp needs an audit.

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  9. Yeesh. If I saw someone shitting up local with "bet you can't kill my pod" I'd be tripping over myself to provide a warp in.

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  10. Veers stop huffing cat piss and get rid of your cats :p

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    1. If you are looking for something to do check out https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=366607&p=3

      Agent Sabriz is looking rather stupid, her campaign is a bust, and not a single kill (or even attempted kill) has been had. Why not spread your monastic order to the HQ incursion community?

      Delete
    2. Why do they call it cheesing you might ask?

      Cause it's Fon to Due. :D
      (Thank you South Park for that gem)

      Delete
    3. @ Brother Roland:

      Been watching a bunch of South Park, and that episode gets me every single time. Such lulz :)

      Delete
    4. Curse your rockin tits

      Delete
  11. Nice story. I like how this blog has new stories all the time. Unlike the shit anti ganking blogs that just have stupid photoshops

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  12. - Bot-aspirant behavior is not permitted.

    EVE is a Sandbox isnt it?

    What else than ganking can Code do?

    No incursion
    No 0 sec living
    No PVE
    No wars
    No factional wars
    No exploring
    No Manufactoring / Science
    No mining
    No trading

    Youre limited to do 1 named ganking!

    - Bot-aspirant behavior is not permitted.

    You break your own rules, cause you act like bots. Change to Catalyst / Vexor / Thrasher / Brutix gank a target and thats all???

    Eve is a sandbox isnt it?

    So what with the other part of EVE

    Its seems the whole Code is limited to do boring things again & again & again & again & again

    Of course i would get bored if i would do always the same thing like mining in my whole EVE live, so i dont. But mining like a bot is exactly the same (if not even more than 150%) than ganking like a bot.

    - Bot-aspirant behavior is not permitted.

    Please write a new Code like this:

    Ganking like a bot is the only part in EVE that i can do cause iam an Agent!

    ill never join code : ITS PURE BOREDOM !!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *** 100% Approved by Veers Belvar ***

      © Copyright - Veers Belvar

      Delete
    2. Rofl confirming the only thing any of us ever do is gank, and all the verified kills and other things we do that are well documented are just an elaborate plot by The Mittini in order to fool valuable pillars of content creation in EVE such as "Random anonymous blog poster".

      Delete
    3. I may have hit bone with the sandbox comment. :P

      You don't have to join Code! Get a permit, follow the sacred laws of HighSec as outlined in the Code, and be happy.

      Delete
    4. @Anon 8:30

      Not all playstyles appeal to everyone. I've tried mining. Doing it solo is boring; I may do it as a fleet booster/combat protection, but the actual mining is boring. I've tried missioning; that's also boring, and the most I could bear to do was a little bit to up my Caldari standing for cheaper tax rates in Jita (on my trade alt, of course.) Exploration doesn't appeal to me either; neither does faction warfare or even station trading (the Caldari standing was to get me better mineral prices for the manufacturing I do). However, I also don't like suicide ganking. Nothing against it, but it doesn't appeal to me, and I don't think less of CODE. for doing it - if they like it, that's fine. I just don't like it - a whole bunch of setup for a few seconds of pewpew, then I can't play on that character for 15 minutes? Nah, can't do that. Personally, I like Null warfare. The politics and the drama keeps me very entertained out of game, and when I have time to actually play the game (beyond updating my industry jobs that I use to fund PvP), I love to go on fleets that can sometimes be a good deal of combat (certainly more than 25 seconds). That some people might not enjoy that, though, doesn't bother me. Eve is a sandbox. Do what you want. Just don't expect everyone to play your way, and don't expect all playstyles to necessarily be compatible. That's part of what makes Eve interesting.

      Delete
  13. Oh man, that was beautiful!! Way to go agent Tisiphone Dira.

    The Code, winning everlastingly. \o/

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  14. *** 100% Approved by Veers Belvar ***

    © Copyright - Veers Belvar

    ReplyDelete
  15. Sometimes, I smell my farts and...this is...mmmmm....

    Gooooooooooooooood

    Because I am Veers (fucking lawyer you stupid idiots) Belvar

    ReplyDelete
  16. Do you ever wonder what would happen if you looked into a mirror in a dark room, and said the name "veers" 3 times? I do. I've lost sleep over this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you might see anonymous blog poster a 9:01 pm (and presumably also 8:54 pm) pretending to be me staring back at you in the mirror. It would not be a pretty sight, I think.

      Delete
  17. Gank Bots listen:

    EVE is a Sandbox, its ok that you play BOT games.


    It doesnt matter if you gank a miner alone or if you gank a Freighter with 15 in fleet.

    BOT is BOT it doesnt matter what a Bot is doing.

    Definition:

    robot
    ˈrəʊbɒt/
    noun
    noun: robot; plural noun: robots

    1.
    a machine capable of carrying out a complex series of actions automatically,

    YOURE ALL BOTS
    (it doesnt matter if ganking, mining or placing scams every 10 sec in Jita)

    And i never will become a Bot!
    (not in mining, not in ganking)

    If youre to weak or to stupid to do anything else than to be a BOT of Highsec its your problem

    This post is only for your information, that you are PURE BOREDOM! nothing else

    Eve is a sandbox isnt it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Next time just consider a permit when operating in New Order Sov space. It's really the smart thing to do.

      Delete
    2. It really is. Everyone should buy a permit to avoid losing ships.

      The Code ALWAYS Wins!!!!!

      Delete
    3. Or you could just take the Veers approach. Don't buy a permit (or even accept a free one!), relentlessly mock the CodeBros, and still don't lost a ship. 10 mil cheaper and a lot more fun.

      Delete
    4. How is mocking Code working out for you Veers?

      How is anything to fight code working out for you?

      Delete
    5. Going great, anonymous poster too afraid to post with his in game name? How is being a coward working out for you?

      Delete
  18. Less than 52 seconds before fulfilling their wishes. That's very good.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wish I was Veer/meh... too lazySeptember 5, 2014 at 2:38 AM

    This may be the first recorded incident of a player blowing up another player via gank (2 actually!) with Concord present. EXPLOIT! FOUL PLAY!

    To the FORUM!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yawn, idiot.

      Delete
    2. Put your degree where your mouth is... raise up a new rebel army for us to crush Veers.

      The CODE always wins o/

      Delete
    3. as opposed to the "old" rebel army that you crushed? And what is the point of raising an army in highsec? It's not like you can control territory - wars are just a tool for griefing PvE corps.

      Delete
    4. I smell some veers tears hitting the blog.

      Delete
    5. If there are tears, I think they are from the CODE clowns over my last accurate observation to DJ -

      'DJ - I listened to the soundcloud, or as much of it as I could stomach. Forcing a person with a speech impediment to read out loud, to sing, humiliating him in any way possible, stealing all of his Eve assets, and stringing him along to make him think he could "win." Utterly despicable, sadistic, emotional abuse. A real nauseating experience - that's what Code is really about. It's not about Eve, it's about using the game to emotionally torture vulnerable people, and at that, I must opine, you are quite talented."

      Delete
    6. Just came back after a 3 day holiday, someone must have really pissed off this veers character if he is still here carrying on

      obligatory CODE ALWAYS WINS :D Keep up the good work.

      Delete
    7. You kidding me? This is more entertainment than the zoo, and its free.

      Delete
    8. "Quoting myself from elsewhere in the same comments"

      mmmm my farts smell good

      Delete
  20. The Foundation to Protect Endangered Carebears

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hey Veers, go shoot some pods for the contest. Someone poke George and ask him to toss in a golden pod to the prize pool.

    If someone pops Gevlon, Dinsdale, Liberty, Mine Teck, or Ripard and places with the kill, I'll sing a song of the winner's choosing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who might your alts be?
      royalmoron?
      rolf soprano?

      Delete
  22. lol, lets set this straight:
    Since AT cowardly tucked their tails and ran from the AT, codies are laughing stock auf New Eden especially highsec.
    People arent afraid, they taunt codies even in Pods, making fun of codies. Codie comes and shots the pod, but gets still gets concorded.
    Costs of the Pods? Nothing.

    ReplyDelete
  23. "and the code acclaimed..." much blablabla and so the fairy tail for dim codie boys came to an end.
    seriously, in the light of this AT, code wrote history. codies proven themself the biggest cowards in EvE, better as any Antiganker could have done!
    In these lights those stories at theses pages sound more and more rediculous and the childish nature of that kids come to the light. lets just look at those childish belvar trolls.
    xD

    ReplyDelete
  24. Pffftttt...more sandcastle kicking.
    You simpletons actually get off on this?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. More whining. Your tears nourish me.

      Delete
    2. You're just mad because you're not smart enough to build a sandcastle

      Delete

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