Saturday, January 12, 2013

Origin Story of a Rebel

People don't just wake up one day and decide to become rebels. For each resistance fighter there was an inciting incident, something that sparked off his or her doomed career as an anti-Order rebel.

No, that's not an edited screenshot. It's Lil Gangrel, doing what he does best--shouting his feelings into an uncaring local.

Lil claims to have read the Code. I doubt it. People who read the Code tend to agree with it and join our side. More likely, Lil is among those who "skimmed it".

Lil's passion didn't endear him to his fellow rebels. Voddu Itovuo is as jaded as they come, and has his feet planted firmly in the "ignore them and they'll go away" camp. He prefers a silent local.

In an act of supreme defiance, Lil vowed to put a stop to the New Order. He would go to any length, and spare no expense, to end the New Order's tyranny.

First, Lil demanded that everyone try to kill him. He may have been docked up at the time. Agents of the New Order ignored him and continued their vital work. Lil's plan had failed, but that was only Plan A. What would come next?

Lil offered to fund anti-Order activities out of his vast fortune. No one volunteered to take his money, however.

Voddu, a grizzled veteran who resisted the New Order for nearly a day, did not share Lil's youthful optimism. Convinced that the New Order's tactics cannot be countered, Voddu gave up hope of victory and resigned himself to his fate. The miners of highsec may as well hand over their exhumers now.

Lil again offered to spend his money in support of the cause he believed in. He wasn't sure how he would spend it--presumably he was open to suggestions. Voddu stomped on his dreams again. But why was Lil so insistent? What happened to him that radicalized him so?

Lil finally revealed his tragic backstory. He made another vow: He would never mine AFK ever again. He may be a declared enemy of the New Order, but he has taken the first step away from bot-aspirancy. Is there hope for him yet?


  1. Of course there is. There always is.

  2. Congrats, Lil Gangrel, on taking the first step to obeying the Code: Staying at the keyboard while mining.

    You should be allowed to afk when and how you want :) Fuck the thug "order."

    1. Nothing in over a month, then four posts in in week! And we'd completely forgotten about them...

      Their advice is to a) tank your mackinaw or b) mine in a battleship.

      Or you could get in a skiff. There you go, rebels. That one's free.

      Better advice; buy a permit and enjoy mackinaw yield with a more powerful tank than any skiff or battleship: the tank of compliance.

      - Melissa Cesaille.

    2. or you could destroy the new order and not have to worry about that

    3. tears, the precious fuel of EVE :D

  4. The Angry Space Noob

    There once was a little noob. The little noob was always angry. And he did not like it. So he flew in his spaceship and bumped others, and he shot them and killed them, and made everyone angry. This made him happy. Now he was not alone with his anger. So he went on and angered as many as he could find. He owned their ships, and he owned their pods and he owned their space. Many tried to fight back and to own him. And they tried and they tried, but failed. Little did they know that the angry space noob was already owned by his own anger.

    1. +1 for effort. There are a few fallacies however; especially the part where it says "Many tried to fight back [...] And they tried and they tried, [...]". In fact, most of the bumped or ganked would much rather go on this blog and rant anonymously in the comments than actually do something (like maybe tank their ships... skiff, anyone?). And they keep fueling the New Order machine. I have been convinced a long time ago that its not ISK from permits, not even the huge amounts of ISK from shareholders; but actually the things that disgruntled carebears say and do that keeps the New Order well sustained. I'm not saying the New Order runs on hatred, but it runs on reactions. If nobody cared, this movement wouldn't have become anywhere near as big as it has. It would probably still be James bumping by himself.
      So thank you, on behalf of all the New Order, for doing your part in keeping the crusade to free highsec alive.
      And again, +1 for effort.

    2. James has been playing for many years and has been part of both Major and minor corporations, at various security levels. He could blow up your ship in various entertaining and original ways. Yet instead he tries to save all human miners.

      Think about that.

    3. Let's check James' killboard.

      650 kills in 6 years.
      In the last year did he killed only miners.
      2011 He killed 4 Hulks.
      2010 He killed 4 haulers.
      2009 Nothing.
      2008 Killmail whoring with Goons. No solo kills.
      2007 Killmail whoring with Goons and others. No solo kills except two smartbomb kills of ill fitted tacklers.
      2006 A couple more of those smartbomb frigate kills.

      Let's summarize. He is a Goon scrub who follows orders only to hide in fleets. He never made any amount of losses that would indicate actual PvP experience.

      I'd say he is a scared little shit, who despite his fleet experience never dared anything on his own, but who fears losses more than most of his targets.

    4. So wait, you're equating a bumping account with killboards? Have you even read this blog at all? For about half a year now he has been flying a ship with no guns and no deaths bumping. And has been active, been threatened, been carebear stared and been aggressed.

      His stabber is indeed invincible especially in light of your accusations.

      What I'd suggest you do, is aggress his invincible stabber and be the one to garnish a killmail off of him. That would show him!

    5. Killboards don't go back 6 years, Mr. Anonymous.

      And it's not a requirement to post kills, my battleclinic stats show almost a 100 less than there actually are, and it shows I'm no a corp I haven't been in in two years.

    6. Tears over lost killmails. Just great.

    7. >+1 for effort
      any skiff can be killed by 20 catalysts
      hateful reactions = hate. minerbumping runs on hate.

    8. minerbumping runs on laughter and rainbows.
      after the deluge of miner tears, rainbow shines.


  5. You know, taking some sort of silly moral/self-actualized highground doesn't make your mining ship any less esploded.

    -Galaxy Pig


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