Resistance Is Closed, Part 1

Since the dawn of our brave new era in highsec, there have been those who rebelled against the New Order. Rebellion has largely consisted of people encouraging someone else to do something about us. But occasionally, resistance movements are created in-game. Then they close down.

Some, like KILL A CULT corporation, remain open. The founders of corps like these just don't have the heart to give up, even if they can't attract new members.

SPIONKOP, the "leader" of KILL A CULT, last updated his followers back in February, complaining about something a New Order Agent said in local. Judging by the lack of subsequent activity, Agent Droopsack had the right diagnosis: The game's over.

Other resistance movements merely change in form. The legendary rebel spy Ledrian Saisima wasn't able to get much support for his counter-Order intel corp...

...But he's got a new plan, which he will unveil on January 1, 2014. We're living on borrowed time until then.

Ledrian's not the first to set a date certain for our destruction. blood valentine vowed to deploy the full resources of his corporation against the New Order starting on March 1, 2013.

The corp's motto: "Kill the New Order... or die trying :D". They died trying, I think.

Other anti-Order corps, such as To The Stars, merely speak out against the New Order. They don't seem intent on doing anything. Then, out of the blue, our Agents uncovered a brand-new resistance network developing. An Agent intercepted the following message:

THE GIMA CONSORTIUM was responsible for this communication. They declared the creation of the "New Eden Resistance Coalition". The rebels have their own coalition now!

THE GIMA CONSORTIUM is an alliance, and is affiliated with a corp called the GIMA CODEBREAKERS. Its description tells us that they're the only anti-Order mercenaries around. That might not be a good sign for the rebels, actually.

xxSilverAngelxx is the chief of the propaganda wing of the new rebel alliance. She'll call upon anyone in local to join the effort against us. And against the Goons, of course.

According to GIMA, the Goons are intent on conquering nullsec space(!). Worse yet, now the Goons are trying to gobble up lowsec and highsec, too. So much for all those rebels who always tell us that no one is allowed to claim territory in highsec.

With the Goons on the verge of adding lowsec and highsec to their vast territory, only GIMA stands in the way, by bravely complaining about the New Order and setting up a mailing list. As you might expect, our Agents were keen on learning more about this GIMA resistance group. So they spoke to them. What they uncovered would change everything.

To be continued...

The Hard Sell, Part 1

Victory! Nearly a dozen Agents, including three Brutixes, succeeded in destroying Avacyn Eternal's fail-fit Orca in a 0.7 security system. Six hundred million in contraband down the drain. Avacyn might have thought our Agents would be fooled by the shield mods, but all good miners know that a proper Orca doesn't fit any cargo expansion mods. All available slots must be used for tank.

Avacyn had been using mining drones to scrape up minerals from the asteroids. It takes a long time to fill up an Orca that way, so naturally she was AFK. Twenty-five minutes later, she realized what happened to her, and she convoed Agent MotherSammy for guidance.

Avacyn was indignant that nobody warned her about the New Order's control of highsec. Dude, have you even read MinerBumping in the last year? We haven't done this in secret.

Killmails and killboards value equipment based on market value. Miners value things differently. If they're pretending they don't mind the loss, they'll downplay it. If they think reimbursement is still possible, or if they just want to shop around a sob story, they'll give an inflated estimate. Avacyn's tears included a ⅓ mark-up.

Avacyn was flat broke. Or so she would have us believe. If true, she must have bought the Orca with all of her money, immediately before getting blown up.

Incredibly, Avacyn claimed to have only half a million isk in her wallet. Not nearly enough to buy a mining permit.

Before the New Order transforms them into better people, carebears are only capable of a few things. Mining, whining, and lying are among them. MotherSammy and her fellow Agents used antimatter to stop Avacyn from mining, but the whining and lying continued. Either that, or Avacyn genuinely believed you can't make 10 million isk unless you mine with an Orca. Since Orcas cost hundreds of millions of isk, that presents quite a chicken/egg problem.

A lot of down-on-their-luck miners these days have been saying that they would have paid, if only they had been asked. They only say this after being killed, though. When we ask miners to pay before we kill them, they often refuse.

In any case, every miner who enters highsec is deemed to have been asked to pay, and is deemed to have agreed to pay. In other words, every miner without a permit is in debt for at least 10 million isk. It's impolite to make extravagant purchases when you're in debt to your friends. Pay us back first, and then you can treat yourself to that Orca you've had your eye on.

In the beginning, I did anchor secure containers near ice fields to notify the miners of their need to pay. But we live in the age of MinerBumping. This blog serves as an anchored container for all the world. Avacyn claimed to be too new to know any better. She's been playing EVE for about 20 weeks. She may have a point, though: There's not much you can learn about EVE in 20 weeks of AFK mining.

As always, our friendly Agent offered a shoulder for the carebear to cry on. Avacyn was distraught. Could MotherSammy convince her not to quit the game? And more importantly, could she convince Avacyn to fork over the 10 million isk she owed?

To be continued...

The Robotnik-Aspirant, Part 5

Previously, on MinerBumping... Rebel mastermind Dr Robotnik-x began slandering the New Order to anyone in Kino who would listen. He revealed himself to be a denialist, claiming that the New Order doesn't really exist, and that all my supporters are really my alts!

Fueled by Robotnik's passion for his new conspiracy theory, other disgruntled miners in the system expressed their displeasure toward the Order.

I have so much empathy for other people that it's practically a superpower. I could feel instantly that Nomin Wethrin was a wounded soul, a highsec miner who had been killed repeatedly in the past. I reassured her that the New Order wasn't like the other gankers she knew.

Indeed, Nomin had been ganked by Knights of the Order. It was clear that Nomin still felt the sting of that encounter. I moved quickly, making sure she knew that it was her own fault for being attacked. This is a very empowering message for a victim to hear, because it means that they can prevent the bad thing from happening to them again.

But Nomin wasn't having it. She insisted that she had paid for a mining permit. Could it be true?

I doubted Nomin's story. If true, however, her story could blown the credibility of the Order wide open.

Highsec carebear and aspiring bot William Ijonen trotted out the same old miner fears about the mining permit price going up. It's been well over a year now, and the price is still 10 million. Time to put that nonsense to rest.

Gravity is one of the fundamental forces of the universe. It means that the other shoe will always drop. In this case, the second shoe came in the form of Nomin admitting she never put a pledge of loyalty in her bio, and that she lacks faith in the New Order--Code violations both. Her death sentence(s) had been just.

As I did my victory lap, a random rebel in system had a "Eureka!" moment and became the first miner ever to say that I'm guilty of "extortion". In his mind, that is. Everyone else has heard that one a million times already.

As the Kino system celebrated the continued credibility of the New Order, I located and punished a random bot. Foolishly, she attempted to evade me by orbiting the ice she was mining. Another invitation to display my power.

Anthea Meeks had to admit that I was very proficient in my bumping. The bumpers of the Order know how to manually navigate in space, rejecting the comforts of the "approach" and "orbit" commands that so many "elite" PvP'ers rely upon.

Robotnik's ally, Nomin, had been discredited. He returned to the comforting delusion of denialism, but was rudely interrupted by a pack of Goons who entered the system and pledged their support for me.

Incredibly, after having experienced the benefits of the New Order's governance, Kino rebels were now looking fondly upon their natural enemies, the Goons. Could a carebear-Goon rapprochement be in the offing?

To be continued...

Nothin' But 315's

One advantage of being an Agent of the New Order: Everyone knows exactly what you stand for. It's like having a bunch of well-earned medals pinned to your chest.

In the midst of his typical carebearisms, Posse Comatatus uttered an interesting phrase. He called Agent Lenda Shinhwa "an anal James 315". What's this? Is a "James 315" a thing?

Posse didn't know it, but he gave the Nakugard system the highest possible praise when he looked around and said "Nothin['] in here but 315's".

Nakugard had one less non-315 in system after Lenda and Agent Neobdragon put icesea xu to death. Think icesea's fit was bad? He would disagree. In his eyes, it was a fit so nice he lost it twice. The exact same setup was ganked just a couple weeks earlier.

To the carebear, if someone kills your terribly fit ship, you get another, and lose it. You'll continue to lose your Gistii A-Type Small Shield Boosters as long as there is a 315 in highsec.

The Posse's of the world may huddle together in masses, awash in their own ignorance. But even they know the difference between one of their own, and a 315. There's no middle ground in highsec, only good and evil. How can you tell which is which? Well, good is more powerful than evil. The carebears can change their ways, and join us. By contrast, when was the last time you saw a suicide ganker become a carebear? More proof that we're the good guys.

Brought to You by NODD

If someone with a bio like this enters the system, you know you're in good hands:

xxBLACK SKULLxx 929 is the leader of the NEW ORDER DEATH DEALERS, a corporation with scores of gankers. They valiantly defend highsec every day, saving the miners from their own worst instincts by killing them. One of the things NODD is known for is their love of killing Orcas. Enraptured by the memory of one such kill, xxBLACK SKULLxx 929 painted the following vision, which he shares with us:

Click here for the full-size version

Only one thing has ever changed the world: Courageous men and women who stand up for what they believe in and make their dreams into reality. Each time Agents of the Order shoot an Orca, our collective dream for a brighter future is brought one step closer.

Permanent links to all supporter artwork may be found on the Links page.

Top Supporters for September 2013

Each month, MinerBumping immortalizes its top isk contributors in a hall of fame post. The "Month's Top Supporters" sidebar will begin showing the current month's supporters in a few days. You can view the August 2012, September, October, November, December, January 2013, February, March, April, May, June, July, and August top 10 lists at the appropriate links.

Here are our top isk contributors for September 2013:

TOP SUPPORTERS
September 2013


#1. Robert Leheirault
3,580,000,000 isk


#2. Nicholas AV
2,050,000,000 isk


#3. Veekay Tehsu
1,500,000,000 isk


#4. Bing Bangboom
1,000,000,000 isk


#5. Circe Thunder
500,000,000 isk


#6. Elizabeth Aideron
250,000,000 isk


#7. Rickbass4001
231,000,000 isk


#8. handypantz
202,000,000 isk


#9. Ajaxxe Katelo
200,000,000 isk


#9. Kaarous Aldurald
200,000,000 isk

As always, these fine men and women of EVE keep highsec safe by allowing us to use their isk to buy suicide ganking ships. We will always treasure them for their courage and integrity.