Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The Most Powerful Miner in Highsec

When the New Order first started planning to create an army of gank alts, I was skeptical of Retrievers as a target. They're only a quarter the cost of Mackinaws, after all. But due to the potential of any miner's pod to contain expensive implants, I soon learned that Retrievers are a fine target. Diversity among our kills is also a good thing, because it teaches the miners that any Code violator could be the next to die.


Agent Radimir Lenin and a couple other Knights of the Order killed a Retriever and its pod. The total damage was just under 70 million isk. The "victim" was mining alongside his friend, novistar, who vowed to avenge him with wardecs. Radimir, a member of TEST, was unmoved by the threat.


novistar offered an unanswerable rebuttal. It was one hundred percent true--nobody had any idea who novistar was.


novistar explained that he was much more than he seemed. He didn't really belong to the corp he belonged to. This reminds me of the highsec ice miner who insisted that she wasn't really a highsec ice miner.


novistar demanded that the Knights pay 100 million isk to reimburse his friend for the lost Retriever. I guess the extra isk was for pain and suffering.


Agent NoseCandy, one of the Knights who was in on the kill, asked novistar what happened. novistar was still investigating, since he was AFK at the time. Maybe the real source of his anger was that he blamed himself for not protecting his friend.


novistar unleashed a bombshell: He had powerful friends in nullsec.


Suddenly, the New Order's future was in doubt. What if novistar brought his dreadnoughts into highsec and unloaded on us?


NoseCandy wasn't impressed by novistar's employment history, which was mostly filled with carebear corps. But in early 2010, novistar was in one of TEST's member corps. Did he still hold authority there?


novistar revealed his two-pronged retaliation plan: Hacking and Phoenixes.


TEST, Goons, and others may have irons in the fires of nullsec, but novistar was confident he could get them all to wardec every Knight who helped kill his friend's Retriever. So that's the end of that. Time to biomass everything!

19 comments:

  1. This man claims to be capable of getting Goonswarm to wardec TEST when even Montolio himself couldn't manage it.

    Truly he must have awesome power.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's all recorded bro!

    -Oink.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow, you really can't make this shit up. I really feel biomassing one of my station characters and starting a gank alt to join in the hilarity.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Train up the station character to gank. It only takes maybe a week or so to fly a t2 gank Catalyst.

      He can go back to his station duties as a criminal in a pod later.

      Delete
    2. Just make a 10-hour hero & you're good to go.

      Delete
  4. Gonna be a loooong day for the Miner Bingo callers.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So let me get this straight. Goons and TEST are the New Order, and this guy is going to get Goons and TEST to kill the New Order.

    Welcome to the Miner's Paradox.

    ReplyDelete
  6. consequences will never be the same

    ReplyDelete
  7. I HAVE 12 PHOENIXS

    this is my new favorite eve meme now :D

    ReplyDelete
  8. I've biomassed all of my characters as asked by James. Now what?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Send all your remaining ISK to James 315.

      Delete
  9. Normally when I hear someone threaten to kill, I assume they are talking about spaceships and pods. But novistar also mentions IP address. Since IP addresses are not an in-game attribute, I have to assume he is making a real life threat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CCP must be adding subliminals to the mining laser sounds.

      It's making anyone who mines in this game deranged.

      We must save them!

      Delete
  10. Hilarious indeed! Wish I could join in the fun but whenever I'm in tolle the fields are full of permit less afk miners and there's not a new order agent in sight. Where are you guys?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Email an agent, or try Deninard.

      Delete
  11. Truly a powerful man. Singlehandedly moved his goonswarm in to sweep test right out of fountain, delve and into low-sec where they belong.

    Shouldn't have messed with his retriever, test. Think of all the moon-goo you could have saved.

    ReplyDelete

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