Tuesday, September 30, 2014

The TESTy TESTie, Part 1

Everyone says nullsec is stagnant. The truth is, tensions are very high right now. The smallest thing could trigger a full-scale war. Only the tireless efforts of nullsec diplomats hold things together.

Enter Kayne Korablv, a two-year veteran of the highsec mining circuit. For reasons known only to himself, he chose to mine illegally in a fail-fit Retriever. Agents hellyeaz, Supremacyy, and Princess Gank Enat from the Systems High Guard corporation teamed up to put a stop to Kayne's madness. They had no idea what they would unleash.
Supremacyy > Kill: Kayne Korablv (Retriever)
hellyeaz > Kill: Kayne Korablv (Capsule)
Kayne Korablv > Yea, no shit you turtle.
Kayne Korablv > Enjoy your gank elsewhere.
Supremacyy > best to dock up when you go afk
Kayne Korablv > Enjoy saying Hi to TEST in the next few days
When Kayne returned to his keyboard, he made some idle threats about enlisting TEST Alliance Please Ignore. He also called our Agents "turtles", so they didn't think much of it.
Kayne Korablv > Well I guess you should strop thinking you are the law?
Princess Gank Enat > First of all we are not thingking we are the law. BECAUSE WE ARE THE LAW
hellyeaz > authority is just the ability to send men with guns to enforce your rule
hellyeaz > so by that definition, we are the laa
Princess Gank Enat > BUY A DAM PERMIT BRO
Kayne Korablv > Buy a permit? From you? HAHAHAHAHA
Despite personally experiencing an act of Code enforcement, Kayne doubted there was law in highsec.
Kayne Korablv > You're fucking precious aren't you. Go be the fake police somewhere else.
Supremacyy > Bottom line: if a capsuleer needs to step away from his client, he should dock up.
Supremacyy > http://www.lawofhighsec.com/the-law
Supremacyy > you break the law you pay the price
Kayne Korablv > break the law? Are you fucking kidding me?
Don't think of it as shooting a bot-aspirant without warning. Think of it as supplying a warning for future ganks. We know some carebears delete their Code-related EVEmails, so this works out best for everyone.
Kayne Korablv > Guess what guys. FUCK THE CODE.
hellyeaz > www.minerbumping.com learn it live it love it\
Kayne Korablv > FUCK YA'S.
Kayne Korablv > SUCK MAH DEEK
Kayne Korablv > DO WHAT YA WUNT BRUH
Kayne Korablv > lelelelelelelelel
Kayne Korablv > hahaha, boasting about a retriever gank because you're too much of a bitch to fly into null.
You'd think a miner would be impressed by meeting a real, live Agent of the New Order. Kayne didn't care. As a highsec miner, he had little respect for people who live in highsec. Nullsec is where the real action's at, or so Kayne heard.
Kayne Korablv > I wanna have FUN with you guys.
Kayne Korablv > Put a big bounty on me, tell all your CODE buddies that THEY ARE SHIT CUNTS AND SUCK E PENIS. lelelelelelelelelelel.
Kayne Korablv > lelelelelele.
Princess Gank Enat > Please no bad language
Kayne Korablv > Um, no.
Kayne Korablv > I wanna be really really hated by you guys.
Kayne Korablv > So I can hunt yoooooou.
His ship and pod destroyed, Kayne didn't think he had anything left to lose. Actually, every second a carebear goes without buying a mining permit is a tragic loss.
Princess Gank Enat > Must keep local clean
Princess Gank Enat > you are a miner
Kayne Korablv > hahahaha, mate. Miners make the universe go round, without us you have no ships.
Supremacyy > honestly we don't hate you Kayne Korablv
Supremacyy > we want to help you
Kayne couldn't resist the old Miner Bingo line about how important miners are. Without miners, no one would have ships. Then again, Kayne didn't have a ship anymore anyway, so what's the harm?
Kayne Korablv > haha, well you can help test when tey come looking for you because you just blew up one of their main Ship suppliers. hahahahahahaha
Kayne Korablv > You fucked up real good.
Princess Gank Enat > Tell test to come baby
Kayne Korablv > Alreeeeady done. ^_^
Princess Gank Enat > How bout we come and "Test" your next ship
Kayne Korablv > You love being Internet bitches. lol
Kayne Korablv > too scared to come to null.
Then Kayne revealed the shocking truth about his fail-fit Retriever...

...Behold, one of TEST's "main ship suppliers". I had no idea things had gotten this bad.
Princess Gank Enat > We have a reason for everthing bro
Kayne Korablv > Yeah, you're small penises. hahahaha
Kayne Korablv > your*
Kayne Korablv > Too scared to go to null, so pop people in high sec because you're just internet bullies.
hellyeaz > again please keep local clean, and show some respect
Kayne Korablv > Show some RESPECT? hahahaha
Kayne Korablv > To CODE?
Kayne Korablv > That's really. Fucking. Cute. Cunt.
Our heroes were struggling to establish a rapport with the miner. Kayne hated two things: "internet bullies" and "cunts". Our Agents took their leave. The matter was forwarded to a more senior Agent.
loyalanon > o/
loyalanon > I understand you are having issues with a few code enforcers
Kayne Korablv > lol
Kayne Korablv > They are the ones with issues now.
Kayne Korablv > All four have been put on the insta-gank list for all test pilots.
Now loyalanon would be faced with diplomatic challenge of his life. Either he would bring Kayne to the Code, or TEST would bring war to highsec.

To be continued...


  1. "Kayne Korablv > haha, well you can help test when tey come looking for you because you just blew up one of their main Ship suppliers. hahahahahahaha"

    When put to the test
    Agents rise to greater heights
    Carebears lie instead

  2. Princess Gank Enat > BUY A DAM PERMIT BRO


    1. It's a permit that allows you to store water, I think.

    2. the moment TEST asks BNI for support ... good bye CODE xD

  3. watch list for lack of repect of the code? almost all of new eden!
    Better make a list of who respects code, much shorter!

  4. another big chance for royal moron to fail...
    he better take his meds.

    1. Kalynn why are you so angry?

    2. Yaaaaaaawn...
      Hmm you should take you meds to. Your code could not hit me once when they had the chance. Now the chance of you coming to 0 sec is 0.

  5. Can we mark off "I have powerful friends in null-sec" since he's bragging about being TEST's main supplier?

    1. Although I'm not sure if crashing on BRAVE's couch counts as either "powerful" or "null-sec"...

    2. Unlike most players with a frontal fa├žade, I do have powerful friends in Null Sec. All 0 of them.

    3. Powerful people don't live in nullsec, they live in highsec. There are no powerful people in nullsec - it's all a giant farce.

  6. What is there in the fallacy you code monkeys call the code even warrants respect...it is just a fermenting piece of feces...kind of like the buffoon of highsec himself...

    1. I see some epic rage from randoms on the comments of minerbumping. No wonder this site is still alive.

    2. you don't have enough humor for that.
      guys like royalmoron and others try to elicit anger instead of only shooting ships.
      I their arse gets cooked, they cry unprovoked and more than carebears.
      Now THAT is embarrassing.

  7. Breaking Development: CCP to announce a petition limit of 1,000 per month per pilot to cut down on frivolous petitions from Veers Tears and MyDryNutSack Bennington.

    1. That's too generous. It should be limited to 5 petitions a month to increase Bonus Round and teamspeak harassment activities.

      20 people harassing you in a course of a month even WITH compelling evidence? Too bad, only a quarter of them will get possibly Rek't.

      My name is Beers Veldspar, and I approve of CODE.'s Bonus Round and Out-of-game shenanigans.

      "Fly, or fly not, there is no AFK" - Master Splinter, from The Lord of the Rings Episode 2: Attack of the Electric Boogaloo Part 1 Season 9 Deluxe Box Edition only on VHS.

    2. Wow DJ, you actually described the average code agent and their wannabes.

    3. DJ - delusional and vapid as always.

      Baiting emotionally vulnerable people to get them to have a meltdown on chat/TS =/= an accurate response to despicable lies from an anonymous poster too afraid to use his in-game name.

      And I never post anonymously, yet another lie from you, as per usual. You would have done well in the Politburo of communist Russia, you seem to have a knack for these things.

      And for the record - my views have always been consistent, I have never contradicted myself. And yes, I am an important player, I led the successful campaign by incursion runners to resist the extortion demand of CODE.

      As for your psychobable - so far CCP banned you for real life harassment, but has taken no action against me. So who is the mentally ill one here?

    4. I like men.

    5. "Baiting emotionally vulnerable people to get them to have a meltdown " you must write headlines for CNN, so sensational!

    6. DJ, it's fairly evident that besmirching my good name is my highest priority as of late.
      Saving High Sec is Quaternary (with painting my nails, shitposting profusely and contracting AI(MED)S to and from strangers in the queue).

    7. When did you ever have a "good name" Veers?

    8. Yes sweeeet DJ i agree with butthurt miner thats describes you guys.
      You descibre yourself perfectly.
      Did you ever listen to yourself and you guys.
      Don't you get whats written on this blog?
      Illusory superiority!
      Self-serving bias!
      Dunning-Kruger effect!
      Pollyanna principle!
      Lack of self-esteem!

      Another shot into the own foot!
      You made my day!

  8. The carebears hatred comes from being in a PVP game and staring at rocks all day long. It damages the soul and causes them to hate themselves. The knights of the New Order remove the miner from the rocks and it causes the self-loathing rage to vent.

    We are helping Carebears by saving their souls. This one has a lot of rage since he is the main supplier for the entire Test alliance! Perhaps he can still be saved.

    1. Eve isn't strictly PvP.
      It has PvP elements, as well as PvE elements.

    2. And the PVE elements all affect the PVP environment. What, you think the isk you're generating shooting at red crosses has no effect on inflation for all players? Give me a break.

    3. I think its the other way around remy

    4. I have an "inflation" in my rectum.

  9. Just let the CODE guys play the game like they want to play it. Why is everyone all up in arms? This is a GAME, people! PLAY IT.

    1. It is a game...

      The problem is that code is running a protection racket and attempting to force their agenda onto the other players who reside in highsec. I play the game as I want to play it, which happens to be disregarding the code (note the disrespectful lower case), their agents, and the coward of highsec himself, James 315. So Jimmy, is your ass still leaking plaid or did you manage to find a butt plug and plug it up?

    2. I could replace what you just said with any number of things... for example.

      "The problem is that R&K are pipe bombing and attempting to force their agenda on players who reside in nulsec"

      "The problem is that lowsec pirates are gate camping, which affects my travel"

      Welcome to the sandbox kid, where everything you do affects someone else in one way or another. This in no way removes your ability to play how you want to play, but there are a tonne of things that get 'forced' on us every day in this game. This is not a problem with the game just by virtue of someone messing with how you want to play it, because in the end, your assailants are playing it how they want to as well.

    3. The abuse of nullsec is the endless boredom and a broken system. You can see the crying on a daily basis on the Eve forums, and the crying is from the CFC/N3 folks who run the place.

    4. The abuse of analplugging is the endless buttsecks and a broken anus.
      You can see the crying on a daily basis on the Buttocks, and the crying is from the ASS/CHEEKS folk who run my rectum.

  10. TEST leader #67: Guys, we need to come up with yet another excuse why we're leaving nullsec
    TEST director: How about we just want to have fun?
    TEST leader #67: No we already tried that and no one believed it.
    TEST director: Oh hey look, that annoying guy who just sold me 10 caracals got blown up, looks like he made a MB story. He actually believes he's a main supplier. LOL Maybe we could say we're leaving to destroy CODE in highsec.
    TEST leader #67: Brilliant! That could actually work!
    TEST director: Boss, but how are we gonna afford this? They have better killboard and more isk.
    TEST leader #67: Hmm.. good point. I know, we'll sell "mining permits" for 10m isk.
    TEST director: But boss...
    TEST leader #67: shutup. I'm the genius here. And don't go messing around with those CODE fellows, I don't want to have to payout in SRP. Let the troops know we're heading home to highsec to destroy CODE and save the carebears. Maybe that will buy us some karma to offset all the dick pics linked in local.

  11. loyalanon's not much of a diplomat, but I know highsec will be saved! Damn your cliffhangers, James 315 (peace be upon You)!

    1. Making Loyalanon a Diplomat is like eating Rat Poison; It's definitely a good idea!

  12. HAHAHA.... this one is going to be hilarious. A Big Null-Sec entity messing around in HighSec; no chance of happening, but trully, I want to see that blue-ball-carebears going to HighSec, without Supers, without bombers, without interdiction spheres, having to care all around from Concord and fighting dudes that want to fight-back and have no Concord Care.

    1. Well, the -10.0 security status means that it's open season. As for your statement of them wanting to fight...yeah right. I've camped stations with them in it and they refuse to come out. Do you know why? I know why. They don't want to lose their precious ganking ship to someone who will shoot back before they actually use it to gank. If they do, then they don't get reimbursed for the loss by the buffoon of highsec himself, James 315.

      code: chicken out, deny everything: the cowards of eve.

      Says it all I think.

    2. You don't have the smarts to camp us in bro. What part of CODE. = 1337 PvP don't you get?

      If I had 1 isk everytime some random carebear; like Butthurt Miner, made a claim based on total ignorance of Eve mechanics I have about 3,564 isk now.

    3. Not only does he display ignorance of mechanics, but how we operate as well. If I lose a catalyst but don't achieve a kill, I still claim it and get reimbursed for it. The whole point is to operate at zero personal net loss. Duh.

      -Galaxy Pig

  13. You guys might be disappointed here. TEST has provided members and alts for our fleets from almost the very beginning.

    I expect a wonderful result to this one.

  14. You get all that from James' character portrait!?!

    Maybe you should lie down Gorilla, take it easy for a couple of days.

  15. Remiel trying to get famous....

    Remiel Pollard > for every gank performed in the name of Veers in response to something stupid he says (and you have to specify what he said for the gank) mail me, and i will personally replace your loss x2

    Ganking random people because you are angry at me....lame. Why not come and try to gank me instead, tough guy?

    1. https://zkillboard.com/kill/41541591/

      This kill proudly dedicated to the stupidity you just posted.

    2. 17 catalysts to kill 1 skiff? That's pretty awful. Are you guys really too poor to afford decent ships?

    3. Veers, when I see you do better, then I'll accept your critique. Until then, your lack of a 'pair' is grossly unimpressive in comparison to even a failed Skiff gank.

    4. Dude...get a tornado......if you are too poor to do it right, get a new job.

    5. Let me retract my earlier statement, my anus is ready Remiel.I'll even doll up as a ladyboy so you can thrust with post-haste without hesitation.

      My rectal resists: AIDS - 0% Poo Stains - 20% Semen - 40% Laxatives - 50%

      Damage to deal: 254mm "Rekt" Anuscannon I with Sperm L

    6. I HAVE BEEN DEFEATED!! No one can handle an anus like that, not even a GREAT poo-pooer like me. I mean pew-pewer... DAMMIT!!

    7. Begging to get a leadership role? I seem to be recall being offered the CEO role, and you clowns begging me to come on teamspeak. I laid out a real vision, the kind that would have avoided the banhammer, but you jokers refused to listen, and now you are banned.

      Your amazing ability to just lie and lie and lie is noted, DJ. How about trying to stick to the truth for once?

    8. Sadly my stick of truth barely reaches 1 inch while hard.

    9. veers is definitely an ass man lol

    10. Unwarranted Self Importance? I do not concur with that statement, DJ. I think it would be more accurate to that I have a Universally Shit Intellect. Or both.

    11. Ravioli Ravioli Give me the formuoli

  16. "I seem to be recall being offered the CEO role"


    1. You can run code
      From: loyalanon
      Sent: 2014.08.19 23:55
      To: The Conference Elite, Capt Starfox, James 315, Veers Belvar,

      Hello Veers,

      Due to your incessant whining regarding code I offer you this oppurtunity to join the conference elite and run the alliance in a better manner then I currently am doing.

      I trust the corp/alliance will get a better killboard and enforce the code (which you havent done at all since you started whining)

      I hereby trust to see an application into codee and for you to be leading gank fleets considering you are a better ceo/eve player/everything then myself.

      This invitation will stay open for the next 12 hours.

      If you are unable to join code for whatever reason or alternatively do not want to take up this oppurtunity to put your words into action, then I am sure we will all take the oppurtunity to laugh at you harder then we already are.

    2. My name is Beers Veldspar and I approve of this Bovine Faeces.

    3. I think you missed the point of that mail.

      Here, let me give you a tl;dr version of that mail:

      Shit, or get off the pot.

    4. Also, I don't see anywhere in that mail where you were offered a CEO role btw. So, once again, you've been busted in a downright lie.

    5. Actually, I was in fact offered a CEO role. A CEO role of Rectal Orifices Ltd. that is.

    6. Goodness i'm drunk...just one more gallon of piss.....

    7. wtf do you think leading the alliance is? You really need a psychological examination Remiel, you come across as delusional and dysfunctional.

    8. Dsyfunctional IS the key word here Remiel, for it is what my erectile state is in currently.

    9. Veers given the oppurtunity to run code and he backs down because he doesnt have the balls.

    10. Now that the cream of the crop of the New Order has been banned, who is laughing?

      Your despicable griefing and lies landed you precisely the punishment you deserved.


      please, do whatever else you want in life - but use proper grammar!

    12. Veers, things are casual here in the comment section, you don't need to take it all so serious. If he wants to use casual vernacular, grammatically correct or not, it is ok.

      Serious Veers, you are bordering on causing mental anguish and I do not appreciate it.

  17. That's it Code. That is it. Do you really want to know my true vision of Eve? I'm not sure you could begin to comprehend that what is in my mind is ahead of that of other visionaries.

    My accolades and credentials are beyond that of lesser sapiens on Earth, I have not only a great ideology for Eve, but the only TRUE ideology. I wonder if you are even prepared to hear what I will expose to show falsehoods from the one truth.

    Are you sure you really want to know? Very well. I shall tell you.

    You listening? Are you sure?

    Very well. I shall begin:

    I like to shitpost lel.

  18. What I believe? No, you base simpleton. It's what I BREATHE.

  19. I used to respect Veers as an upstanding member of the AG/WK community. His posts were full of wild assertions based on his limited understanding of game mechanics and more recently economics. That was fun stuff to read and livened up the otherwise dull 150 page AG forum threadnaughts... But this new Veers I don't like one bit. His childish and egotistical manner just doesn't resonant well anymore.

    Please Veers can we get the old you back?

    yours truly,


    1. Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

    2. Begging to be part of the new order? Do you ever tell the truth? You came to me begging for better leadership - and when I offered a vision for a gentler new order, you were too busy trolling to think about it. Had you had a bit more sense, you would still be playing the game with us, instead of being relegated to comment posting.

      And I happen to be an expert on Eve, and spacerich to boot, and will continue to express my warranted and correct opinions.

    3. I was the party that got more entertainment out of it. I was able to demonstrate how you are just a bunch of troll who don't follow your own laughable "Code."

      And hopefully you have learned your lesson about how to behave, and are done with the bonus room style garbage. I am happy to chat with you in game if you are exhibiting improved character and moral values.

  20. "Ganking is a game. Predator vs. prey. Hunter vs. the hunted." Totally agree, I support the New Order.I know that I am the prey but I'm not a stupid carebear, I never autopilot and never sacrifice tank for yield, I will however go afk once in a while (hardly ever) to take a piss or put on a load of laundry or something, but I understand the risk I'm taking. All my ships I put a lot of effort into its defenses, Agents have tryed and failed once so far to bring down my Mack. 2 cats could not take it down, I enjoy my role as the pray and am always trying to stay one step ahead with better and better fits. With out risk I would not enjoy the game, I am probably one of the only "carebears" that are willing to still ninja mine in null with a prospect not for profit but for the rush of it. I will not purchase a permit for 2 reasons, 1. My mining corp is against the New Order and would think i'm an awoxer and 2. I don't want protection, like I stated before I enjoy the rush of being hunted. I sometimes go as far as mining as deep in your territory as possible. But since I do support the new order I may donate some isk using an alt. Also I would like to point out that there are a bunch of ice miners in the Osmon and Wuos area that need guidance, sure I've seen some agents here and there but New order activity needs to be increased in that area in my opinion. So from now on I will be splitting my isk 3 ways evenly, fueling my corps pos, bettering my fits, and donating to the new order with an alt. My Alt/Spy goes by the in game name GankSpank PrankBank

  21. I can't wait to see what happens! But I know loyalannon can do it!

  22. Why the hell should i lie down John? I know your desperate but I'm NOT that easy.;) I demand dinner and a movie first.

    Btw, You code monkeys proclaim how toxic and hate filled AG is yet i was in minerbumping chat last night with an alt actually having a decent convo with some of your people and out of nowhere i got kicked. Talk about hate? Jeez..

    also veers..
    shut the hell up already..

  23. why? There is no better way to see what sociopaths these CODE folks are than their own words on these comments. Absurd lies, delusions of grandeur, the very conduct that got them permabanned by CCP. Instead of accepting their punishment, reconsidering their conduct, and looking to be a force for good in the game, they prefer to continue being despicable griefers.


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